Because of You

Summary:

Tommy walked with Kwest into the restaurant they had both agreed to, only half-listening to what his friend was saying to him, which didn't go unnoticed. Kwest just pegged it as jetlag though, since he had only been back in Canada for an hour and a half.

The two sat in a secluded booth in the back of the dim-lit restaurant. They had chosen this place because it was a bit of a drive from the main hang-outs of Toronto, so it was not very popular, which assured Tommy his privacy.

"So, tell me… Was it everything you expected?" Kwest asked excitedly from across the booth.

Tommy shrugged, staring down at the lighter he was rolling through his fingers, "It was… It was nice…"

"Nice?" Kwest asked in confusion, "Just nice?"

Tommy shrugged again, still not taking his eyes off of the lighter.

"What happened to you, T..?" his friend asked him slowly.

Tommy's eyes rose to meet with Kwest's for the first time that night since he had greeted him at the airport, but as he opened his mouth to speak, they were interrupted by a petite, middle-aged waitress. She had a grey and brown bun and wore a white apron around her waist.

The woman took their drink orders and bustled off into the kitchen, and Kwest's eyes immediately returned to Tommy who was looking down again at the lighter with far-off eyes that told Kwest that something wasn't the same about his friend.

"Tom..?"

"Hmm?" he replied flatly.

"What happened, man?" Kwest repeated, "You look like hell, and you're acting like a corpse…"

Again, Tommy went to speak, but stopped short when the words he wanted to say wouldn't come.

"Kwest…" Tommy said after a minute of silence, "If we go to the studio, will you do something for me?"

"Sure, but I thought you said you were hungry..?" Kwest replied, raising his eyebrow questioningly.

"No, you assumed…" Tommy said flatly but without sounding mean.

"Of course, man… I'll cancel our drink orders, and we can leave right now…"

Tommy nodded and went out of the doors toward the car as Kwest did as he had said.

The drive to G major was a silent one as Tommy stared out of the window.

They arrived at the oh-so-familiar building and walked straight for studio C. The place was completely empty with the exception of a lone cleaning lady which caused Tommy to look at his watch that read "12:04 am".

"So… What're we doing here, T?" Kwest asked into the mic from his seat behind the soundboard, looking through the glass at his friend sitting on the stool.

"I've sorta got a song… It's about…" Tommy began, but trailed off, not wanting to think about what the song's strong, deep, and painful meaning, "Can you help me record it?"

"Of course…" Kwest replied, genuinely shocked by this.

Tommy hadn't recorded in years, which is why Kwest was now very concerned.

Tommy nodded, staring at his hands that were clasped between his knees where his bent elbows were resting.

"Okay, well, let's get started…" Kwest said after a moment as he looked down at the controls.

"I asked her to go with me…" Tommy spoke up, pulling Kwest's eyes back to him.

"You asked Jude?" Kwest replied in shock.

Tommy nodded, still avoiding Kwest's eyes, "I told her I loved her… And that I wanted all of her forever…"

"Wow…" Kwest responded at a loss for words after his jaw dropped and eyes widened, "What happened?"

"She never showed…" Tommy answered with a voice that sounded almost hollow, and his lifeless eyes rose to meet Kwest's.

Kwest's gaze dropped, and he was suddenly filled with the enormous amount of pain that Tommy had gone through over the past six months he had been away.

He was suddenly hit by realization as he pieced together the sudden change in his personality, smoking habit he had gained, and his disheveled appearance.

Tommy, not wanting to say anymore, picked up the guitar next to him to signal to Kwest that he was ready to record.

"What's the name of the song?"

"Still Crazy…" Tommy replied softly.

"Still Crazy, take 1… And 3, 2, 1…" Kwest said into the mic, and pointed at Tommy to start.

He strummed the guitar gently, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the music, and moments later, began to sing out the pain that had been haunting him for the past six months,

"Shut me out completely,
That would not be such a sin…
Lock up every entry,
Make sure that there's no way for me to get in…
Won't try to pry them open,
Nevermind the knock upon your doors.
Truth is that there's no reason for me

To even see your face anymore.

But I need you ears and I need them now

I've got something to say.
I'm not here today to win you back

Just to remind you that

As sure as the rain starts to fall,
Yes, I'll always remember you dear,
And though we don't talk anymore.
I was crazy for you; yes, I was crazy for you.

That's for sure.

Nothing's ever easy,

I think we both know that it's true.
I was convinced you loved me,

And I was pretty sure that I loved you too.
When was our final moment?

What's your favorite might-have-been?
When was my fatal error that changed

The way you thought of me ever since?

'Cause I made you smile, and I made you laugh.

I made nice gestures and surprised you enough,
And I made you strong, but I made you cry,
Wish it wasn't true, but I'm not gonna lie.

And as sure as the rain starts to fall,
Yes, I'll always remember you chose.
And though we don't touch anymore,
I was crazy for you; I'm still crazy for you…

That's for sure.
Still crazy for you…

Still crazy for you…

I'm still crazy for you…

That's for sure."

"Wow… T, that was-" Kwest began, while Tommy stared over his head with an unreadable expression, but stopped as he heard a soft sniffle behind him.

He turned quickly to see Jude whose eyes were locked on the man behind the soundproof glass. Her eyes were lined with a light pink color and her cheeks were soaked in tears.

"I just… came for my…" Jude said, barely loud enough to be heard, as Tommy crossed to the now open doorway that separated the two parts of the room, but her voice caught in her throat, and she couldn't handle it anymore.

Grabbing her bag that was lying at Kwest's feet, she quickly ran from the room.