This was intended to be a short, sweet songfic, but turned into more of The Life of Tom Riddle- a fic exploring Tom's emotional, vulnerable and thoroughly traumatized (by me) side. Features romance, Dark Lords and lots of Angst. Sweet and sad.
Disclaimer: All characters (save some of the various Slytherins and a few teachers) belong to J. K. Rowling.
"Crash and Burn" belongs to Savage Garden.
A/N: I noticed how many Lily and James "Crash and Burn" songfics were being written, so I decided to
make (my first) songfic with a more unusual character for this type of song. (I know, I'm obsessed with the Dark Side.)
This songfic is meant to be angsty, with more than a few snippets of romance, but it turned into Tom's rather nasty
pre-Voldemort life story. Oh, how I love torturing my characters! By the way, the bold print refused to work,
so the lyrics have *stars* around them instead. Enjoy, and review!
Crash and Burn: For Tom
*...When you feel all alone... And the world has turned its back on you...*
A nine year old Tom Riddle sat alone in the orphanage playground. It was early winter, and a sharp breeze
blew about him. Tom shivered, but did not return to the warmth of the building. Save for him, the playground was
completely empty, the cold wind swirling round empty food packets and creaking empty swings.
One lone tear fell down Tom's pale-skinned cheek, dropping down upon his long fingers. Why didn't
anybody like him? He did not talk much, he knew, but that was because he had nobody to talk to. The others called
him a freak, because of the strange things that happened when he got angry. They used to bully him, but after one
of the..odd... things happened again, they left him alone. Completely alone. Even his father hadn't been able to stand him.
If Tom's father had loved him at all, he wouldn't have left him here. Another tear dripped down his cheek, falling into the
puddle the other tear had made in the crevasses betweeen his fingers. Tom watched the salty water merge together.
Even his tears were not alone! So why was he? Why was he always, always alone?
Tom shivered slightly as the breeze blew icily around his ankles, echoing the coldness inside his heart. Was he
a monster, that he had no friends? A freak, the other children called him. Were they right? Was he some sort of creature
of evil? Evil...evil...evil. The word echoed endlessly inside his mind. Tom Riddle searched inside himself. Was he evil?
The cold emptiness of Death surged up like the sea inside him, and laid its Mark upon his soul. Am I evil? he asked
himself. The echo returned in a sibilant hiss, but as weak as the whisper of the ants.
'...yes, Lord...'
*...Give me a moment, please...To tame your wild, wild heart...*
"Can I sit here?"
Tom jumped. He stared at the girl who had startled him. She was quite pretty, really, with long black hair
and big green eyes. His most charming smile halted when he recognised her. Minerva Mac- something. A 5th year like
him. And... a Gryffindor. Damn! Tom looked her up and down again. Bit of a waste, really. She was, after all,
very pretty.
"Tom? Can I sit here, please?" she asked again
"Must you?" he replied ungraciously. Bloody Gryffindors. "Didn't any of your friends save you a seat?"
Tom glanced around himself at the only empty carriage of the Hogwarts Express. He had hoped to have some privacy to
practise a few hexes on the way to school. The Dueller's Club was having the Championship Tournaments in a few
weeks, and he planned to win the Cup- for the fifth year running.
The Gryffindor looked hurt. "Of course they saved me a seat! Tom, I... I.... just wanted to talk to you."
"What about?" Tom asked her roughly, moving his luggage aside so that she could sit down. She did so,
biting her lip and dry-washing her hands nervously.
The normally brave and unflappable Minerva looked terrified, Tom observed. "Well?" he asked, after a silent
few moments. Minerva opened her mouth for a second then closed it again, as if she had been about to retaliate for his
rudeness, then thought better of it. Tom watched her warily. The abruptness that he used to keep away unwanted people
did not seem to work on her. What did she want? Tom considered. It must be something important, if a Gryffindor was
willing to talk to a Slytherin in private.
"Minerva," he began, then stopped with a gulp when a beautiful smile lit up her face. Tom realised something.
He had just used her name for the first time! Before this day, he had always spoken to her as "Gryffindor." He looked
into her eyes, easy when they were sitting next to each other, so close that his lips were only a few inches away from
hers... Tom suddenly caught track of his thoughts. With red staining his alabaster skin, he finished his sentence in an
embarassed rush. "Minerva, what did you want to talk to me about?"
Now it was her turn to blush. "Um...Tom? Give me a moment, please." She swallowed, and took a few
deep breaths. "Well, you know how we have the Yule Ball coming up?" she began, in a rush. Tom nodded.
What did the Ball have to do with him? Wait. No. She couldn't be- No. No. Not possible.
"And I know it's not for another few months, but I was wondering if...if ...if you would like to go to the Ball
with me?" Minerva finished, her face beetroot red.
Tom was sure his ears were about to drop off. He could not have just heard what he thought he heard. He
tried to say, "But you're a Gryffindor!" Somehow, his words came out in a strangled squawk of, "I'd love to."
Minerva's dazzling smile glowed through again. 'Oh, good," she said, leaning her head against his much higher
shoulder. Tom was silent for a moment. "Minerva?" he asked.
"Mmmm?"
"Why ask me?" Tom said. "Why not the Captain of the Quidditch Team, or a Gryffindor Prefect, or
the Head Boy? Why didn't you ask a Gryffindor?"
Minerva sat up again. "Because I like you, Tom," she answered.
"Me? Why? You don't even know me!"
She laughed. "Why you? Why not? And Tom, how could I not know you? You're smart, you're
hard-working, you're brave, you're loyal, and you're so kind, when you think no-one's watching. And you're
good-looking," she added, blushing a little. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."
"Really?" Tom asked, his aforementioned eyes sparkling. "Evidently you've never looked in a mirror and
seen your own."
'Did I mention you were a flatterer?" she laughed.
He smiled. Minerva was surprised. It was the first time she'd ever seen Tom Riddle smile. "Minerva.... Do
I have to buy you a butterbeer in Hogsmeade before I'm allowed to kiss you?"
"No," she said. "But you-" She did not finish her sentence, for his lips were already on hers...
*...I know that you...Feel like the walls are closing in on you... It's hard to find relief...And people can
be so cold...*.
"Hey, Mudblood! Have you heard?"
Tom looked up. "I'm a half-blood, Malfoy!" he said coldly. Then; "Heard what?"
The smirking silver-haired boy in front of him carefully watched Tom's expression, judging the effect of his words.
"Grindlewald is coming, Riddle. I hear he's anxious to get rid of all the filth in Hogwarts' hallways.
Mudbloods like you had better watch out, hadn't they?"
Tom froze. Grindlewald was coming. '....Yes...' sighed the voice inside him. Grindlewald was coming for
him...But not to kill him, as Julius Malfoy thought. '...Serve him...' the voice whispered. '...learn from him....You could
have power beyond your dreams, Lord...serve him...'
"No! I won't!" Tom yelled wildly.
"You won't what, Mudblood? Die?" Malfoy taunted. "I'll laugh when Grindlewald comes, and rids
Slytherin blood of mud like you-"
Tom fell to his knees, clutching his head with both hands. '...Serve him...' came the whisper. 'Serve him, and
he will give you power...power... power...' Tom's hands twisted into claws. "Help me!" he whispered. The Dark surged
up within him. '...give into me, Lord...' "Help me!" he begged. His outstretched hand clutched Malfoy's ankle.
"Please!"
Malfoy leapt back. "Don't touch me, Mudblood!" he yelped. "Filth!"
Tom did not hear him leave. His nails drove into the skin of his face until blood ran in free rivulets down
his skin. He was trapped inside his own head, and the walls were closing in. Grindlewald was coming for him...
*...When darkness is upon your door... And you feel like you can't take anymore...*
The bell rang. Tom sighed with relief. Transfiguration was, like all of his subjects, very easy for him, but
Professor Dumbledore had been watching him all lesson, and there was something about Dumbledore's eyes that made
Tom feel like a mouse confronted with a hawk. He gathered his books together, and was about to leave his seat when-
"Mr Riddle? Stay behind after this class, please. I would like a word with you."
Tom sank back down into his seat again. The last student left, and Dumbledore closed the
Transfiguration classroom door. He strode over to his desk, and sat down. For a few moments, Professor and student
observed each other, blue eyes meeting blue. Dumbledore's stare was piercing, but Tom managed to meet his teacher's
eyes levelly.
They sat in silence. Finally, Dumbledore spoke. "All right, Mr Riddle. You may begin by explaining the
cuts on your face."
"My cat scratched me," Tom lied glibly.
"I see," came Dumbledore's calm reply. "In that case, Mr Riddle, explain the blood under your fingernails."
Tom said nothing. He did not need to. It was clear that Dumbledore already knew what had happened.
"Professor, I-"
"Enough, Mr Riddle. I do not want to hear your lies." The Transfiguration Professor ran a hand over his face.
"Mr Riddle, I am sure that you are well aware of your magical prowess. You are easily the best student in the school.
These are shadowed times, Mr Riddle, and the Ministry will need wizards like you in the darkness ahead.
Grindlewald is coming-"
'...Grindlewald is coming...is coming...coming...' sang the Dark voice. Tom shuddered visibly. Was he
insane, or was the voice stronger than before?
'...He's coming...'
"No....no! No more! Please! I can't take any more!" Tom cried out, shaking his head, trying to drive
away the voice. '...Grindlewald is coming for you...' it hissed. Darkness rose up, hovering on the threshold of his
vision. Tom teetered on the brink. The wave of blackness crashed down. The shadows swallowed him.
"Tom?" Dumbledore hurried over to his student. "Tom! Can you hear me?" He shook the boy's shoulder.
There was no response. "Mobilicorpus," Dumbledore commanded, waving his wand, and Tom rose jerkily into the air
like a puppet on strings. Dumbledore carefully propelled the boy to the school hospital, and stayed while the nurse
carefully put him to bed. He watched Tom moan and thrash in the grip of some truly awful nightmares.
The nurse watched Tom also, as concerned as Dumbledore. "There is a great evil within this Riddle boy," she
said. "I can feel it."
"I feel it too," Dumbledore admitted. "I fear that he cannot fight it off."
"It?" the nuse questioned. "You know, then, this evil that he fights?"
Dumbledore nodded gravely. "Yes, Nurse." He watched the boy twist around on the spotless white bed.
"Tom is fighting himself."
