Clarke pulled on her clothes, resigned to leaving. Octavia was no doubt waiting and Clarke had to admit that she had resented Octavia's words earlier. Octavia was going back to Lincoln while she was forced from Lexa.

She had dreaded coming to Polis. She'd stayed firmly within Trikru lands when she was in self imposed Exile from Arkadia, and had desperately tried to avoid detection, not just from the Ice Queen but in case there was any remote chance Lexa would seek her. She had been so caught up in her doubts and confusion over everything that had taken place but even then she had known had she ever come here, she would be forced to leave and that she would resent it.

Clarke felt a slender finger run lightly over her clothed back and she turned to offer Lexa a sad smile.

'I'll get ready and see you off,' Lexa offered quietly and Clarke nodded in response.

Clarke rose and headed for her room, postponing when she would have to say goodbye. It was all too familiar to be in Lexa's presence and find that there was so much to say, and yet there was that horrendous fear that everything would break if anything was uttered. The only thing to do was to turn to their duties. It was only her responsibility that could make her move at all. Polis had become the closest thing she'd ever had to a home. On the Ark, she'd loved her family dearly, but living in space had been claustrophobic. They were marked as a generation that was to simply exist and maintain life on the station. They were never supposed to live and thrive on the Earth but here they were and in Polis she was free.

Clarke entered her quarters to be met with a battered Murphy.

'Murphy?' Clarke questioned fearfully but she saw Murphy's eyes wide and focused behind her, and spun on her heel.

'Titus-'

Titus held a gun directly at her and she knew the great Wanheda was staring at death.

'Titus-' Clarke began, holding up her hands, 'I'm leaving right now with Octavia...'

Pleas wouldn't work and she knew it. Titus was resolute. Clarke could have cried in frustration. She'd been so focused on Arkadia and Pike being their threat, she had never imagined Titus would go to such lengths. She knew what Titus was thinking. She could see the same expression that she knew she had worn when she had shot Dante, the one that was so absent when she was presented with the possibility of executing Quint. She saw his hand clench around the gun and threw herself out of the way, just dodging the shot that echoed through the tower.

Titus moved forward as he shot, while Clarke kept launching herself across the room, counting for when the gun would be out. Footsteps boomed from the outside corridor and the door launched open just as Clarke dived to its side while another shot ripped through the room. Clarke saw the horror in Titus's eyes and she knew what sight would greet her as she turned around.

Lexa stumbled forward, black blood pooling from her abdomen. Clarke grabbed her and carried her to the bed, in a haze.

'Bandages!' Clarke screamed. 'Murphy, I have a medkit in my bottom drawer, get it!'

Titus hurried to Clarke with any cloths he could find and Clarke snatched them away from him. She heard Murphy struggling free and him grabbing the medicine and equipment for her. She rolled Lexa over briefly and let out a shaky breath of relief that the bullet had at least passed through. Clarke turned back to Lexa, finally daring to look into her eyes but she had to fight her own tears at the fear she saw there.

'Don't worry. I can fix this. I can fix you.' Clarke reassured her in a choked voice while Lexa nodded, her gaze resolute, already accepting any fate that awaited her.

Clarke removed the bandages briefly that had been keeping pressure to examine the wound and grabbed her kit, grateful that there was some coagulant left and she tipped it into Lexa's mouth, who swallowed with a slight cough.

'You will never again attempt to hurt Clarke'

Clarke felt Titus behind her but still refused to acknowledge him. Even now, Lexa still managed to give orders with more strength than anyone she knew.

'Don't be afraid, Clarke.' Lexa reassured her and Clarke had to drag her eyes up to meet Lexa's. 'The next Commander will protect you.'

Desperate fury coursed through her. Clarke wanted to scream. How could Lexa still not understand?

'I don't want the next Commander!' Clarke vehemently insisted. 'I want you!'

She choked over the words. Clarke couldn't bear it. Lexa still believed she only cared about the damn title of 'Heda'. Please not Lexa. I already lost Finn. I can't lose Lexa.

'You were right, Clarke,' and Clarke's eyes snapped up to meet Lexa's, 'life is about more than just surviving.'

Clarke had forgotten those words herself because survival was all that she had come to hope for.

Please, just let Lexa survive and that will be all I need.

