A/N: Short boy because I'm tired. I'm considering quitting my job as a mediocre high-school student and taking up writing bad crack fanfiction for the rest of my life (insert cowboy emoji here). I'd put one in, but if there's anything this site is good at, it's messing up my sacred formatting. I swear guys, it's so much better in my writing app.
Also no group chats. Rest in peace.
This was… not ideal.
And sure, there had to be a lack of common sense involved in their journey, but this was asinine. Pure insanity.
"CHAOS! CHAOS!"
Sure, that word worked too.
It started with a door knock. It was a mistake, they could see that now. But at the time, unleashing a mysterious figure behind a clearly forbidden door that they were clearly warned to not enter under any circumstances was a decent idea.
Which is how they ended up here.
Kris had lost count of how many times they had reset.
Susie was attacking of her own volition, and Kris was surprisingly fine with that.
Ralsei had fainted. Not because he was dead or anything, just the whirling of the background brought out his long buried inner ear issues, and he passed out.
And of course, Jevil was still dabbing and doing backflips as happy and energetic as can be.
Upon checking their inventory (empty), Kris got desperate and simply started drinking cough syrup. Turning to Susie with a completely dead expression, they said monotonously, "I'm hoping I'm just high right now." Susie agreed before also taking some. Cough syrup apparently healed 2HP.
After gently ("GET UP RALSEI WE'RE DYING OUT HERE") waking Ralsei, the three decided to do the smart thing and run away.
After locking and barricading the doors to the elevator and slumping down to the floor, Kris said, "Well, that was worse than the time someone set the school on fire." To this, Susie said in a voice too panicky to make Ralsei believe she was anything but innocent: "You can't prove that was me." Ralsei replied as they stepped (read: aggressively power walked) out of the elevator: "I believe you're guilty already."
Continuing their dominance-establishing power walk, Kris threw some Dark Dollars onto Rouxls' counter and slumped down on the floor with the rest of the $%^% Squad, including Lancer who happened to be in the room. "Rouxls, give us that wine thing. I don't know what's in it, can't remember, but I want some." Rouxls, being a somewhat responsible adult, hesitated, but Susie quickly threw one of her magic axes near his head and said, "We just got destroyed by the incarnate of Satan you keep in your basement, get on it and make it snappy." Rouxls wasn't stupid.
Drinking their "adult beverages", Kris explained the situation to Lancer, who recognized Jevil from an incident I could turn into a huge plot-filled story, but it's 22:17 at night and I really don't want this to turn into a two-am kinda fic, so we'll just say… um… they met once before that Knight guy showed up and messed everything up. I know deltarune lore, what are y'all talking about?
Back to the story!
And when Lancer brought up the idea maybe he should go back down to fight with them, because of course they were going back, they weren't going to take that lying down, the Legendary Trio decided that no, no way on earth is this innocent kid going to even see this kid.
After finishing their drinks, the trio headed to the basement and unlocked the door again.
And after a long, drawn out, painful battle that maybe for the sake of good writing I should write out, but it's late, I hate writing action, and honestly I really don't care anymore I just want the vision of Jevil dabbing out of my head now thanks. Our heroes won, Lancer played hide and seek with them, and Kris was ironically grounded for two weeks because they were late to dinner. Kris used this time to test the fatality rates of various household chemicals, and even today you can hear the crying of hundreds of past Krises.
Yeet.
Night y'all. Going to sleep now.
Review or don't, I hope you do, night
-Luna