*...Let me be the one you call...If you jump I'll break your fall...Lift you up and fly away with you
into the night...*
Tom Riddle dreamed. He sat in Transfiguration class, while Professor Dumbledore stood at the front, his face
and body strangely shadowed in the sunny room. Dumbledore waved his wand at a hedgehog. With a 'pop' it turned into
a pincushion. Tom smiled. This was a lesson they'd done years ago. Why was Dumbledore trying to teach it to them
now?
"Teach you?" Dumbledore said, echoing Tom's thoughts. But it wasn't the Transfiguration Professor's voice
that Tom heard. The man stepped out of the shadows, and Tom recognised him, even though he knew he had never seen
him before.
"Grindlewald!"
The Dark Wizard bowed. "None other. Let me teach you, boy..."
"NO!" Tom screamed, and he scratched and clawed at his face, trying to claw out of the nightmare. "NO!"
"Tom! Tom, wake up! Please, wake up!" Minerva's voice entreated.
He opened his eyes, and realised that Minerva was leaning over him, pinning his wrists down at his sides. He
tasted blood in his mouth. He removed his wrist from Minerva's grasp, and gingerly touched his face. There was a
fresh scratch trailing down his cheek.
"Oh, Tom! What's happening to you?" Minerva asked. She sounded close to tears. Tom sat up. He
gently smoothed her hair away from her face. "I don't know," Tom said, and realised how close to tears he was himself.
"I just don't know."
She hugged him. "I'll be here for you, Tom. You don't have to be strong all the time. I'll be here to catch you
if you fall."
"Really?" he asked her, not daring to believe. Why should she care about him? Nobody cared about him.
Tears filled her eyes at his lack of faith in her, but she smiled anyway. "I'll Summon my broomstick and we'll
fly off into the night together, away from Hogwarts, away from England and Grindlewald. We'll be safe, Tom."
Grindlewald. The Dark Voice did not rise up again at the Wizard's name, but Tom felt something stroking
across his soul, and he knew that he was far from safe. The Dark Wizard was merely biding his time.
*********
Professor Dumbledore, stopped, stunned, in the doorway of the hospital. Minerva McGonagall...and Tom
Riddle? Surely not. Yet here they were, and they appeared quite...enraptured...with each other. Tom sat with his back
to Dumbledore, and even if Minerva's fall of dark hair was not providing a shield, she appeared too...distracted... by Tom
for her to notice him. The Professor cleared his throat loudly.
"Oh!" Minerva pulled away from Tom. "Professor... we didn't know you were here!" she said, blushing.
"Obviously not," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes twinkling with merriment. McGonagall and Riddle- why not?
She would be good for him- but would he be good for her? "Excuse me, Miss McGonagall, for interrupting, but I must
speak with Mr Riddle alone."
"Yes, Professor," she said, and hurried quickly out of the hospital.
Dumbledore turned back to Tom. Despite the amusement in his eyes, the Professor's voice came out low and
threatening. "Mr Riddle, we need to talk," he said.
*...If you need to fall apart... I can mend a broken heart...*
Later, Tom laid his hand gently on Minerva's shoulder. She turned around slowly. "Well?" she asked.
Tom swallowed. "The nurse said I was fine," he said, "but Dumbledore- Dumbledore says that I blacked out
because- because..."
"Because what, Tom?" she asked. He did not answer. "Tom, you can tell me anything. I'm not going to reject
you, no matter what Dumbledore said." Her large eyes pleaded with him. "Please, Tom. Please, just tell me."
He stared at her, memorising her features, drinking in the silkiness of her hair, the beauty of her eyes. It was
undoubtably the last time he would ever see them. She would never go near him again after this. "Minerva, Dumbledore
thinks that Grindlewald is moving towards Hogwarts, coming here, for me."
Minerva gasped. "Tom! Why would Grindlewald want-. It doesn't matter. I won't let him kill you. We'll
fight him together, Tom."
Tom smiled cynically. "Kill me? That's not what he wants. Dumbledore said that Grindlewald is trying to
draw me out of the protection of Hogwarts, away to somewhere he can reach me. And he's right, Minerva," Tom said.
He paused, telling her what he had not dared tell Dumbledore. "For the past month or so, I've been having dreams-
nightmares. Grindlewald is in them, and he is trying to make me give in. He says-" and here Tom's voice cracked-
"He says that I am evil, that the darkness is within me and will overwhelm me. He says that I should give into the
darkness, and surrender to him. If I do not, he will destroy Hogwarts." Tom finished the last sentence numbly, waiting
for Minerva to run from him in horror.
Instead, she moved closer and took his face in her hands. "Do you believe him?" she asked. He nodded
miserably. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Then fight it, Tom," she whispered. "Fight harder than
you have ever fought anything in your life."
"I can't!" he half wailed. "Grindlewald- he's too strong, too powerful! I am weak, Minerva."
"No!" she said fiercely. "No, Tom! You are the strongest person I have ever known! Death could not
defeat you! Be strong, Tom, and fight!"
"There's more," Tom whispered. "Dumbledore said that Grindlewald has chosen me as his Heir. He said
that Grindlewald wants me to be the next Dark Lord. And he's right, Minerva. I can feel it. And I can hear a voice,
telling me that I could have power- such power!- if I just serve Grindlewald."
