The bathroom of the Marauder's dorm is never Remus's favorite place to be. It is a mess, first of all, and it smells awful, even worse than one of Sirius's socks. Beyond that, it clearly isn't designed for comfort, and he needs a bit of comfort right now. As he sits on the cold, hard tiles, leaning his back up against the door, he tries to understand how the smell gets worse and the floor gets harder with every minute he stays in here. But he can't go out, not yet.
"Moony, please come out!"
Remus sighs. Of course, Sirius hasn't left him alone, yet. The werewolf desperately needs some alone time to figure things out.
How else is he supposed to respond to...what had just happened in that room?
(A few weeks earlier...)
A tie snogging party. Remus was a bit dubious about the concept. It wasn't his usual type of party (although his usual type of party was mostly just the Marauders hanging out anywhere with a few bottles of Firewhiskey), but he knew he had to attend. It was one of those things he was obligated to do as a Marauder. Personally, Remus thought this party seemed like a thin excuse for Prongs to snog a certain redhaired girl. He hoped, for her sake, that she stayed far from the Common Room tonight.
The rules were about as barebones as one might expect. Everyone would arrive, and blindfold themselves with their house ties. Then, they would walk around for a minute looking like idiots until they were told to stop, at which point they would reach out and find a partner and start snogging. It was pointless, and absurd- really, just a way for people to manage their raging hormones, with the tantalizing possibility that your fancy-ee would be among the guests and nearby. Ridiculous, Remus thought. Moronic.
"Ready to go, Moony?" Sirius poked his head in, grinning wolfishly.
Remus felt something flutter in his stomach, nerves over the party most likely. Kissing a random person who he might know...what if he was a bad kisser?
Sirius walked closer. "Stop worry. I can tell you're worrying, Moony. It'll be fun."
"For you." said Remus. "Haven't you already snogged half the girls in Hogwarts anyways?"
Sirius shrugged. "Maybe. Doesn't mean I can't go after the other half." He leaned over Remus's shoulder to look at the ties laid out on the bed, breath warm in the crook between Remus's shoulder and neck. "Come on, Moony, they're all the same tie, and you won't be wearing it around your neck for long."
"Just want to delay these absurd festivities for as long as possible." Remus grabbed one of the ties and quickly looped it around his neck. "If I hang myself with this," he said, struggling with the knot, "do you think Prongs will let me out of this party?"
"Nah, he'll probably just blindfold your body and make some girl kiss your cold dead corpse lips. Come on, Moony, the knot doesn't matter, let's go." Sirius grabbed Remus's elbow and tugged him towards the door. "What have you got against snogging, anyways?"
"Nothing against snogging, but random strangers, Pads?" Remus said. "I'd really rather not snog some random stranger."
"It's fun, Moony, you just have all the spirit of a forty-year-old History of Magic Professor!" Sirius pulled Remus down the hallway towards the stairs. Remus probably wasn't resisting as much as he could, but he was too distracted by more fluttering nerves.
"I told you, Sirius, I don't-" Remus was cut off when they arrived into the common room.
"There you are! I was wondering where you two were." James called, grinning. Peculiarly enough, he was standing on one of the tables. Even more peculiar was the sheer amount of people there- Remus realized with dread avoiding a partner would be a lot harder than it seemed.
"Moony was having a Moony attack." Sirius took Remus's wrist with warm fingers and led him down the stairs. "But he's ready now."
"I'm only here under protest." Remus said, yanking his wrist away as they reached the floor.
James chuckled. "Understood. You didn't miss much, anyways, I just explained the rules to everyone." He hopped off the table, and the room quieted in anticipation. "Now, is everyone ready?" Remus undid the cool silk knot around his neck as he glanced around the room- he knew by sight most of the girls there, although several were from other Houses. Somehow, that wasn't comforting. "Then put your ties over your eyes and begin walking!"
"Moony!" Sirius calls. The bathroom doorknob rattles. "Moony, come on!"
Remus ignores him, closing his eyes. Sirius has a short attention span. He'll give up after a while.
"Come on, Moony, don't keep doing this. If you don't want to- you know- we don't have to!" The door shakes. "I know I'm unreliable, but I promise not to, for your sake!"
Remus concentrates on his breathing. In, out, in, out...
