Author: KungFuCat

Genre: Angst/Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Drama, AU

Rated : T (not recommended for age 14 or younger)

Warning: Psychological terror, bodily harm, language

Disclaimer: I don't own the SAW series. I don't intend to earn any money with it.

Chapter 1. Some wounds don't heal…

Adam was drifting through the filled streets and alleyways, his gaze glassy and empty. That incident had been two months ago now. Two months… on the one hand, it seemed like it was eternity ago… on the other hand, it felt like just yesterday.

He still knew how the chains felt. He still knew how relieved he was when the police found him and brought him out of there.

And there was one thing he was sure he could never forget. The sacrifice Lawrence made in order to return to his family.

He sawed off his foot before his very eyes. Full of desparation and no hope left in his mind. Adam exactly remembered the expression on his face – screaming, his eyes filled with tears an showing he wanted to be released, like a wild animal in a cage. He didn't seem to feel the pain at all – the only thing he had on his mind back then probably must have been his wife and his daughter.

But what was chasing Adam's mind the most were his last words.

"I wouldn't lie to you…"

Adam swallowed. Although it had been two months already, he still felt all these horrible feelings. The hard, cold floor, the smell of sweat, dirt and metal… the taste of blood on his tongue…

He bit his lower lip. He had planned to forget about everything that happened back then, to move on, but he couldn't – he just couldn't.

It wasn't only the fear that was inside him… more or less, it was also Lawrence… he still didn't know what happened to him. It was the first and last time he saw him.

They became some kind of friends in that bathroom. They hardly knew each other, and still they held together in order to save their lives. That was what they had in common.

Adam was doubting he would ever be the brisk photographer he once was again.

The young man sighed. He went through awful misery. Misery others could never imagine, not even in their worst nightmares.

How far do go people go to save their lives?

Which part do they sacrifice to survive?

All these questions where shooting through his mind like an endless storm of many meteors. He couldn't think of anything else. He bits his lower lip again. It was just like every other day since then. He planned to forget about it – but once again, he couldn't.

He went past a jeweler, and a short gaze into the glass forced him to pause.

He looked into the glass, seeing his reflection. What did it make out of him?

His once healthy physique had changed, he had become awfully skinny.

His once shiny, dark hair hung limply along his ears, it had grown.

His once bright, brisk features had changed into a mask of sadness. His face had the expression of a lonely, cold landscape of snow, or a large, grey wall of concrete.

His naturally handsome face was now filled with pallor, sadness and loneliness.

But what had changed the most were his eyes.

Adam pushed his nose slightly onto the glass to get a better look of them. Although the glass didn't have an effect as good as a mirror, he could still exactly see how they had changed.

They still had the same indescribable, greyish color, but they were not as before. They were different now.

Gloomy. Empty. Glassy. As if they were a light that had been dimmed.

Adam sighed. He shook his head to collect his wits and went along until he came to a ice cream parlor. He looked over inexpressively.

"Maybe a coffee will wake me up…"

He went to the counter, recognizing two pretty young girls giggling and eyeing him secretly.

Before he had been abducted, he would at least have smiled at them, but today, he wasn't interested in them at all. Today, everything was different.

"What can I bring you?"

Adam didn't even hear him. His gaze was on a pipe attached to the wall of a house. His eyes were torn open, he felt the cold, the memory rising inside of him. He had to pull himself together so as not to scream out loud when suddenly a voice brought him back to reality.

"Sir?"

Adam looked up at him. The man at the counter had asked him again. He had raised one of his dark eyebrows, his brown eyes looking at him sceptically.

"Oh, sorry. A coffee… please…," Adam murmured embarrassedly.

The man saw a pink blush on Adam's pale cheeks and smiled at him. "Oh, don't worry! It's alright! You probably had a hard day…," he said, turned around and went to the coffee machine.

Adam sighed again. His day hadn't been hard. Just like any other.

Although he didn't want to, he turned his head back to the pipe. He really didn't want to, the abduction had made him despise pipes more than anything. Nevertheless, something forced him to, he couldn't hold himself back.

The terrifying, cold pictures returned into his mind, his lips started quivering. Slowly, the loud, merry world around himself seemed to disappear, and the cold image of a bathroom surrounded him.

His face went pale, he couldn't stop what was happening to him. The memory was stronger than him. Right next to the pipe appeared, and next to it, a saw…

His shivering increased, and suddenly, he felt somebody touch his shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Lightning, he turned around and slapped the hand away that had touched him and stared into the shocked face of the waiter.

He had actually slapped the coffee out of his hands.

"I-I just wanted to give your coffee to you, Sir!" the poor guy stumbled.

All the people had turned to look at what happened meanwhile, either confused or curious.

Completely appalled at what he had just done, Adam stared at the broken cup and the puddle of coffee to his feet.

As if someone would give his back lashes with a sharp whip, Adam fell to his knees and tried to gather all the shards up. "I'm deeply sorry! Please forgive me! I'll pay for everything I did, don't worry! God, I'm so sorry…," he stumbled hastily and picked up some of the shards with shivering hands, putting them down on the counter.

The waiter looked at him in confusion, but nodded insightfully. "It's alright, Sir. Don't you worry, I'll take care of everything! But you should seriously take a nap," he said and brought away the shards.

Adam was still trembling, he didn't do it on purpose. He looked at his feet with shame. He hated his life.

He hated it since two months.

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That was the first chapter. Please tell me if you liked it and if you've found any mistakes, that would make my day.