A/N: I love how everyone's retreating to fanfiction to either tend their wounds or to lash out. This is one trend that I cannot miss out on.
Funk: Am I the only one that was irrationally happy when Rachel cried over Jesse? I know it sounds mean, but I was so happy when I realized that she really cared about him. Seriously, with everyone trying to shove Finchel down my throat, I couldn't help but feel doubtful.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Once Bitten, (Twice as Shy)
Jesse: Look when you told me to seduce her—.
Shelby: Befriend her was the word I used, actually.
Jesse: Whatever. The thing is, I was into it because I thought it would be a good acting exercise, but now… I think I kind of like her. I don't want her to get hurt.
&.&.&
He always knew he wasn't a saint, but he never thought he could sink this low.
He puts his phone back in his pocket and faces his teammates; his real teammates, though some voice in the back of his mind tells him otherwise. "She's coming," he informs them and they all smile deviously.
"Alright," says Audra, the black girl who sings the female lead vocals, "Everyone knows what to do?"
There's a murmur of affirmation and Lauren, the Latino girl who's one of their best dancers looks at Jesse pointedly, puts her right hand on her hip and says, "Don't forget not to give anything away, okay? Put on a show face for her! She's gotta be surprised."
Jesse nods but knows that he doesn't need reminding. They've been over this way too many times in the last week and he honestly just wants to get this over with already, so he can finally get a peaceful night's sleep again. He's been having trouble sleeping lately and he thinks about what they're going to do today more than he'd ever actually admit.
"Okay guys," he says and they all direct their attention at him, "Get into position."
The others go to their designated hiding places while he stands there in the middle of the parking lot and waits for Rachel Berry to arrive.
He sees her moments later, looking around cautiously. When she sees him, a huge grin appears on her face. She starts running towards him but he swears that everything's moving in slow motion, even though the gears in his brain are moving faster than the speed of light. Because if he is being honest with himself, he finds that he really does care for the petite young woman in front of him. He loves how she's so flawed and how she's so much like him, that it makes him realize that despite what he wants to believe, he's just as flawed as the rest of them. He loves, and at the same time hates what she's done to him, and how he makes her feel—that she actually makes him feel—because he's lived so long believing that feelings just get in the way of things, that they only slow things down because it is a well known fact that being at the top is lonely. He knows he's not supposed to care about all that stuff because he wants to be number one so badly.
So he pushes all his feelings away, becomes that soulless automaton again, waves at her and flashes Rachel one of his biggest show faces; it's so cheerful (and so out of place) that it's literally killing him.
His grin falters when he sees Brian, one of their countertenors, come out from behind one of the cars and throws the first egg at her, and it disappears completely when he sees her face when she feels the egg crack as it comes in contact with the back of her head. And suddenly, the world is speeding up again, only faster than usual, as if making up for the time it lost. He watches as the other members of Vocal Adrenaline reappear and throw egg after egg after egg at Rachel's defenseless form, and she brings her hands up to futilely try and shield herself. He resists the urge to grab her and help her clean herself up, even though the temptation is so much stronger than he anticipated.
"Come on, do it Jesse," Audra encourages, once everyone is done. He hears the others back her up and when he doesn't move she asks, irritated, "Are you with us or not?"
That's when he walks towards Rachel all the while playing with the egg in his hands.
"Do it," Rachel taunts when he reaches her and he's guessing that only he can hear her voice waver, just a little bit, "Break it like you broke my heart."
He doesn't break eye contact with her when he says, with all the sincerity he can muster, "I loved you." (Maybe he still does.)
He sees the glimmer of hope in her eyes and he can't bear to look at it so he cracks the egg in his fist before smashing it on her forehead—the guilt of killing this particular baby chick will be on his shoulders, not on hers—because he remembers how attached Rachel is to her hair (and how much he loves running his fingers through it).
He then leaves her there, standing in the middle of the parking lot as he pretends to join in the festivities of Vocal Adrenaline. But really, all he can think about is how her face crumpled when he had hit her with that egg, and as much as he hopes it isn't true—because before all this, he had actually fooled himself into believing that he and Rachel might meet again one day and possibly, possibly try again and do things properly—she will never be able to forgive him for that. (He sure won't.)
