This song for this one-shot is Billie Eilish ft Khalid - Lovely

RAVEN'S POV:

I stood in the middle of a jock's party with my heart in my throat at the sight of my best friend's tongue down the throat of my ex of two weeks. All of the times I thought something was going on between them and they assured me otherwise were all lies. This had to be a joke. They wouldn't do this to me.

His arm went around her waist to pull her closer, he got very much into the kiss.

My stomach turned from the drinks I had before. I had enough sense to make a run for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time as the vomit poured out of me. Eventually, it stopped, but I had no will to go back out into my sunken place. So I flushed the toilet and sat on the lid.

Tears dotted my eyes while traitorous emotions swirled in me. How could they? I wasn't even over him. The only reason I came to this dumb party was to maybe get him back. And she knew that! I wanted to be angry at them, but all I could seem to feel was dismal. I wanted to cry. I tried to cry, but I dried up apparently. Dismal was replaced by numb.

What was I going to do? Where would I go when I had a problem? Clarke had been my best friend since high school so I needed her. Finn, I could do without. Had they'd been seeing each other in secret for a while now or had it just started? If it just stared why wouldn't she tell me?

Rain splattered the bathroom window from the outside. Several minutes passed of my mindless thinking before the door opened.

My hands quickly wiped my face, I looked down so my hair would form a curtain.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know anybody was in here." A guy said.

I sniffed. "It's okay, I'll be out in a minute."

"You okay?" His deep voice inquired.

I nodded, but I wouldn't look at him.

"Honestly, it doesn't seem like you are."

I almost wanted to laugh at that, but I dismissed him. "Honestly, I'm fine. So you can go."

What should've happened was that the door should've closed after him. The door didn't close.

Thankfully, he didn't walk over to me. He put himself somewhere in the room. "Typically when girls say they're fine it means they're not fine. So want to try that again?"

I really wasn't in the mood to have company but I didn't tell him that for some reason. Instead, I pulled my legs up onto the toilet to lean against them, then I twisted so I faced the window to my left.

"I just saw my ex and best friend making out. Boy am I a fool." I sighed.

"That's it?" He taunted.

My eyes rolled. "What do you mean that's it? My Friday was already kind of shit on top of this. Does someone need to die to impress you?"

He grew quiet.

For a while, I thought I offended him but he asked, "You don't want to impress me. Trust me."

I stared at the white tile of the shower. "Why should I trust you?"

"You shouldn't trust anybody, eh. What's your name?"

Telling him my name wouldn't do any harm. I could also give a fake name.

"Raven." Fell from my mouth without meaning to. "You?"

"You can call me John."

Generic enough. I wondered if he was lying.

"So are you going to share with me your hard knocks life story or is this going to be all about me?"

From the sound of it, he slid down against the wall, probably near the towel rack that faced the sink because he chucked one my way. "Here,"

I caught it and wiped at the runny mascara. "Thanks."

"Are you a nice person, Raven?"

That kind of caught me off guard. Was I? Most people would say I was decent. I helped tutor high schoolers in Math and Science on Saturdays. I always tipped at least forty percent because we had the money. I kept to my small group of friends, a group that I would now have to reevaluate and diminish.

I hesitated. "I think so,"

He exhaled loudly. "Good answer. Anyone who says yes without a second thought is lying to themselves."

"I agree." I balled the towel up in my hands. "What about you?"

"Am I a good person? No, not even a little bit."

My head shook. "I don't believe that."

He chuckled. "This outta be good. Let's hear it."

There was some temptation to turn around to look at him so I could convince him with my eyes that he wasn't bad. It hurt my heart when people didn't believe in themselves. But I didn't turn around. Talking to him was easier when he didn't have a face. Eden University was huge so I doubted I'd ever meet him again. For some reason, that made me want to be as truthful with him as I could.

"You're still here talking to me." I pointed out.

"Yeah, well...I needed a people break." He sighed. "And you're easy to talk to."

A budding smile tugged at my lips. "Why'd you need a break from a party? Why not leave?"

"Why didn't you?" He challenged.

I rolled my eyes. "Because I had to barf. What's your excuse?"

A moment later he slid a bottle of mouthwash my way. "It's kind of my party."

My eyes widened. "This is your house?" He was one of the jocks? God, this little conversation would be all over campus Monday. I swished some mouthwash around in my mouth.

"Relax, I'm not going to tell anyone about this. I'm not in a talking mood anyway."

He was a head scratcher for sure.

"Then why are you talking to me?" I asked after I spit it into the toilet.

He ignored my question again and said, "This ex of yours, you still like him?"

I stiffened. "Woah, I'm not on the rebound if that's what this is."