"It's Grindlewald, trying to trick you," Minerva said furiously. 'Don't listen to it, Tom!"
Tom shook his head. "It's not Grindlewald, Minerva. I recognise the voice." He took a deep breath, held it
and let it out. "I recognise the voice, because it is my own."
Silence.
"I can't fight myself, Minerva. I've tried, and it makes me feel like I'm falling apart. Perhaps I should just give
in."
Hot tears flooded Minerva's eyes. "Please, Tom. Please try. It isn't you, Tom, so fight it! Fight the
darkness."
"I can't," he said. "I have no light."
"I will be your Light," she whispered.
*...If you need to crash, then crash and burn...You're not alone...*
"I'll fight with you, Tom. You don't have to be alone anymore."
*...When you feel all alone... And a loyal friend is hard to find...*
"Lachlan!" Tom called out to his best friend. The dark-haired boy in front of him didn't slow down. "Lachlan!
Wait for me!" Tom sprinted up the corridor, catching his friend's arm. "Lachlan, are you deaf? Didn't you hear me calling
you?"
Lachlan didn't meet his friend's eyes. "Look...Tom, there's this rumour going around..."
"What is it?" Tom asked nervously. Did people know about Grindlewald?
Lachlan fidgeted. "Well, you know that annoying Hufflepuff, Myrtle? Well, she told a Ravenclaw girl, who
told Lia Farrel, that you and a Gryffindor were kissing in the hospital."
Tom sighed in relief. Not Grindlewald. "Is that all?" he asked with surprise. "I kissed Minerva and suddenly
you don't know me?"
"You kissed Minerva...So it is true, then," Lachlan said. "You kissed a Gryffindor! A GRYFFINDOR,
Tom!"
"So?" he shrugged. "I like her. She likes me. We're going to the Yule Ball together. What does it matter if
she's a Gryffindor?"
"Well, well, well. So the Mudblood had a little romantic interlude in the hospital. What's the matter, Riddle?
Can't you find a proper Pureblood Slytherin to go out with you?"
Tom closed his eyes as Malfoy's taunting voice drifted up the corridor towards him. Ignore it, he told himself.
Malfoy's nothing. He's so weak that Jelly-legs would knock him out. But Tom could not force himself to let go of his
wand.
"But each to their own, I suppose. Muck to muck, as it were-"
"Serpentsortia!" Tom commanded in a cold fury, and a long, dangerous-looking snake wound out of the wand
and slowly slithered towards Julius Malfoy. Malfoy leapt back. "Petrificus!" Tom shouted, and Malfoy froze on the spot,
unable to move as the snake moved towards him. Tom's cold turquoise-blue eyes met his frightened grey ones.
"You," Tom said slowly, each word hammering home with an icy hammer, "Will NEVER call Minerva muck, or you will
answer to me. Do you understand?"
The serpent had made its way across the corridor. Its diamond shaped head was a scant inch away from
Malfoy's ankle. Its tongue flickered out with a sharp hiss. Malfoy was death white. "I understand, Riddle!" he said
shrilly.
"Good." Tom released both spells. "Now go." Tom commanded, and Malfoy left at a run.
Tom, blue eyes still blazing with fury, turned back to Lachlan. His friend looked terrified, staring at Tom's
wand like a housecat eyeing a tiger. "Listen...Tom," he began nervously.
Tom waved a hand, cutting Lachlan off. "No. You will listen to me," he said imperiously. Lachlan stopped
mid-sentence. There was something about Tom's eyes...something...something that told him to obey. "Never doubt my
power, and never doubt my word. You will not harm Minerva, you will not insult Minerva, and you will not speak ill of
my relationship with her. If you disobey me in this, I will kill you, and never doubt that I can."
Lachlan's face was a mask of terror. "I-I will obey," he squealed.
"Good." The cold reply.
Suddenly, the icy rage that had enveloped Tom dispersed, and his actions of the last few minutes crashed
down upon him. Hexing Malfoy? Threatening to kill his best friend? It was as if something had taken over him.
Tom shuddered, and rubbed his hand across his eyes. When Lachlan looked into Tom's eyes again, their command
for obedience had vanished.
"Riddle, you- you-" Lachlan broke off, as terror slowly trickled out of his face, and the original disgust
returned. "Malfoy's right about you. You're not really a Slytherin, if you're dating a Gryffindor. And if you won't forget
her, then we're not really friends. Mudblood!" he spat, and turned away, running off in the direction Malfoy had taken.
Tom watched him go. So much for loyal friends. He walked slowly through the castle, as Slytherins stared
at with him in contempt, Ravenclaws in condescension, Hufflepuffs with indifference, and Gryffindors with hatred. He was
alone, even though he was surrounded by people. He was popular, and yet he had no friends. Life was full of
contradictions.
He couldn't see Minerva anywhere in the corridors, and the one Gryffindor he had dared ask had told him
she was not in the Common room either. Maybe she was in the library, Tom thought hopefully. He headed in that
direction, peering around the hallway in case he missed her.
When he reached the library, there was still no sign of her. Sighing, he searched through all the book shelves,
and tables. He was about to give up, when he caught a glimpse of dark hair- in the Restricted Section! What was she
doing there? Tom wondered. Glancing around quickly, he quietly slid inside, ducking behind a shelf to hide from the
librarian's eyes.
