Author: alastria7

Title: Things to Say

Characters: Ronan and Elizabeth

Rating: K

Genre: General

Language: English

Summary: Sometimes, it's the right time to tell others what's on your mind.

Things to Say

"Ronan?" Elizabeth stared at the man whose sounds of movement in the doorway of her office had caught her attention and caused her to look up.

Awkwardly, he stared back at her. "Doc?"

She frowned and turned her expression into a questioning smile as she leaned back in her chair, in an attitude of acceptance and welcome. She clasped her arms in front of her. "Something I can do for you?"

He looked apologetic. "Is it too late? Because if it is I can..."

She smiled. "You're not leaving. Not now you have me this intrigued." Her eyes narrowed as she invited, "Come on in."

He looked around behind him (only the skeleton night-shift sat out in the main area; most of the day shift were tucked up and snoring by now) and then he ambled into the room, taking a seat. Splaying his legs out wide, he leaned forward and rested an elbow on each knee, taking his time to look up at her. "Been thinking," he said shyly. "I don't really know who you are."

That took her aback; she hadn't expected it. "What do you mean?" She hoped her face didn't betray her surprise.

"On Sateda, I knew my superior officer." He paused. "I told Teyla once, I don't know how you think. I guess it's gotten around to bothering me."

"That you don't know how I think?"

"Uh huh."

"Tell me, how would it change any order I gave you, if you knew how I thought? I'm curious."

He smiled appealingly, ignoring the question. "Didn't like you, you know... when I first got here?" He saw her nod and continued, "But you're alright."

He'd gone silent on her and she had no idea where to take this strange and unexpected conversation next. Floundering somewhat she went for silence as she stared at him, waiting for more.

"I wanted you to know that."

"Well," she grinned, "thank you." And then her expression changed as she said seriously, "I'm thinking you don't tell many people that?"

"No." He looked trapped.

"Look," she said, rising out her chair and working her way around the front of the desk, perching on it, her hands clasped in what would have been her lap, had she been sitting properly. "As nice and refreshing as this is... I've learned that if someone acts out of character, then there's usually something... with respect, what's behind this, Ronan?"

"I lost a friend today," he said simply, his honest pain almost cutting her as he stared openly.

"Ah." She looked down, instantly reminded of Tommy John Jansen – a good man – cut down by enemy crossfire in the morning of this long day. She could see Tommy's face, open, jovial, kind. It was such a waste. About a half an hour ago, she'd been wording the message she would send to his family tomorrow.

Ronan realized her sadness and continued, "We shouldn't wait to tell people what we think about them. I learned that from Sateda being totaled. But I guess, just lately, I forgot it again.

She raised her eyes to his.

"So I'm here to tell you, you're OK. Probably wouldn't have done, if Tommy..."

She understood completely as she took a breath and pursed her lips as she exhaled. "Well, OK then. And while we're at it?" She gave him the vaguest of smiles, tilting her head slightly. "You're OK too."

Now it was Ronan who got what he didn't expect. "I am?" he asked, obviously surprised.

She continued, "I don't suppose I liked you much, at first, either. Well, it was more that I didn't know you, really; probably didn't trust you. Hadn't learned to trust you yet."

"I hear you."

She folded her arms. "This huge guy," she reminisced, "with a weapon that could put a hole through hell itself, if he had to? And you could fight? You were one hell of a security risk, you know that?"

He smiled. "I can imagine," he readily agreed, before risking, "And what about now?"

"Now?" It was a no-brainer. "Now I don't suppose I'd want to be off-world without you on the team." She looked beyond him, through her glass-sided office and out into the main area. "And Atlantis feels safer for you being around." She knew they weren't just words. She knew she meant them. "These days," she concluded, resting her eyes on his once more, "and for a long time now, I trust you completely."

"Wow." His grin was utterly charming, and just a little embarrassed.

After a pause she asked him, smiling, "Do you know me any better now?"

"Nope," he said, grinning, rising from his chair and heading for the door. "'Night."

And as he walked off, Elizabeth went back to her seat and sat there for long minutes, smiling lazily. The Big Man had come to say what he'd come to say, and then gone. And that was Ronan - a man of few words, but intense loyalty, if you earned his trust. And she considered that she and Atlantis had managed that rather well.

Finally she nudged him out of her thinking and returned her focus back to the work she'd chosen to do before going to bed. But, as she made a start, she got a visual of Ronan Dex, as a giant wild bear, dropping by to say 'thank you' for the earlier removal of a thorn from his paw.

It was a nice surprise.

It felt good.

Tomorrow, she decided, she would tell a few home truths to a few other folk around here – make them feel good, by telling them what they meant to her, in their various ways. It couldn't hurt.

But right now she needed to finish her work.

End

alastria7