I wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Peeta wraps his arms around me.
Say the list, Katniss. Everything's fine."
"Ok, ok." I try and calm down, "My name is Katniss Mellark. I am thirty-two years old. I survived the Hunger Games, I married Peeta, we have two kids, and there are no more Games."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"It was terrifying Snow was alive and Effie was doing the reaping. She picked Johanna and then picked Cinna next!" I begin to cry.
"I'm sorry, honey. Thank God the Games are finished." His arms still are still around me.
"Thank you, Peeta."
"No problem." He falls asleep again and eventually I do.
I wake up to the new kitten we got for Johanna, who we named Buttercup, scratching at the door.
"Good morning Peeta." I say and I turn to see him. He smiles at me.
"Are you going to get Buttercup? Or will I have to?" he asks.
"Could you?"
"I do everything!" he says teasingly. We kiss, and he gets up and opens the door. Buttercup trots in and jumps on the bed.
"Oh, no you don't." I pick him up and plop him back down on the floor. I hear Peeta making the dough for our family's breakfast. I can taste it now. Maybe he'll make me cheese buns for my lunch.
I become fully awake when I hear two sets of pounding feet running to my room. I brace myself for the invasion, and at the same time, the two small bodies, one bigger than the other spring into the air, aiming for the bed. The smaller one exclaims, "Mommy!" Cinna almost misses the bed, but I scoop him up just in time. He hugs me then jumps on the least expecting dark haired child. "You almost missed the bed, Cinnamon." Johanna says, her blue eyes twinkling as she easily pins the five year old down.
"Behave you two," I say laughing, "Go jump on Daddy for a little bit." They scamper off, Cinna indignantly insisting his name is not Cinnamon, and Johanna calling him that anyways. I roll my eyes and the unceasing battle and get ready for my work day. I braid my hair down my back and put on black pants with a blue button down shirt. I slip on comfortable black shoes and head to the kitchen. The smell of bread overwhelms the entire vicinity.
"Katniss, did you forget no one's working today?"
"Why?" I ask, because I can't recall a reason. He pulls out the bread from the oven, but it's not our usual bread. It's tinted green, like the bread from District Four, and then it hits me, "Remembrance Day." I say softly.
"Better pin this on, don't you think?" In his hands, Peeta has the Mockingjay pin. Over the years there has been thousands of duplicates, it is even on Panem's new flag. But there is only one original, and the girl on fire only wears once a year. Johanna watches Peeta attach it to me knowingly. Cinna only sees the small gold pin as something important to his mommy and daddy. Peeta embraces me and I see tears in his eyes, this is too much for me, and I think of everyone. Prim, Rue, Finnick, Cinna, and now Haymitch is gone after the terrible train crash. Dead. Gone. The tears have begun to fall and I hazard a glance at the children. Johanna looks at me deeply saddened, knowing, but not truly understanding. All of a sudden, precious little Cinna runs up, hugging my leg,
"Don't cry Momma! Everything is oh-tay now." I wipe my tears away, pick up my little boy, who I am glad I had despite the nightmares I receive because of him, and set him in a chair at the table. Johanna sets up the table and Peeta puts the bread on the plates. Johanna looks at the loaf warily, taken aback by the green color, but Cinna bites right into it, "Mm! This is good. Daddy, why don't you make it more?"
" It's special bread, Cinna. If I make it more often, it loses its specialness." Johanna takes a nibble and is surprised by the saltiness, but takes a bigger bite after. "What makes it so special?" she asks.
"It's from District Four, and the man you were named after," Peeta looks at Cinna and continues, "shared a loaf with us a long time ago when we needed it."
"Cinna? I thought he made clothes." Cinna said a little disgusted.
"Not Cinna. Your middle name is Trident after a man named Finnick. He carried a trident with him, and Cinna was very brave, young man, he saved my life."
He rolls his big round gray eyes at me, "Everyone saved your life, Mommy."
Peeta and Johanna crack up. "At least I didn't name you 'Pumpernickel' like someone wanted." I glance over at Peeta, who is red in the face, "I liked that name." he says sheepishly.
"I'm glad Mommy named me." Cinna says looking alarmed at Peeta. It's my turn to have the laugh and Johanna and I start to chuckle heartily. Good natured Peeta joins in after a while. We don't stop until pipes up and says, "What are we remembering today?"
"Well, Cinna Trident, we are remembering some people that left us a long time ago." Peeta says.
"Where did they go, Dad?" Johanna asks earnestly.
"To a good place, Jo. We will see them again someday." He reassures her. That is why I agreed to have children. He is elegant and confident with his words; I would falter and would probably end up telling the children too much. "Cinna may have to find out earlier than Johanna did." I whisper to Peeta.
"In a year or two, Katniss." He says gently back.
"I have a good idea to celebrate Remembrance Day!" I say a little over enthusiastically.
"What!" Cinna and Johanna exclaims eagerly.
"Let's go to the Meadow." I turn to Peeta and he nods in agreement. We finish our special breakfast and get ready for the walk.
"Johanna Orchard! Hurry!" I call. She runs out of her room and joins us outside. "Shut the door, Jo!" Peeta notices right before we are about to leave. She jogs back and snaps the door shut. Peeta reaches out for my hand and I take it. Johanna grabs my other, and Cinna takes hold of his father's. I begin to sing softly:
Deep in the Meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise.
The children and Peeta join in:
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm…