Mag wasn't sure how long she'd roamed this bleak, black, barren land. All she knew was that it had been a terribly long time, but she didn't feel tired, not even a little. Despite how constant her movements were, because of that newly instilled desire to be ever-changing, she never grew weary of walking. Instead, every step she took brought her more joy and energy than the last. And that was simply because, this time, this life was one she chose for herself. In that sense, it wasn't even really a punishment. Perhaps that was what it was meant to be, but Mag was starting to realize how subjective everything in life was, including Heaven and Hell.
Perhaps to some, Heaven was good and Hell was bad, but to Mag, both were horrid. Why? Because both were stagnant. No matter which one you wound up in, that was it. There was no more change or chance. It was what it was, and if that didn't reek of defeat, Mag didn't know what would. It just reminded her far too much of the slave-like existence she'd borne on Earth. Back then, she was forced to accept whatever happened to her without protest. There was no way she could spend eternity like that.
For that very reason, when her Judgement came, she had no issue with choosing a fate most would've considered worse than Heaven or Hell: the endless restlessness. To some, that endless desire, that feeling of never being complete or part of a group would've been a very acute torture. To Mag, however, because it was her own choice, she had almost found her own Heaven anyway. Her indecision was her decision, paradoxical as that was, so she was able to find happiness even in this bleak new world. And the constant restlessness, she thought, beat the stagnancy that would come with joining Heaven or Hell. At least here she still had the chance to learn, grow and change and it wasn't really the end. In Heaven, it would've been an eternity of worshipping God, in Hell, it would've been an eternity of being punished. Here, she called the shots. Here, she could still change her mind and opt out. Neither Heaven nor Hell had such a refund or return policy, she was sure of it.
So on and on and on and on Mag walked, but despite this seeming monotony, because everything was her choice and because she was constantly moving, nothing ever stayed the same for long. It was the very antithesis to Heaven and Hell, both of which were very stagnant. This Limbo, this land of In Between, was fluid and fluctuating, ever-moving and ever-changing. It was always full of newness, even if that wasn't readily apparent. It was like a twilight of worlds, standing right between day and night, though Mag did not know which direction pointed to dawn and which to dusk. All she knew was that she was right in the middle of it. It was, to her, analogous to coming to a fork in the road but instead of choosing left or right, the driver would take a third option and keep going straight, right down the middle. It was that space, that void, of In Between, in between decisions, ideals, sides, choices, destinies and eternities. It was that bridging gap between Point A and Point B. It was a spectrum instead of a discrete unit, and Mag loved it!
Perhaps to some, the indecision and uncertainty would've been torture, but Mag quite enjoyed it. It was nice to be able to have a wide variety of options to mix and match from instead of one set, binary rule or guideline she had to follow, or be told to follow. Back on Earth, she would've walked with grace and poise. Here, she could run, jump, skip, hop, dance, or anything in between or outside of that set. There were no limitations except for the ones she imposed. That was true freedom, even if it came at the price of living in a land as empty and confused as this.
But then again, it was like that old saying, not all who wander are lost. Mag was a wanderer now, after all, but she had never felt more at home or secure than now. Ironic and contradictory as that was, Mag had never felt less lost in her life even though the sole purpose of choosing Limbo over Heaven or Hell was to be ever-moving. There was no settling down for her now. There was nothing but fluidity and fluctuations, but that was exactly where Mag drew her stability. From the chaos came her peace, from the wandering came her "found-ness". She might've been "doomed" to wander forever, never settling down, but she did not feel lost at all. Instead, she felt very much in control and at home. It was nice.
So on and on and on and on Mag walked, through the vast space of emptiness that took up the void separating Heaven from Hell. It was a strange place to be in. It seemed so impossible, so hybrid, but here she was. If she walked far enough one way, she could see pearly gates gleaming off in the distance. If she walked far enough the other, she could see a large cutout of a clown head grinning at her from far away. But those were only two directions in which she could walk. There were countless more left to go and she was going to walk them all. But since it was her "curse" to be a wanderer for all eternity, no path would never lead to the same place twice. Perhaps to some, this lack of a concrete direction would be scary and unsatisfying, frustrating and disheartening, but to Mag, it was just another adventure. Another chance to forge her own path and call the shots. Perhaps it was a good thing she was "blind". Maybe being eyeless gave her a new way of seeing things.
