A/N: Was listening to Adele and for the hundreth time thought that Someone Like You would be a perfect song to base a Johnlock fic on, so here it is. This fic is not related to my other Sherlock fics.
Summary: AU. Sherlock comes back after 6 years of absence to a John who's married and has a kid.
Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue is from the lyrics of Adele's Someone Like You, which I do not own. I also don't own Sherlock.
Sometimes it lasts in love
A dark tall figure watched a small roughly five-year-old girl playing in the yard of a small, but cosy-looking house. The girl had blond hair and blue eyes – the very eyes that the man had missed so much in his absence.
It had been six years since he had last been in London. Six years since he had last seen his best friend and flatmate at the time, and in the worst possible way.
He had missed him. Every day, every hour, every minute. But he had had to keep away to ensure John's safety for as long as it was necessary. He hadn't counted on it being so long.
He had changed.
He was sure that John had changed too, but he himself had changed so much that he felt like he didn't know who he once had been, anymore. Who he had been, when he still had John.
But now he had blood in his hands.
Way too much blood and he was afraid that John would reject him. The fear of rejection had always been his biggest weakness and even when he had had John he had always in the back of his mind waited for the moment that he too left him, just like everybody else. Only this time it had been the other way around and he wasn't sure if John would ever forgive him.
It was foolish to even consider it. He knew that. But still he hadn't been able to stop himself from seeking John out, hoping that somehow they would be okay.
But of course he should have expected something like this, he thought as he gazed at the little girl.
Idiot.
This was John. John and his many girlfriends. It was obvious that in six years' time, without him, John would end up with a wife and kids, just like he had always hoped to. Still the knowledge felt like a knife pushing into his chest and he felt like it was difficult to breathe.
He shouldn't have come. This was one of his stupidest ideas. Clearly John had moved on.
He wouldn't need him anymore. He was better off.
He turned away.
Suddenly a soft voice called out his name in a tone difficult to interpret. It was fearful, yet hopeful – maybe resigned, but not angry. And suddenly he didn't know what he would be up against if he found it in him to turn around.
"Sherlock?"
John hummed as he busied himself around the kitchen until suddenly a shiver ran down his spine and he felt the urge to look out of the window. He gazed at the yard his eyes immediately spotting his five-year-old daughter playing with her toys. Only there was someone else in there too, just outside the house, watching his daughter.
An alarm went off in his head and he quickly exited the house his posture guarded. It was the beginning of dusk in late fall when the days grew darker, so his presence was mostly covered by the shadows. Still not even darkness was able to stop John from recognizing the posture of the tall man even if the hair wasn't as long and curly as he remembered.
His heart skipped a beat.
Sherlock.
Six years had gone by since he had last seen him, lying in a pool of blood just outside the Bart's hospital. Try as he might John had never been able to erase that image from his mind, even after he figured out what Sherlock had done and why he had done it.
It had taken time for him to forgive Sherlock and for the nightmares to disappear. But he had forgiven him even though he had felt hurt. His anger had long faded and for a long time he just wanted Sherlock to come back. He knew that someday he would if he was still alive as there was no Sherlock without London and no London without Sherlock.
Only he hadn't anticipated it taking this long.
But never had he given up hope. Even after he married, John had always upheld that tiny bit of hope of Sherlock returning and that everything would be like it once was.
A fool's hope.
He knew that even if Sherlock did come back they could not go back to the way they were before. They were too changed and things were different now. John was married and had a daughter and Sherlock had gone through god-knows-what during his absence.
Still John held out the hope that he would at least once see him again. To make sure he was alive. That's all he needed.
And now here he was. Standing just outside John's small home looking hesitant, fearful and in pain? Everything that the Sherlock John had known wasn't.
Suddenly the dark figure turned away and John found himself panicking. He couldn't leave now, not without meeting John. John had to see him close, to talk to him so that he would know for sure that he was real and not a figment of his imagination.
"Sherlock?" He asked softly walking towards the man, who ever so slowly turned around to face him.
"Hello John."
