A/N: Normally, I can be found writing for Jimmy Neutron or Hannah Montana, but both fandoms have kinda fallen apart. Then I saw Kick-Ass 2, but could never think of anything to add to their fandom. Then I saw Frozen three times in three weeks, and I'd like to see it once more before it leaves theaters and I have to wait for the BluRay version to come out. Elsa captivated me from the start of the film, not because she's got the powers, but because she's so goddamned PRETTY. I'm the eldest of three siblings, I'm dating a girl who's got Anna's hyperactivity, and as such I identify rather strongly with her. That said, while I do believe that Frozen didn't live up to its hype and had an overall weak storyline with little to no back-story, I loved it all the same and now sing the songs at my house on a regular basis.
I talk too much. I suppose my writer's block and want of being accepted by this fandom are kinda showing. Maybe I'm more like Anna than Elsa after all. Eh, she's cute too. DISNEY, WHY ARE YOUR CHARACTERS ALWAYS SO GORGEOUS?
Anyways, this is a story I had an idea for...and it's an Elsanna pairing...and I'm not ashamed...So, yeah. Rated T for Tentative.
This Calling
Chapter 1: Born Of Cold
"Elsa?"
Knock, knock, knock-knock, knock.
The door to Arendelle Castle's study opened on oiled hinges, giving way to a blonde-haired woman with a confused scrunch upon her round, pale face.
"Anna, what is it?"
"It's today, Elsa."
"Today?" Sapphire eyes blinked in non-recognition. "I'm aware that it is today, Anna, just as yesterday was yesterday and tomorrow will surely be tomorrow."
"No, Elsa," the exasperated younger sister chuckled. "Not like that. Today is the day."
Elsa watched as her sister tucked one wily red strand of hair away from the cinnamon dusting across her cheeks. She blinked once again.
"And, exactly which day is that, Anna?"
Aquamarine eyes proceeded to roll as a gentle curl slipped into Anna's smile. She nodded her head once at the only window in the room, a large expanse of glass divided into multiple smaller squares by polished mahogany bracers. The lithe frame of the elder woman slipped toward the window, effortless steps of practiced grace brushing against the silk of the dress draped over her shoulders. She cast a critical eye over the square below, observing the courtyard with a furrow to her brow.
"What exactly am I-"
There. In the harbor, at the dock, nestled into the groin of sand that deflected tidal waves from flooding the townsfolk from their seafairing homes, rested a beautiful ship, cherry in color, ivory white in sail, blue and orange in flag.
"It...it can't be today already!"
Off in the distance, a small handful of ships drifted toward the kingdom across the calmest sea Arendelle had seen in many long years. Elsa laid a delicate hand on the glass, her breath frosting the window as she leaned closer.
"Elsa, the window."
The panes of glass had begun to sparkle with a layer of frozen mist radiating outward from the offending palm. She stepped back, chancing a light gasp. Red hair bounced into her vision, a quaint smile on its owner's face.
"Yes, Elsa."
"Anna, no, it can't be! I-I'm not ready!"
"Elsa, this was supposed to take place almost a month ago back at your coronation."
"It can't, Anna. They all think I'm a monster."
"The Duke of Weaseltown-"
"Weselton."
"Weaseltown, was the only one to say that about you. Him and, well..."
"Hans?"
"Yes. Hans."
The scowl that had captured Anna's features slipped slowly down her cheeks and off her chin, leaving an unreadable mask across her face. "But this, choosing a royal husband, was supposed to be a part of your Coronation as Queen of Arendelle."
"Oh, why couldn't father have had a son to fret over this?"
A warm, gentle hand slipped over Elsa's cool cheek, thumb brushing across the light pink blush powdered on the high, regal bone beneath. "Because daddy was blessed enough to have a beautiful daughter capable of handling it all with her head up and her chin out."
Elsa's pale complexion became more rosy, though Anna hadn't smeared her cosmetics. The trail of hair that had ailed the redhead previously hung once more alongside her cheek, making the quaint smile and sparkling eyes of Elsa's younger sister seem all the more charming, though the word that she would have chosen were it permitted would have been 'adorable.'
Her mind drifted backwards, spinning through time to the fateful day, the eye of the storm she never thought she'd see. Clear, in her mind's eye, the memory of the most painful experience of her short, sheltered life.
"Your sister is dead! Because of you!"
She felt the words clamor against her eardrums, splitting her aching heart into tiny fragments of disbelief and fear. Her muscles tightened, eyes widened, her hair stiffened in the electricity of the moment.
She let one breath loose, and the blizzard dropped to a shattered standstill of icy snowflakes and floating hailstones, a scream ripping her throat apart as her legs gave out. She struck the ice hard, bruising a numb wrist and knee, all energy gone as she began to sob.