"Please, Moony?"
If Remus didn't want to, he didn't have to...well, that's the problem, isn't it? He hears Sirius sigh, and a moment later, footsteps backing away from the door.
"Don't even try it, Sirius!" Remus says. "McGonagall already charmed this door so no one can break it down, remember? The shaving cream incident in fifth year?"
He waits for a response. Surprisingly, there was no groan, no sigh, no "I got you to talk, Moony!", nothing. Remus presses his ear to the door and hears the dorm door closing and footsteps down the hall. What was Sirius up to?
(A few weeks earlier...)
Nervously, Remus pulled the tie up to his face and knotted it at the back of his head. He could already hear other people's cautious steps. He would have to be fast. Remus began walking left, the direction that had looked the emptiest, but couldn't seem to find a way out of the crowd completely- there were bony shoulders and sweaty hands and whispers and giggles wherever he turned. Finally, his arms stretched forward and found empty air. He breathed a sigh of relief and kept walking, determined to put as much space as possible between himself and the crowd.
"Five..." James called, and hope swelled in Remus's chest, he was actually going to make it, "...four...three...ow, sorry, whoever that was, two...aaaand-"
Remus's hands found a pair of shoulders. He tried to back away, but warm hands wrapped around his wrists and pulled him forward.
"Everyone got a partner?" James's voice could barely be heard over the sounds of people running into other people and swearing, or apologizing. "Then- go!"
The pair of hands travelled down Remus's arms to his biceps. Sighing, Remus tried to find the pair of shoulders again- he would just get it over with- but the shoulders were closer than he expected and he felt a pair of lips brush his nose, and then travel to his mouth. There was something about the kiss that melted him like chocolate left in a pocket all day, and he leaned into the other person for support.
The other person pulled away, breath heavy on Remus's lips. Remus knew his own pulse was spiking wildly and his blood was pounding in his wrists. He also knew that, even though he was pretty sure the person's flat chest and scratchy cheeks meant something he didn't want to think too hard about, he didn't want to stop.
Remus ran his hand gently up the other person's neck to their cheek, and felt them shudder. Then, with his thumb, he stroked their cheek until he found their mouth and covered their lips with his own. This time, Remus felt the other person's tongue poke into his mouth and he eagerly returned the gesture. His heart was pounding, shaking his whole body. He felt like his blood was boiling in his veins. The sandy-haired boy couldn't have mustered a coherent thought if he'd tried.
Gradually, he became aware of some sort of noise beyond the edge of his hearing. He pulled away, gasping, and the clamor of laughter and shock suddenly spread like water gushing into a sinking ship until it surrounded him. Remus ripped off his blindfold and turned.
The crowd of partiers were all looking at him, laughing at him, shouting at him. James was cackling over in one corner with a pretty Ravenclaw, his hands on his knees. Peter stared at Remus as though he were Snivellus on a bad hair day. And Sirius...was nowhere to be found. All of Remus's leftover kiss buz vanished as he turned back to his partner.
Sirius was standing behind him, face flushed, chest heaving, and eyes bright. For a moment, they both stared at each other. Then, Remus took one step back, and another, and another, until he and Sirius were an acceptable distance apart. He tore his eyes away from Sirius's face.
The room suddenly seemed too loud, too crowded with people who'd just seen him snog his best friend. Remus dropped his gaze to the ground and pushed his way through the party, away from Sirius. The library would be chilly and deserted at this time of night, and, if not, there were always the grounds. Yes, a bit of fresh air. He could definitely use that right now.
Remus takes advantage of the minutes of silence to calm his thudding heart, cast a few more protection spells on the door, and try and process what just happened. He hadn't been expecting it. In fact, he'd been trying to prevent it. And yet...Remus can't say that he didn't enjoy any of it, and that he doesn't want to do it again. But Sirius is his best friend, and that was just the beginning of the reasons to stop doing it.
He stands up and places a hand on the doorknob. Well, if the blackhaired boy is truly leaving him alone- the thought deflates him a little- then Remus may as well leave. Breakfast might still be on the table, and he can always just avoid being alone with Sirius. Or standing too close to him. Or talking to him. Or being in the same room as Sirius, or looking at him for the next few months, if not the next fifty years. Merlin, Remus may as well just jump out the window now.
