Reunited
Set after 6/8
Ros emerges from the doors of a huge airport and stands still for a moment, breathing in the cool air. Well, she's made it this far, what next? That's the trouble with MI5 she thought. They get you to death and beyond, but that's it. She tried to think positively, a new start, a new life, no more near death encounters, no backstabbing colleagues, dodgy family, no Harry… no Adam… No Adam. No, she won't think about him, not now. She picks up the red leather bag and starts walking, unsure of where she's going or why. Eventually she comes to a cheap looking motel. Up in the beige and brown bedroom she dumps her bag on the sagging bed and starts to unpack. An envelope of cash, a decent amount but she has no idea what she'll do when it runs out, a top, some jeans and underwear, a new toothbrush and a folded note. She recognises the handwriting immediately, "I'll miss you" followed by a kiss. She holds the note for a few moments, for once allowing herself to cry.
Back at the Grid Adam has been going about his work as if dazed, snapping at anyone who approaches him. No one else seems to care that she is gone – in fact the general response is that they are better without her. He feels like the kiss of death. Ok, he knows that Ros isn't dead but she might as well be and it feels like his fault. First Fiona, now Ros. Only Harry looks at him with what seems like empathy, patting his shoulder as he goes past. He arrives early one morning and automatically makes himself a coffee, unable to help himself looking round for her, previous conversations echoing in his mind. Harry pokes his head round the door of his office
"Bring one in for me if you're making"
Adam wearily carries two coffees in o the office and is about to leave when Harry stops him.
"Adam. How are you doing? I know you miss her"
"I don't know if I can do this job anymore, Harry. It destroys every part of my life"
"Of course you can. I know it takes over but if we don't carry on, what's the point?"
"I just can't stand being here without…"
"I know, I was the same when…"
"Of course. Ruth."
"The thing is Adam, I know it was a bit different in that Ruth isn't actually dead but I do understand where you're coming from…"
Adam stared for a moment, startled. So Harry didn't know. He held his breath as Harry continued;
"Look, Adam, I'm suggesting that you take some leave. I'm not suspending you. I just think you need some time."
"I don't need it now, Harry; I just need to keep busy"
"Well think about it, at least."
"Will do" Adam replied, without any intention of doing so. He left the office, and the grid, needing some air. He headed down the road, briefly allowing himself to visualise Ros, trying to picture what she might be doing now. That was the trouble with MI5 he thought, they got you to death and beyond but then what? He knew he'd set her up with enough documents to get work, but there were sill no guarantees.
He found himself in front of an internet café and headed inside to warm up. He logged on to a PC and went to check his Yahoo email account; the only one he could guarantee went unchecked by the government. He opened his inbox and his heart skipped a beat as he saw an email appear from BlondeS. He hesitated, his finger hovering over the mouse button. Blonde S was Blonde Spook, there was only one woman who fitted that description and she was officially dead. He opened the email to read two lines
I'm in Canada, I'm fine. I won't email again, don't worry, I know the risks.
Canada. Of course, the most logical place for her, no language barrier and no American government. So now he knew. The question of what to do about it hovered in his brain. The sensible part of him knew that he should just be satisfied with knowing where she was, log off and return to work. Even as the thought entered his brain his fingers were typing;
Where in Canada? What are you doing?
Change email address, Harry knows this one!
AC
X
He returned to work with a lighter step convinced that she would reply, but after several days there was no response. He was checking his email account far more often than usual, each time, holding his breath whilst he waited for his inbox to open. In the weeks that followed he started to feel almost worse than he had before. Somehow knowing where she was but having no contact was almost worse than the unknown, it felt like a rejection. He tried flirting with a new colleague, even a couple of dates but his heart wasn't in it and he was soon left isolated by the majority of the female staff in MI5. All in all, dead or not, Ros was still causing hassle at the Grid, even if she didn't know it. Adam came to the conclusion that she was not planning on another email and realised that he had to change something, just to keep his sanity.
With a few clicks of the mouse he had made a decision. He stood from his desk and waited for Harry to finish his meeting with Bob Hogan. He waited for the odious man to leave then walked in and announced that he would like some leave after all.
"I've decided to take Wes on holiday"
"Good idea" smiled Harry, relieved. Adam was becoming a problem constantly moping around and he hoped that a holiday would revive him a little.
Adam and Wes arrived in Canada only a week later, it had taken quite a lot of persuading of Wes' housemaster to allow Wes to come on this trip, but Adam had managed it with promises of educational trips around the Rocky Mountains. It was March and the heavy Canada snow was starting to recede leaving early daffodils and crocuses blooming from the banks. Adam had settled on Ottawa, feeling that Vancouver was unlikely as Ana had only recently been despatched there. He had no idea where to start and Wes was looking increasingly baffled at the searching looks his father was giving every group of people.
After two days of exploring (for Wes's benefit)/searching (for Adam's) the city Adam took Wes to the park in the centre of town and started trying to provide some of the education he had promised the school. Wes was more interested in the huge climbing wall dominating the park and despite Adam's best efforts he was determined to reach the top before they left. Giving up on the scenery, Adam stood and watched as his son climbed the wall, marvelling at his agility. "He'd make a great spook" thought Adam ruefully, with no intention of ever allowing that to happen. His son's voice calling from his perch at the top of the wall stopped his introspection;
"Hey, Dad! I can see everything from here! There's a man with six dogs over there! And a load of skaters…and people jogging. I can spy on them from up here!"
"Yeah, I guess you can" Adam shook his head, laughing. If only it was as easy as that…
"Hey Dad, Dad look!" Wes was pointing down the path towards the exit. Various workers were enjoying a lunchtime walk, taking in the air and relishing the mild temperature after the months of snow. Adam glanced briefly at them, not seeing what had got his son so excited,
"What's up Wes?" he asked puzzled.
"There's a lady coming that looks like your friend Ros…"
Adam was jolted; he followed his son's finger, hardly daring to breathe. Wes was right, walking towards them as though in a dream was the tall blonde figure of Ros. He stood in her path, waiting for her, willing her to focus on him. Obviously deep in thought, she didn't notice him until she was a few feet away. Her eyes flicked over him twice before Adam heard her gasp. She froze where she stood, her heart pounding. Adam too seemed unable to move. Having come to find her, he had all but given up hope, to see her standing before him, looking just the same was unbelievable.
Wes watched them with interest, the last time he had seen Ros was more than a year before, she had been quite nice to him but he hadn't thought much about her since then, except that he thought his Dad had said she had died. That had seemed strange at the time, but no details had ever been explained and Wes thought now that he must have misunderstood.
Ros didn't know what to do. She had adjusted to the idea that she could not see Adam again; the email she had sent had been a moment of weakness not to be repeated. She was starting to build a life for herself in Ottawa, as much as you can build a life almost entirely based on lies. Going by her middle name of Sarah, she was working in administration for an insurance company; it was her job to catch out false claimants, mostly through covert surveillance, something which everyone in the office agreed she seemed to have a natural talent for. As she stood, looking at Adam feeling emotion choking her throat, she half wondered if anyone from home could have produced that effect; it's just the relief of seeing someone who knows me she thought, suppressing the immediate following thought that only Adam really knew her. Suddenly he spoke, his voice raw;
"Ros."
And that was all it took, suddenly she was in his arms, tears in her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder. He could feel her sobbing as he held her;
"I had to find you" he murmured in to her neck, "I know I shouldn't but I needed you. When you didn't email again…"Ros pulled back from him slightly, looking in to his eyes, a sudden rush of frustration mingling with the feeling of relief;
"I couldn't, Adam. You said it yourself 'Walk away, don't ever look back', I was trying to do that. I was getting there; I have a job, a sort of life. Now you've screwed it up!"
"I needed you"
"Its all about you, isn't it?" she said bitterly, stepping away from him. "I am dead, remember? You have to accept it."
"But you're not. You're not dead, and you told me you were here, so you wanted me to find you or you wouldn't have told me" he took a step towards her but she turned her back,
"Maybe I did, but I thought you'd know it wasn't safe"
"We can make it safe, Ros. Ros. Look at me. You always have to be the strong one, don't you? Alright, look at me, come here, look at me and tell me to leave and I will. I'll go home, back to work and I will move on. You can disappear and that will be that."
Ros hesitated. She knew that she should tell him to leave; it would be foolish to do anything else but as she looked at him images of their shared past flashed before her, holding each other as they nearly drowned, her own terror when she thought Ana had killed him, saying their goodbyes in Highgate chapel. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry as dust. He was looking at her with such desperation, reaching for her hand…
"I can't." Her voice was soft. "I can't tell you to leave, because now you're here, standing in front of me and I…"She fell silent as he moved closer again. Her gaze flickered to his mouth as she breathed him in. Adam could barely see anything but her as he closed the distance between them and their mouths met in an intense kiss that deepened from tenderness to passion.