He turned around a corner, and saw a sleeve of black Hogwarts robes flashing out of view. Tom did not
dare call out in case the librarian heard. He turned around the next corner- and the person stood in front of him,
beckoning. But it wasn't Minerva. The boy before him met Tom's eyes, and Tom almost screamed. He was
staring at himself!
The other Tom touched a finger to his lips, for quiet, pointed to him, then tapped a book on the shelf.
Tom slowly walked over, taking the book off the shelf. When he looked up again, the other Tom had disappeared. He
panicked. Clutching the Forbidden book to his chest, he ran out of the Restricted area, and out of the library.
It wasn't until later, in his bedroom, that Tom finally had the chance to look at the book he had been shown,
without someone else seeing. Blowing dust off the cover, he stared at the title.
" 'The Chamber Of Secrets,' " Tom read aloud. He opened the book. The first chapter was entitled: 'The Heir
of Slytherin.' Tom sat down on his bed and began to read.
*...You're caught in a one way street...With the monsters in your head...*
Tom Marvalo Riddle dreamed.
He dreamed he stood in a huge chamber, an architectural artwork of towering marble pillars and high,
sweeping ceilings. Hundreds of black-robed figures knelt in a circle around him, their heads pressed against the ground in
complete servitude. He watched as two more of his servants entered the chamber, dragging a blond-haired young man
inside.
"Julius Malfoy!" Tom said in surprise, recognising the man. Malfoy stared at him. Blood marred his pale skin,
dripping over his eye from a deep cut on his forehead. He regarded Tom with a mix of terror and horror on his face.
Tom smiled. The vaunted Pureblood feared him, then?
The two black-robed men threw Malfoy to his knees, just inside the circle. "Come here," Tom ordered.
Malfoy shuffled forward, still on his knees. Tom threw up a hand. "Stop. Approach me on your stomach, like the worm
you are."
Obediently, Malfoy fell onto his stomach, his face pressed against the floor. He wriggled forward, as the
Black-robes laughed and jeered. Tom watched without expression, waiting until the blond boy was a foot or so away
before he silenced his servants with a gesture.
"Please, Lord!" Malfoy gasped. Tom thought he would sing, at hearing the arrogant, proud Pureblood
address him as "Lord."
"Please, Lord! Spare my life, I beg you-" Malfoy pleaded to Tom's feet, not daring to look up.
"Silence!" Tom commanded, and Malfoy stopped speaking. Tom regarded the boy before him. If he
wanted, he could kill the arrogant bastard, and no-one would care. He could order him tortured, and all here would
leap to comply. He could order Malfoy to grovel, to lick his boots, to kiss the ground before him, and the prat would
do it. For the first time in his life, Tom felt he had everything he had ever wanted. Complete control. It was intoxicating.
"You see, Tom?" a voice spoke from the shadows. "Do you feel it? Do you feel your own power?"
"Yes," Tom breathed. "It is- it is wonderful!"
"Yes, Tom. But you are only dreaming. This power can be your reality, if you serve Grindlewald."
Grindlewald. That name broke the spell. "I will not obey him! He is a Dark wizard- evil."
The shadowed figure laughed. "Obey him? Hardly, Tom. Serve him, follow him, learn from him, and then
kill him, when he can teach you nothing more. That is the road to power, Tom."
"No. NO! I won't listen to you! You're Grindlewald, trying to trick me!" Tom cried. Wake up. He had to
wake up!
"I'm not Grindlewald, Tom." There was the hint of a cold smile in the voice. "I am you, Tom, and you are
me."
"No, I'm not you. I am me! I am Tom Marvalo Riddle. I am Tom Marvalo Riddle. I am Tom Marvalo
Riddle," Tom repeated over and over again, a mantra whispered under his breath like a prayer.
The figure laughed. "Fool." It stepped out from the shadows, and the firelight fell upon a monster's face,
with red, slitted eyes, and a wide cobra-like nose. "Fool," it repeated. "I am Lord Voldemort."
Tom stared. Something about the name it had called itself clicked inside his head. " 'I am Lord Voldemort,' "
Tom repeated. "That's just my name rearranged!"
"Fitting, then, isn't it?" the creature said. "My name is derived from your name, just as I come from your
darkest thoughts and dreams, your most secret ambitions and yearnings. I am you, Tom, and you are me. Accept it.
Use it. Welcome it," Voldemort hissed, and gestured towards Malfoy, still lying on his belly. "You hate him. I can feel
it. You want to hurt him, hurt him badly, hurt him so that he will beg you for it to end, beg for you to kill him. I can show
you how. Watch, Tom."
And Tom watched, as the Voldemort-creature moved slowly into the circle. It took Tom's wand in its pale,
claw-like hand, and touched the wand to Malfoy's forehead. The creature whispered a word; "Crucio."
Malfoy's screams filled the air, echoing endlessly around the chamber as the silver-haired boy writhed in
agony. Tom stared in fascination. Something inside him told him he should be horrified, that he should snatch his wand
back. Something told him that Voldemort was evil. But he did not listen. He did not want to listen.
