this is a story made for the poetry for prompt challenge by Schermionie in the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum. Schermionie was my beta, and believe me, without her, this story would've been a wreck. so thanks a lot Scrunchy!

As I dig for wild orchids,

In the autumn fields.

It is the deeply bedded root that I desire,

Not the flower.

Every time I look at him, I feel a wave of affection, a feeling that everything's alright, but then not. His perfect face, all I can stare at when I'm with him. He made it all so right on the surface. But I don't know if this is love. What is love? There's just something that doesn't feel right. Ron, sweet Ron… Yes, I am completely smitten by him. But it's just love on the outside, if you know what I mean. We hardly talk about our feelings or anything, we almost never talk really. But what can I do?

Despite all that, everything carries on normally for me. Maybe that's also a sign that there is something wrong about my relationship with the famous red-headed Weasley. Shouldn't I be thinking about him? Like now, for instance. While walking down the hallway, I'm barely thinking about anything -- almost impossible, yes. It's just that I don't even know what to think about… Nothing seems offbeat or interesting at all.

I'm just staring into blank space when I remember that I've forgotten my Charms textbook. I spin around and bump into a guy. A Hufflepuff guy I think.I'm so embarrassed, being caught daydreaming about nothing and all, that I don't look into his eyes. That is, until he helps me gather my things -- I just have to see who it is. So, it's Justin Finch-Fletchley. My heart skips a beat, but what does it mean?I mean, I've only talked to him on rare occasions, not talking if it's not necessary.

"I'm sorry, Lavender. I'm really, really sorry..."

"Hm? What? Oh, no, it's no problem."

He smiles, and there's something about it. "So why did you change your tracks?" he asks curiously.

"Uhh, I forgot my charms textbook." I say, thinking of how I'd meant to ask Ron if he wanted to study with me.

"OH! Right… Well, you can take mine. I guess it's the textbook right?"

"Yeah… But, no, thanks, I'll just go get it myself."

"Well, at least let me accompany you there…"

"Now that I can live with." I joked. He just laughed it off. We walked back to Charms class together; I had a whole new point of view of him.

Time's so short and unfair: it's not long before I have the textbook in my hands and am ready to leave, but, after a dramatic -- somehow romantic -- pause, he takes hold of my wrist and looks deep into my eyes, while he cocked his head slightly to one side. "Do you want to grab something to eat before continuing whatever you're doing? I nod, twisting my lips with pure glee.

"Great!"

And that's the last word he says before I realize nothing will be the same again.

------------

I run to the Gryffindor common room, feeling all the joy in the world, only to find Ron sitting on the comfy couch near the fire.

"Lav, we need to talk." It doesn't take any analysis to know something's coming up.

"Sure," I whisper as I sit down opposite him."

"We've had good times, but there's something wrong."

"I agree." I answered curtly, feeling the anger that's growing inside me, but at the same time the tears that are about to spill. "So... what do you say if we... just end this now?" I smile bitterly and look down at the rug, but then look into his eyes again.

I feel pain. Anger. …Relief.

I stand up, feeling strong, and walk towards him. I kiss him goodbye on the cheek and look at his puzzled face with tears in my eyes; then, I slap him.

"Ouch." Plain Ron.

"Sorry, just thought I needed to let it out, and better now than later, when it'll be very weird."

"I guess... Well, goodnight, Lavender...?" I realize he's dropping his nickname for me and sigh, but decide to follow his lead. "Good night, Ronald."

I don't know why I cry that night, seeing how I'd known there was something wrong with Ron and me, but never really had a clue what it was.

But it just... hurts.

I can't even tell my roommates --or sister-- everything, for Hermione is Ron's friend and she's been acting very weird lately, and Padma just won't understand, while Parvati will make everything spread like wildfire across the school -- even my deepest, darkest confessions.

------------

"Hey." Justin comes up to me as I play idly with my drink in the Great Hall.

"Hey."

"I heard about your break-up." He gets straight to the point.

"Yeah. No big deal."

"But you've been stressed out lately."

"I'm just trying to adjust myself."

"Is there anything that I can help with?" I hesitate for a moment, but blurt everything out in the next second. "Do you ever feel confused? Angry, sad, but happy all at the same time? Do you ever not know what to do? Are you ever ashamed of your friends, just wanting to shut yourself away from everyone else, but craving some company all the while? Do you ever feel that hole in your heart just waiting to be healed?"

"No. But I know how it feels to love someone taken, getting closer to her but just knowing I can never have her... until now..."

I look into his suddenly appealing eyes. I never shared any meaningful conversations with Ron, except for that last one. A horrible meaning that had though...

"Is there anything that I can help with?" I repeat his statement.

"Yes."

"Hm?"

"Never leave my side." He looks at me sincerely, the first time any guy has done so.

"Okay."

"This could be the start of a wonderful relationship." He beams my way.

"I know…" I look his way as I rest my chin in my hands, elbows on the table. "Believe me, I know..."

DONE! it's quite short but I hope it's okay. I'm way behind due date (tho Scrunchy insists that there's no due date).. so, sorry again Scrunchy! I hope it's a good fanfic to read :) ...and thank you for reading! please review if you will