"Your sister is dead! Because of you!"
Echoes. Screams. The terrified eyes of the infant she'd frightened in the courtyard. The bristling backs of the wolves she'd cast off. The angry red cracks in the facets of her ice palace. The sheer terror in Kristoff's irises at seeing Marshmallow's rage. The gape on Olaf's pallid face.
The anguish of her sister's thunderstruck face at being shut out, once again, by her own sister.
Things Elsa couldn't take back. Things she couldn't undo. The suffering she'd inflicted upon her people, her only sister, her mother and father at keeping her locked away, a danger to everything and everyone. She'd been selfish to feel so free at the north mountain. She had heartlessly frozen the entire kingdom of Arendelle into one icy snowglobe, trapped forever by subzero temperatures and unmoving flurries.
You'll never see me cry, she'd once said. Her eyes welled. 'No...no, no no no NO NO!'
Two pearls slid from each eye, crystalizing in the frosty air. The cold never bothered me anyway. Clarity brought the harsh reality down upon her quaking shoulders, and with a heave, she retched, dry sobs echoing across the frozen lake. She wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth anything. She was a freak, a monster, a demon, the resurrected Lucifer from the ninth circle of Dante's legendary inferno, hell's angel awakened and unleashed upon the world with a violent winter fury to storm any Bastille in its path. She was beyond redemption. She wasn't worth anything.
She felt, when everything and nothing collided within her and numbed her frozen heart from the inside out, that she didn't deserve to live. Anna did. She, who had always been so excitable and genuine, the apple of everyone's eye, the princess whose naivete had gotten her into and out of trouble at every opportunity, was the one who should be alive.
Anna. Not Elsa. Anna was a joyful child with a heart of gold. Elsa was a frozen wretch not worthy of any sympathy or mercy.
She heard the distinct metallic ring of metal sliding against metal, knew without seeing that Hans stood behind her, blade at the ready, prepared to aid her in making her pay for the suffering of her kingdom, of her parents, of her sister.
"Go ahead," she whispered to the man above her. The end was nigh.
Clumsy steps. A harsh cry. The sound of air freezing directly into ice. The twisted screech of metal shredding into pieces.
The blur in Elsa's memory was consistent each time it haunted her nightmares: Anna, with the heart of gold, had been turned to solid ice, shielding her older sister, protecting the one who'd caused such tragedy to so many helpless souls. Anna, the pure young woman, had protected her wicked older sister, displaying loyalty to the very end for a woman who felt she didn't deserve such.
"Anna!" No no no no no NO NO NO NO ANNA NO COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK god damnit anna no ANNA my SISTER COME BACK back come please to me TO ME TO ME PLEASE anna my sister please GOD DAMNIT NO!
The Queen of Arendelle, brought to her knees, wept with abandon as she hung draped over her sister's body like a dirty rag on a polished silver hook. Nothing could or would ever bring her sister back from the world beyond life, a frozen hell in a barren wasteland.
And then...a breath.
Lub-dub. Lub-dub.
"Anna?"
With tears speckling her eyes and freckles, the blonde squeezed her sister into her arms, crushing their beating hearts together just to reassure herself that the beautiful red-haired woman who'd saved her life was, in fact, alive and breathing. A soft chuckle met her ear.
"Hi, Elsa," she whispered.
They separated enough to gaze into the other's eyes.
"But...why?"
Anna flopped her shoulders. "I love you," she said.
Against anything Elsa could have hoped for in her life, Anna had been her savior and had forgiven her for everything. A shy smile graced the blonde's features, and her cheeks warmed in spite of the atmosphere.
"Only true love can thaw a frozen heart," she heard Olaf gasp in realization. Love.
"Love will thaw," she mused. Instantly, Anna's gleeful face broke into her mind's eye, and she reversed the winter's cataclysmic effects in a heartfelt tribute to the young woman standing beside her. She knew, at that moment, that having Anna by her side would make her whole. Love would thaw her frozen heart.
And it was this overwhelming sense of affection for her sister that had kept her shut up in the study for much of the preceeding month. She couldn't handle having Anna nearby, not when the woman who'd saved her life had claimed it was done out of love for her sister. Her sister. It was wrong enough that Elsa felt her body, her mind, her aching heart stirring for a member of her own gender, but for that stirring to further be for someone of her own bloodline was unspeakable. She'd tried reasoning with herself that Anna only loved her as a sister, but it failed to quench the thirst within. She'd even done research and associated her amorous intuition with the inverse of the Florence Nightingale effect, but she'd known since before her fateful coronation that she felt something more than sisterly attachment. Part of her reasoned that it was wrong. Part of her reasoned that she was going through a phase. Part of her reasoned that her hormones had been in a roil. Part of her reasoned that she'd been alone for so long that any sign of attempted bonding from anyone would have sparked her interest.