"Between you and me, I couldn't get it up right now if I tried. Plus, I wasn't asking for me."

Oh.

Why couldn't he get it up? He didn't seem drunk or even tipsy.

"Are you going to answer my question?"

I shrugged. "Why? You don't answer any of mine."

We stayed silent until I broke it with a sigh.

"Fine, I don't know. I sort of came here to get back together. Or try to. Now that's not in the cards."

"What do you mean sort of? Either you did or you didn't." When I didn't answer he went on. "If I was in your shoes and my logic was 'sort of' I wouldn't want to be in anything half-assed. How long did you date?"

My heart didn't even ache over the loss of Finn, it ached at the loss of what we had.

"Almost eight months."

"Eight-" He cut himself off. "You're telling me that you came to my party to almost get back with some dude you dated for almost eight months."

"Yeah, why's that so hard to believe?" Annoyance rang in my voice.

"I don't know. You don't strike me as the kind of girl that almost does anything."

I narrowed my eyes. "From the twenty seconds you've known me?"

"Sometimes when you know you just know." He said nonchalantly. "So do you still like him?"

Did I? From the looks of our conversation, it didn't sound like I was even invested in trying. Digging deep was something my mom had always suggested I do when I was at a crossroads. Everything was still so fresh so maybe that'd have to wait until later.

"I'm going to take your silence as you're over the loser."

"Hey," I was going to defend Finn but he didn't deserve it. "He a hoe, not a loser."

He laughed. "I've seen a lot of man hoes in my day, especially at this party. I already know what you're going to ask. Am I a man hoe? Yes. Yes, I am."

I grinned, a small laugh left me. "You're perceptive. So what am I going to ask next?"

"If I have a girlfriend." There was a smile in his voice. "The answer's no but I'm not looking to be anybody's rebound. I've got more self-respect than that." He joked.

"Ahh," I went along with him, but I noticed my grin hadn't faded yet. "If I ask you a question will you answer it?"

"Depends on what it is,"

I wanted to ask him something big but I could tell he didn't like focusing on himself so I went with what I considered a lighter topic.

"What sport do you play?"

He laughed. "You came to my party and you don't even know who I am, do you?"

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah, don't people do that all the time? I'm sorry, was I supposed to bring you a gift of some kind?"

"Not necessary this time."

My brow arched. "Is there going to be a next time?" I wasn't really a party type, I could count on my fingers how many I'd been to in my twenty-two years.

"Was this really a one-off, Raven? My next party after we get tired of everyone we can do this again."

Tempting.

"Don't tell me you're not enjoying yourself a lot more since I walked in."

Well, he'd taken my mind off of things. Instead of thinking about Finn and Clarke I was picturing him in my head. Most of the time when you talked to people you either knew them or could see them for the first time but it was like we'd made a conscious effort not to look at each other.

"Now you're thinking about what I look like right?" He asked.

My heart thudded. "How'd you know that?"

"I've always been good at reading people. Yes, I have a cute butt. No, my face isn't symmetrical.

I grinned to myself.

"Somehow my winning personality makes up for everything." He said in a very self-deprecating way.

I shot up. "You're really pessimistic, you know that?" I slid to the floor and laid my head on the tub.

"I thought I was a good person."

"You can be both." I challenged.

He mumbled something that sounded like, "It's a little hard to be both." He seemed down himself but I still didn't think he'd share the heavy stuff.

"You never told me what sport you play."

"Do you really care?" His tone a bit teasing.

I found myself grinning against the cool porcelain of the old-fashioned clawfoot tub. "Not really. I figured you'd divulge the inner workings of your dark mind if I warmed you up first."

"No need to dirty talk me, Raven. I'm an open book."

"Oh yeah? Then why are you really in here?"

The quiet bounced between us. I didn't want to be the one that broke it this time.

"If I told you then you'd think I was a bad person."

I sat up. "Try me."

He probably talked himself out of sharing a few times before he told me, "My dad died today." He let his words hang in the air before he continued. "I didn't have the best relationship with him. He treated my mom and I like shit. He wasn't ever there when I needed him." The words spilled out of him as if I gutted him with a dagger of truth. "He got his act together a year or two ago, started helping pay for college even though I didn't want him to. My mom kept insisting that I give him a second chance but I had when I was younger and every time he failed us, failed me."

My eyes stung in tears because I could see where this was going.

"I wasn't going to ignore him forever. I just needed more time, then maybe we could've had the relationship he kept trying to forge. And now..." His voice cracked. "He's gone." He didn't have to make a sound for me to know he was crying.

I knew he wouldn't want me to see him cry so I scooted over the wall adjacent to him. My hand slid around the corner to his testingly until my hand covered his slightly chilled hand. I watched the interaction carefully, the contrast of my Latina skin against his White skin was beautiful.

