No Matter What
Well, hello there! The idea for this oneshot literally hit me and I just had to write it down. I'm an avid, insatiable Castle fanfic reader so I just thought I could pitch in too. I'm kind of nervous since this is my first fanfic ever. It may be a little awkward, cliché, incredibly cheesy and OOC. Take note I'm not a native english speaker, hence the probable grammar mistakes. So yeah, I think I said it all!
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle and I don't even wish I did. My faith is in Andrew W. Marlowe, in the writers and in the cast and crew. I believe they're the only ones who can give us such a great show!
"You okay there, Castle?" she asked him curiously. He seems a little bit out of it today, Kate thought as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. They were on their way back to the precinct from a crime scene, something awfully Castle-flavoured and her partner hadn't uttered a single word since they got into her Crown Vic, something that never had happened until now.
"Yeah…yeah, I'm okay." he answered her halfheartedly.
She didn't believe him. Something definitely was wrong with him today. She felt like the Castle she knew, the one who always came up with the brain eater aliens or CIA undercover agents gone rogue theories on a crime scene, the one who didn't hesitate a second to banter, or even to openly flirt with her at some point, had been replaced by a silent, solemn, pale copycat of the Castle she liked. Because, yeah, since she got used to his antics, to his occasionally childish behavior and to his sometimes annoying quips and puns, she was slowly becoming aware of the fact that she liked him. A lot. And now that she could almost read him like an open book, it was obvious to her that Castle wasn't his normal self.
"No you're not." she found herself whispering back. Don't push him, Kate. It's Castle, you know him. If he wants to talk about it, he will, she thought.
The whole ride to the Twelfth was silent. The only sounds that could be heard were Castle's slightly ragged breathing and the light morning raindrops that were hitting the the top of Beckett's car. As Kate parked her vehicle, she heard Castle shifting in his seat. She switched off the ignition and looked at him while he positioned his body towards hers. He took a deep breath.
"It's Alexis." he said drearily as he looked down at his lap and toyed with his fingers. He took a long pause, then continued. "I yelled at her this morning. We fought, she cried and then she stormed out the loft, slamming the door on her way out and now I feel… I-I feel so bad, Kate. She didn't let me explain what truly was on my mind. It's like everything I wanted to say to her just exploded and God knows I really didn't mean to hurt her. I love her, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's the best child I could ever have hoped for and I can't help but being harsh with her sometimes. I have the nasty impression that I always will want more and more from her. It was the first time it was that bad, you know. I understand it's okay for two people to argue, to clear things up sometimes, but, this… this is really, really bad. I-I feel like I'm the worst father of all times, Kate. I'm trying to improve myself, to be a better person by every single day that's passing by but I believe there's something holding me back. It's like I'm not doing anything right and it-it literally kills me, Kate." he stammered out as he studied the delicate raindrops running on the black car's windshield. "It kills me since I'm trying so hard to be good for the people I love, for the people I care about and it seems that everything I do is to mess things up. I feel so… so useless and –"
"Castle." she keenly cut him off. He needed to know, she decided as she saw him slowly turning around, facing her. "You need to stop belittling yourself like that already. You know, you're actually the only one who thinks that the ruggedly handsome Richard Castle is useless. You're a wonderful man, a wonderful writer, a wonderful friend, and, above it all, you're a wonderful dad." she said softly, offering him a coy smile. "Everybody makes mistakes, that's what makes us human. Your flaws are what makes you special. Your flaws are what makes you Rick." she revealed as he threw an admiring glance at her. Just when he thought he couldn't possibly love that woman more than he already did, she did everything to prove him wrong.
"I really, really needed that." he said, a small smile blossoming onto his lips.
"Well, I didn't want to inflate your ego, Castle." she retorted teasingly. "But, just so you know, I really do mean everything I just said." she continued shyly, her cheeks almost imperceptibly blushing with embarrassement. Had she really unveiled that much? Oh yeah, I just did, she thought to herself.
"Thank you." he said quietly, locking eyes with her. "Thank you for being there for me."
"I'll always be here, Castle." she told him as she tenderly put her right hand on his. "Always."
And with that, with the simple feel of her hand on his, he knew. It was as simple as that. He knew he could always count on her. He knew she will always be here to help him back on his feet again. He knew she would never ever leave his side. He knew she'll always have his back. Always, no matter what.
A/N Ooookay, so I feel like I totally overused the word always. But who can blame me? It's such a beautiful word, hehe! I truly hope it wasn't that bad well, you tell me! Oh, and before I forget, if anyone has advice, a comment, anything, really, just leave a review! Thanks for reading! :)