Heyas! Just a little Christmas humor to kick off the season. I realize parts of this will make no sense, but then again I wasn't really trying to make sense as much as go for the humor. Special thanks to Tiger Tank for the photo that brought me the idea:D Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Halo.

Christmas Commando

Linda smiled to herself: as uncharacteristic as it was for a Spartan to openly display emotions, she couldn't help it. The war was practically over, the Spartans were basically not needed, and they were left to find new ways to fill their time. Fred was happy as long as he had his combat knives, but John and Kelly were harder to keep occupied. So she'd come up with a prank to alleviate the time, and enlisted their help.

There happened to be quite a few large pine trees on the outskirts of the base they were stationed at, and one of them was exceptionally tall. Even better, this particular tree had branches that were sturdy right up to the top of the tree. Better still, according to the calendars it was almost Christmas, and while the Spartans usually didn't celebrate the holiday they decided to use the occasion to…lighten…the atmosphere.

It had taken a lot of work, and they'd had to do it late at night so they wouldn't be suspected, but somehow they'd managed to decorate the pine tree where Linda now perched. The work had paid off: paper chains, candy canes, and various other plastic ornaments Fred and Kelly had filched from stores glistened in the early morning light. A few strings of general-purpose lights adorned the branches as well, and Fred for some reason had seen fit to hang a few BR55 and MA5B rifles from the lower branches. Kelly had tried for better by hanging a few grenades as well, suspended on strands of razor wire. Linda wasn't sure how safe it was to be posting in a tree that was now armed to the teeth, but she could see the humor they were using. Spartan humor, nothing like it, she thought with amusement.

She sat at the very top, concealed by an oversized gold-foil star John had somehow put together, trying hard not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it, and grinning at the gaping faces of the gathering Marines. If all went according to plan, the base's CO would come to investigate. Since he was an ass anyway, Linda had no qualms about pranking him. Remembering how hostile he'd been when they'd arrived gave her even more incentive.

"You know, the CO here is a bit of a jerk."

"A BIT? Kelly, he practically spits nails every time he sees us!" Fred had been quite vehement in his reply. "He was pissed when we arrived!"

"He's an ODST," John commented quietly. "They think we're freaks."

"Still, what did we ever do to them?" Fred had a point, Linda conceded, and voiced her opinion on the base commander.

"I think he needs to be taken down a few notches."

Ah, there was the CO now, coming to see why his entire base was clustered in the middle of the complex. He was going to be properly humiliated now. Even from this distance she could hear him shouting; looking at him through her scope, she saw his face was bright red and his veins were popping out. Good, he's nice and pissed; people like that are easy targets, they let their guard down.

"Ready," Linda spoke softly over the COM; acknowledgement lights from Fred, Kelly, and John winked on, waiting for her signal. They were as ready as they'd ever get.

"Now." Linda squeezed the trigger, emptying her rifle into the CO; the red paint left a few nice blotches on his pristine uniform. John and Fred squeezed off several rounds of green paint, while Kelly fired red. In a matter of minutes the officer was "dressed" appropriately for the season. The four Spartans joined in with the laughter from the rest of the base, and Linda kept laughing as she saw the man storm off to his office.

Merry Christmas, asshole.