Tears spilled freely now and Clarke bent to give Lexa a tender kiss to convey all of the things she felt but couldn't say. She felt Lexa still beneath her. Clarke shot up quickly. Lexa continued to breathe but she had finally lost consciousness. Clarke pulled back the bandages once more but they were not as soaked as she had expected. The medicine was working in slowing the bleeding and Clarke examined the wound. Clarke grabbed her kit and began to repair the damage quickly, ignoring Titus and Murphy sharing looks that showed just how lost they all felt.

She contemplated whether to bother with her hood, for she was sick of the comments about the Mountain although she didn't particularly feel like wandering the streets like a shadow, but Clarke was abruptly brought out of her thoughts as she almost knocked into Titus on her way down the corridor.

'Clarke, where are you going?' Lexa questioned, eyes curious.

'To look around Polis...I can leave, right? I'm not a prisoner anymore?' Clarke asked quickly, eyes narrowed.

'Of course,' Lexa nodded, stepping forward, 'why don't you join me for breakfast. I can show you around Polis before Queen Nia is brought here?'

'Heda, there might not be enough time-' Titus began but Lexa cut him off.

'They won't be back for several hours yet and Queen Nia will be a prisoner. She can wait.' Lexa dismissed.

Clarke eyed the Commander for a moment but Lexa seemed as stoic as ever. She didn't particularly feel like an excursion with Lexa around Polis was a great idea but she sensed no hidden agenda. It would perhaps be the first time they'd ever truly spent together without some threat hanging over them.

Clarke nodded and Lexa dismissed Titus and led the way to her chamber. Clarke did not miss the fact it was on the same floor as her quarters. The table was already full of food and Lexa indicated for Clarke to take a chair. After twenty minutes, Clarke had only picked at some fruit and Lexa watched her softly.

'Not hungry?'

'I'm not really a morning person.' Clarke said simply.

'I've been told that you've been up at dawn every morning.' Lexa replied, although her tone was questioning and not contradictory.

'Spying on me?'

'If I had, I would have known about the knife.'

Clarke shifted uncomfortably but Lexa was wearing one of her small smiles that made Clarke snap her gaze away, and look around the rest of the room.

'I can't sleep much.' Clarke admitted after a few moments of silence.

'After the Mountain?'

'The Mountain, the war, the dropship, my father...all of it.' Clarke murmured.

There had been a time when Clarke had comforted Charlotte in the night as she was taunted by her own memories of death. It felt circular to Clarke; she had so scorned Charlotte for what she had did to Wells and now she couldn't even count how many people she had killed.

Lexa shifted forward slightly in her chair.

'You are safe here, Clarke.'

Clarke nodded and blinked back tears.

'So are we going around Polis or not?' Clarke asked with a slight smile.

Lexa bowed her head in acquiescence and led them down to the city beneath. Two guards followed them at a short distance although neither Lexa nor Clarke paid any attention to them. Clarke looked around greedily. It had been an odd kind of torment to want absolutely no company while shut away and yet being so envious of the life that everyone led below her.

Polis was, without doubt, beautiful. The people here were just trying to make their way in life with what they had and without the threat of war looming over their head. At least if Azgeda could be controlled, Clarke thought.

They had been told that the ground was uninhabited and yet no place could possibly feel more alive to Clarke. The city was bursting with people, as carts came and went and the laughter of families dominated the area. There were different stalls that held food, alcohol and clothing. Clarke had spent so long in isolation, first on the Ark and then by her own fleeing from Arkadia, that she suddenly felt slightly self conscious to be in such a casual setting.

Clarke remained largely silent but would murmur her interest occasionally when Lexa pointed out something about the city or filled her in on some of Grounder history. She knew Lexa was trying. The vow of fealty the night before had left Clarke completely speechless. She'd barely had the capacity to think to help Lexa up, but some things were still raw. She had spent three months replaying Lexa walking away from her on the Mountain while she had begged her to stay and she was also consumed by guilt. She knew she should only care about the lives she had taken, especially for Maya's and the pain she had caused Jasper, but she was also in agony because Lexa had left. She was ashamed to admit her humiliation and heartbreak and although she thought she could read Lexa's intentions well, she wondered if one day Lexa would see her as expendable again. The second she had arrived in Polis she had heard Lexa break her deal with Roan. Well, he shouldn't take it personally, Clarke thought.

Clarke noticed Lexa become steadily quieter so she chanced a look at her companion. She didn't sense nerves and Lexa was walking with such purpose she must have had some specific destination in mind. Actually, Lexa looked almost hopeful and that just filled her with dread as they carried on. She wondered what on Earth Lexa had in store to show her. Not one of the customs she'd seen the Grounders go through thus far had been happy occasions. After a quarter of a mile, Lexa turned to Clarke and she was positively beaming which only alarmed Clarke further.

