Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues or "When She Cries" by Britt Nicole.
"Everyday's the same,
She fights to find her way,
She hurts, she brakes, she hides,
And tries to pray,
She wonders why,
Does anyone ever hear her when she cries?"
Most people thought the scars on my arms were from the explosion my brothers and I were trapped in. Actually, most aren't. Most are done by myself. Because… I don't know another way out.
*~When She Cries~*
I acted like it would be okay. But, I didn't like being near Ned. As his headaches got worse, I couldn't take the pain either. I loved my brother so much. And it stabbed my heart when I heard him scream for me to do something about his pain… And I could only sit there with him.
It's not normal to see a teenage boy screaming, crying, and pleading. I've had to try to deal with that. I can only sit by him and hug him while he screams for help. So, I've tried to get that help. Amy said the Madrigals have made a safe medicine for Ned to take, and until they get here with it, I have to wait in my living room with Ned.
I've given up on that. "Sinead! Ted! Help!"
I slammed my bedroom door shut. Then ran into my closet and shut the door, too. I slid down the wall and started to cry, my face in my hands. I could still hear his hoarse screams, "SINEAD! HELP! PLEASE!" He knew I was here, but I couldn't be with him. "DO ANYTHING! MAKE IT STOP!"
"I would. I would, Ned." I said, to the open air. "I can't…" I sunk my nails into my arms so hard, it actually cut them. Blood oozed out around my finger nails. I removed my nails to see the crescent-shaped cuts on my arm that was already imprinted with scars.
Another horrific plea of help came downstairs. I didn't want to, but… I reached under some folded blankets and found a pair of kitchen scissors that I had placed there.
I squinted my eyes together and put the sharp points to my skin. Another one of Ned's cries flooded to house, and the sharp points slid down my arm, drawing a new line of blood.
Tears escaped as I looked down at the flowing, red liquid. I didn't want to do this. How could I make it, though? I rested my head against the closet wall, closing my eyes and unsuccessfully trying to block Ned out. Tears slipped from my closed eyes, my arm lay out on my lap. Hopefully, it will dry before the Cahill's get here…
"Sinead!"
I opened my red, swollen eyes to see Amy Cahill standing right outside my bathroom door, her eyes open wide with shock and dismay. "Ned," I sobbed, "Wouldn't s-stop."
Amy knelt down beside me, and embraced me in a hug, careful not to touch my bleeding arm. "Shhh…" she said, trying to calm me down.
"I j-just ran out of options." I couldn't stand hearing him sc-cream. I needed to b-block him out."
"Shh… Sinead, this is the dark before the dawn; the storm before the peace. You're going to get through this."
"How?" She doesn't know what I'm going through right now! How can she tell me that!
"Because I know He hears you when you cry."
"W-what?"
"God hears you. He knows what you're going through and how you feel. He can give you peace. Sinead, He got scars so you wouldn't have to."
"What?"
"He died for you. He died so you can have peace and life. Eternal life. He'll always be there for you. Bleeding isn't the answer. I know you can hurt and brake, but He can fix it."
"How do I get it? The peace? Amy, I don't want to go through this anymore. I'm tired of crying and hiding. How do I get it?"
"You've just got to pray to Him, Sinead. Tell God, you believe He's real, that He's died and rose again for you, confess that you've done wrong, and ask Him to come into your life."
"That's it?" A gift like that? And all I have to do is ask?
"That's it. You can do it now. You don't have to deal with this anymore."
I nodded and bowed my head and closed my eyes, and the tears started to flow again. "God, I want you. I need you. I need Someone that's here for me. I believe that You're real; I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me ands then rose again. I've messed up so many times, please, just wash my slate clean. I want to live for You. Help me, God. I don't want to live like this anymore."
After that, I felt peace. I looked down at my arm. It seemed that the cut had stopped bleeding. And healing.
This is the dark before the dawn,
The storm before the peace,
Don't be afraid when seasons change,
God is watching over you,
He hears you,
Everyday's the same,
She fights to find her way,
She hurts, she breaks, she hides,
And tries to pray,
She'll be just fine,
Because I know He hears her when she cries.