Happy Now, a supernatural fanfic

Authors note: This is just something I wrote because the new season can't come fast enough. It takes place after the season 5 finale and is in no way related to my other Lisa and Ben story.

No copyright infringement is intended. Supernatural belongs to Kripke and company. Title and lyrics are respectfully borrowed from the Bon Jovi song of the same name.

Happy Now

When the ground had swallowed Sam up, he had taken a piece of Dean with him. But he had to scrape together what was left and move on, not because he wanted to, but because he promised.

At first it had felt wrong, like he was an outsider invading the lives of people he barely knew. However after weeks of their daily routine, the mornings spent driving Ben to school and the nights in front of the television with Lisa lying in his arms. Somewhere along the way it had started to feel like he belonged there. Maybe it wasn't his life, but for now it was where he was supposed to be.

He was going to make it and it almost made him feel guilty. It had been Sam's choice that had brought him here; his little brother had sacrificed everything to give him a shot at happiness, because he felt he'd deserved it. The part Sam always forgot though was that he deserved it too. He had always seen the good inside of him even if Sam had been blind to it in the end.

Would he ever see Sam again? He didn't know. The only hope he had for his brother now was that, wherever he was, he was at peace. I know you were strong enough to win. I just wish I could hear it from you that you did. The question was on his mind as he closed his eyes at night and awoke with him in the morning.

It took nearly a year but Dean got his answer. One night as he crept up the stairs to change for bed, leaving Lisa asleep on the downstairs sofa, something lying on his pillow caught his eye, something he hadn't seen since dropping it in the trashcan of a motel room after losing the last of his faith.

He cautiously picked it up, half expecting it to crumble in his hand. "So this is how you tell me you're okay? Sammy you son of a….." Dean didn't finish the sentence. Instead, he slid the necklace over his head. "Happy birthday Bro," he said softly.

What would you say to me?
If I told you I had a dream
If I told you everything
Would you tell me to go back to sleep
Take a look in these tired eyes
They're coming back to life
I know I can change
Got hope in my veins
I'm telling you I ain't going back to the pain

Can I be happy now?
Can I let my breath out?
Let me believe
I'm building a dream
Don't try to drag me down
I just want to scream out loud
Can I be happy now?
Been down on my knees
I learned how to bleed
I'm turnin' my world around

Can I be happy now?
Can I break free somehow?
I just want to live again
Love again
Pick my pride up off of the ground
I'm ready to pick a fight
Crawl out of the dark to shine a light
I ain't throwing stones
Got sins of my own
Ain't everybody just trying to find a way home?

You're born then you die
It's all gone in a minute
I ain't looking back
Cause I don't want to miss it
You better live now
Cause no one's going to get out alive, alive