writers notes; another one-shot born from damn plot bunnies... if u dont like it, blame them... GRRRRRR lol, i'm on a one-shot roll~ warning- ooc-ness ahead! Im deeply deeply sorry if u hate. (stepping outta ma comfort zone)
i do not own khr, but i do own ur soul...
In the art of flirting
It was a well known fact, that girls flirted.
And in turn, boys would flirt back. This was part of the human courtship.
Girls would have this natural ability, it was easy. Giggle, bat your eye lashes and smile.
Too bad Miura Haru was a girl, who had no idea how to flirt...
The Vongola gang were at the park, deciding to take a break from mafia and school life...
All the guardians and non-guardians were having a picnic and all the kids and arcobaleno were playing tag.
Miura Haru was on the red and white picnic mat eating cake with everyone else, while eating, she observed her surroundings.
It was then, she noticed a trend of sorts.
At a point in time, she would see a boy and girl together laughing and talking, but, there was something special about their atmosphere. She saw it happen within the group too. She would see Mukuro smiling a genuine smile to Chrome, she would see Hana holding Ryohei's hand, and even Lal mirch would blush while talking to Colonello.
This odd fact did not bother her, until...
She spotted that same atmosphere surrounding Tsuna and Kyoko.
While talking to eachother, they would both smile. They would blush from time time, though Tsuna had a blush on most of the time. And they sat very very close to eachother. It was as if, they were in their own little world...
This act made her frown deeply.
It looked fun, it looked easy, but it wasn't.
The art of flirting was an art, Haru had never mastered. How badly she wanted to flirt with Tsuna. She was smart, but also innocent. However- this factor did not waver her desire to learn.
With determination written all over her face, she sought out a tutour to teach her-
-and on instinct-
-she grabbed Gokudera's arm-
-and ran.
Haru had brought him to a hill far away from the others. It was a small green hill with a wooden picnic bench underneath a grand sakura tree.
"H-Hey! Ahonna! Lemme go!" Gokudera yelled in frustration, while choking on his cigarette.
"Hahi!~ I'm puffed out!~" Haru said in a tired voice, trying to catch her breath while leaning on the sakura tree.
"Stupid woman! What did ya want to do that for?" said a confused and angry Italian.
"Gomen Gokudera-san... but... I didn't really want..." she felt a little bit embrassed.
"Wha?-" his eyes wide.
"I need you..."
What da fuck?
"...to do me..."
Blood almost trickled down his nose.
"-a favour."
TROLL FACE
When realisation slapped Gokudera in the face, he came back to reality.
"A favour? What favour?" he asked, almost worried about what was to come out of the hahi girl's mouth.
"I want you to teach me how to flirt!" she finally said it.
"WHAAA-?"
"You see, I really want to flirt with Tsuna, but I dunno how to!" Haru said looking back at the vongola gang. They didn't even notice the pair was gone...
"Why me? Of all people to tutour you, WHY ME?" his hands balled into fists.
"Coz.. Reborn, tho hes a good teacher, he doesnt know much about girls... Dino... he didn't even have a girl friend in the future, so I'm guessing he failed at courtship too... and Yamamoto... well..." she was stopped.
"Enough said..." Gokudera lifted his hand to form a silence sign.
"Alright... but if I teach you, what's in it for me?" he raised his fine eye brow.
"I'll lay off your back for the whole year! If ever we have an arguement- you can automatically win it!" Haru announced in a cheery voice.
An offer too good to refuse...
"Fine..."
He tried his hair in a pony tail, and put on his glasses-
"Ok... lesson one."
"Lesson one- what men want." Gokudera pulled a white board out of no where and started to write on it.
"Men want a woman who is nice, kind, sweet-"
"Hahi~ Haru is all of that!" she was seated at the picnic bench like a student.
"-and a woman who is NOT ANNOYING." he continued in a ferocious tone, glaring at his stupid student.
"HAHI!"
"But the sad truth is, that men also like, hot women..." Gokudera admitted while looking away scratching his blushing cheek.
"HAHI~ Haru's hot too!" She yelled angrily.
"I'm sure you are... but if you want to pull a man in, you have to look... more..." while blushing, Gokudera made curves in the air, as if out lining a female figure.
"Huh?" as clueless as the stupid girl was... she had no idea what he was implying.
"Umm... ok... just- unbutton the top three buttons on your blouse." now he was uncomfortable...
"HUH?" Haru put her hands over her chest.
"Just do it! You wanna flirt or not?" trying to look away.
All for the sake of flirting...
So Haru undid the first three buttons of her blue blouse.
