This is a poem written for a competition on Enchanted Sanctum (see my profile). It is from the POV of my OC, Eridanus Caulfield/Malfoy, and the confusion he feels towards his new friends, trying to give up Dark Magic, his feelings and confusion towards his newfound family the Malfoys and how he doesn't know whether his father is Draco or Lucius. It also touches on his feelings towards once enemy Louis, not sure whether he only wants friendship or maybe more. And then there is Kean, a lust filled fling leaving him wanting more, filled with jealousy and confusion.
Confusion.
I live my life in it.
I know it like a brother.
I hate it.
Swamped down, wading through confusion.
My life is not my own.
My choices are not made by me.
My destiny is out of my hands.
I long for freedom.
I long for answers.
I long for control.
What I think I want is taken.
What I think I have is stolen.
What I think I hate is given back to me.
What I think I understand changes before my eyes.
I sit back; I must succumb to the confusion.
I let my life unfold.
It hurts when I see him.
It hurts when I see her.
I cannot do anything but wait and see.
Confusion.
It dwells in my mind.
It feeds off my soul.
It lives within me.
I cast away that which makes me stronger.
I embrace that which makes me weaker.
Power isn't everything.
Love is far greater.
I thought I knew my path.
I thought I understood.
I was wrong, yet again.
I never understood.
His smile is in my mind.
His touch makes me shiver.
What does he want?
What do I want?
His scowl fades.
I see his smile.
We were enemies, now friends.
I don't know what else.
What do I want now?
Is it still in my control?
I am jealous, I am angry.
I am confused, I am helpless.
So confused.