But the biggest part of her knew that no amount of logic would ever conquer her overpowering infatuation with her younger sister, only three months an adult and with hair the color of hot embers. And with Anna's adorable face smiling gently at her from a mere five inches away, a warm hand to her cool cheek, Elsa felt no other desire than to thank her sister until her face turned blue (which wouldn't be difficult given her icy powers), then pepper her cinnamon-freckled face with angel kisses for being the sweetest sister any girl could ask for.
"Elsa?"
Concern. The queen blinked and twitched her head. "I'm okay," she breathed, releasing a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm okay, Anna. I promise."
"Well, then, let's get you to those suitors."
"But...what if Hans and the Duke weren't the only ones who think I'm a monster?"
She knew that while it was pathetic to fear such judgment when she had been told so frequently by Anna that she wasn't, the thought still left her unsettled. She looked up long enough to see a flicker of something leave Anna's eyes, replaced by a second unreadable expression. "I'm sure they'll love you, Elsa."
There was no mistaking the difficulty it took for Anna to say those six words through gritted teeth, but before Elsa could ask about it a butler poked his shiny head into the study.
"Queen Elsa of Arendelle Castle, your suitors await your arrival."
The queen nodded once, dismissing the staff to return to her sister's discussion, only to find that the young red-haired woman had disappeared. She sighed, a sound which seemed to echo in the empty room, rustling papers and tickling book bindings as it passed.
"How am I going to tell her the truth?"
xXxXx
"I'm sure they'll love you, Elsa." Just the way I do.
Anna had seen the swirling tirade of emotions in her sister's eyes moments before, knew without a doubt that the blasted memory of that hateful day had come back to haunt her, even in daylight. Anna knew how it bothered her sister, knew that every night for the past three weeks the queen had come to screaming bloody murder, crying her name, terrified in the dead of night that she'd lost her sister to the cold, that Hans had killed her, that any number of unspeakable horrors had come to pass. For Anna it had been simple: her sister meant more to her than a man who talked to reindeer and had beeen raised by trolls. Anna would sacrifice herself without fear or sorrow if it meant that her sister lived, and she would do so for the same reason she'd done the first time.
"I love you."
The three words she'd longed to say to her sister for years, words which had plagued her dreams through her childhood and adolescence. One simple phrase had her at its mercy. One small thing, yet she couldn't say it aloud to her own sister. Anna didn't care so much that it was considered taboo to be in love with her sister. What bothered her was fear.
Fear scared her. It should have seemed natural that Anna would be scared by fear, but fear wasn't an emotion she'd become familiar with prior to her sister's coronation. And even then, even after everything with Hans, with Marshmallow, with the Duke, what had scared Anna so badly was what would happen to Elsa. She had believed with almost every fiber of her being that her sister could make everything right and show everyone that she was a powerful woman who only had an unusual gift, not a monster in need of being slain.
But the quiet voice at the edge of her consciousness had asked, "And what if you're wrong?"
It was the fear for Elsa that scared her, not fear of her. It was this same fear that kept her quiet about her emotions, that had somewhat stifled her rambunctious nature, that had quieted the joyous cacophony she'd brought to every occasion.
Thus, when the well-timed butler had distracted her sister for that brief second, she sidestepped just out of Elsa's vision, darting for the door as soon as the shiny head disappeared, only just sliding out into the hallway to take deep, quiet breaths. Without really meaning to, Anna caught the sigh that her sister let slip, the cold breeze raising gooseflesh across her arms and shoulders, bare as they were in the mid-August heat.
"How am I going to tell her the truth?"
Anna crab-walked into the room next door, stepping just past the threshold and into the darkened room as her sister exited the study, a slow stride unable to disrupt the flow of her crystaline dress.
The truth? That she doesn't want to meet the suitors?
But that was far too obvious. Anna needed more information, needed to know what bothered the queen. With due haste, she snuck down the hallway and around the corner, taking great care to stay out of sight of her sister.
"...can't do this, I just can't go through with it. Oh, why can't this be as easy as it should be? Why must I..."
She darted around the hallway, dodging behind pillars and into empty rooms to stay as invisible as a red-haired woman with eager blue eyes and a silver-green dress possibly could among dark, hardwood panels and thick, red carpeting.
"...should be easier than this, what person in their right mind would make a Queen have to..."
Still not satisfied with the information, Anna continued tailing her sister toward the castle's courtyard entrance.
"...wish I could just tell Anna the truth."