"Ok, the clevage will attract men. Got it?" Gokudera, trying his hardest not to stare at his 'student'.
"And don't be afraid to touch them abit, ok?"
"Hai!"
"Ok! Now lets try lesson one out on..." he sought-
"Yamamoto!" -and picked out a victim.
"Yamamoto-san~" Haru cooed.
"Hey Haru-" the poor boy stopped in mid sentence.
He was sitting on the grass, taking a break from baseball hitting. But when he heard his name, it was human instinct to turn to the direction in which you heard the voice. But when he turned, he was met with a bending over Haru- whose top three buttons were undone. Too bad it was human (men's) instinct to look at clevage.
"Gah! Haru!" he fell on the floor with a THUD.
"Hahi! G-Gomen Yamamoto-san!" she crouched on the ground to join him. And gave him a smile, which she hoped would cheer him up alittle.
"I-Its ok!" he said while caring for his sore head. But when he touched it-
"Gah!" it stung really badly.
"Oh no! Yamamoto, you have a lump!" in an instant- she automatically forgot about firting. He had a red lump on his fore head.
Wha... Haru...?
"Goodness, its so big!" her eyes almost full of tears.
W-wait! Haru- NOO!
"Here, lemme touch it!"
The result was a passed out Yamamoto... too much blood loss... who knew the base ball idiot was a perv?
And behind the sakura tree, Gokudera face palmed.
"Haru... I think you went abit over board..." Gokudera said while rubbing his temple.
"Hahi... what did Haru do wrong?" she asked sitting on the bench again.
"I think you were just a bit too sexy for Yamamoto's taste..." he said while looking at Yamamoto's corpse in the distance.
That poor, poor bastard...
"Looks like lesson one was a failure... ok on to lesson two!" he annouced while holding a two fingered pose.
"Take note Haru! Don't act too sexy, or else the guy will just pass out, ok?"
"Ok!" Haru said with a smile.
"Lesson two is about talking to men, you have to used affectionate words like -kun, -kyun, and, if you're feeling brave, -sama!" he made cute faces while saying each suffix. Haru took note.
"Compliment them too! A man likes too feel awesome and buff!" Gokudera made a dramatic pose.
"Got it?" looking at Haru, whose clevage was still showing.
"Got it!" she smiled.
"Ok, go get em!" Gokudera closed his eyes and pointed to another random victim.
Dino...
Dino was practicing his whip skills alone, he wanted to see if he could improve his fighting skills without being around Romario.
"Dino-kun!" he turned his head.
"Haru-san! Ohaiyo!" Dino greeted said girl with a smile.
-wait... she called me -kun? Are we really that close?
"That was really cool Dino-kun! The way you handled your whip without being around your subordinates!" She smiled sweetly.
"Well- I practice!" he rubbed his neck bashfully.
"Hehe! You're getting better everyday! Say- your whip looks pretty heavy, can I see how heavy it is?" she extended her hand to recieve said weapon.
"Sure!" he gave her his whip, only to have it returned the next second.
"Hahi- that is heavy!" Haru tried to make a hurt face.
"Oh it's not that heav-" she touched his arm.
"Dino-kun must be really strong!" now squeezing his muscles.
"Eh?"
"Can Dino-kun show me his skills with the whip?" she said smiling.
"H-Huh? Uh s-sure!" the bucking horse, could not contain his embaressment.
He flung his whip around in all directions. SNAP! SNAP! It was really a sight to see, until...
-the whip accidentally hit Haru.
"OW!" it really hurt.
"OH NO! I'M SORRY HARU-SAN!" he tried to frantically apologize. She was in pain, so she thought, maybe, now's the time to be brave.
"Oww... Dino-sama... you whipped me too hard!" she whined rubbing her backside, yet again, not fully understanding what those words meant.
Wha...?
"Dino-sama... it really hurts... " but she never the less looked him in the eye.
Ummm... Dino's eyes wide like saucers.
"-but that was a really good performance..." she smiled.
Too bad Dino fainted before he could see it.
Behind the sakura tree, Gokudera was practically ripping out his own hair.
"Haru! You! Stupid! Little! Ugh!" he wondered how someone could be as stupid as her.
"What! I did what you said! I didn't act too sexy! I just complimented Dino, and then he fainted!" crossing her arms on the picnic bench.
"What did you say exactly?" he encircled his ear with his hand.
"I said that- he whipped me too hard, and it hurt. But I then complimented his performance!" Haru still didn't understand what was wrong with that sentence.
Wiping his nose with a tissue-
"Ughh... ok... last lesson on the art of flirting..." he held up three fingers.