He hears the dorm door creak open and jumps away from the doorknob guiltily. While he feels a little pleased Sirius is coming back for him, his relief quickly turns to alarm when he hears a second pair of footsteps.
"Moony!" yells James from the other side of the door. "Pads tells me you've locked yourself in the bathroom?"
Remus sits back down against the door. "Did he say why?"
"No, he said he doesn't know."
Remus doesn't know quite why either, except that he's afraid. Some Gryffindor he is. "Is he out there?"
"Yes."
"Prongs! Traitor!" Sirius says. "Oh, and here I thought we were like kin-"
"Why does it matter that Sirius is here?" James asks.
"I-it doesn't!" Remus stammers, tracing a tile on the floor. "I...like this bathroom. And I don't feel like leaving, because, er, I'm not feeling well today, I just want to stay as close as possible to the toilet right now."
"Well, let us in so we can bring you something, or we can take you to Pomfrey-"
"No! I'll be fine." Remus says. "Just- go have fun, I'm staying in here." Sirius is out there, with his eyes and hair and skin, and Remus doesn't know what he would do, whether either of them could stop themselves, even with James there. He needs some time to cool down and forget before he can face the other boy again. "I told you, I'm not feeling well, and it's such a nice day out that I think you should go enjoy it."
"Okay." James says, sounding unconvinced. "Moony, just stay there a moment." His and Sirius's footsteps trek back out into the hallway.
(Several minutes before...)
A few weeks after the party, Remus was in his dorm, looking through his trunk for his books, when he heard footsteps in the hall outside. "Moony?" Sirius said from the doorway.
Remus flinched and looked up. Sirius ambled in further with his hands in his pockets. "Why do you always flinch when I say your name recently?"
"It's. Ah. Nothing." Remus said. "Just surprised. That's all."
"Hmm." Sirius was suddenly fascinated by a hole in his sleeve, and Remus decided to return to his search for his books. He was pretty sure he'd left them in the common room, but going to get them now would mean walking past Sirius, and Remus was painfully aware that this was the first time they'd been alone together since the party. It just didn't seem like a good idea to be that close to Sirius, that was all.
"Did you need something?" Remus asked without looking up.
"Oh, um, yeah. New tie. Prongs spilled jam on this one." Sirius brushed past the werewolf to get to his dresser. Remus took a deep breath to slow his heart rate while Sirius rooted through a drawer.
The silence stretched on. "Prongs spilled jam?" Remus prompted.
"Well, there may have been some throwing involved." Sirius's back was to Remus as the pureblood tossed the drawer's contents onto the bed behind him. "And I may have thrown a scone at him first."
Remus laughed. In the silence that followed, the sound seemed to echo. It was bizarre. He and Sirius were never silent around each other. Scratch that, Sirius was never silent around him, even when Remus would rather be doing anything but listen. How had that changed so quickly?
Sirius cleared his throat, and Remus looked up. The other boy was standing above him.
"What?" Remus said.
"I need to get through, Moony." said Sirius. "Merlin, Moony, you take up so much space, you're so fat." The joke jarred against Remus's ears somehow, like a mispronunciation of a spell.
"Oh. Uh. Sorry." Remus stood and stepped back, but Sirius was back to studying the hole in his sleeve. "You know, I can fix that for you." said Remus. He took the sleeve, ignoring the slight zap as his fingertips brushed Sirius's.
Sirius laughed. "You're such a girl."
"Someone's got to take care of you. And look, there's another rip, at your collar." Remus lifted his hands to it, to inspect the rip. "What have you been doing, fighting harpies?"
And then he made the big mistake- he tugged slightly on the collar, pulling Sirius's face uncomfortably close to his. Remus tried to pull away, but his hand brushed Sirius's neck and felt frozen there, and Sirius was staring at him, and he wasn't sure who leaned in first but suddenly they were kissing again.
Remus waits. After several minutes, there's nothing but the usual noise of Gryffindor Tower on a Saturday morning. He feels his pulse return to normal and his hands finally stop shaking. After a few more minutes, he cautiously stands, undoes several of the jinxes he'd placed on the door, and pushes it open.
