A/N: Remember the LM episode entitled "I Do, I Don't"? That was the episode that dealt with Mrs. Stebel's 7th grade pretend marriage assignment. Did you ever wonder what the future would have been like in Lizzie world if everyone actually did end up marrying his or hers 'designated spouse' from said assignment? What if they also ended up with their assigned occupations? Let's look ahead at the gang 20 years in the future. They might even have some sort of reunion.

I've had this twisted idea bouncing around in my head for a long time. Now that I've finally gotten around to writing it down I hope I can do it justice.

Disclaimer: Disney's property, my foolishness, and I really wish we could see Lalaine on television again. She should have her own series and I think it should be near a beach.

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I Do Not! I Really, Really Don't!

Chapter 1

The metallic blue Ford Explorer, with a beige leather interior and vanity plates reading 'MRS DR', screeched to a stop in one of the few remaining parking spaces behind the Hillridge County Courthouse. The woman driving the SUV had been here before, too many times in fact. What does it say about your life when your husband being sued for medical malpractice due to incompetence is a common occurrence?

Miranda Craft (she no longer found the moniker 'Mrs. Dr. Ethan Craft' even remotely amusing) climbed out of the SUV and quickly locked the rig via her key ring remote. She wasn't too thrilled with the parking spot she ended up with, way back here in the corner of the lot near the courthouse dumpsters, but there were few other options. Miranda chuckled quietly to herself about the lettering on the large trash bins, which read; "Gordo's Waste and Recycling: Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Trash Back"

As Miranda walked around the courthouse to the building's main entrance, she happened to notice that both her husband's and his attorney's cars were already parked in the lot. Seeing this, she picked up her pace a little hoping that she wasn't already late. Miranda also noted that her doofus husband had once again parked in a handicap parking space. Oh well, what's a measly 200 dollar parking ticket when you're already being sued for over a quarter of a million?

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Miranda Sanchez had married Ethan Craft, Hillridge High Schools resident hunk, star quarterback and all around remedial academic after the two of them graduated from college. That's right. Ethan actually attended and graduated from an accredited college. Well sort of accredited anyway. After receiving rejection letter upon rejection letter from highly regarded schools including USC, UCLA, Stanford and Bowling Green University, Ethan was finally accepted to Bowling Pin University on a full ride football scholarship. Ethan led the Bowling Pin Gutter Balls to three straight bowl games including a victory over arch rival Texas Hold'em State in the prestigious Purina Catnip Bowl.

While Ethan was off being the BMOC football star, Miranda stayed at home attending Hillridge Community College studying to be a cruise ship singer, a concert violinist, and of course a homemaker. Miranda wrote or E-Mailed Ethan each and everyday that he was away, keeping him up to date on the many happenings of Hillridge. When Ethan finally graduated the two were married, but not before Ethan had broken some very big news to Miranda.

It seems Ethan had developed an interest in medicine during his football years, while helping several of his teammates ice their bruised bodies. In a truly remarkable twist of fate, simpleton Ethan had somehow been accepted to attend medical school! So the newlyweds relocated to Billings, Montana. It was there in beautiful Big Sky country that Ethan attended The Montana School of Auto Body, Plumbing and Internal Medicine. In a mere sixteen months Ethan graduated from MSABPIM with an MD and a minor in Kitchens & Baths.

The couple then moved back to Hillridge where Ethan began his residency working at Hillridge General Hospital. Ethan truly started at the bottom. His first responsibilities as a staff physician included moping the OR floor and restocking surgical supplies. Still not the brightest bulb on the tree, Ethan didn't mind doing these tasks at all. He was just glad to finally be doing some real "docta' stuff".

Over the next few years Ethan gradually moved up the ladder and became a general practitioner. Then one day, while looking over the shoulder of a colleague who was reading an MRI, Ethan saw the photographic image of a gall bladder. It was love at first sight! Ethan now realized his true calling was to become a surgeon, where he could see gall bladders and appendixes and all those "coolie organ thingies" up close.

