Title: Broken Record
Rating: T (M if continued)
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya,
Warnings: Male x Male Relationships, Drug Abuse
Description: They say curiosity killed the cat, and while Izaya was still very much alive, he felt dead and it was all because of his curiosity for the needle. Shizaya. Drug Addict!Izaya.
Izaya's POV
"Just one more hit, what's the worst that can happen."
How many times now have I had that same exact thought? 3….maybe 4 times; I have lost count. It always starts out the best, but within 24 hours I am back to that same thought, almost word for word like a broken record. Perhaps I am a broken record. By definition, I suppose I am; I am constantly repeating the same pattern over and over.
As much as I would like to blame anyone but myself for this new, horrible lifestyle, it solely my responsibility. They say that curiosity killed the cat and, while I may not be dead, I might as well be. Even though I thought that I was always above my precious humans, I somehow managed to fall right back down to their level. I am an eternal slave to the needle like so many others in the world.
That's why I am not surprised that I am thinking that very same set of words that have now began to mock me. I am panting slightly as pain wracks through my body. My head…fuck, my head feels like it has been collided with one of those heavy objects that the protozoan is constantly throwing at me. I am suddenly aware of everyone around me. Their all looking at me, judging me…I need to get away.
My eyes dart around for the nearest alley way. With a slight urgency in my step, I make my way over to the dark opening. Another burst of pain goes through my body causing me to lean against the wall for support. Still, I am not far away enough from the judging eyes. I push myself to go deeper into the alley way. Once I am a decent distance away, I allow my back to hit the wall and gradually slide down the hard rock until I am sitting against it.
It's so pathetic how much I need this…but I do. With a shaky hand, I reach into my pocket and pull out a needle with the liquid that has been the bane of my existence. My stomach is in knots. I don't know if it's in anticipation, guilt, despair or withdrawal. I pull off the cap of the needle and move it to position against my arm. Before it can break my skin and provide me with the relief I so desperately desired, the sudden sound of a trash can hitting the wall next to me startled me and halted my actions. Fuck.
"Izaaaaya, I thought I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro!" The blonde man in the bartender outfit looked down at me with that territorial look that he had been giving me for years. Heh, it's funny how Shizu-chan, the man who has been trying to kick my ass since high school, is the only thing in my life that my drug addiction has not affected.
"Hey, flea. Did you suddenly go deaf? Get the hell out, now!" The blonde fortimisso yells at me but I give him no response and make no movement. I don't trust my own mouth to formulate a sentence, not with withdrawal wracking my brain. A strong hand grabs my shirt and shoves me back into the wall causing me let out a groan due to the amplified pain the hard contact caused me. My hand droops slightly and my needle drops onto the ground, making a small sound as it make contact with the concrete.
Apparently the sound was loud enough for the blonde to hear because he raised an eyebrow and looked down to where the sound came from. His eyes widened in shock as they took in the sight of the drug filled instrument. An awkward silence then proceeded to ensue. I wonder what he is thinking…probably inwardly cheering that the great, Izaya Orihara was a drug addict.
"I-Izaya…" Shizuo finally said. "Were…Were you about to shoot up?" The blonde finally asked. I felt a sudden cold sensation wash over me and a rush of unpleasant emotions. My head drops slightly in shame, shame that I had been caught, and by Shizuo of all people that could have caught me. My hands tighten into fists as my heart clenches from the feeling of shame.
"Please…help me."
This is for my fiance Kain for his 22nd birthday! He loves drug addict Izaya so I decided to write him this. I am unsure if I should continue or not so it's kind of an open ending ^^;