Only to see a small a small rat goggling at him from the dorm doorway. Remus slams the bathroom door shut, cursing. As he casts every locking and repelling jinx he could think of, he hears Peter call, "He came out! Prongs! Padfoot! He was about to come out!"
James and Sirius's thudding steps hurry into the room. "Great work, spymaster Wormtail." says Sirius. "So, Moony, still not feeling well to leave the bathroom?"
"No." Remus tries to make his voice as scratchy and pathetic as possible. "No, no, I think I'm getting worse, you all better leave-"
"Nice try." says James. "Come on, Moony, what, did you transfigure your nose into Snivelly's? We promise not to laugh, much-"
"He looked normal when I saw him." says Peter. "A little flushed, but normal."
"Well, maybe his nose has always been that way and we never noticed!" says James. "Come out, Moony, we promise to accept you as you are."
Remus has to laugh at the unintentional double meaning in James's words.
"We should break the door down." says Sirius suddenly.
"No, no, you should not!" Remus leans against the door, placing his mouth by the crack so they can hear him. "McGonagall put up the wards, remember? And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm fine, leave me alone!"
There is a pause. "Maybe if we try explosive spells." James says, as if Remus hadn't spoken.
(A few minutes before...)
Remus slid one hands to tangle in scruffy dark hair and put the other around Sirius's waist to pull him closer, while Sirius did things with his tongue that nearly made Remus collapse. He pushed forward, groaning against Sirius's mouth, until his friend was pressed up against the wall next to the door. Then, abruptly, the werewolf felt Sirius's hands pushing him away, and Remus tripped over his own feet and landed in a heap by the bed.
"Stop that!" Sirius said.
Remus stood, rubbing his face with both hands. "I didn't mean to! I don't know why, I didn't, it just happened!"
Sirius threw his arms up into the air. "Well, stop making it happen!" he said, as if it were as simple as that.
"Wait, hold on." said Remus. "I was not the only one kissing there, it was your fault, Pads, you and your stupid snog party and your stupid shirt and your stupid t-t-tongue-"
"See, if you wouldn't compliment my tongue skills, this wouldn't keep happening!" Sirius said. "And if you'd stop- looking all Moony- and-"
"Okay, let's calm down." said Remus. Someone had to bring rationality back into the situation. "It- it was just twice, okay? It's not a big deal or anything, we kissed at the party and then we did it again because I had my hand on your neck just like last time, it was just, habit or something, I don't know, why Prongs ever had that ridiculous party in the first..."
He trailed off when Sirius suddenly placed his hands on the werewolf's shoulders and leaned again. Remus shoved him away. "Okay, you were leaning in that time! How is that my fault?"
"It was your fault!" Sirius said, backing up a few feet. "You were rambling! You were being Moony!"
"So you're saying just being me makes you kiss me?"
"W-well, yes, and also if you weren't such a good kisser-" Sirius ran a hand through his hair.
Remus folded his arms. "If I can't compliment your tongue then you can't compliment my kissing-"
Sirius grabbed Remus's arms, pulled him closer, and kissed him.
The other Marauders are still planning. They're smart enough to cast Muffliato so he can't hear them, but, having lived with them for five and a half years, he knows how their minds work. He quickly pulls out his wand, crosses the room, and begins applying locking and repelling jinxes to the window, too. When he returns to the door, he hears a "Let's just try it." and a moment later, the door begins shaking like someone is running into it, over and over again, accompanied by grunts from James and Sirius.
"I told you, it won't work!" Remus calls. Then, something bangs into the window.
Remus turns around and, even after five years of the Marauders, cannot believe his eyes. An owl- Wormtail's old gray one- is fluttering outside the window, carrying a terrified-looking rat.
"Merlin, are you all mad?" bellows Remus.
"Don't leave him out there!" Sirius says. "You know how weak Wormy's owl is, you wouldn't want him to get dropped, would you?"
"You are mad, Sirius Black, absolutely bonkers!" Remus hurries to remove the spells on the window, and open it. He grabs Peter from the owl. Before the Animagus can transform back into a human, Remus whips out his wand and Petrifies him.
There is silence from the other side. "It should have worked by now, right?" says James. "Moony, you didn't actually leave him out there, did you?"
Remus looks at the rat cupped in his hands. What is he supposed to do now? Silently, he begins removing a few of the jinxes on the door.
