Sitting on the floor of her darkened room, Revan slowed her breathing down to the barest minimum necessary. Slowly she let her mind and body slip into a deep trance. Drifting even deeper, she felt the ebb and flow of the Force. Revan reached out and she could feel the currents. She could see the web spread out across the galaxy as the Force touched every living thing.
The longer she drifted, just feeling the Force around her, the more she understood. There was no sense of good or evil, no light or dark. The Force was just there. It simply existed; waiting to be called upon for whatever purpose it was needed.
Why then, was there always so much emphasis put on what side a person chose? There were no sides. There were only different aspects of the same thing, pieces of a whole. What Revan had come to know and understand as her mind and spirit floated there in the heart of the Force contradicted nearly every tenet and rule that had been driven into her head as a Jedi. It also contradicted much of what she beginning to see and learn of the so called Sith teachings.
Part of her wished that she could make others understand what she had learned. No. Revan told herself. You can't change countless millennia of stubborn, blind ignorance. Perhaps there were a few that would come to think as she did, but Revan knew that it would take far more than her one life time to make enough people understand to bring about any real change.
How could someone born blind, lost in a world of darkness ever truly appreciate the beauty of a sunrise? How could anyone not appreciate the calm, welcoming darkness of space after walking through a harsh, sun ravaged desert? Light and dark were two parts of one thing, and neither could truly exist without the other. Why was that so hard for people to understand? The universe did not exist in sharp contrasts of black or white, light or dark. It was just simply what it needed to be.
Gradually, almost reluctantly, Revan brought her wandering mind and spirit back to her body. With a heavy sigh, her breathing returned to normal and she opened her eyes. Glancing around the room, Revan's gaze came to rest on her mask where it lay on the table beside her bed. Her cloak was draped and folded over the chair next to the table. She had heard the whispers that seemed to follow her now. She had seen the glances, the looks she got when people didn't think she could see them.
"Revan is falling to the dark side." "Revan has fallen."
Scowling slightly, she remembered hearing the same from the Council when she had left for the War.
"Going to war like this, now, will only lead you to the dark side. If you go, you will surely fall."
Weary muscles protested quietly as Revan stood up and walked over to the mirror on one wall. Carefully she studied the face of the woman staring back at her. There was nothing different about her. She had not changed.
Fall? How does one fall or turn to a side when there are no sides? There is only the Force.
Shaking her head, Revan turned toward her bed. She knew there was no 'fall'. She only did what needed to be done. She did what others were too afraid to do. As she stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling, her thoughts shifted.
Only a small handful of people knew what was planned. Tomorrow would see the end of the War, if her plans worked. It would destroy a planet and the losses would be staggering to both sides. Revan sighed and closed her eyes. She might regret those losses, but the plan would not be changed. She would end this War, and the how no longer mattered.