So back to school our hero went. By this time Ethan and Miranda had two girls, Gwyneth and Brittany. Money was a little tight with Ethan back in school, but the couple made do. Miranda found part time work at Burger Buddy providing entertainment as a strolling violinist. She also lurked about the docks and piers down at the waterfront each night, occasionally finding a fill-in vocalist position on some seedy cruise ship.

Finally, after another year and a half of schooling and upon completing a second residency at Hillridge General, Dr. Ethan Craft was a surgeon. In no time at all Ethan was ranked among the top 550 surgeons in Hillridge County. Ethan's specialty was operating on "big things" because "they're easier to get at".

As time went on, Ethan gradually switched his practice to cosmetic surgery. Ethan believed his 'skills' were more needed in this area after coming to the realization that not everyone was as good looking as he was. (Or at least as good looking as he thought he was.) Besides, why should a successful doctor spend all of his time around sick people? Ethan found doing "enhancements" on attractive women much more to his liking.

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When Miranda reached the magnificent marble front steps of the courthouse she found, to no great surprise, a media circus. Ethan's trials and tribulations as a surgeon of questionable ability were well documented throughout the suburban community of Hillridge and beyond. It actually would have been surprising if the media hadn't shown. As it was reporters and mini-cams from the four network affiliates as well as a crew from CNN were on hand.

Miranda turned away and tried to shield her profile when a reporter from one of the local stations looked her way. But it was too late; she'd already been spotted. Kate Sanders-Tudgeman, lead anchorwoman at Channel 3 and rising national media diva, had been subtly lying low, anticipating Miranda's arrival.

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Miranda and Kate had a turbulent history that dated back to their days at Hillridge Middle School. From 7th grade on the two had been bitter rivals. Well 'rivals' probably isn't the right word for it, more like cutthroat adversaries. All through middle school and later in high school the two had fought over everything from guys (Ethan) to fashion trends (just who did buy that orange skirt first?) to social status (cheerleader or not?). And now, even as adults, their relationship was still caustic. To compound matters, in what was still unknown to Miranda, Kate had her eyes once again set on Ethan. But could you really blame her? Kate had been married to Larry Tudgeman for over twelve years. After that long of a time with the 'Tudge' you'd probably be considering adultery yourself.

So just how did Miss Popularity, Kate Sanders, come to marry Larry 'Least Likely to Shower Regularly', Tudgeman? As they say all marriages are made in heaven. Well in this case that means heaven can sometimes be a drunken stupor. It may have been heaven for Larry, not so much for Kate.

After graduating from high school both Kate and Larry ended up attending Thousand Island/Creamy Ranch State College right in their hometown of Hillridge. Larry, who at one time hoped to pursue a career in the sciences, at the last minute decided against going to MIT and enrolled in TICRS's hardly regarded postal workers independent study program. Kate, following her large ego, took up broadcast journalism. As it turned out the two of them were the only Hillridge grads from their class to stay home and attend TICRS. This small coincidence in due time led to a most unfortunate event.

While in college, not surprisingly, 'The Tudge' pledged a fraternity within the geek, er ... rather Greek system. (Specifically dTp, which may translate to JEDI but could just as easily mean DWEEB) On the night of his senior year's frat house mixer, Larry, and a 'surprised to find him there' visitor named Kate Sanders, downed several rounds of rum and cokes long after the final keg was empty. One thing lead to another and without getting too graphic here, (after all LM was at least intended to be a children's show and we are talking about Tudgeman here) well anyway, a few weeks later Kate found herself with a little 'Tudge' in the oven.

Larry wanted to do the right thing, which at least in his mind, was to announce this happening to the world via the Internet. What could possibly be bigger news in all of geek world then one of there own scoring with one of the popular elite? (Larry was not just a dork he was a very insensitive dork.)

Kate, for her part, was a cornucopia (good word huh?) of mixed emotions; Anger, remorse, rage, fear, disgust, depression, resentment, exasperation, fury and surprisingly delight. Delight? Yes. Kate Sanders actually, at least in a small way, liked the idea of becoming a mother. How this instinctive motherly need overcame her lifelong loathing of Larry Tudgeman is difficult to grasp. But what is known is that right after college graduation Larry and Kate were married by a Hillridge County Justice of The Peace. Larry of course wore his Star Trek Commander uniform.