"I think he might have left him out there." Sirius says. "Our Moony, a murderer-"
"I have him in here!" Remus says. "He's Petrified in rat form, but he's alive and in here." Remus places Peter on the ground and recasts the window spells for safety's sake.
"...So? Aren't you going to let him out?" James asks.
"I will if you let me stay here." says Remus.
"Merlin, Moony's taken Wormtail hostage!" says Sirius. "Our Moony, a kidnapper!"
Remus smiles, and then remembers the situation. "Yes! Yes, I am a kidnapper, and I have taken Wormtail hostage. And unless you leave me in peace, I will...I will leave him in here! And turn his fur purple, or something."
"You wouldn't."
"Yes, yes I would!" says Remus. "For I am the kidnapper Moony, uh, ha, ha, ha. Or whatever." As he speaks, Remus paces the room. If he distracts them for long enough, he may be able to toss Peter out when they're not expecting it.
"Let's try the door again." James says.
"Right, we have to save Wormtail!" A moment later, the door begins trembling even more violently than before. "Moony, think about what you're doing!" Sirius calls. He grunts and there's a loud bang against the door. "You're cutting our Saturday short! We already missed breakfast! Now we're missing our Saturday morning pranks for you!"
"And you'll continue to, unless you leave me alone. In fact, I can assure you, you will miss lunch, too!"
"He's talking like you now, Sirius." James says. "Think you've driven him crazy at last?"
There is a definite pause before Sirius answers. "No, I haven't driven him crazy. He's not crazy."
"Oh, he definitely is." James says. "Moony, what's wrong? Did Padfoot's insanity finally rub off on you."
"You could say that." Remus mutters.
"What?"
"No, he hasn't- rubbed- no! I'm just not feeling well, Prongs, let me be!"
"I'm not going to." says Sirius.
"Yeah, now that you've got Wormtail, we have no choice!"
"I won't let you be, Moony!"
"That's right! Now, once more unto the breach!"
"AAAAAH!" There is a wall-vibrating thud as James and Sirius hit the door again. Remus closes his eyes. What is he supposed to do now? Why can't they just leave him alone? Sirius's words brought him back to the reality of the situation, mainly, that he can't let Peter out without James and Sirius getting in, but he can't stay in here forever, either, no matter how much he wants to. What is he going to do?
His plans are delayed when he hears the loud thuds subside and James and Sirius panting.
"You know who would know what to do about this?" James says at last.
"Who?" Sirius asks. "Oh, no, wait, don't bring her into this, Prongs-"
"Why not?" Remus can hear the excitement in James's voice. "She and Moony are Prefect friends and she's really smart, she could figure out what's wrong!"
"Yeah, but she's never gonna agree to come..." Sirius trails off as James's footsteps leave the room.
(A couple minutes before...)
After a moment of shock, Remus quickly sank into the kiss, rubbing his hands on Sirius's back as Sirius skimmed his fingers by Remus's arse. For a moment, Remus forgot where he was, and what they'd been arguing about, but when he remembered, he pushed Sirius away.
"That one was not my fault." he hissed.
"What are you talking about? Of course it was!" Sirius flailed his arms wildly to punctuate his point.
"How was that my fault?"
"Because- because- you're just standing there- and looking so- so-" This time, they both leaned in at once.
"Oh, come on, Moony, won't you please come out before she gets here?"
Remus sits back against the door. "What's the difference?"
"She'll figure it out!" Sirius sounds desperate. "That woman is too bloody perceptive, she's like a- a- like a witch-"
"We're all like witches." Remus says. "Well, technically wizards, I suppose, but-"
"Please, Moony."
Remus sighs."I don't want- it- to happen again."
"It doesn't have to!" says Sirius. "We can just go back to being normal friends-"
"Why are you so persistent about getting me out of here?"
"Because I want us to be normal, Moony." says Sirius. "I like- being friends with you-"
Remus rubs his chin with one hand. "Look, the reason why I can't leave is because I don't know if I can stop it-" He is drowned out as the loud bickering of James and Lily floats through the hall and into the room.
(One minute before...)
They leaned in too quickly, however, and bumped noses.
"Ow." Remus rubbed his nose.
