"Mothers tell your children, be quick you must be strong, life is full of wonder, love is never wrong, remember how they taught you, how much of it was fear, refuse to hand it down, the legacy stops here." ~ Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy".

There were many reasons he elected to stay in Massachusetts for his university education; and it truly was his choice because he had scholarship offers from across the country. He had his pick of all the top schools for both academia and basketball and he was heavily recruited by all the big basketball schools, from Kentucky to Duke. He had applied to other schools for pure academic considerations and while the likes of Princeton and Dartmouth had offered the full ride it eventually came down to a choice between MIT and BCU, with his biological mother's Alma Mater eventually winning out.

It was nice to be close to home for those days in the year when his presence was required the most. He wanted for nothing in his life and he grew with an intense sense of family and it was this bond that ultimately swayed his entire decision making process. He could play basketball anywhere, and his learning was not limited to what he was taught at school. However, if he was playing basketball in Texas or gaining an education in California he couldn't so easily make it home for a single innocuous day that fell during the first semester of the school year.

At eighteen Conan James Rizzoli-Isles was the tallest in his family, he stood at six foot two and had shed the boyish looks for solid chiselled features and a spattering of dark facial hair as he attempted to grow a goatee. His midnight black hair was cropped relatively short, but his most striking feature he inherited from his biological mother; contemplative eyes that would flicker between hazel and green.

The fact was October ninth didn't mean anything to him beyond what it meant to his Ma. For her it was the heartbreakingly worst day of the year, each and every year and if she was hurting, he was hurting; that was life as a Rizzoli. Because of this he knew he couldn't go too far away to study; she needed him and it was his duty to remind her of the life they had built for themselves.

Three hundred and sixty four days in the year his mother was a pillar of strength; a decorated Boston Police Department Lieutenant fast headed towards retirement, but one who still showed the new generation how it was done. He was constantly awed by his Ma through the years, the battles she fought and won were impressive to say the least; but he knew it was the battle she couldn't win that still haunted her to this day. It was why he was home and not on campus.

He slipped his key into the lock and let himself in quietly, never really sure what to expect on this day, just that usually it wasn't pretty. He kicked off his boots depositing them by the door, before removing his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. He padded softly through the foyer and into the open planned living room and kitchen area. "Ma," he called softly.

Jane Rizzoli sat on a stool leaning over the kitchen island, sifting through the pages of a scrapbook that sent her back twenty years into the past. Her fingers reverently traced her companion in each and every photograph, before turning to the next page. Tears streamed freely down her face and while she managed the odd smile at memories of times gone by, she let the sadness squeeze her chest on this day; it was the only day she would allow the sadness to overwhelm her, but she needed to remember. She never wanted to forget; it was her biggest fear.

"Ma," he repeated, this time bringing his hand to rest on her shoulder.

She turned and looked into the concerned eyes of her son before quickly averting her gaze. It was always difficult for her to look at his eyes on this day; they were too much like his mother's. "Hey CJ," she offered weakly before turning back to the scrapbook.

Recognising the intensity of the sadness that had already built within his mother he stood behind her and hugged her tightly. He knew his mother's fears and he wanted to allay them. "You won't ever forget Mom, Ma."

"I wish you'd have gotten the chance to know her kid, she'd be so proud of you." Jane deflected with a delicacy she wasn't usually known for.

CJ cleared his throat in an attempt to remove the lump that had started forming the moment he had witnessed his Ma's tears. "I do know her Ma; you made sure of that. Plus, you know there's that crazy long letter she wrote for me." It had been a shock to both CJ and his mother when the attorney for the Isles Estate had presented him with a letter and documents for his trust fund on his eighteenth birthday.

Jane chuckled and shrugged out of her son's grasp; there was only so long she would let anybody hug her and the limit had been reached. "Maura was always so damn wordy," she exhaled sadly, "And prepared for pretty much anything."

"I don't think she was ever prepared for you though, was she Ma?" CJ asked with a knowing smirk as he made his way around the island over to the cupboard to pull out a box of Lucky Charms.

Jane watched as her son poured some of the sugary cereal treat into a bowl and added milk. The action triggered a memory of the day everything changed and an involuntary shudder shot down her spine. "She wouldn't have approved of that cereal choice kid; too much sugar and empty carbs or something, but hey you're an athlete I don't think one bowl will hurt ya."

"With how healthy I do eat, I doubt she would have batted an eyelid. Knowing your diet, I'm not surprised she badgered you about the Lucky Charms." Teasing his mother was one of the ways he liked to bring her out of her funk, plus it was straight out fun.

Jane rolled her eyes, closed the scrap book and deadpanned; "There's a reason kale is a dirty word in this household."

CJ shook his head with a smile and padded over to the couch. "Come on Ma it's time for a trip down memory lane."

She heaved a heavy sigh before joining her son on the couch. It had been their tradition for as long as she could remember; sit down with one another on the anniversary of Maura's death and he would listen as she told him something new about the biological mother he had never known. This time was different because she decided it was time he knew the complete truth of how he came to be and the relationship she had shared with his mother.

He knew that she had loved his mother and their intimacy had never been denied, but there was a lot more to the story of Jane Rizzoli falling in love with Maura Isles than CJ had ever been told. She lost time with Maura that she could have had if only fear hadn't ruled her heart.

In fact, she was fairly certain that if it weren't for Maura's cancer diagnosis she would probably still be buried so far in denial that CJ wouldn't exist and that was a thought that gripped her heart with such an intense sadness that she tried not to think about how things worked out the way they did. It was hard at times to reconcile the thought of Maura still being in her life at the expense of having experienced the feeling of true love and the son that stemmed from that. She missed her best friend and soul mate so much there was a constant knot in her chest; but she had been shown what it was to love and to be loved, something she would never change regardless the pain.

"Damnit," she cursed, "Why do I always end up feeling like I'm in an episode of How I Met Your Mother?"

CJ cocked his head to the side much like his mother would do when she considered something seriously. "I already know that, Mom thought you were a hooker."

Jane chuckled at the memory of her first meeting with Maura before taking a moment to educate her son on 21st century pop culture. "Yeah, but you see How I Met Your Mother was as much about Ted and Robin's love story than anything else and that's how I feel right now, cause you don't know the true story behind my falling in love with your mother."

His eyes were glued to his Ma's when he shrugged and said, "I thought you told me you always loved her?"

"Well yeah, that's true too but that's the easy story. I feel like I should tell you what really happened; because I want you to know CJ that love is the only emotion you should hold onto. Let hatred, anger and fear roll off your shoulders because in the end, as long as you have love you'll go far." She fought the urge to roll her eyes at the fact she sounded like a Hallmark card.

He finished his mouthful of sugary goodness before responding, "Okay, so hold on to love; got it!"

"Yeah, hold onto it no matter where it comes from, because sometimes it's fleeting and I don't want you to miss out like I did kid."

Between the tone of his Ma's voice and the far away look in her eyes he knew it was time to pay full attention. He reached over to the coffee table to put his bowl down then turned on the cushion, crossing his legs underneath himself so he could pay full attention. "A'ight Ma I'm all ears."

A/N: I have a vision, and it's going to be awkward and a little unusual as we flashback to Jane and Maura twenty years prior, but this is the kind of story that will require patience to understand the full picture. Yes, it's a sad one, Maura is long deceased, but will be in the majority of this story during flashbacks. This won't be a daily updater because I still need to finish Catch 22 (although once that is complete, this will become primary focus)... but my brain would not let me work on Catch 22 if I did not first get this out there.

Thoughts? Do you want to read more? Thank you for reading.