On and on and on and on Mag walked. At one point in time, she thought she could hear the shore. It was strange to think, but she was certain that the whooshing noises were waves hitting sand. Intrigued, the eyeless woman followed her ears until she reached the source of the sound and, sure enough, the barren land turned into gray sand. In the distance, Mag could see other people running and walking back and forth, all around. The second her eyeless sockets were faced in their direction, she knew that they were fellow wanderers. Perhaps some of them really were lost, perhaps some of them really were suffering, but Mag was certain that she would find other people like her, who had chosen to be here of their own free will. Even though part of her fate would prevent her from ever finding a family in the traditional sense, Mag could already tell that some of these wanderers would become her new family.
This thought excited her into picking up her pace. It took Mag only a few minutes to entirely exit the barren area and reach the seaside in that place where land and water met. Once again, it was that thin line of In Between. Upon closer inspection, Mag saw people of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages. Some ran, some danced, some walked, some limped, some crawled, some jumped, but all of them moved. It was a fluid motion, back and forth, like the tide they ran beside. Some of them wandered in, some of them wandered out. Mag was wandering in. As she drew closer, she could see a dock at part of the ocean. It was sealed off, the one place she would ever be forbidden to enter, but she didn't want to. She knew where it led. But she approached the dock regardless, curiosity urging her forward, and because she was her own master now, she heeded that curiosity without fear or hesitation.
The dock really was unimpressive, just a few wood slabs nailed together with a simple wooden boat tied to the end with a chain, but what made Mag smile was a sign that had been crudely tied to one of the posts of the dock. It read, "Not all who wander are lost. Welcome to Acheron".
"Ahem," someone behind Mag cleared their throat. The woman quickly turned around and her smile grew wry.
"Breaker," she greeted politely. And sure enough, it was, the first person she ever met in Limbo. He seemed to be something of a ruler, despite everyone doing their own thing in this particular afterlife setting.
"Magdalen Defoe," he replied just as politely. Mag couldn't deny some surprise that he knew, and let alone used, her birthname, but she couldn't deny a pride and pleasure too. It was nice not to be Blind Mag anymore.
"That's me," she said, as though trying to tell herself just as much as she was telling Breaker.
"I know," he replied calmly, voice soft and sallow face unreadable.
"What have you come here for?" she asked.
"Simply to see how you were getting along here," he shrugged his shrouded shoulders.
"Well enough, thank you," Mag was acting surprisingly cordial. But, she supposed, that was what happened once you finally had your freedom.
"But you must know that you cannot stay for long?" Breaker implored.
"Of course," Mag smirked. "How could I forget?" she gestured to the chains on her dress. Despite how heavy they looked, she didn't feel them.
"But there is one place you can go specifically," Breaker replied. "Limbo is not the end, especially not for our more daring Wanderers."
"And what do you mean by that?" Mag was intrigued now, that burning desire to keep moving coming in stronger now that Breaker was offering her a new place to explore. Unlike some of the inhabitants of this Limbo, Mag enjoyed these stirrings. This constant desire to move and explore made her feel free and adventurous where it might've made others feel bogged down and tired.
"Surely by now, you know now that I am a Watcher," Breaker began.
"I do," Mag promised, and she did. Although she was not one for theology, she still new a lot of the basic stories including the infamous "Lucifer rebels against God and starts a war in Heaven which results in him losing and being sent to Hell" story. In that story, some of God's angels refused to pick a side. They, too, were sent out of Heaven, but were spared from the more depraved and torturous parts of Hell. Breaker was one of these middle angels, unwilling to defy God, but unwilling to take arms up against his fellow angels. That was why he was here, in Limbo, acting as a mediator in the In Between, helping the newly dead to decide upon their fate in Heaven or Hell (or in Mag's very rare case, in Limbo). Mag had since come to realize all of this in the course of her time here in Limbo and now she was starting to see that, in some sense, she was the same way, minus the angel part. And she was willing to bet that some of the runners on the beach were Watchers too.
"And you know that sometimes angels can communicate with humans and that creatures of Christian mythology are sometimes stated to walk the Earth?" Breaker continued. "They interact with humans to further God's plans?"
"I do," Mag repeated, and once again, she did. She'd heard of angels, Watchers, Nephilim, demons, etc. She'd heard of them rising up from Hell or descending from Heaven to intervene in mortal affairs. Sometimes they came in dreams or visions and sometimes they came in "flesh", whether to act as undercover agents or directly divine and intervening forces. These creatures would come to Earth, as the stories said, on behalf of whatever deity they served in order to further that deity's agenda. It was sort of a crappy spot to be in, Mag thought, but she understood the motives.
"Well, what if I told you that Heaven and Hell weren't the only realms capable of sending out their forces to find followers?" Breaker asked.
