The Really Big Knight
"None shall pass!" The huge knight yelled. He stood on a thin bridge over a raging river of lava. I stood on the southern end, hoping to go north into the Land of Apathetic People, to find my true love who really didn't care about me.
"Look Sir Really Big," I said, "I just want to-"
"None shall pass!"
I sat there for a moment, trying to think of something. I looked up and down the river, hoping to find another bridge. I tried to bribe him with a banana, but he simply screamed and swung his sword wildly. The blade came inches from my face, after which I decided I wouldn't go near him again. I stood and stared at him for a moment. He stared back. "Look, a distraction!" I yelled. He just kept staring.
"Fine! Well I'm not going to sit here anymore! I'm coming across this bridge, and if you've got a problem with that, you can, uh… decapitate me!"
I grabbed my sword and charged at him. He raised his sword, preparing to sever my neck. I reached him and kept running. Then the Earth exploded.