"If a guy asks you a question- how would you answer?" Gokudera asked while writing on the board.
"Umm... truthfully?"
"WRONG!" hell yelled pointing an accusing finger.
"Your answer will be what he wants to hear!"
"Wha?" confuzed again.
"If he asks, do you like gorey movies- your answer will be, I love them!" fire burnt in his eyes.
"But, I don't like gorey-" she was interrupted mid speech.
"If he asks, do you think I'm good looking- you answer, I think you're smokin hot!"
"But..."
"Got it?"
"..."
"Good... now knock Hibari dead!"
He pointed to the next herbivorious victim.
This is not going to end well...
Hibari was blissfully sleeping under a tree, but when he finally woke up, he woke up next to Haru. Who was staring at him, with her big, hahi eyes.
Holy shit... he would never admit it to anyone, but this sudden surprize really did scared the shit outta him.
"You're crowding around..." he muttered in an evil, evil tone...
Haru was a person who didn't know Hibari very well, and had never seen him in a fight, so she wasn't scared much. She really was a stupid woman.
"..." she just stared at him, waiting for him to ask a question. If the question was 'why are you here'- her answer would be 'i wanted to be with you' or if the question was-
"Do you want me to bite you to death?" evil aurora surrounded him.
Ok... she had no idea how to answer this one... she can't answer truthfully and say 'no', or else she would never master the art of flirting. However, her answer came out as-
"Yes please Hibari... but... don't bite me to hard, ok?" Haru then bit her own thumb.
Well... this was unexpected...
And Hibari joined the rest.
Behind the sakura tree, Gokudera wondered how Haru managed to do the impossible.
"YOU FAIL!" Gokudera yelled.
"YOU FAIL LESSON 1, 2 AND 3!" this fact made Haru very sad.
"..."
"AT THIS RATE, YOU'LL NEVER BE CAPABLE OF FLIRTING WITH JUUDAIME!" Haru was on the verge of tears.
"Just as I thought, you can't flirt..." but that statement made her wipe away her tears.
She tried her hardest to learn, she really did. She did everything he asked, she unbuttoned her shirt, she complimented, she even answered the most impossble question ever! But that statement- she was going to show him what she was made of.
"So... I can't flirt now... can't I?" she slowy walked towards him.
This got his full attention. She undid a fourth button, a fifth, and Gokudera found it impossible to look away.
"Tell me, how does this genius know what I'm capable of doing?" he was backed against the tree.
"Uhhhh..." how much he regretted his previous words, but being Gokudera, he retorted.
"It's true, though just admit it, you're s-stupid!" he began stuttering as soon as she pressed her chest against his.
"Well... all I know is... I'm stupid in love with you..." she smiled her practiced smile.
"I love your strong arms-" she smoothed her palms over his arms.
"I love your silky silver hair-" her palms now tangled on the back of his head, undoing his pony tail.
"I love it, when you breathe my name..." her face now scarily close to his.
"What are you doing?" Gokudera's voice shaky, as his heart beat like a loud drum.
"I'm flirting with you."
And that is how Haru mastered the art of flirting.
the end
writers notes; TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL coz every1 luvs cliff hangers
so... i made haru flirt with... 4 guys... haru u whor- JOKING!
lol dont u hate it when in movies or games they say "i need you" and ur like "awww" but then they add in "-to do me a favour" then i feel MEGA TROLLED. *cough kingdom hearts 358/2 days cough*
but yeah... not one of my best works, as it was out of my comfort zone ^^
i really needed to write this one out, either that, or i take that story to the grave...
this story was toooooo looooonnnnnggggg
not much romance, but i figured those who ship haru x anyone might like the fic... tho... GOKUHARU 4 DA WIN!
dino x haru? WTF? 0.O
if you hate it and want me to piss off from ff coz im a fail at a writer, please tell me...
but yeah... i hate mary-sues... and this one had bloodly mary written all over it...
p.s srry 2 all the guys out there (if there r any) 4 being very sterotypical- (ya noe... about the clevage thing...)
fuck! i have another one shot in mind! noooo! must. take. a. break.
IM A FAIL AT LIFE, COZ I HAVE NO LIFE!
i can't flirt 4 shit...
oliviaotakusama101 luvs u all.
OMAKE
Yamamoto's, Dino's and Hibari's funeral were held the next day.
There was a crowd of a hundred or so, most of these, Dino's men. But all of a sudden-
Hibari rose from the dead-
"don't crowd around my grave.."
Yamamoto rose from the dead, but couldn't move as his brain was in a tree- *
And Dino was still dead.
*watch khr monster tamer tsuna.