Why do I even bother anymore? I kinda feel like my Jacob Black rant may have made people hate me, but that's just how I feel. Yes, he's a fictional character, but he just makes me so friggin MAD!!

I'm really looking forward to this story, because I've been thinking about this for the longest time. It didn't even start out as a scary idea. It was humorous. I'll explain later. Anyway, please read and review...please...I beg of you...

Bella Swan felt numb. She was standing in the wooded area just behind her house and staring up at her god, and her one true love Edward Cullen. Normally, this would be a cause for happiness, but not this time, not this night.

Edward's black eyes were distant and his expression was blank and devoid of any human emotion. That wasn't a surprise, because he was a vampire. But he was usually happy being with Bella.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked in a small, scared voice, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

"I don't think this will work anymore." Edward said flatly.

"You...you don't want me?"

Edward smiled grimly. "I'm sorry that I led you on. But I have to stop pretending now...besides, you'll be better without me. You can live."

"I am alive!" Bella stated, her voice choked, "see? I'm very alive! You don't have to go.!"

Edward looked up at her, his eyes betraying the briefest flicker of sorrow. But that was quickly replaced with annoyance.

"That's pathetic." he said, before turning on his heel and speeding out of the woods.

Bella stood there for a minute, her whole body shaking with surpressed sobs. She looked around, as though trying to find something that would bring Edward back. But, as the seconds ticked by, she realized that he was gone, and that he didn't love her anymore.

Still not allowing any tears to flow, Bella walked in a dream-like state through the trees, in the opposite direction of her house. She wanted to escape. Find somewhere where there was no more hurt in the world.

It was getting darker now, but she didn't care. Maybe the darkness would engulf her and she'd be worse than dead, away from any human emotion and pain.

She tripped over a rock and fell to the dirt, not bothering to get up again. She just lay there, blankly gazing at the other forest floor naturals that she could see.

How she envied the rocks. They were hard. and had so much protection that nothing pushed them over or made them weak. She wanted to be a rock, a fortress of un-emotion and solitude.

I'm a rock, I'm a rock, I'm a rock. She repested this mantra over and over in her mind, allowing herself to become part of the stone of unfeeling and distance. She didn't even hear the men shouting and calling for her.

One of them came over and helped her up. He said something to her that she didn't hear from her far away place. The man muttered something to his friends and then helped her back through the woods and too her house.

"Bella!" Charlie called in concern. He ran down to meet Bella and the men. "Bella!! Can you hear me? Are you alright?" She only stared blankly into his eyes, not answering. More muttering.

The men led Bella back inside of the house, where she simply stood in the kitchen, not taking in a word of their conversation. After a few minutes, the men left and Charlie steered Bella to a chair at the table.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice anxious. "Bella? Bella!!" She still didn't answer, but gazed intently at the table, making up stupid little patterns in her mind. "Bella, please," Charlie said more softly, "what's wrong?" His pleading tone seemed to reach her. She looked up, her eyes still empty and devoid of anything at all. No emotion, no life...nothing.

"I'm tired." she said hoarsley, before moving up in one graceful movement and walking to her room, staring straight ahead. She flopped down on her bed and stared into the pillows.

Pillows were soft, easily wounded, and thinly layered. They let everything in. But not rocks. That was why rocks were better than pillows. Bella took a deep breath and then turned to her CD player.

Edward's CD! she thought with excitement. Maybe there was a way to be with him after all. She eagerly pressed play...but nothing happened. Bella blinked and then opened the lid. It was empty.

Her vision clouded, Bella reached for the scrapbook that her mother had given her for her birthday. The pictures she had taken of Edward were gone.

She hadn't cried at all after Edward had left. Now, as the full force of loosing love hit her, Bella curled into a ball, her head in her kness, and sobbed and let the tears fall down her face.

It was all gone.

Everything...

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in large lurches and dragging lulls, but it passes. Even for Bella.

One evening in March, she was at home alone. Charlie had gone out with friends, as was his usual habit now that his daughter was in a weird catatonia. She didn't care. She had lost the ability to care about anything in September. She knew that Charlie wanted to help her, but was afraid to find professionals.

Bella was standing at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes in too hot water and listening to a radio program. She did idle things like that. Even at school, she just went to her classes, did her homework, and ignored her friends. This had a drawback and a plus. The drawback was that her friends quickly abandoned her. The plus was that all her grades had sky rocketed now that she didn't have him around to distract or dazzle her.

She'd stopped. No, she wasn't going to think about it anymore. Not him...She hadn't allowed her mind to take over during the last seven months for fear of thinking about him.

Bella continued the dishes as the song on the radio ended.

"Okay folks," the DJ said in a voice that was too cheerful for any normal person, "we've got a shout out all the way from Tennessee!! Caller what's your name?"

"Emmett Cullen." Bella dropped the frying pan she was transferring to the drying rack. Emmett...his brother. "And I requested this song for anyone who's trying to run away from what they're really feeling."

Bella's heart wrenched at the lyrics of the song:

Earth to Bella

The world can be an unfriendly place

So hold you head up

And do your best to save some face

Earth to Bella

"STOP IT!!" Bella screamed, throwing the frying pan at the radio. The loud crash and sparking that followed seemed to send a bolt of lightning through Bella. She gasped and felt tears well up.

Everything she had been trying to repress for the passed seven months came flooding back to her. Her breathing became rapid and uneven as she looked balefully around the kitchen. She went back to the frying pan, and grasped it in her shaking hands. The attack on the radio had felt good.

Giving a strangled sob, she swung the frying pan at everything she could hit. Glass, china, the wall clock and even the kitchen window. By this time she was sobbing, great heaving sobs that made her lungs scream in pain.

From the living room, she could hear a song playing on the television.

