The following is a bit of a take on Video Game Confessions which belongs to the comedic genius of Doug Walker of Channel Awesome. Naruto's not mine. And to make this more fun to you the reader, I suggest putting on the theme from Video Game Confessions ( /watch?v=tCrrZ1NnCuM )
A/N: Originally this was going to Sarada, but I decided to scrap the idea in place of Anko. I really didn't like the final product for the Sarada confession so I wanted to make anew. This one is really a bashing, it's more a study on Anko and issues surrounding.
Anime Confessions – Anko Mitarashi
You're introduced to a young Saya-jin/Endurion male of African descent about 5'9'' with a lean frame. His hair spiked and black with eyes of light gray. He wears a typical outfit of a bartender for a fancy restaurant.
"This is Ryo Nazo Blackthorn, a semi-retired Time Patroller. Ryo works in the seven-star restaurant known as the Tori Dragon Palace (which is two blocks away from the Pixel Palace). There, some of anime's most popular celebrities pop in to have a drink. Sometimes, they share stories, and even secrets. Because—as we all know—what the bartender hears is confidential... isn't it?"
Anko
So here I was tending the bar and it's December. You'd think this month would be about love and cheer. No. December is the month of people feeling bits of melancholy. I typically tend not to work around December, but I did this year. My leading lady had business to tend to leaving me alone this week. So I went to work and in walks in, Anko Mitarashi.
Now few know anything about her, myself included. It's a real mystery with her. Some say she's a hypersexual super sadist or an excitable tomboy with a violent streak. It's all inconsistent. So, she comes up to my side of the bar and asked for sake and dango. Of course, I oblige.
"So Anko…what brings you here to the Tori Dragon? You aren't really a regular here." I asked curiously.
"It's that time of the year. Well I don't really have anyone to spend it with." Anko said chomping down on the dango. "Nobody remembers little ole' me."
"Now that I think about it, weren't you a plot point later in Shippuden?" I asked trying to recall that point.
"Yes, I was. And that was my only purpose. After that nothing, no expansion on my character. I don't even get to kill Oorochimaru!" Anko said making a tighter grip on her glass. "And he's still alive and still invited to the wrap parties!"
"Oh right, you were Oorochimaru's student at one point. I could understand why you'd hate his guts." I said sympathetically.
"He was like a father to me." Anko said tearing up. "But in the end, tossed me aside like seeing me as a failure like the village does now."
"Don't beat yourself up over it, Anko. You did grow up to become a darkhorse in the franchise." I said trying to cheering her up.
That didn't really work and she wiped the tears out of her eyes.
"That would be nice, if I didn't feel as a hypocrite." She said bitterly. "And I might as well be. I never once stepped in to help Naruto and he had a similar problem to me. I could have stepped in, but nope I was too full of myself on being loyal to the Leaf."
"Don't beat yourself up over it. Naruto grew up to just f…ok not so much." I said.
I couldn't say it, I just couldn't.
"Yes, he was fine! Bakakashi really did a fine fucking job teaching him!" Anko said sarcastically. "And Team 7 were matches made in heaven."
"But enough about him, what about you? What are you going to do now that the show's over?" I asked her.
"Well when I found out I end up fat, I flipped my shit. I wanted to have a word with Kishi, but Tsunade put him in the hospital through the one-punch express." Anko mused.
I snicker and admit I paid Tsunade to do that. Anko finally smiles again as we broke into jovial laughter.
"Well I got no job as of job and I'm broke beyond repair. Any ideas?" She suggested.
"Not really. Tenten came with the same issues and now she's starring in adult doujins." I said cleaning a glass.
"Doujins?" Anko said curiously. "What the hell's a doujin?"
After I explained what they were and how much cash you'd make in one, there were only an afterimage before she Shunshined out of the bar. Without paying…damn it. What's with Konoha people and not paying lately? But I digress. The next day, Cherie Rose Loveless had come to see me wanting to thank me. So I ask what I'm being thanked for. Apparently, she got into the business of producing doujins and she's a lot richer now. Turns out, Tenten and now Anko work for her as actors for these adult flims. I'm not exactly proud I had a hand in them ending up there.
"Well I must head back, I'm having Tenten and Anko star on my show. Be sure to watch it, Ryo." Cherie said sweetly to me. "And Merry Christmas."
"Same to you." I said sheepishly.
Then she grabs by the collar and says in a whisper to me, "Make sure to come by my place tonight. Mihawk won't be home and you'll have me and Shalulia all to yourself. Consider it a gift from me. You did give me two nice presents."
I nod and she leaves. Thankfully, she pays for the drinks on Anko's tab.
You see a lot of strange things as a bartender, see a lot strange things at the Tori Dragon. So, I see a lot of strange things as a bartender at the Tori Dragon, and that isn't no lie. Swear to it!
(A/N: This is the true third entry I wanted, and I must admit that I am lot happier with this. Sarada was one I wrote late at night and delirious from lack of sleep. This one, much better. Shout out to CherieRoseLoveless, you rock! Final Edit 10/13/17)