Mag inhaled sharply as she finally began to see where Breaker was going with this.
"Are you suggesting that I-?" Mag jerked a thumb over her shoulder to a random area that was meant to be a stand-in for the realm of life: Earth.
"Exactly," Breaker nodded once.
"But why?" Mag demanded. Although she was already on board with this idea, constant travel in her very DNA now, she still wanted to know why. Why was she being sent to "evangelize"? And what did a "disciple" of Limbo evangelize about anyway? It wasn't like this place had its own Bible.
"Because of what we believe," Breaker answered. "Even if the Bible is Truth and the war is already over and won, it still goes against our principles to just lay down and die. You know that Limbo is NOT a place of stagnancy and that we are ever-changing. For that, we believe that we just might be able to change the course of the war, or at least, to sway a few stray fates if we aren't good enough to challenge God or Lucifer..."
Breaker continued to explain his plan. In essence, it sounded like all three after-lives (Heaven, Hell and Limbo) would still sometimes send out their agents to engage in mortal affairs for a plethora of reasons. Heaven and Hell were obvious, but Limbo? They mostly went out into the world to mess with the agents of Heaven and Hell. They never really tried to sway a person one way or another, but they would actively fight against those who would try to sway others.
Since Limbo was a place of indecision and a refusal to choose sides, the few Watchers and Wanderers who did go to Earth to "evangelize" would often be seen trying to promote freedom of thought and to cut down on policing of any sort. In fact, not too long ago, one particular young Wanderer had ended up getting into something of a battle with the Translators who had, by the Word of God, gone down to Earth on a mission to try and evangelize a few more lost souls, though their success rate was up for debate. While Heaven and Hell tried to pull humans left or right, Limbo would just cause chaos for the two sides and try to get the humans to think for themselves before deciding.
"So you want me to act as some sort of missionary now?" Mag asked at last once Breaker was done talking about the general gist of the way Limbo interacted with Earth.
"Only if you choose, Wanderer," Breaker replied with a shrug. "It is not an organized event. It is just something to pass the time. The option is always there, anyway, and I think you already know the way..." he gave Mag a grin that showed off all his teeth.
"I will consider it," Mag replied, looking him square in the eye despite not having any herself.
"So be it," Breaker shrugged again. "I just thought you ought to know..." then he was gone as quick as he had come, a quickly-fading specter of gray that melted right in with the similarly dreary landscape.
Mag, meanwhile, turned her face back towards the barren lands she had just arrived from. Although Breaker's proposition was insane, it did not sound uncommon. At least not in these circles. And if travel and change were to be Mag's life from now on, why not? Besides, if it really was all up to her in the end, she would go along with the plan not because it would actually change anything in the long run, but because, even if only for a moment, it would symbolize so much for her. It would be the first time she put herself first and went to explore and publicize not for any master, but because it was a cause she believed in. That idea suited her very much, and so, she began to walk again. She had no idea what she'd say or do because she didn't quite understand Limbo's beliefs, but the idea of saying what she wanted to say because it was her own belief and not something any master asked her to say was enticing enough to get her to go. Besides, as an indecisive Wanderer, it was in her very nature to go everywhere she could and find yet another thing to tear herself between. This time it would be Earth and Afterlife.
Mag walked back across the sandy beach and onto the cracked and empty plain and she walked and walked and walked and walked. Although her conscious mind had no idea where to go, she believed Breaker when he said that her subconscious did, and so, she let that other, deeper side of herself lead the way and on and on and on she walked. She wandered for many days trying to find a way out, but never once was she lost, despite her lack of direction, because, not all who wander are lost.
AN: Inspired by the fic inquiete wrote that was inspired by the fic I wrote that was inspired by Repo and TDC. In short, it's a sequel to inquiete's "Mag's Choice" wherein, after Mag joins Limbo, she finds out that there is more to do than just walk around an empty field.
This takes a bit of Christian mythology as well, not just in the whole Watchers deal (Wanderers being the human equivalent aka people like Mag who cannot choose a side but are humans instead of angels), but in the whole "sending agents down to do biddings" bit.
I actually had an idea for a story where God and Lucifer would both send out their followers to "evangelize" to those on Earth and that Earth setting would've been Sanitarium. The main plotline was, after June falls, God sends out Cora and Agent to go and make more disciples for him and the two end up getting a chance to bond because now they can talk about June without God or any of his watchdogs right there. I still have that general idea for the story if anyone wants to see it, I'm just a bit too busy at the moment to write it unless it's specifically requested. Anyway, my main point is, this story is for inquiete. Hope you liked it!