Sirius grinned, and then whispered, "Don't even try to blame this one on me."
Before Remus could protest, Sirius's lips found his again.
"Come on, Potter, your story is absolute bull-" Lily stops for a moment. "Oh, you weren't kidding."
"Why'd you come up if you thought he was, then?" Sirius asks innocently.
"I- I just- Potter wanted help with Remus, that's all. Remus? Why are you in the bathroom?"
"I'd rather you answer Padfoot's question..." James is cut off by a loud smacking noise, and then Lily's voice is suddenly very close to the door.
"Remus? Why are you in there?" she asks.
"I just...don't feel well." says Remus. "And I want to stay close to the loo, in case I have to-"
"Don't finish that." says Lily. Her voice grows a bit distant. "Did he look sick or pale this week?"
"No more than usual." Sirius says, and Remus rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, he seemed fine this morning." says James. From the creaks against the floorboards, it sounds like he (or someone else) is pacing. "Sirius, you said you were up here talking with him right before he went in, did he look sick?"
Remus cringes as Sirius takes a moment to answer. That is a clue he was hoping Lily wouldn't get. "Y- yeah, he seemed fine." says Sirius. "And Wormy saw him a few minutes ago, and he said he seemed fine, too. He's fine."
"Where is Pettigrew? And what were you and Remus talking about up here?"
"Peter's in there with him." says Sirius. "He tried to fly in on a broomstick, but Remus just Petrified him so he couldn't open the door, and so now he's kind of a hostage-"
"Yeah, what were you and Moony talking about?" asks James.
When only silence meets the question, Remus grits his teeth. "It has nothing to do with Sirius." he calls.
"So there is something!" says James.
"No, no, I don't feel well, that's all!"
"Then why don't you have any symptoms?" Remus can feel Lily's skeptical gaze through the door.
"I do! I do! Wormtail said I looked flushed, remember? I'm flushed, I have a fever, and-" he coughs quickly into his sleeve- "I have a cough, too!"
"So it obviously has nothing to do with me!" Sirius says triumphantly.
"Yeah, I was just up here getting a book, and he came up to change his tie." adds Remus. "Then I started feeling sick and ran in here." He coughs again for good measure.
More silence, except for James's pacing. The werewolf presses his ear to the door, wishing he could see Lily's expression. Did she believe him and Sirius? Who would?
"Black," Lily says conversationally, "why is your shirt undone?"
Remus resists the urge to bash his head against the door.
"I, uh, well, the food fight, with James!" says Sirius. "Remus just said that!"
"Remus said you came up to change your tie, not your shirt." says Lily.
"And I didn't get any jam on your shirt, Pads." James adds.
"Well, the thing is, when I was changing my tie I got more of the jam on my tie onto the shirt, and so I had to change the shirt, and, uh, this is the new shirt!"
"You look a little flushed, too." Lily says.
"Maybe I have what Remus has?" The panic in Sirius's tone betrays him.
James's pacing footsteps pause. "Wait, but I thought you thought he was lying about being sick?"
"I changed my mind!" says Sirius. "I, uh-"
"Enough." says Lily. The room immediately falls quiet. "I think...I think Remus is telling the truth, and we should give him some privacy. Sirius, why don't you stay with him in case he needs anything. Remus, if you just want to open the door and let Peter out..."
"No!" James says quickly. "Peter's- um- in his boxers, he wouldn't want you to see him."
"Fine. Then I'm leaving. Thanks for a waste of my morning, Potter." Her footsteps quickly exit before James can do so much as lovingly sigh.
"I'm gonna marry that girl someday." he says. "Well, Remus, if you want to give us Wormy-"
Remus does so, heart pounding, careful to stick his arm out for only a moment. He doesn't know whether to thank Lily or hex Lily. As he recasts the anti-Alohomora just in case, he hears James unPetrify Peter and the two of them talk excitedly on their way out of the dorm, and then he and Sirius are alone again.
(Several seconds before...)
His mouth was nearly numb now, and yet still felt somehow electrified by the sensation. Sirius was making impeccable noises every time they kissed, and Remus couldn't help but keep kissing him to hear them. Somewhere beyond the buzzing of his lips, he felt Sirius walking him backwards, until they were lying on the bed with their legs hanging off, and Sirius's teeth were on Remus's neck and Remus was gasping and growling, trying to touch all of Sirius at once. Somehow his fingers found themselves at Sirius's shirt buttons and he began unbuttoning them, one by one.