Ugh, Dad! Get a room!" Wes' voice brought them back to earth with a bump and they parted, looking at him where he had landed from his death defying jump from the top of the wall. Ros looked at Adam and laughed, suddenly feeling inexplicably light.
"Sorry, Wes, forgot you were there for a second" said Adam looking guilty.
"Yeah, I could tell" replied Wes. He didn't look too worried though and Adam briefly wondered if he should try to explain the situation before the thought that he didn't understand the situation crossed his mind.
"Hi Wes, how are you?" asked Ros, as cheerily as if she had seen him last week.
"Fine, thanks. I thought you were dead though!" responded Wes with the natural bluntness of a child. Interesting thought Ros. How are we going to explain this then…?
"Are you Dad's girlfriend? Asked Wes, curiosity written across his face. Another good question thought Ros, looking to Adam for help.
"Tell you what," said Adam quickly, "Why don't we get some lunch and all go back to the hotel and have a chat there? Without waiting for a reply, he started to walk along the path leading back in to the city, Wes following automatically.
"Hang on," Ros called, "I'm supposed to be at work, I have to get back." She saw Adam's face fall, and made a decision, "Don't worry, I'll call them. Just give me a minute." She pulled out a mobile from the pocket of her long black coat and turned away slightly, but the conversation was still audible to Adam and Wes, and Adam saw Wes's puzzlement increase further as she identified herself as Sarah Miller on the phone. He hoped he could come up with a plausible and safe explanation for Wes as quickly as possible but was disturbed to find that all power of rational thought seemed to have departed with the arrival of Ros
Back in the warmth of the luxury hotel, Ros looked around her with pleasure. "Glad to see you're making use of that MI5 salary" she said, "I died, made a new start and still didn't get a better kitchen. Makes you wish you'd made the most of things when you had the opportunity."
"Are we still talking kitchens?" asked Adam,
"I guess not." She replied. "We did waste a lot of time didn't we?"
"Too much" replied Adam, crossing the room to put his arms around her. Before she could reply, Wes returned from the bathroom, bursting in like a minture tornado.
"Not again" he groaned. "Gross!" Adam laughed,
"You can tell he's becoming a teenager, can't you?" he said to Ros. "Ok, Wes, no more hugging for a bit, come and sit down. I need to explain something…" Wes sat on the edge of the double bed in the centre of the room and Adam sat beside him. Unsure of her role in this conversation, Ros perched on one of the dining chairs by the small table in the corner of the room.
"Ok, basically…" he started, prevaricating like mad "Basically, Ros and I were sort of going out back in London, but, well you know we worked together in that office?" Wes nodded, "Well you know when you fall out with your mates because of something that happens in school?" Wes half nodded again. "Well, that kept happening with us. So we weren't really boyfriend and girlfriend or anything because of work. Then something big happened at…the office and there were some bad people who wanted to hurt Ros…"
"Why?" asked Wes, naturally enough. Adam looked desperate at this point, so Ros interjected;
"Because I accidentally told a really big secret that I wasn't supposed to and the people we really angry and wanted to make sure I didn't do it again. So because your Dad didn't want anyone to hurt me he helped me pretend to be dead so I could go away and no one would find me. And to make sure that the people believed I was dead, he had to pretend I was dead too."
"But I really missed seeing her" said Adam, taking up the story, "So when I knew she was in Canada, I thought we could come on holiday and just see if, maybe, we could find her. And I didn't think we would, but here she is." He smiled at her, a smile she could not help but return.
"Don't the people still want to hurt her then, Dad?"
"Well, the might do, if they knew she was alive and here. But they don't."
"Yet." Said Ros. Adam glared at her. "Well I'm just being realistic, Adam."
Adam turned his attention back to Wes.
"So that's why she's called Sarah now. And why she's here and as for whether she is my girlfriend, that's a bit tricky too, but the most important thing is that you have to help us keep a secret. You must not, ever, Wes, ever, mention that we saw Ros here. Just never say her name. OK?" Wes was looking scared at the urgency in Adam's voice but nodded obediently.
"Dad, do the people want to hurt you too?"
"No, no Wes, its ok, no one is going to hurt me. Or Ros for that matter. Why don't you go and play on your psp for a while? Don't worry about anything." Wes looked fairly satisfied with the explanation and disappeared in to the connection room. Soon they could hear bleeps and pings emitting from behind the door indicating hat Wes was immersed in a game.