Sparkling angel,

I couldn't see,

Your dark intentions,

your feelings for me.

Fallen angel,

tell me why,

what is the reason,

the thought in your eye.

"Look at what you've done to me Edward." she sobbed, her voice sounding like the scraping of sandpaper against a chalk board.

Bella didn't know how the knife had ended up in her hand. All she knew, was that it was there. She looked down at her right arm where the scars from the stitches were faded and almost gone.

She looked down at her left arm...and brought the tip of the knife just below her rest. Then she dragged it down, making a long cut from wrist to just below her shoulder. As she cut, Bella's breathing became rapid.

She stumbled, feeling suddenly ill, into the living room. The blood dripping freely from her arm made vivid scarlet spots in the carpet and on the furniture. She turned, and nearly fell over and headed to the front door.

"Help." she whispered with a moan, " please." She tried to open the door, but her mind was going blank. With a last great effort, Bella stumbled to the kitcheb, getting blood on the ground. Her fingers trembling and stained with blood, she pulled a dish towel off the rack and covered her bleeding arm.

Then she fell to the cold linoleum floor, and saw only black.

If this was heaven, then it was too loud. Bella heard a steady rythmic beeping from somewhere to her left.

This wasn't heaven. She'd been in a place like this before and knew exactly where she was. She didn't want to open her eyes, because she knew that it would bring her back to the horrible reality.

"Bella?" a pleasant voice asked. Bella's eyes fluttered open.

"Edward?" she asked in a quiet, raspy voice. No...it wasn't Edward...but it was no doubt an angel. He had a handsome face, dirty blonde hair and a kind smile.

His eyes...they were...gold. No, not gold. They were hazel. Bella looked at this man, who couldn't have been a year younger than Carlisle Cullen.

"Who are you?" she asked in the same weak voice.

"My name is Riley Montague." he said, " you're in the West Seatlle General Hospital. You really freaked your dad out." Riley added.

"Is he here?" Bella asked.

"Yes. He's waiting for you, to take you home. You've been out for nearly two days." Bella groaned and leaned back into her pillows. She'd escaped death...again. Why was she being tormented?

Riley edged his chair closer and added, in a somewhat more professional tone, "Bella, can I ask you a question?" Bella only nodded. "Why...why exactly did you try to kill yourself?" he asked.

Bella opened her eyes, and was shocked to find that they were filled with tears. She didn't answer Riley, but just stared at the ceiling.

"I understand." Riley said. He got up. "I have to go talk to your Dad first before anything can be done to move you." Bella nodded and closed her eyes as Riley walked out. She was being stupid in not telling anyone, but then again, nobody had ever been able to understand that what she had with Edward was more than a high school romance.

She loved him deeply.

Bella's heart felt like it had been squeezed tightly by an icey hand. Edward didn't love her anymore. That was why he had left of course.

She opened her eyes, her mind reverting to it's original un-caring frame. She looked down at her arms. Her left one was covered in a white bandage that ran from her wrist to just below her shoulder where she had cut herself. There was no IV running anymore and nobody was there to keep her in the bed.

Slowly, Bella got to her feet, and began to walk, as though in a trance, down the hall of the hospital.

Riley sighed sadly. He'd first seen Bella two days ago, when he'd been called in by the head doctor. Dr. Lancster had tried a few times to get him down to West Seattle to help the patients.

He'd never been inclined and hadn't even been thinking about giving in, when he'd seen Bella. She'd been asleep then, but there was something about her that attracted Riley to her case.

After nearly five years at university, Riley had never seen a more defeated looking person. He wanted to find out more about Bella if she would open up a little bit more.

Charlie was waiting in the food court with Renee. They both looked as though they'd never divorced. Charlie was grasping Renee's hands and Renee was sobbing silently into his shoulder. They both got to their feet as Riley approached and bombarded him with questions.

"Is Bella awake?"

"How is she?"

"What's going to happen?"

Riley held up his hands and Charlie and Renee both quited down.

"Let's get some air." Riley suggested, gesturing to the courtyard. The three of them both walked out of the glass doors and walked slowly around the bright courtyard, which was a perfect square in the middle of the hospital. There were other entrances all around, leading out of the hospital. Above them rose the windows from the halls, rooms, and wards.

"Bella is awake." Riley told them after a few seconds. "But she hasn't told me what's wrong with her. Knowing the docotors at this place, " he gave the surrounding windows a dark look, "they'll want to keep her here until they find out what's wrong with her."

Renee gave a sob and tried to protst, but Riley over spoke her.

"It turns out that it's a good thing that I'm here. I'm going to try and make a connection with her and see if she'll tell me what's wrong. I hope she does it soon, because I really don't want her to spend too long in this place."

There was silence for a few minutes.

"Whatever it takes." Charlie said softly. "Do whatever you need to to get our Bella back."

Riley gave them both a sad smile and then nodded his head.

"I promise that I will do my damndest to get Bella out of here as quick as possible."

Renee sighed and then looked up at the sky. After a few minutes, the silence was cut by a piercing scream. Renee was staring wide eyed at the roof of the hospital.

Riley and Charlie followed her gaze.

"Jesus Christ!" Riley cursed in shock. They could see the figure of Bella, in her hospital pants and shirt, standing close to the edge, the wind whipping her brown hair into her face,

Renee broke down completely and fell into Charlie's arms in a faint. Without a word, Riley ran as fast as he could back through the door, through the food court, up the stairs and through the halls of West Seattle Psychiatric Hospital, praying that he wouldn't be too late to save Bella.

And there we go. Song references, "Earth to Bella," by Incubus, and "Angels," by Within Temptation. Please review. I really want to know what people think of this story, because I love it. I know exactly where it's going, and it's going to start getting scary soon.