Sirius pulled away, and Remus's breath caught in his throat- he didn't think he'd seen anything more attractive than Sirius with his face flushed and lips puffy and shirt half open, staring at Remus like the werewolf was the most amazing thing in the world. "Are you sure?" Sirius panted.
Remus looked up at him, body feeling almost too warm. On one hand, he wanted more, desperately wanted more, but on the other hand-
There must have been some change in his expression, because Sirius said, "No, Moony, don't-"
Remus pushed Sirius off of him and rolled out of bed.
"No! Wait, come on!"
But Remus had already darted into the bathroom and closed the door. He cast the anti-Alohomora jinx he'd learned to keep Sirius from-
Sirius.
Remus sank down against the door and leaned his head back. What had he gotten himself into?
After James and Peter left, there is a long silence, so long, Remus begins to think Sirius had gone, until finally, Sirius says, "Well, we fooled her."
Remus laughs. "She knew, Sirius. Merlin knows if she'll tell Prongs and Wormtail."
There is another long pause. "I, I don't regret any of it, Moony." Remus feels him lean against the door. "The, uh-"
"Kissing, yeah, that was clear." Remus sighs into his folded arms. "But we're both blokes, Sirius-"
"I know." Sirius says.
"Yeah, so, we can't-"
"Moony." Sirius pauses, as if considering his words. "Moony, I like you more than any of the girls I've dated and any of the girls at this school. Merlin knows...well, you're not as good as Alice as kissing, but no one is, and you're better than the rest of them, and I don't like Alice too much anyways. And we're already best friends, so we don't have to go through any of that boring part at the beginning, and since when did I care what anyone thought, anyways?"
It feels like someone just cast a Wingardium Leviosa in Remus's chest. He quickly stamps out the sensation. "Sirius, I'm a werewolf."
There is silence, and then, "Is that supposed to be news to me?"
"You'd be dating a boy, and a werewolf, and me, Sirius." Remus stares at his knees. "You...you..."
"If you say I deserve better, I will break down this door and hex you, spell or no spell, Moony."
Why doesn't Sirius get it? "You do, Padfoot. You're a Black, and you're funny, and intelligent, and handsome-"
"Much of which could be said about you." says Sirius. Remus doesn't know how to answer. "And being a Black isn't exactly a compliment, nor am I exactly a Black anymore. Look, Remus, you want to know why all of that was happening earlier?"
"The kissing?" Remus asks dryly.
"Yeah, that." Sirius clears his throat and shifts against the door. "It...it was because, well, you kept on doing or saying things in a way that was just so Moony, and then I just couldn't...couldn't not want to."
Images flicker through Remus's mind, of Sirius's chuckle, his exuberant energy, his ripped clothing and stained tie, the way he always invaded Remus's personal space rambling about some crazy exploit, the ridiculous fights they had over inconsequential things and Sirius's melodramatic tactics to get Remus to admit defeat. "I...I know what you mean."
"So will you leave the bathroom?"
Remus takes a deep breath to contain his sudden feeling of lightheadedness. "What's going to happen if I do?"
"I don't know." Remus can hear the grin in Sirius's voice. "Come on, Moony, that's the fun of it!"
Remus breathes in again, stands, and begins undoing the jinx on the door. Each second feels like an agony. He can't keep out the thoughts of everything that could go wrong about this, everything that was already wrong. Finally, he grabs the doorknob, and jerks it open.
Sirius is waiting, looking like he'd just hurriedly buttoned his shirt and fixed his hair. For a moment, they stare at each other, just like they had during the party.
Then, to his surprise, Remus finds himself moving forward, putting one hand on Sirius's shoulder and the other on Sirius's cheek. He gently presses his lips against Sirius's. When they pull away, Remus let out a shuddery sigh. "Not as climactic as I thought it would be."
"Allow me." Sirius said, and kisses him. When they surface, Sirius grins, and Remus finds he likes Sirius's smile much better up close. "So, still hate snog parties?"
"No way." Remus says. "Snog parties are a fantastic idea."