When they enter the Carmel auditorium Shelby is there on stage, with her hands crossed sending them each death glares. They all stand in one line as Shelby stares at one triumphant-guilty face to the next and the triumph is quickly replaced by horror when she starts yelling at them, telling them how embarrassed she is, how they should feel ashamed of themselves and how she had to take the boys who deflated their tires off the hook, just to be able to maintain some of the peace between the two schools. A few grumble in response, but Shelby simply dismisses them from the auditorium.
He's one of the last to leave. Just as he is about to, he hears Shelby call out to him.
"And you." Jesse turns around and is surprised to see her face has softened, a frown forming on her lips. "I thought you liked her."
Jesse doesn't say anything, merely shrugs and turns to go, not missing the sigh coming from his vocal coach.
He does fall asleep that night, but his dreams are haunted by her face and huge bloody chicks and giant, amateur idiots and in the morning he thinks that he'd much rather prefer not being able to sleep altogether.
&.&.&
Will: Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.
Santana: You haven't deleted his number yet?
&.&.&
She's sprawled on her bed, still in her funk costume staring at her phone, silently begging it to ring.
She hasn't taken her eyes off of it since she left the auditorium, scared that she'll miss his call. Because he will call, she tells herself, he will call.
She's thinks that she's somewhat used to this agony, because it wasn't even more than three weeks before when she was in the same position, waiting for the same guy to call her, so she knows it's stupid, waiting for a call that might never come. (He never did call when he was off in San Diego.) She isn't exactly sure what she'll do when he does call—will she yell at him, cry into the receiver, or even pick it up?—so she jumps when she feels her phone vibrate beside her. She takes a deep breath first, then flips the cover of her phone.
"Hello?" she says, her voice uncharacteristically small.
"Rachel?"
She can feel tears start to form in her eyes. It's not Jesse's voice she hears on the other end; it's Finn's. It's really ironic, she muses, because she remembers an instance months ago when she was actually waiting for him to call, but now all she wants to do is hang up on him because Jesse might be trying to reach her right now.
"Hi Finn," she tries her best to mask her disappointment.
"Uhm… I just wanted to see how you were," he says sincerely.
"I'm fine, Finn," she answers, "thanks for asking."
A moment of silence passes before Finn exclaims victoriously, "Did you see Jesse's face when we did our funk number? We got him and the rest his club totally spooked!"
"Yeah," she answers half-heartedly, "Totally spooked indeed." She's half-lying to him because even though she spent half of the time looking at Jesse, she didn't see any indication at all that their performance was affecting him. It hurt far worse than she'll ever let on.
After a few more questions from Finn and clipped answers from her, Finn finally gives up and bids her farewell.
She sighs deeply then lies down, and the tears fall before her head even reaches the pillows. She berates herself for letting this mess with her because she knows that this means that their plan is going perfectly; and she hates herself even more for even thinking, even for one second that Jesse actually cared about her.
I loved you, he says, Rachel screams in her head, What was that even supposed to mean?
She lets herself cry a little bit more, then she picks up her phone and goes through her contacts one by one (there aren't a lot, so it doesn't take her long) before she stops at his name and number. She stares at it for a moment, then rubs her eyes furiously before she presses delete.
She falls asleep soon after, and for the first time since the incident, doesn't dream about mother chickens seeking out their revenge; they're replaced by evil witches, dressed in the most stylish clothes, who turn her knight in shining armor into a toad and try as she might, Rachel can't do anything to stop them.
When she wakes up the next morning, she can't help but think that vengeful mother chickens pale in comparison.
End.
A/N2: This was all inspired by that one line, "You haven't deleted his number yet?" And I'm not even sure who said it. (My bet's on Santana, though.) It was actually just supposed to be Rachel's part, but I thought it was too short, so I wrote a part for Jesse and I got so emotional that I didn't even notice that it was longer than Rachel's.
The names of the Vocal Adrenaline members are taken from the Regionals Programme, so I think they sort of count as spoilers? Not like it matters, but still.
Reviews are awesome, but lurkers are, too, so thank you for reading!