Author's Note: I would like to dedicate this to Bex for introducing me to the Avengers fandom and inspiring me to write a proper fic for the first time. I would like to give a huge thank you to my beta – Lo (Someone aka Me) – for being awesome about my first Avengers fic. Your advice has been really helpful, and I'm grateful to have you as my buddy :) Please read and review if you have anything to say!
What He Deserved by ValkyrieAce
He was standing in front of a mirror, staring at himself. The man in the mirror was barely recognisable. That man was bloodied and dirty. There was blood on his hands and he wasn't even sure it was his. Still, the most disturbing thing was his smile; a maniacal grin that conveyed enjoyment, but belied his brokenness.
There was no way this… madman was him.
"Why did you kill us, Tony?"
Tony woke with a start, sitting up swiftly even though his joints protested loudly. He winced, the morbidity of the sound overwhelming him for just a moment. Curling up in the fetal position, he laid back onto his bed, willing his heart rate to slow and his tears to disappear. A whimper left his lips; he felt weak to the bone.
Once he had regained his rationality, his eyes wandered toward the clock, which blinked '5:00am' in a bright blue light.
Might as well get the day started.
Once he was settled in his workspace with a cup of coffee and a soldering iron, he breathed a sigh of relief. Rather, that's what he would've done had he not been interrupted by Bruce's entrance as soon as the coffee mug reached his mouth.
"You don't look so good."
Tony grimaced, and set his mug back down. "Good morning to you too, Bruce," he said, trying to mask the panic of someone seeing through the facade he'd built.
Bruce rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and shuffled on his feet. If Tony had ever had the urge to call something or someone adorable, this would be it.
"Sorry… I meant, are you alright?" Bruce asked, concern shining clearly in his eyes. "You look like you've barely slept."
Tony hesitated. He didn't want to burden Bruce with his nightmares when Bruce himself had his own. He'd had enough of loneliness in his dreams. He didn't want to be stranded in the same way in his reality.
Suddenly, lithe but strong arms wrapped themselves around his form, holding him close. At first, Tony was startled by Bruce's contact, but a few seconds into the hug had rendered Tony both misty-eyed and speechless. He hadn't really known if he meant this much to anyone, but Bruce had proved him wrong.
"You looked troubled," Bruce started, his fingers tightening around Tony in a protective grip, "You don't always have to be strong. Tell us what's wrong, we can help you."
Tony pulled away from the hug, flustered that he had shown weakness in such a situation. But a look into Bruce's eyes erased all of that; they were pained and hesitant, screaming 'tell me, let me protect you,' but only if Tony would let him.
Tony let out a small smile, and Bruce grinned in response.
"Okay."
There was blood all around him, leading down the hallway and into a crevice he couldn't see. He took a deep, shaky breath and took a staggering step forward, falling into the wall next to him for support. With every step, he felt his heart pound even faster and his resolve crumble, but he needed to see them.
He needed to make sure they were okay.
Whispers ran amok in his mind and he clutched at his head, mentally trying to force the voices down. His hands were wet, he realized. Subconsciously, he knew he shouldn't look at them, but he did anyways; his heart almost stopped beating.
It was blood.
He'd gotten farther down the hallway, and the crevice was now starting to be visible. One more step, he thought. He'd miscalculated his own strength. His leg collapsed under him, and the impact with the cold floor knocked the air out of his lungs. Sprawled on his stomach, he lifted his head – because he wanted so much for them to be safe – and held back a scream, his eyes widening with unshed tears.
The rest of the Avengers were strewn along the crevice, their eyes dull and unblinking. He walked past them, tears streaming down his face, and fell to his knees in front of a particular Avenger.
Bruce laid there with his eyes closed and his neck tilted at a sickening angle. There were splatters of blood on his cheeks, and his hair was matted with grime. Tony went to run his fingers through Bruce's hair, when Bruce sat up, shocking Tony to the point of scrambling away and backing into the wall. Bruce crawled up to Tony, his eyes also dull and lifeless.
"Did we deserve this, Tony?"
Tony felt himself being shaken awake, the hands on his shoulders firm and warm. With a yell, he opened his eyes to see the rest of the Avengers crowding around him in the common area, their expressions all ranging in concern. The movie they were watching kept playing in the background... only now, it was muted.
He… doesn't remember falling asleep.
"Tony… Are you alright?" Rhodey asked. Tony could tell Rhodey was worried for him. He was a good friend. Unfortunately, Tony was too afraid of his reaction and being alone to tell him of the nightmares he'd been having.
He lifted a hand to his face, noticing that it was wet. His eyes filled with a deeper pain, and he was too tired to think rationally. He stood, to the dismay of his friends, and left for his room.
He'd stumbled out of their vision before collapsing. He was expecting the pain to hit him, just as it had in the nightmare, but it never came. Instead, an arm wrapped around his waist and grounded him.
He'd know that strength anywhere. It was Bruce.
Silently, Bruce offered him a smile and began to aid Tony back to his room. With every step, Tony felt as though he was undeserving of his care. Tears pricked at his eyes. His nightmares were right.
He did deserve to be alone.
"No one ever deserves to be alone."
Tony looked up at Bruce in shock, catching a soft smile under the dim lights by his room. Walking in, Bruce helped Tony settle into bed and tried to leave when Tony grabbed onto his shirt.
"Can you… stay with me? Just to talk, of course..." Tony mumbled, a faint blush taking over his cheeks. Bruce smiled softly; Tony's request was unexpected but endearing.
"Alright."
The next morning, Tony woke up with a smile on his face. His nightmares were still present, but they were less intense. He didn't know what made this day different.
That is, until he heard someone breathing next to him, and the weight on his waist became more obvious.
Alarmed, he turned, only to see Bruce laying next to him. Had Tony been paying more attention, he would have noticed that Tony had laid on Bruce's arm as he slept, and Bruce's other arm laid across his waist.
He felt safe. And it was all because Bruce was by his side.
Maybe, one day, he could begin to feel as if he deserved Bruce's love too.
Fin
Word Count: 1,176
Additional Prompts:
The Avenger's Training Camp - Avengers Bingo - 24. Nightmares
The Avenger's Training Camp - Boot Camp - (character) 3. Tony Stark
The Avenger's Training Camp - Favorite Character Boot Camp, Tony Stark - (emotion) 32. Scared