DISCLAIMER: No.
WORDCOUNT: 920
SUMMARY: I'm tempted to place this under silly!fic. But, it's not. Not really. It's just Luke and Lorelai, and they do 'silly' so cutely! NO spoilers. If you know they got together, then you're fine.
FEEDBACK: It's the best thing ever!
Written for krys33 at The Under 400 Word Drabblethon
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MR. CLETUS
by Leni
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Luke knows better than to ask.
When Lorelai barges into the diner with that wide smile, that devilish look and her hands behind her back, Luke's instincts scream that he ignores her for as long as possible. It's not as if she won't bounce onto him and tell him – all details and vicissitudes included – about what she's hiding. She'll probably embarrass him in front of all lunch-time customers in the process, too.
Ignorance is happiness, especially where Lorelai's wicked mood is concerned.
But Luke has never been good to ignore Lorelai. Plus, she's his girlfriend now. He's heard the rumour that girlfriends get upset when ignored, and there must be some truth to it. He already lost a wife that way. But even if he hadn't, years of experience tell him that upset Lorelais - both mother and daughter – are loud; they ramble about chocolate, Casablanca, hairstyles and Cindy Crawford's newest dress. Everything but what is really bothering them, and all the while they'll look at him with those huge blue eyes, wordlessly begging for him to ask what got them upset in the first place.
Once he does, that's it. He's reeled into their personal lives, parents and boyfriends and Jess and Paris and Max and all; he's sucked in by their words and their hates and those little meaningless arguments that mean the world to them. Because that's how the Lorelais work, these Gilmore girls he loves even as they make lunch hour into hell.
Finally, if he ignored Lorelai, she would pout and he always ends up hating whatever makes her sad. It's part of loving her, has always been. Since hating himself can't be healthy – and Luke doesn't need any fancy books to know that – he'll better wipe his hands clean, call Lane to keep everything in order, turn the coffee machine on and bravely step towards his girlfriend.
"Coffee will be ready soon," he says as a greeting. Some patrons raise their eyebrows; they must be new in town. Years before he and Lorelai began sleeping together, Luke knew that these words were the biggest declaration of love in her book. Indeed, her smile widens and her face softens a little as she kisses him. Her hands are still behind her back, though, and in Luke's book, that means danger.
He looks at her, a little warningly, but she takes no notice and keeps smiling. That devilish look is back full-force, and Luke knows. She'll make him ask, won't she? "What have you got there?"
Lorelai is positively beaming now, and that's one of the few perks of following her games. Sometimes it amazes him that she's still such a little girl at heart. But that's the woman he fell in love with. Manias, complexes, screeches, broken weddings and all. He cocks an eyebrow when he sees the enormous bag she presents him with. "For me?"
She laughs. "Oh no. No, boy. I decided to drop in at a crazy diner hour, make a scene out of this moment and drag everyone in just to show you this pretty something I found for me." A breath. "Of course it's for you!"
His arms is swallowed by the bag before he rescues a small box from it. Then he's busy unwrapping it – shiny blue wrapping paper, with golden smiling stars. Only Lorelai…. He could go into a speech about what a waste of paper bag this was; except that Lorelai is already talking.
"I was window-shopping at Hartford, and this little thing winked at me from the next aisle. Can you believe that? The next aisle! That's some good publicity at work, I'm telling you. Then I got to it and a little voice in my head goes 'This will be perfect for Luke!' Now, I didn't buy it right then, because, little voices? So not to be trusted. But I looked closer, and oh miracle! It was perfect for you. So, being the loving, perfect girlfriend I am, I bought it and drove all the way to my boyfriend's workplace just to give it to you. Do you like it?"
By now, the whole diner is looking at them. Luke is sure that by nightfall everyone in Stars Hollow will know that Lorelai brought him a horse-shaped alarm clock. The horse is grinning; it also wears an apron and a chef hat. Why would someone make this? Much less sell it? To make matters worse – or funnier, his and Lorelai's sense of humour is one of the most mismatched matters between them - Luke just knows that this thing's ring is very horse-like. When he told her that he'd probably like riding with her at the inn, this wasn't what he had in mind.
He has to chuckle, because only Lorelai…. "I'll like it more in your room," he tells her and hands the box back to her.
She mock-pouts. Luke knows the difference, so he doesn't need to hate himself, and he also knows that she'll launch into a barely coherent theory of why Mr. Cletus – because he once went into the inn kitchen, see? – will feel better in his loft.
Luke pretends to ignore her, and she knows the difference, too, because she doesn't get upset and only follows him, Mr. Cletus in hand, talking about gift horses and looking them in the mouth and…. Luke smiles to himself when she isn't watching. He'll let her convince him. Eventually. For now he only wonders where he can fit his new alarm clock upstairs.
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The End
08/04/04