A Piece of Fan Fiction for "Lucifer"
"Oh, Brother!"
By Ben Selfridge
It's a big night for upcoming rapper "MC Uzi", and the choice of venue to launch his new EP, would obviously be Lux, so Mazikeen and Lucifer, along with a thirty strong hired team, are hard at work preparing for the night.
"No, no, not over there Gianni, over there!" Lucifer yells to a surprised staff member who is in complete bewilderment.
"Ermm.. How did you know my name was Gianni?" Gianni says shockingly.
"I know everyone matey, everyone who ever was, is, and will be" Lucifer responds with his usual cosmic chill.
"I know full well, that is a panel that will be used for the merch stand, yes?" Lucifer continues.
"Yes, Mr. Morningstar." Gianni replies still nervous.
"Right, so put it aside the stage, instead of by the bar. Oh, and it's Lucifer, not Mr. Morningstar, though I do like your sense of respect." Lucifer instructs.
"Oh, and Gianni, buy something nice for your fiancée Lucinda some time, something tells me she may be looking elsewhere, due to your chronic clumsiness." Lucifer continues again, with Gianni repeating his dumbfounded, gormless conduct, whilst confirming what Lucifer said, by dropping the panel on to his foot.
"Youch! How did you…" Gianni attempts.
"Please don't make me repeat myself!" Lucifer compels.
Gianni picks up the panel still confused, and takes it to the side of the stage, and returns to the truck, to bring out the other panels, whilst Lucifer goes over to the bar to greet Mazikeen, in his costumery discretion.
"Having fun?" Mazikeen asks, with a tone of sarcasm.
"Always, Maze!" Lucifer replies smugly.
When the coast is clear of all mortal beings, a familiar cataclysmic wave shudders through the room, to reveal a familiar face.
"Azzy, whatever are you doing her for, my dear?" Lucifer asks, in a startlingly jovial way.
But the joviality of the situation temporarily subsides, as Azreal is wearing a face of worry, and she explodes into urgent speech.
"Lucy, this launch party tonight, could really, really, really bad news for you, well for us all." Azreal bursts nearly shedding human like tears.
"Woah, woah, woah, calm down, you're gonna keel over girl, what is the matter?" Lucifer says concerningly, whilst Mazikeen grabs a seat for her.
"That rapper, "MC Uzi" is not what he seems, he knows something which could tear you, no, all of us apart" Azreal continues her pleading.
Before Lucifer or Mazikeen could enquire more in to why she was in such a fluster, Azreal hears a "death calling", and has to resume her duty as the Angel of Death.
"There's no time Lucy, please, you and Maze must return to Hell now, or face the consequence of all consequences!" Azreal shouts, before she angelically fizzles out.
There is nothing but staggered amazement now, on the faces of both Lucifer and Mazikeen.
"She's nuts honey, I bet she's been binging on too much manna." Mazikeen states still wearing her rare face of shock.
"A little Maze, yes, but there is one thing that Azzy is, she is rarely wrong." Lucifer says nervously, but then immediately returns to his chipper self, to reassert the scenario.
"But what would be nuts, is not to have this launch, plenty of people, means plenty of bucks, means that this rapping shing dig is still on, foh shizzle!" Lucifer exclaims, excitedly, whilst performing a "west side" pose.
"You maybe my boss, but don't you ever say, or do anything like that, ever again!" Mazikeen commands with an air of embarrassment.
Suddenly there is a raised voice entering the building, coming from a figure who is surrounded by an entourage, that you would expect as a typical trope, for a megastar rapper.
"Hey, hey, you see the master MC, no gripe, so, I'll make things easy, open your eyes and you will see, that you're peeping at "MC Uzi". What's popping player!" "MC Uzi" makes his triumphant entrance, to a not so impressed Lucifer and Mazikeen.
"You're the talent I take it?" Lucifer states, with an air of irony.
"Hell, yeah player, and it's gonna be banging tonight!" "MC Uzi" ejaculates, wearing a wide grin.
However, when "MC Uzi" smiles, it reminds Lucifer of something, or someone, who he recognises. Mazikeen looks towards Lucifer, wearing a face suggesting, maybe Azreal was not so "nuts" after all.