The two men stared at each other taking in the changes the years had left in both of them. They both looked older, with more wrinkles and worry lines. Sherlock was even thinner than he remembered and looked weary. John wished he could take away part of the burden he seemed to be carrying but knew that it wasn't his to take. Not anymore.
It seemed like neither would or wanted to break the silence around them, not knowing what to say. It was however broken by a small high-pitched voice.
"Daddy!"
John broke his eye contact with Sherlock and turned to see his daughter running towards them.
"Hey, Princess, why don't you get inside and wake Mummy up it's nearly time for dinner. Daddy's gonna come in in a few minutes." He said and the girl nodded and ran off after a curious look towards Sherlock.
John turned to look at Sherlock.
"You're not surprised to see me." Sherlock finally said and John smiled fondly.
"Contrary to what you always thought, I'm not an idiot, Sherlock. I admit I didn't get it for the first few months – shock does that to you – but I am a doctor and thinking back, the whole thing went off a bit too perfectly; too many medical personnel around you too quickly for one."
"So you knew."
"I knew."
"You don't sound angry." Sherlock stated slightly apprehensively.
"It was six years ago Sherlock." John looked at him pointedly. "I have had time to process this. I know what you did and why you did it, even if I don't necessarily agree with the method. But I know you Sherlock, or at least I knew, and you only had few people important to you in your life and what you did was to protect them – to protect us. I can't be angry for you for that. I only hoped that you had shared all this with me and maybe you hadn't had to do it alone."
"I couldn't make you leave everything behind." Sherlock said. "You had friends and family, you'd have had to lie to them. I couldn't make you do that and leave everything behind just so I could have you with me."
"Everything behind? You were my everything, Sherlock!" John said exasperatedly. "Without you I was a crippled army doctor no longer fit to do his job. You gave me purpose Sherlock – a will to live. You don't know how close I was to just swallowing my Browning before I met you."
"Don't say that." Sherlock snapped his face having paled slightly. "Don't ever say that."
John rubbed his face in his hand and took a deep breath, letting the air exhale out in a sigh.
"Why are you here, Sherlock? Why did you come to see me?"
"I don't know." Sherlock mumbled looking away.
"Sherlock." John said in his 'I know you're lying to me, Sherlock' voice.
Sherlock felt even more idiotic by his foolish hopes of reuniting with John, but knew that the quicker he told him the quicker he could leave and then it all came out in a rush:
"I heard from Mycroft that you're settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now. I heard that your dreams came true" He continued. "Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you." Sherlock mumbled with a sigh, still not looking at John, his face hidden by a shadow.
John's heart skipped as beat as Sherlock spoke, his mind imagining for a second what they could have been if things were different. He pushed the image away feeling sad that they were now so distant form each other that Sherlock couldn't even look at him.
"Old friend, why are you so shy? It's not like you to hold back or hide from the light." He said turning Sherlock's head to face him.
"I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it." Sherlock continued. "I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over." He looked at John intensely for a second before shaking his head as if to clear his head and then drew back John's hand falling off his face.
"Nothing compares, John, no worries or cares, regrets and mistakes, they're memories made." Sherlock said painful smile appearing on his face. "Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
"But never mind, I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, John." He said attempting to sound sincere. They both knew however, that Sherlock would never be able to replace John.
"Just…Don't forget me." Sherlock said coming back closer to John and there was only a few inches separating them. "I remember you said: Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."
"Sherlock."
"Forgive me John, but I need to know what it's like. I don't want to wonder. Just think of it as another one of my experiments. One last experiment." He whispered with a slight reminiscent smile before closing the gap between them and kissing John full on the lips. It wasn't a long kiss, but it wasn't only a peck either. And somewhere deep within the locked folds of his heart John admitted that it was the best kiss of his entire life.
Only in reality, they weren't to be.
"Thank you John, for everything." Sherlock whispered before walking away from him, leaving John dazed, looking at his withdrawing back with tears running down his cheeks – tears of regret, love and heartbreak.
"I could never forget you Sherlock."
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think. Next chapter will be up tomorrow!
- Dalnim