After a long, drawn out three minutes, Voldemort at last removed the spell. By the end of it, Malfoy lay
limply on the ground, shuddering and shaking in the remembrance of agony. Voldemort smiled, and offered the wand to
Tom. "Your turn," he whispered.
Tom stared at the boy, lying pathetically on the ground. He stared at the wand in his hands. He stared at
the red gleaming eyes of the creature that said it was part of him. And he found himself remembering all the times Malfoy
had called him a Mudblood, or insulted his parents, his friends, and Minerva. In a steady hand, he touched the wand to
Malfoy's bloodstained forehead. "Crucio," he whispered. Voldemort's red eyes glowed with triumph, and then there
was nothing more save screams.
*...When hopes and dreams are far away and... You feel that you can't face the day...*
Tom awoke. The heady thrill of power filled him, burning within him as if he would explode with magic.
The memory of Malfoy, snivelling and weeping on the ground like the pathetic worm he was... Tom thought he could
die from the joy of retribution. No. Not die from it. He was Tom Marvalo Riddle. He would be the greatest wizard
in the history of the universe! He would find a way to conquer death, and the world would kneel before him.
"I am Tom Marvalo Riddle and I will be the greatest-" Tom paused. Tom Riddle...he still had his Muggle of
a father's name. That was no name for a powerful wizard. Tom found himself thinking of his dream, with the other Tom
inside it. It must have been that Tom that showed him the book in the library. Tom glanced at 'The Chamber of Secrets.'
He had already discovered more about magic in that book than Hogwarts could teach him in a thousand
years. He was the Heir of Slytherin. That much was obvious. All the clues were there. And... if the other Tom had
helped him find that book, then the other Tom was trying to help him. And the name his other side had taken for himself,
Lord Voldemort...that was a good name for a wizard. Tom smiled, tapping his lip thoughtfully. Lord Voldemort...Oh, to
hear Malfoy address him as Lord again! Tom smiled, remembering the Cruciatus curse. Such power had filled him as
he spoke it!
But what if- What if it was only a dream? What if it was only a dream, sparked by his own ambitions and
reading about the Heir of Slytherin- himself- before he went to sleep?
'It wasn't a dream, Tom,' the Dark Voice whispered within him.
"Who are you?" Tom said out loud.
The sound of distant laughter, high and cold, filled his ears. 'I told you, Tom. I am you. I am Lord
Voldemort.'
"But if- if you are me, then why have you been telling me to serve Grindlewald. I don't want to serve him,
and I don't want to be Dark, either."
'What do you want, Tom?' Voldemort whispered inside his head.
Tom closed his eyes. "I don't know. But I will not serve Grindlewald."
'Then don't serve him,' whispered the reply. 'Kill him, and his wizards will follow you instead. You will be
Lord, Tom, and all of the power and glory will be yours, forever.'
Tom was silent.
'Don't you want to rule, Tom? Don't you want people to grovel before you in awe? Don't you want
the Malfoy boy to grow up knowing that he is a worm compared to you? Or, if you will, don't you want to stop the
Malfoy boy ever growing up?'
"Yes! No... I don't know!" Tom shouted. The whispers in his head did not stop.
'You can be their Lord, Tom! You can have power beyond even your wildest dreams! You can make
everyone kneel before you, and obey. Don't you understand, Tom? Listen to me, and you alone will rule the universe!'
You alone... "No," Tom said, and he knew he had made his choice. "I don't want to rule alone. I'm tired of
being alone."
'Then what do you want, Tom?' Voldemort repeated.
Tom closed his eyes, and the answer suddenly came to him, with the beauty and gentleness of softly falling
snowflakes. "I want Minerva. I have enough, if I have her."
'Fool!' Voldemort raged within him. 'You will throw away your power for a girl?'
Tom paused. "No," he said. "I will not throw away my power. I consider it a fair trade. You lied.
You are not my yearnings and dreams, for all of my dreams are of her. You are evil. You delight in the pain
and misery of others. You are not me. I am not you."
'FOOL!' Voldemort screeched again, and there was something desperate in his voice. 'Look inside yourself,
Tom, and you will find me! I am your fire, Tom! I am your strength! I am your ambition, boy!'
Ambition. That had been the downfall of Salazar Slytherin, and his entire House.
"I am not you," Tom said quietly. "I am myself."
'Not for long,' came the whispered reply. 'If I cannot turn you...Grindlewald is coming, boy...he will be here
by dawn... we shall see who is the Lord of this body...' the voice trickled off into nothingness.
Tom sat on his bed in silence, staring at the book he still held in his hands. The Chamber of Secrets...There
were some secrets he did not want to know. Tomorrow, he resolved, he would give the book to Dumbledore and
confess everything.
Tomorrow... Voldemort's last words suddenly hit home. Grindlewald would be here by dawn...He would
destroy Hogwarts to get to him... Minerva! He had to protect her! When day came, Grindlewald would be here...
Tom had fallen asleep fully clothed. He leapt off the bed, grabbed his wand, and set off at a sprint towards Professor
Dumbledore, the only person Tom had ever feared in his entire life. He could only hope that Grindlewald would be afraid
of him too.