"Whatdup man?, you kinda zoned out there, it's as if you saw a ghost, who's doing a spectral roast, to the big man who runs the club, do you need your sweet mamma here to give a hug?" "MC Uzi" continues spitting his lyrics, whilst pointing at Mazikeen lustfully, with Mazikeen nodding in disagreement.
"No, no, it's just…Sod it! Mr. Uzi welcome to Lux, you'll find your green room, upstairs." Lucifer articulates, snapping out of his momentary lapse. "MC Uzi" and his crew go upstairs to relax before the gig, whilst Lucifer and Mazikeen continue preparing for the big night.
"Are you OK Lucifer?" Mazikeen asks very anxiously.
"Hmmm…Oh let's get this bloody show on the road!" Lucifer returns to his comedic reassured self. Though underneath still shows a degree of troublesome thought of Azreal's warning, and about the real intentions of "MC Uzi".
So, Lux is packed and "MC Uzi" steps on to the stage with the crowd roaring in support, and Lucifer and Mazikeen stand on the atrium of the place, acting as overseers, to inspect what all the fuss is about, regarding this upcoming "music megastar". The beat drops, the music swells, and "MC Uzi" starts spitting his glory.
Everyone is knocking their drinks back, and are having the time of their lives, but Lucifer's worry returns.
"These lyrics are very familiar, too familiar, reminds me of…" Lucifer thinks in his head, but is uncomfortably interrupted.
"Heaven, brother" A voice telepathically trespasses, and after a short moment Lucifer now realises who is talking to him, it's none other than "MC Uzi" himself.
Lucifer has a wave of horrid realisation, and bolts down the stairs, with Maizkeen following him attentively, into the bar storage.
"Lucifer, you're scaring me, and not for the first time, but this is just getting too weird, baby, what the fuck is going on?" Mazikeen interrogates.
"Azzy, Azzy, Azzy, why are you are always right?" Lucifer states in tone of complaint.
"Why is she right?" Mazikeen continues her grilling.
"This "MC Uzi", Azzy was, and is right, he is not what he seems, and when he was spitting his lyrics right in front of us, before the show, he was right as well, he is a "master MC", for just like any angel, he spreads the word." Lucifer demonstrates verbally on his sudden epiphany.
"Tell me Lucifer!" Mazikeen probes.
"All will be revealed presently Maze, "MC Uzi's" show is about to end." Lucifer states, with cosmic clairvoyance.
Another thunderous boom from the crowd, signals the end of a rapturous performance, by their new musical hero, "MC Uzi". The merchandise is sold to the multitude in double quick time, t-shirts, LPs rein in adoring fans, desperately waving dollar bills at "MC Uzi's" entourage's checkout assistant.
"I need to talk to him after all of this has died down" Lucifer says with a degree of seriousness.
"Nah, ah, I am coming too, sounds like this concerns me too honey." Mazikeen adds.
"Righto, Maze, we need to talk to him." Lucifer says, whilst attempting an over rehearsed grin at happy concert goers, to bid them farewell.
After the completion of the night's business, the Lucifer and Mazikeen confront "MC Uzi", in a secluded part of the car park, to confirm Lucifer's realisation.
"That was a brilliant performance back there, and when I say that, I am not talking about your Dr. Dre impression, I mean the whole "I am not me" thing. How many hours of Def Jam did you watch to "perfect" this?" Lucifer begins his cross examination to an irritatingly please "MC Uzi".
"It only took one episode, brah!" "MC Uzi" utters.
"Yeah, when I zoned out after you grinned at me earlier, I should have realised then, and then when I heard your lyrics bursting out the PA it was a dead giveaway, it was as if I was at a live reading of the Third Book of Enoch" Lucifer shrieks.
"You've finally realised who I am then, and if you've realised that, you've also come to the conclusion of why I am here." "MC Uzi" responds in a dramatic change of voice and rhythm.
"Who the hell is he?" Mazikeen continues, with her string of questions to Lucifer.
