Animaniacs: Remix

by mr. schned

When you've got a drug-addicted, alcoholic, chain-smoking guy with a dark past some very odd powers living next door to three siblings who are known for chaos, expect insanity and destruction. Rated M for Sexual Content, Major Language, Drug and Alcohol Use/Abuse, Smoking, and really bad stabs at characters from random franchises in the form of movie theater chatter.

1. Introduction

Animaniacs: Remix

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following characters, brands, franchises, or anything already claimed in the following story. I own the main character and some of the locations. Rated M for major language, sexual innuendos, drug and alcohol use and abuse, and really shitty stabs at dickhead characters from various franchises like Snape or Luke Castellan)

Introduction: Klonopin and Bud Light Platinum at 2:30PM

Hi. You may be wondering, "Since when do Klonopin, Bud Light Platinum, and children's cartoons from the 90s go together? It's like Super Mario and having a Super Walmart with McDonald's in-game. It's not physically possible nor is it right." Too bad assbang. It's that way for a reason. So shut your shit up and let me tell the story. Where was I? Hmmmmm…..something about Klonopin and dis- AH HA! Anyway, our story pretty much begins in a house in a Burbank ghetto. We got Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss by Bloodhound Gang cranked on a stereo system in the corner of the living room. We have clothes, wrappers, cans, bottles, empty pill containers, etc. all over the place. The bathroom reeks of vomit, piss, and cheap perfume from the hooker who my friend who lived there was doing the Missionary with the bitch for $500 the night before. Well that explains the hot pink thong and used condoms on the lamp in his bedroom. HEY! FUCKTARD! WAKE UP! If you haven't noticed, the lump in the green boxers, Eminem t-shirt, and one Nike sneaker, that's the main character Joseph "Ace-ball" McHowitz. He lived at 666 Sundown Road, with, oddly enough, the Warner trio, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, living next door at 665 Sundown Road. Well, with the four main characters introduced, the chapterly quota of at least one explicit plain-as-fucking-day sexual reference established, we can get on with our shit and the story.