The creature that was Voldemort coiled silently inside Tom's head, nestled away in the darkest recesses of the
boy's thoughts. In the shadows, there was the idea of muscles stretching, claws shifting. The Voldemort-creature was
satisfied. By dawn, its battle with the boy would be decided. The boy could not hope to win, for he fought with weapons
of hatred and anger, and the Voldemort-creature fed on those weapons. Soon, it would all be done.
*Let me be the one you call...If you jump I'll break your fall...Lift you up and fly away with you into the night...*
"Professor!" Tom shouted, thumping on the Transfiguration teacher's door. "Professor!"
Dumbledore opened the door, staring at Tom in surprise. "It's three o'clock in the morning, Mr Riddle.
What brings you here?"
Tom opened his mouth, then stopped, unsure where to begin. (Professor, a demon is trying to take over my
mind and make me the Supreme Ruler of the Universe. Oh, and I didn't do my homework. Anything else, Sir?) just
didn't have the right ring to it. He shut his mouth.
Dumbledore watched him without expression for a moment. Then he sighed. "You might as well come in,"
he said, holding the door open.
"My office," Dumbledore said, directing Tom to his left. Tom walked into the room, then stopped when he
realised a dark-haired girl was already sitting in one of the chairs.
"Minerva?" he said.
The girl jumped. "Tom!"
"What are you doing here?" they asked each other at the same time.
"After what you told me, I couldn't sleep," Minerva began. "And you mentioned the Professor to me, so I
thought he could tell me more about what was happening to you-"
The door shut behind them, and Professor Dumbledore shuffled over to his desk, his auburn hair
glinting like fire in the light. "Sit, please, Mr Riddle," he said quietly. "Miss McGonagall is here, beacause she is worried
about certain dreams that you have been having, and neglected to inform me of earlier today when I specifically inquired."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. Tom fidgeted. "Yet I am at as much of a loss as Miss McGonagall as to why you are
here now, Mr Riddle. Would you care to explain?"
Tom shifted nervously. The Transfiguration Professor regarded him calmly, yet coldly. It was clear to Tom
that Dumbledore considered him as much of an enemy as Grindlewald. The amiable professor had no twinkle in his eyes
now. "Professor, I had another dream about Grindlewald."
Minerva straightened and stared at him in alarm. "Tom-" she began, taking his hand in hers.
Dumbledore cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Wait, please, Minerva. Continue, Mr Riddle."
Tom squeezed Minerva's hand. "Professor, in my dream, I was told that if I served Grindlewald, he would
give me power, control, greatness."
"I see. And what did you answer, Mr Riddle?" Dumbledore asked.
"I said 'no,' Professor. I refused to serve him."
Dumbledore visibly relaxed. His expression warmed, the twinkle returning to his eyes. "I am very relieved,
Tom. I have said to you before that you have the makings of a great wizard. But greatness is not about power, or control.
A wizard cannot serve the Dark Arts, and be great, Tom. A wizard who uses his power to harm or control others is
being controlled himself, by the darkness that afflicts Grindlewald and his followers. You are your own Master, Tom. I
pray that you will always remain so. You made the right choice."
Voldemort's distant laughter resounded in Tom's head. He ignored it. He would be strong. "Professor,
there is more. Grindlewald is coming. He will be here by dawn."
Minerva turned ash-white. Dumbledore merely nodded. "I expected as much."
"What do you plan to do, Sir?" Tom asked him, feeling relieved that at last someone else was taking charge.
Dumbledore was silent for a moment. He looked up again, and Tom was astounded by the courage he saw
there. "I plan to challenge him to a wizard's duel," Dumbledore said.
"For me?" Tom asked. "Why?"
"Because of who you are," Dumbledore replied, and there was pride in his face as he watched the boy
before him.
"You won't face him alone," Tom said steadfastedly. "I will be your second," he said, and bowed.
Dumbledore was hesitant. "Tom, you are brave, but are you strong enough? Grindlewald is-"
"Grindlewald fears you, Tom," Minerva said.
The two men stared at her. "What?" Tom spluttered.
"Pardon?" Dumbledore asked.
"He fears you," Minerva continued patiently. "He is in your dreams to sap your will, he orders you to
serve him, and is ready to kill you if you do not. It is clear, Tom. Unless he is your Lord, he is afraid to let you live.
He fears you, Tom. You are a threat to him."
"Then I will be your second," Tom said confidently, and Dumbledore bowed to him in acceptance.
Minerva watched them silently. Despite her words, her eyes were filled with tears.
"Tom, send an owl to Grindlewald. Challenge him to the duel," Dumbledore said. "I will notify
the Headmaster, and some of the other professors." Tom hurried out, heading for the owlery.
Minerva watched him go, a single tear streaking down her cheek. "Protect him, Professor. Please."
"You love him, don't you?" Dumbledore said.
"Yes," Minerva smiled. "I think I do. And, Professor?"
"Yes?"
"I'm coming too. I promised him. If he falls, I will be there to catch him."
*...If you need to fall apart...I can mend a broken heart...*
Tom watched the owl flutter off into the night. Its tawny wings vanished behind a tree in a flicker of
burnished gold. By dawn, Grindlewald's corpse would lie on the autumn ground, or Tom would be wishing
that his were. "It has begun," he murmured to himself.
'No, boy,' the creature within him whispered to itself. 'This battle began more lifetimes ago then
there are grains of sand on the beach. And it will never end, boy. The war is never over.'
