Also on news/2028940-sweet-and-sour-a-junjou-romantica-fanfic
New AN: Edited. Someone made a comment that their age difference was that that far apart. I never said in here that it was. I mention that Akihiko has aged, but Misaki aged as well. Therefore, I have added a few things pointing out that Misaki is older as well. I thought about mentioning how far into this future this takes place, but I like keeping it ambiguous.
"Misaki? Misaki, where are you?" Akihiko's eyes stared off blankly as his head twisted back and forth.
"It's okay, Akihiko. I'm here." He took Akihiko's clammy hands into his own. He looked down at the old man and felt needles pierce his heart. Akihiko's hair may have greyed and his face wrinkled, but Misaki still thought he was the handsomest man alive. The only thing he missed about him were his eyes. Those eyes that use to look at him with such mischief. What use to piss him off now felt felt like a dead friend.
Taking care of the man was not as easy as it used to be, but the task still gave him pleasure. Too bad the years had reduced his stamina. Even simple tasks such as cooking meals took a toll on him. "Akihiko, can I get you anything?"
"No. Please just stay with me." Misaki could remember the first time he had called Usagi-san by his first name.
That day had been Akihiko's birthday. The phones had been unplugged and the doors locked so as to keep Aikawa and Takahiro from interrupting. They had spent the entire day together. Misaki's protests against intimacy had begun to quell by this point in time. They had made love numerous times and were lying on the floor immersed in darkness. Misaki had rested his head on Akihiko's chest, whose arms where securely around him.
"Misaki can we stay like this forever?"
"Sorry to tell you, Usagi-san, but I'll have to get up and use the bathroom at some point."
Akihiko smiled lightly but his face held seriousness. "That's not what I meant. Would you stay here with me, Misaki? I've grown so use to you being here with me that I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't think I can learn to live alone again."
Misaki tuned towards him looking deep into his pleading eyes.
"Usagi-san, I'm not gonna leave you. Ever. I love you, Akihiko." Akihiko's eyes had widened in shocked joy. Akihiko had voiced later that that had been the best birthday present he had ever received. That had also only been the second time Misaki had ever admitted his love. After that moment things had changed between them. Misaki worked on being more open and a weight lifted off Akihiko.
"Misaki, what's wrong?" Misaki hadn't realized that he had been crying. Akihiko couldn't see much anymore besides shadows, but the tears had fallen down upon their joined hands.
"It's nothing. Really, I'm fine." Maybe he could have saved himself much heartache if he had never gotten involved in Akihiko's life. Should he have never cried for him that day? Never have been swept away by that first kiss. Maybe he should have left long before then when Akihiko had molested him on that first meeting.
Misaki didn't know if he had made the right decisions, but he didn't regret them. He loved Akihiko with his entire being, and even though that had caused him agony, he did not wish to give it all up. What he did regret was his own denial. Akihiko had given him so much love, and he gave him so much trouble and worry in return. It had not been until very recently that he was able to say 'I love you' without a second thought. After how many times Akihiko had said those words to him, he felt sad at not coming anywhere near conveying the true amount of love he had for the man. Akihiko had deserved more than what he had given him.
Akihiko had finally relaxed into sleep. Misaki decided to join him, crawling into the bed and pulling him into himself just as Akihiko used to so often do to him.
Misaki awoke with a start. Then bed shook violently. Akihiko had entered into one of his seizures. They had started after a stroke that Akihiko had had a few months ago. It was difficult for Misaki to deal with Akihiko's many problems now that he had lung cancer, but he knew that he should have seen it coming. Akihiko had always smoked like a chimney. He knew their time was coming to a close and that's why these convulsions annoyed him so. They interrupted the little time they had left.
He tried to hold Akihiko down, but he continued to flail. Tears streamed down Misaki's face. He knew that it must be painful for Akihiko, but there was nothing he could do to help. He quickly ran to the phone and called the doctor.
Hours later Misaki sat in the waiting room at the hospital. The doctor came up to him with a placid look. Oh no!, he thought. "I'm sorry, Misaki, he's gone."
The grave stone was silent. Misaki continued, "Do you remember our first kiss? In that moment it didn't matter that we were both guys. I would use it as an excuse so often, but deep down I didn't care. I've come to realize that there was never anyone else for me. I could never have left you. You were my first kiss, my first date, my first everything.
I hope I was able to cover up the hole my brother had dug in you. I hope I wasn't a burden on you. I wish I wouldn't have denied my feelings so often. I wish I had been more loving towards you. You deserved it.
And all those times I yelled about the stupid BL novels you wrote. Well, now I will cherish them, because they defined who you were. I wouldn't have got in M university without you. I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to graduate without you. You taught me so much and I never repaid you.
I have no idea what my life would have been like without you. If I hadn't fallen for you, would you have gotten with Sumi-senpai instead? Would I have found someone else? I doubt it. I swear we were made for each other Akihiko. I don't think I could have loved anyone else. Haha," he laughed.
"Now I'm just rambling aren't I? Akihiko, I miss you. I wonder if you could understand just how much. I'll continue to try my best. Akihiko, I love you. I will love you for the rest of my life. Even if I do find someone else to love, I swear that I will always love you. I'll visit you again tomorrow." With that Misaki walked away.
Old AN: *tears*I can't believe I wrote something so sad. I really like it though. It is so sweet yet so sad (hence my title Sweet and Sour). I hope you all liked it too. We truly got to see just how much Misaki loved Usagi-san.