The queen stopped in the middle of the hallway, unleashing an icy sigh upon the hall. Anna ducked behind a pillar.
The truth?
"Things would be so much easier if we weren't related."
Anna felt her heart grow colder than it had when she'd frozen into an ice sculpture. She couldn't contain the squeak of pain that slipped from her throat.
"Who's there?"
Anna clapped her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her dusted cheeks. She shook her head, unable to reply, to move, to do anything but slide down the pillar, dress billowing out across the carpet. She heard a sharp intake of breath, followed by cautious steps that grew louder as they approached.
Light blue sparkles materialized in her peripheral vision. "A-Anna..."
The queen knelt before her silent sister, eyes wide. "H-how much of that...what did you hear?"
Anna couldn't speak. She found a surge of energy and forced her legs upright, the queen following suit.
"Anna, please! Talk to me."
Slap!
Anna had no memory of swinging her arm. She had no memory of pulling her hand from her face. But what she knew was that her palm stung with the pain of striking her sister's pale cheek, adorning it with a bright red handprint.
Elsa recoiled, fingers grazing her cheek as it showed an angry red splotch. Anna had never been violent.
Both sisters knew, right at that moment, that Elsa had gone one step too far with her muttering, and that the damage couldn't be undone.
"Anna, please, no, that was out of context."
Red hair whipped around, its owner running down the hall away from her sister. Elsa reached for a hand and held it fast by the wrist. A second stinging slap, this one to the back of her hand, and Anna was free again. Frightened out of her control, Elsa did the only thing she could think to do.
She froze the hallway and her sister's feet into one massive icicle, eliciting a shriek of indignation.
"Anna, stop it! I know what you heard, but it's not what you think."
Still, the frozen legs of her sister struggled. Anna had to get free, to run away, to escape her sister's harsh words.
"Anna!"
"NO!"
She whirled, snapping the ice from one foot as she spun. Elsa stopped in her tracks.
"You shut me out, Elsa! You abandoned me to fend for myself in this empty castle, not even knowing who my own sister is or when I'll see her again. You weren't there when momma and daddy were put into the ground, Elsa! You weren't there, not for them and not for me! And then, I find out you've got this, this...power and I STILL supported you through it and went to get you and bring your stubborn self back home with me! You froze my heart, Elsa; I died for you! I gave up everything I had because I love you, and now you're telling me that you don't want to be related to me!"
Sobs wracked the slender frame, shoulders heaving, nose running, eyes puffy and red. "I gave you everything! I gave you my life, Elsa!"
She snapped the other foot from the ice, two solid bricks of cold molded onto her feet that clunked when she walked. "And this is what I hear, Elsa? This, after...a-after everything, this..."
She turned, clunking slowly down the hallway toward the front doors. She felt Elsa's cool hand reach her shoulder, but without a second thought she spun and let loose a clenched fist.
With stinging knuckles for Anna and a busted lip with a bloody nose for Elsa, Anna shook her head and ran full tilt toward the doors, slamming them open and fleeing the courtyard through the open gates, ice splitting from her feet at every step.
And the tears littered a trail on the flagstone pathway, evaporating into the summer heat to hide all trace of Anna's grief.
xXxXx
Elsa sunk to her knees, the plush carpet sopping from its recent thaw. She cupped her bruised cheek in one hand, blood dribbling through her fingers and into the like-colored carpet.
"...thought I just saw Anna go through here. Queen Elsa?"
She looked up in time to see Kristoff, the blonde-haired ice harvester of Arendelle, step carefully through the doors into the castle. He blinked.
"Your Highness, what on earth happened?"
Elsa slowly got to her feet, lowering her hand to leave a bloody print on her iridescent dress. "Anna and I had a fight, and now she's gone." Her voice was level.
"Oh my...did she do that?"
The queen waved away his concern. "I'm fine, Kristoff. Do me a favor and find my sister. She and I...we need to have a talk."
He nodded once, not sure where to begin looking. "Will you be coming with, or attending to your suitors?"
She sighed. "I must stay here and explain why I cannot have any suitors at the moment, at least until the healer helps close this up."
He turned to leave.
"Kristoff."
Pause.
"When you find Anna..."
"My Lady, I have no idea if I'll even be able to find her; I don't know where she went."
"When you find her," the queen persisted, "tell her...tell her that I...that Elsa loves her...more than anything else in the world."
He blinked at the cryptic comment. "I'll do what I can."
I didn't mean for Kristoff to use Hans's comment at the end there, but...oops. Read into that how you will; it may or may not have an effect on the story. See you next time, my gentle snowflakes, and don't hesitate to read my other fics if you'd like. Yay advertising! ~Kyttin