He didn't pull away. Even when I tossed him the towel he gave me.

I faced forward to let him compose himself in peace.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dumped that all on you."

"Don't apologize. Hearing a jock cry was very rewarding." I inappropriately teased.

He surprised me with a laugh. "You're hardcore. I like it." His hand suddenly felt hot under mine.

"John?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry about your dad." I now understood his somber outlook on life a bit better. The poor guy threw a party to assumably escape the pain of losing someone he never really had and from the looks of it, it hadn't helped.

His hand turned upside down and entwined with me. "Thanks."

My heart spiked at the unexpected feeling at the change in contact. If I pulled away he'd think it was because of him. So I sat there with tingles shooting up my arm. To take my mind off of it, I remembered why we were here in the first place.

Clarke and I had been tight for so long, I never imagined it would come to a screeching halt one day without notice. If she'd been feeling that strongly about Finn why hadn't she told me? I thought we told each other everything. I thought we were sisters.

This time real tears came to my eyes and as badly as I wanted to I couldn't hold back the betrayal sized pit in my stomach or the sobs that tagged along.

I didn't want to be hugged or pulled to his chest or anything intimate in my emotionally fragile state so I was glad when he didn't do either of those things.

His thumb only ran over the back of my hand.

My heart stuttered. I stopped crying.

His head tilted toward mine like he wanted to look at me, which I only knew because I wanted to look at him. He leaned back with a sigh. "You don't deserve to have shitty people in your life, but if you feel like you can forgive them and start something new then do it."

I blew out a shaky breath. "If I don't?" I wondered how I could be affected by someone's touch without knowing if I was attracted to them or not.

"Then you find someone else and don't look back." His body felt warm next to mine.

I wanted to move closer but I refrained.

"Do you believe in fate, John?"

"If you say we were fated to meet in this bathroom I might have to kick you out." He said sarcastically.

I chuckled. "Not exactly what I meant. What I was going to say was that some people exit your life at exactly the right time for someone new to enter it."

He thought about that for a bit. "You must really think highly of yourself if you think my dad died for us to meet."

I flushed red. "Oh, God. That's not what I meant."

His laugh melted into his words. "I like messing with you, Raven."

Truth be told, I liked it too.

My body felt on edge because now I felt his stare on it. I looked down at our hands, his thumb hadn't stopped tracing circles into my skin. My eyes lifted slowly up his face, past his round lips, straight nose, and up to his stormy blue eyes that were surrounded by dark lashes still a little wet from crying. My breath hitched in my throat.

Dammit. He was attractive. Like as in fantasy fuckboy attractive.

"Fuck, you're beautiful." He muttered, his breath grazed my mouth. He gulped.

That brought a smile to my face.

He returned it with ease. "When you said you weren't looking for a rebound-"

"I didn't mean you,"

He raised a cocky brow. "So you lied?"

Well, I guess I did.

I stared at him, my eyes went to his lips. "Technically."

He pulled me toward him and placed me on his lap.

I gasped.

He breathed in my air. "Say the word and I'll stop." He gazed into my eyes before he leaned forward, his lips moved against mine.

"John," I said in the middle of our kiss.

He pulled back enough to assess me.

"Wanna ditch this party?" I wasn't exactly offering sex, but an escape from the bullshit of our current situation. Then again, I wasn't exactly not offering sex. If my ex and best friend could screw me over then I could screw whoever I wanted.

A slow grin came over his face. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

The door opened with two people snogging each other's faces off.

My hand went to John's shoulder while trying to get up, but I froze when I realized it was Finn and Clarke.

They pulled apart long enough to register the bathroom was occupied and we were in it.

Clarke's eyes widened as she pushed Finn away. "This isn't what it looks like,"

"Save it," I told them.

John helped me up. He held his hand out.

My hand slid into his. "You two can do whatever you want. Just lose my number. The both of you." I stared between them. My heart beat a mile a minute.

"Come on, let's go," John said into my ear, then tugged me along.

Part of me wanted to turn back to slap the taste out of both of their mouths but I would feel bad about it afterward so I waded through the crowd of people with a nearly complete stranger taking me away from the people that I once called my family.

A/N: This came about because there was a version of the song that was titled '"Lovely" by Billie Eilish & Khalid but you are in a bathroom at a party' on YouTube by Jaurgay_ so I thought it would be interesting to write a Murven one-shot. But I'm thinking this might be a two-shot or even a three-shot, but I don't want to do a long fic cuz I've got already too many I need to update. Let me know what you thought of this below please and if you want it to be a two-shot. :)