"This Maze, is the lieutenant of Heaven, the "strength of God", this is my brother Uziel." Lucifer finally reveals the truth to Mazikeen, and to fully confirm it, Uziel spreads his wings for a little moment, whilst giving both Lucifer and Mazikeen the same conceited grin from earlier.
"Thank you, brother for a marvellous introduction, to this hell hound" Uziel bleats haughtily, to a somewhat reserved Mazikeen.
"And you do realise why I am here?" Uziel continues.
"Not exactly, no!" Lucifer emphasises the gap in his knowledge.
"Well I shall tell you both. After our tempestuous war upstairs brother, certain artefacts of Heaven scattered down to the Earth below, and when I realised that you were in the possession of Azreal's Blade, I had to make a stand, the stand to your stubborn power trip, especially after you murdered Uriel." Uziel begins his account, threateningly to Lucifer, who's face is now a mix of both anger and concern.
"I know full well, that there is one particular artefact of Paradise that forever haunts you, well it should haunt all really, for it is the true instrument of death to us all, and the worrying thing for you is, is that I know where it is." Uziel continues his sinister story.
"You're bluffing" Lucifer says, trying to reassure himself.
"Again, what is this winged bastard talking about?" Mazikeen blurts.
Uziel puts his finger to his lips and goes "shush" to Mazikeen, magically silencing her, so no more interrupting questions can be asked by her.
"Bluffing, my, my, brother, you've fallen once, now you fall again, why would I have the need to bluff, I am an angel of Heaven, not a plummeted evictee, therefore my statements can only be blissfully true." Uziel asserts, with an air of complacency.
"With this continuous choice of yours to stay on Earth, there has been a shift in the balance, meaning that the scales are out of skew, meaning brother, you are attacking the word. You are attacking the word so much, that, that thing that haunts you, that I know the location of, may have to be returned to its rightful owner, meaning that prospectively, very soon all of this, will no longer be in your, or our father's control, the power could be passed to "The Four", those four fusty old riders, a lot sooner than we have all expected!" Uziel bombards, with Lucifer now fully realising the horrible potential of the situation.
"OH NO! OH BOLLOCKS!" Lucifer screams, panicking.
"WHERE IS IT, WHERE'S GABRIEL'S TRUMPET!?" Lucifer questions, acting with the utmost vehement urgency, with Mazikeen falling to floor holding her head in lamentation, after realising the severity of the situation.
"Well away from your hands, which means it's safe, Lucifer" Uziel states, whilst backing away considerably, whilst giving back the ability to speak, to a frustratingly scared Mazikeen.
"In fact, I've told our brother, the exact location of where it is. I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SELFISH REIGN OF TERROR!" Uziel screams, whilst stretching his wings out a second time, flying with intent to both Lucifer and Mazikeen.
"YOU WANT THIS, YOU GOT IT FLY BOY!" Mazikeen yells, with zealous confidence.
After a few minutes of cosmic barbarism, there is a mighty flash, and another short period of cataclysmic shuddering. Lucifer, Mazikeen and Uziel, stop fighting, to see who has come to interfere into their physical dialogue.
What stood before them, was a man like being, an embodiment of every virtue known, dressed in the finest of white suits, and in his right hand, he held a bugle boasting a wondrous glow, the artefact that is the source of all of this uneasiness.
"HARK UNTO ME, AND LET THIS PUTRID VOILENCE BE GONE!" The new voice booms.
Lucifer, Mazikeen and Uziel all get up, dust themselves down, in order to greet Earth's new arrival.
"Gabriel!" Lucifer says, with an unusual tone of respect.
"Lucifer!" Gabriel addresses.
"Oh, brother! We need to talk." Gabriel continues, to a continually shocked Lucifer, who looks at the hand, that carries the horn of horror.
All four of them, go inside Lux to convene, so that they can commence a discussion, with four agendas: 1. Rebalancing the scales of good and evil, 2. Lucifer and Mazikeen honouring their deal, to return to Hell, 3. The continued perpetuation of honouring the word, and lastly, 4. Making sure not to give a reason for Gabriel to blow his trumpet, therefore not giving "The Four" control over the cosmos, therefore postponing the End of Days for all.