The Pilgrimage of Briefers Rock

We did it! Panty and Stocking defeated Corset and the city is saved from demons, at least for another day. We walk together back towards the church with me trying to protect my modesty with my makeshift loincloth, although at this point I guess everyone here has seem little Rock, Panty especially. Thinking about it still gets me red in the face. To think that just an hour ago me and Panty were.. Agh! I stop that train of thought there no room to hide a boner in my current attire. To keep my mind off this topic I decide to ask more about this Hell's monkey business because it was never actually explained to me. As usual Panty and Stocking are arguing behind us so that just leaves Garter to ask as were nearing the church.

"So Garter, I'm this Hell's monkey thing right? What exactly does that mean? Am I a demon or something?"

He looks at me about to laugh, "Demon? You? HAHAHAHA!" Well he didn't have to laugh. "But in all seriousness you aren't any ordinary human being. You may not be a demon but your member is like a lightning rod for demonic and ghostly energies, when fully erect your power should increase dramatically, while you can be used to open hell gates your power was actually created by god to be a vanquisher of devils and evil."

I look up with hope, "You mean I can hunt ghosts with this? I can use it to fight with Panty and Stocking?" Maybe I can finally earn some respect from them!

Panty snorts behind me, "Yeah right Geek breath, your schlong may be a decent lay but no way it can keep up with black lace and me" she says holding up her own underwear/gun. "Right Stocking?"

Stocking's face looks solemn as if contemplating, "Hey Panty?

"Yeah?"

"You know how our heavenly weapons kill ghosts and shit but don't work on people like at all."

"Yeah?"

"I wonder what they do to Angels?"

Panty scoffs, "Fuck if I know, I mean you would have to try it to see-"

I hear a nose, Garter and I turn around and look in horror to see Stocking's blade sticking out of Panties face. Completely immobilized by disbelief I watch as Stocking dislodges the blade and systematically slices and dices her sister into little pieces. The lack of blood only makes the situation seem even more surreal. This can't be happening. Any second I'm going to wake up from this nightmare.

Garter is the first to recover, "That was not according to plan!" His face clenches in a pained expression. "OH MAH GOOOOD!" He just explodes, the force of the blast almost knocks me over. It's like I'm watching a replay of his fight with Corset! This CANNOT be happening! Is this a dream? Nightmare?

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my penis, I can't even describe how excruciating it feels, I let out a scream and watch as my dong transforms into the gate key and part of it actually flies off of me landing next to stocking before my little friend returns to it's normal size and color.

The extra piece forms into a face, a familiar face, wait a second, Corset! His high-pitched voice penetrates my ears as he cackles maniacally, "HAHAHA! She's been cut into exactly six hundred and sixty six pieces that's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard!"

This is too much, I went from being happy with my friends to watching two of them die in front of me. Exasperated I fall on my ass. "Stocking, why?"

I've faced worse treatment at the hands of the Anarchy sisters than ever before in my entire life, probably worse that most people. Yet the look on her face is the cruelest most contempt filled gaze that I've ever had the misfortune to make eye contact with. Eye contact with her makes me feel worthless and insignificant. "I'm sorry." I doubt that, "But Surprise I'm actually a demon." That's impossible! Right?

Corset pipes in before I can question her further, "So here's the deal, were gonna have a super fun scavenger hunt. I'm going to take all the Panty pieces and leave a trail for you to follow. Once you've gathered them all you'll be at the next closest hell's gate and when you open it for me I will restore your precious Panty!" In shock I watch as Stoking picks him up and flies into the distance dropping pieces of the love of my life every so often. I thought this was over? I feel hot tears roll down my face as I pick up the first Panty piece in front of me. "I promise, I will save you."

There's commotion behind me and I turn around to see Garter's pieces reassemble themselves back into a familiar shape, "DOOOOG HAM HO!"

"Garter you're alive!" Thank god I'm not alone in this. "What are we going to do?"

"Sorry Brief but I can't do anything about this. You can." What? "Why don't you ask them." Who? From the corner of my eye I see red I turn to see Scanty and Knee socks walking towards us looking ragged at best. At this point I'm barely surprised. "Mind telling us why you're here demon whores?"

Scanty speaks for them both, the burn from Pink Bow is still slightly visible on her face, "Open your ears and listen with your utmost attention as we have neither the time nor patience to allow for circumlocution. I'll cut this shorter than one of your Gonorrhea infested girlfriend's skirts, Corset Double Crossed us." The look on her face is scarier that the one stocking used earlier, bearing down at me with the full force of a demon's rage. "What he did wasn't in our agreement and we will not stand for such a violent and egregious error on his part."

Knee socks facial expression mirrors her sisters. "In short, he broke the rules. We'll help you collect the bite sized pieces of your little toilet angel, if at the end of this you promise to slay Corset."

Slay Corset? Me? "I'm definitely not a fan of the guy but I've never even killed a ghost how am I supposed to kill a demon? Especially with Stocking there?"

Garter chooses now to chime in, "That was before you knew you were the hell's monkey boy! As much as I hate to admit it working with these demons is the best chance we have. I suggest you accept their help and use your journey to learn how to fight. I have a feeling that your journey will be a lot harder than Corset made it sound.

I finally get up off the ground and look at the demon sisters at eye level. "I really don't have a choice do I?"

Knee socks smiles with what I think is… pity? "Apologies Briefers but our offer is at most a formality, as soon as the angel was minced your options have become, shall we say seldom. You could always refuse our offer and make the journey alone with your bi pedal rodent pet." I look down at Chuck stroking his zipper in a puddle of his own drool. "But your chances of survival and success decrease approaching a zero asymptote reaching infinitely closer to zero the farther we calculate."

Garter holds his hand out to the path before us, "I'll handle things here, "GO BRIEF! Follow the Panty path!"

I sigh. I think I liked the illusion of choice. "Alright then. We don't have anytime to lose." All of the talking done Scanty, Knee socks, Chuck and I set off." I will save you Panty!

And thus began the Pilgrimage of Briefers Rock.