Kate and Larry did indeed become parents. Six months after the couple's wedding Lisa Tudgeman arrived in this world in the usual way. Fortunately Lisa looked a lot more like Kate then Larry. But as the girl grew older it became clear she had Larry's intelligence, fortunately she disliked Star Trek with a passion. Lisa's grandmother, (Larry's mother) Ethyl Tudgeman, kept little Lisa well stocked in white blouses with green collars. Lisa ended up being Larry and Kate's only child. One child was more then enough for Kate who had ambitious career plans to pursue. Oh yeah, she also swore to never get that close to Larry again.

Kate Sanders-Tudgeman began her journalism career at a local top 40 radio station, WEBE FM (WEBE, We-Be Jamming). Being a music station WEBE had a very small news budget. Kate was essentially a one-person news department. She excelled at her job and quickly became known around town as a hard working, if not overbearingly rude, reporter who always got the story. Television offers soon followed.

After a short stay at the local CBS affiliate, Kate accepted an offer as the lead anchor at Channel 3, NBC's connection to Hillridge. Several fill-in opportunities on the "Today Show" soon followed. Kate was quickly climbing the media ladder and anyone else with their fingers on the rungs best get out of the way. About that same time dear husband Larry had just received a promotion of his own. Larry had just been given his first mail delivery route. The 'Tudge' was also on his way, no more meaningless sorting for this Dwarflord Commander.

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Kate and her crew had been lying in wait for the arrival of her childhood 'friends' Ethan and Miranda since close to dawn, even though Ethan's pre-trial hearing wasn't scheduled to begin until 9:00 am. If past history meant anything it was unlikely this case would actually go to trial, Ethan's attorneys had established a reputation of reaching out of court settlements. Kate realized this morning might be her one and only opportunity to interview the principal players.

At a little after 8:00 Ethan and his attorney arrived. This presented Kate with the chance for an exclusive with the defendant. Kate was very professional throughout the Q&A even though she'd found herself with Ethan on the brain a lot during the past few weeks. Why this was she really wasn't sure herself. But after seeing him up close the attraction was as strong as ever. Man that guy still has the hair and the body! It's about time he takes that mongrel pooch Miranda to the kennel where she belongs. Then Ethan and I can be together, just as destiny dictates all beautiful people should be!

Kate also had the opportunity to speak with Ethan's lead defense council. Not at all surprisingly, she declined. You see one Elizabeth Brooke Gordon now represented Ethan. Or, as Elizabeth was better known from Kate's past, Lizzie McGuire. Just as Kate and Miranda had a history, so did Kate and Lizzie. So when Ethan and Lizzie approached the courthouse that morning, Kate quickly snagged the interview with Ethan while at the same time ignoring Lizzie with all the charm of a rattlesnake.

Kate realized that interviewing Lizzie would have forced her to acknowledge Lizzie's successful career; that wasn't going to happen. Miranda however was a different matter. Interviewing Miranda would allow Kate the opportunity to humiliate her with the details of her husband's troubles and hopefully reveal some marital problems. Oh yes, Kate was well rehearsed. So when she spotted Miranda arriving an hour later, Kate swooped in with the tenacity of another desert creature, The Black Vulture.

"Oh, hi Miranda, It's so good to see you! Do you 'spose we can do a quick interview for my viewers? They so much want to hear what you have to say!"

Miranda, wanting nothing to do with Kate in the best of times, sure wasn't about to speak with her about her husband's legal woes. Oh, yeah, then there was the part about their conversation being played back on the evening news. Not bloody likely.

"I'm sorry Kate, I'm late already, can't stop now, maybe later. Bu-Bye!"

With that Miranda raced up the steps and into the courthouse. Once inside she leaned back against the closed door and closed her eyes, wishing that this new day was already over.

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(To be continued)