A/N: I have nothing to say. Just read and enjoy! Don't forget to review, fave or follow if you like! I would totally love to hear (read) your insights!
-'":;!?,.
I am not an open person, as everyone sees in me. My brothers, sensei and our human friends- I do even have a secret to hide. Sometimes, or as often, I keep my feelings to myself, and share it to no one but me. Not that I am being selfish, but I just don't want my family to be hurt. It would rather be me to carry my burden. I have a mix of sadness, envy, anger and hatred; all inside of me that I couldn't release. If I try to let some of it, I won't forgive myself.
Why am I writing this anyway? I asked my self. Maybe it's time to give some of my feelings a way out of me. A little space for me to breathe.
It's been almost four months since we stayed here in April's farmhouse. The house is pretty decent, enough to shelter the six of us, an ice cream kitty, and a genius chicken. We have supplies of food for the every day that comes. And this is, so far, the safest place for us to stay. Mutant weeds, frogs and beavers, cross those to the list of safe stuffs.
Three months of darkness; the longest time I ever had to left my brothers. I couldn't even imagine them being alone without me and sensei. Was that hit very much for me to handle? Shredder. His name creates a twist inside my gut. How did he...defeated sensei? Master Splinter is a lot better than him. Not if he thought I was gone. Not if Shredder told that I was gone, then sensei must have been...affected by that.
Everyday, I pray for sensei's safety at New York. I never thought of him, being gone. He's a ninja master and he will survive.
We have left New York in the hands of the Kraang and the Foot Clan. The city is a disaster, I can imagine. My brothers still did not tell me the whole story of the Kraang's invasion. But I overheard that April's dad is mutated once more. How about the others? The people living in the city. Karai. What happened to her? Is she alright?
I remembered the night she was mutated. It was...a very painful sight to see. I heard her scream. She was screaming for her life. She was...asking for some help. But before that happened, she had a chance to say the sweetest thanks to me... Her smile was the brightest I had ever seen. But still, I failed. I failed to save her.
Am I really a failure to my family? Do I even deserve to be the leader? I had failed them this time. And I will never let that happen again. Even of it is the last thing I do. I have to be their big brother. And a big brother will do whatever it takes to get his little brothers to safety. I promise that to myself. And to my family. I will do the role of Fearless Leader, even if it kills me.
This journal is really helpful, thanks to April. She gave it to me yesterday, when she saw me writing a short story about the city on a scratch paper. I really love writing and I do even have a notebook inside my room at the burned lair, with all of my poems and stories. I think it turned into ash when the lair was destroyed, together with my sketch pad. Aww. It hurts when I remember it. All of my very important possessions are there, especially Karai's tanto. Did I say it aloud?
It's time to start a new. Time to wake up from this nightmare. Time to face the new days of our precious lives. I need to be strong for my family and we need to claim our city. We need to save people and the other innocents. Sensei. Karai.
"Leeeo! It's lunch time! We're going to eat all of these goodies if you won't get out of your room! In ten...nine." "I'm coming, Mikey! Wait a second!"
Mikey's calling me to eat, I gotta go and stop at this part. It is also my turn to wash the dishes. See ya!