A/N:Idea from the song "Do You Wish It Was Me" by Jason Aldean. I'm not to fond of this story. I liked the idea, but I don't like how I wrote the character very much. It's written from Blaise's POV and includes lots of Ron bashing.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the things that seem familiar to you about Harry Potter. I also don't happen to own the lyrics inserted in italic towards the end.
Do You Wish It Was Me?
I'm up again to watch the sunrise. It's basically become a routine the past year. And I hate to admit it, but with watching the sunrise becoming routine, so have thoughts of her. I haven't seen her since the day she left. Funny really, before we were together we ran into each other everywhere. We liked all the same places: bookstores, restaurants, clothing stores, clubs, you name it and it was a common interest point for us. Now though, a year to the day after she left me, also marks a year to the day since I've seen her.
I drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day. After sitting down for breakfast I open today's copy of the Daily Prophet. Upon reading the headline I promptly spit my pumpkin juice all over it; it's a real heart breaker.
Ronald Weasley, beloved Auror, announces his engagement to Hermione Jane Granger.
I wonder if she's really that happy with him. I wonder if right at this moment as she's waking up, she's happy with whom she's next to in bed. Is he really what she wanted? Does he make her feel the way I did? I highly doubt Ron Weasley, idiotic Gryffindor sidekick, is any match for me. I'm a bloody Slytherin! I'm plenty times better then him. I should be where he is. I should be lying there with her warm body wrapped in my arms. Merlin, do I ever miss it. I wonder if she wishes it were me.
I begin to think back to various times in our realtionship. I remember her taking me home to meet her parents. Muggles are quite interesting really. Who would have thought? Strange though, her mum kept talking about my teeth. Apparently they're perfect. They were nice as far as meeting the new boyfriend goes I guess. Her dad worked on the "intimidation" factor for a while, and though it didn't work, I let him think it did.
I remember her taking me to meet the Weasleys. They're her second family she said; I needed to properly meet them. They didn't take too kindly to me. I guess it was because the stupid Weasel King was who they wanted her to be with. Though for her credit, Ginny was supportive of me. We got to know each other a bit in school. She was dreadful at potions and yours truly, being the overall genius I am, was forced to tutor her.
I was nice to the whole damn Weasley clan for her. I would have loved to only need to talk to Ginny, but she made me talk to every bloody one of them. It's not like they're a small lot. For her though, I was civil. I didn't insult anyone or make any reference to the obvious lack of wealth. I even complimented them! Me! Blaise Zabini, Slytherin, complimented a family full of Weasley's, all Gryffindor. I was even nice to Harry Potter!
Weasel wouldn't do that for her. He wasn't nice to me before when she wanted him to be and he wouldn't be now. I'm positive if she were to introduce him to any of the friends she made while she was with me (namely my friends and acquaintances) he'd be a complete git.
She must regret leaving, what we could have been, should have been, was too great. We were on a good track. I did anything I could to make her happy. Why would she leave me for the dirt poor Weasel? He doesn't treat her even close to as well as I did. I treated her like a bloody princess. And where my treatment would only get better, I'm sure his will decline in the years to come. He'll start to assume she knows what he feels and there's no need to show it. Even if she does, she still deserves the best. I'd give her the best until I die if I could.
I tried to talk her out of leaving. We were just so right together. Everything was exciting. Even if we did the same thing over for the fiftieth time in a row, it felt new. Apparently that wasn't worth staying for. I suppose she doesn't like the excitement. She must like sitting around in a dull flat, with a dull boyfriend.
So she chose him. She went for the safe choice, the one that would let her live securely. She said she spent a lot of time thinking about it and that's what she thought was the best decision. I have no idea how she could have come to that ridiculous conclusion. I was safe. I was secure. I loved her and I still do. And I know she loved me too.
So I'd like to know how I didn't fit what she was looking for. I have loads of money; enough to be financally stable for three bloody life times with out a need for work. I never had any intention of leaving her; I would have asked her to marry me if she just waited a little longer. I was just trying to work out a plan that would sweep her off her feet. No, I'm not good enough for her though. Forget the stupid dust covered ring box in my dresser; forget me.
What about all the things we were going to do? The trips we planned to take? The sights we wanted to see? So many things we dreamed to do together, with every intention of actually doing them. And she just gives them all up. She'll never be able to do any of that with the Weasel. He'd have to sell half his things to afford even one trip we wanted to take.
She gave up so much for that bloody Weasel. We shared an endless passion, not just in the sexual sense either. For books, travel, adventure, dancing, we had passion in everything we did together. We could have passion for the stupidest things imaginable. It came from doing the things together. I wonder now that she has her "secure" life, if she wishes it were me.
I mean come on! Is she seriously going to marry him? I hope she ditches him at the ceremony. Then she can run back to me, where I'd accept her with open arms. I'm pathetic like that. I can't get over the girl. It just further proves my theory that she's meant for me, not him. She can't have anything with him like she did with me. I bet she still thinks of me. I don't need to wonder. How could she not? We had too many unforgetable times.
I bet you when she's picking her wedding flowers, she'll think of the various Lilies I randomly bought her. When she's trying on dresses, she'll think of the numerous times I took her shopping for evening gowns, just to immediately whisk her to an expensive restaurant. When she's writing a guest list, she'll think of all my friends she'd like to invite and how she can't because Weasel won't let her invite them, afraid they'd bring me along. When she's picking the cake, she'll think of several messy afternoons in the kitchen, teaching me how to bake. And when she's picking what will be their song, she'll do anything not to think of our song.
Yes, I bet she thinks of me. It's too hard not too. Still, I wish I knew. I guess there's only one way to find out. I quickly grab a sheet of parchment and a quill from my study and begin to write.
Is the life that you've chosen free from regret? Or is what might've been just too hard to forget? Has the glitter all faded? Do you get what you need? Are you satisfied baby? Or do you wish it was me?
I fold the letter and give it to my owl with strict instructions not to release it to anyone except Hermione. Of course, my owl is just another reminder of her, we bought her together and I let her pick a name. She picked Anastasia, said it was after a Muggle kid's movie she loved when growing up. Well won't she be surprised to see Anastasia today.
One year and one day ago, I was the happiest man alive. When can I be that bloody guy again?
A/N:I'd like to write a sequel to this, but I'm not sure if I want it to be all "lovey dovey" where she comes back. Or some sad piece where even though she wants to, she can't go back for various reasons. Or a sad piece where she simply liked Ron better. I can see them each working in my head. If you have a preference please let me know.