By the time Tom had returned, the Headmaster had arrived, along with Professor Hawking; the
Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lithan; Potions, and Professor Tirnel, from Charms.
Hawking was the Slytherin Head of House, Lithan of Ravenclaw, and Tirnel of Hufflepuff. Dumbledore was,
of course, the Head of Gryffindor.
"Ah, Mr Riddle!" Hawking exclaimed. "At last you are joining us. Would you care to explain
Dumbledore's rather wild story to us? The Dark Wizard, coming here? I think, Headmaster, that the good
Transfiguration Professor has dipped a little too deeply into his brandy this evening."
Professor Lithan's pretty features twisted into contempt at Hawking's words. It was no secret that
Hawking was jealous of Dumbledore, and sought every oppurtunity to undermine him. She smiled poisonously
at the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. "So you can think, Professor? I must say, you are a marvellous
actor. I never would have guessed it."
"Now, now," the Headmaster said, his tone suggesting that he was chastising students, not senior
members of his teaching staff. "Perhaps we should let Mr Riddle explain himself, before we make any
accusations."
"Agreed," Tirnel said. "Speak, Riddle."
Tom's eyes flew around the room, first meeting the Headmaster's curious, yet encouraging expression,
then Lithan's owlishly unblinking stare. Tirnel met Tom's glance with his usual frown. Hawking did not look at him,
his burning stare fastened on Dumbledore. Dumbledore had fixed his attention entirely on Tom. He caught Tom's
eyes, and winked.
Feeling more confident, Tom opened his mouth. "I-"
"Speak up, Riddle!" Tirnel barked.
Tom jumped. "Yes, Sir!" he said automatically, unconsciously standing at attention. Tirnel was a tyrant
in Charms. "I- I- I," Tom decided to say it outright. "Grindlewald is coming. He will be here by dawn."
"If this is a prank, I must say it is in rather bad taste," Hawking interjected. "Have you any proof?"
"I've been having nightmares," Tom said.
"I see," Hawking said. "Last time I checked, a 5th year student 'having nightmares' did not justify a
conference in the middle of the night! Is there a point to this, Dumbledore?"
"Let Tom continue," Dumbledore said calmly.
"Speak!" Tirnel ordered.
Somehow, Tom found the strength to keep his voice controlled, even though he felt like screaming at them
all to stop wasting time, that Grindlewald was coming. A grandfather clock in the corner of Dumbledore's office
proclaimed the time to be five minutes past four. There wasn't much time. Tom tried to make his voice as convincing
as possible.
"I've been having nightmares," he repeated, "and Grindlewald is in them."
"Not surprising," Hawking interrupted dryly. "Half the wizarding world has nightmares about Grindlewald.
With all due respect, Headmaster, I think we are wasting our time with this."
"With all due respect, Professor Hawking, this is an emergency. I do not care what you have to say,
and I will thank you to stop interrupting me every sentence," Tom said, as politely as possible.
Hawking spluttered in indignation. The three other Professors were suddenly all smiles, although
Dumbledore attempted to suppress his.
Hawking opened his mouth, no doubt to give Tom a year of detention. "Enough, Professor," Tom said.
"You will listen to me. You must all listen to me," he said, directing his words around the room.
"Forceful, isn't he?" Lithan murmured.
Forceful? But he had to be. Tom's eyes fell on Minerva, sitting unobtrusively in the corner. If he didn't
convince them, Hogwarts would fall, and Minerva would be killed. He would do what he must to keep her safe.
"Headmaster, Professors, this is not a prank. You must believe me. Grindlewald has studied the Dark Arts.
Who knows what power he possesses? But I have been having dreams about him, and there were...signs...within
them which told me they were true dreams."
"Like what?" Lithan asked.
"I knew he had taken Beauxbatons three days before the news arrived. He said that he 'had crushed it, just like
he would crush Hogwarts.' "
Hawking snorted in disbelief, but did not say anything. Lithan spoke again; "I am more open-minded then
...certain others... here, but that is impossible to prove, Riddle."
"Very well," Tom said. "If you want proof... Two weeks ago, he gave me this;" and Tom rolled up the sleeve
of his robe, displaying a long, deep half-healed gash along his left forearm.
"Good God!" Tirnel swore, betraying his Muggle upbringing.
Dumbledore was just as surprised. Tom hadn't mentioned his arm before. "He did this when I refused- again-
to serve him. He cursed me, and I threw up my arms to protect myself. It would have hit me in the chest if I had not."
Lithan stepped forward, taking Tom's arm. After examining it for a moment, she nodded to her colleagues.
"This is indeed a curse wound," she said.
"So?" Hawking said. "Riddle is in the Dueller's Club. Another student cursed him, the Champion was too
proud to admit it and didn't go to see the nurse. Bringing Grindlewald into it like this...Riddle is deluding himself."
Tom glared at Hawking. "You are coming close- very close- to calling me a liar. Why would
I lie about this? It makes no sense."
"Why don't you explain that to us, then, Riddle?" Hawking sniped. "I do not want to spend my night
talking about Grindlewald. I do not want to think about Grindlewald."
"That's it, isn't it?" Tom said. "You don't want to think about Grindlewald, which is why you refuse to even
consider the possibility that I am telling the truth! Coward!"