'I think you might enjoy this.'

Clarke, baffled, followed Lexa around the next corner to be met with an entire square of Grounders with easels before them. Clarke opened her mouth to speak but couldn't think of what to say so promptly closed it again.

'The artists, musicians and dancers come here, when the weather permits, each day until sunset. Hundreds of paintings are created every day. Would you like to see their works?' Lexa asked.

Clarke was stunned that Lexa had even remembered her one reference to the fact she liked art. It had been the evening of the great Gorilla chase (as Raven had called it and a day she largely tried to forget about). Lexa barely even knew her then and had taken a great deal of time to explain to Clarke exactly why she was weak and flawed. Lexa seemed so sincerely happy that she could take Clarke to this one place that she might enjoy that the bitterness Clarke had desperately held onto seemed to fall away. She hadn't seen art so beautiful since when she was inside Mount Weather...

'Dante did this.' Clarke said sharply and even she was taken aback by the abrupt return of that memory, and Lexa looked downright scared at this reaction.

'Excuse me?' Lexa asked, clearly bewildered.

'He showed me his paintings. My people told him I liked art and he used it to try to manipulate me.' Clarke spoke so quietly she didn't even know if Lexa had heard her.

She detested those memories the most. The one where the Mountain Men revealed their humanity because it just brought back the guilt of what she had done. It was easier to think of them of monsters. I'm the monster now, Clarke thought, I am become Death, the great Wanheda.

'I am not conducting a trick to manipulate you, Clarke.' Lexa said directly and softly. 'I understand your struggle to trust me but I am not lying to you and nor would I.'

'You did.' Clarke spat, and closed her eyes briefly in frustration because the last thing she wanted was to go down that path.

Lexa's brows furrowed for a second.

'If you are referring to Octavia, I did not agree-'

'I'm not talking about that!' Clarke replied hotly. 'I'm talking about the missile!'

Her last sentence was a seething whisper and she looked around to make sure nobody was paying them any attention. Lexa led them to a shaded corner that was out of the way and then turned to face Clarke.

'How did I lie about the missile?'

And Clarke was pleased to hear that Lexa sounded angry at such an accusation. Good; she didn't want Lexa to plead her way out of this.

'You said that you couldn't let me die from the missile in TonDC, that you could let everyone else burn but not me, and then you took all of your people and left me on the Mountain to die!' Clarke hissed, and she jumped slightly on the spot in anger, her composure forgotten.

'I didn't-' Lexa began.

'You kissed me and then left me to die!' Clarke struggled not to shout and she wanted to curse herself for being so weak; she never wanted to discuss what had happened in the tent.

'I didn't lie.'

'You told me-'

'I didn't think you would get through the door!' Lexa snapped.

'You-what?' Clarke faltered.

'I didn't leave you to die- I left your people that were already captured.' Lexa clarified quickly before Clarke could interrupt. 'I thought you would be safe outside, that there would be no way in without my army and that you would be forced to turn back.'

'You didn't think I'd be able to get through the door?' Clarke repeated, aghast and with her pride stung.

'How would I have expected that?' Lexa replied, not keeping the irritation out of her voice.

'You just thought I'd walk back to Arkadia and the Mountain Men would stop attacking us?'

'They had what they needed.'

'My people!'

'Clarke-' Lexa groaned, frustration clearly clouding her voice.

'So you just left my people to die?' Clarke scoffed at the idea that was supposed to console her.

'I underestimated. As I said, clearly you didn't need my help.'

And Clarke swore there was a hint of anger there that Clarke had been able to do it without her which both infuriated her and made her slightly smug. Yet Clarke still wondered.

'If you had known that I would still get inside the Mountain, what would you have chosen?' Clarke asked slowly but before Lexa could answer she cut across. 'Actually, no, do not answer that. I know already and I don't want to hear it.'

Clarke shook her head in defiance but she felt as if she were trying to cast any pent up emotions and memories from haunting her once more. Clarke stepped back from Lexa slightly and Lexa watched her silently. Clarke hated that it was so hard to argue with someone so composed.

'I wouldn't have.' Clarke said quietly. 'I wouldn't have taken the deal. I've thought about it a lot but I couldn't have left you. I'd have stayed just because you were my friend and you had asked me to help.'

'I know,' Lexa admitted.

Clarke dared to look at Lexa once more but found her as impossible as ever to read. Did Lexa believe that because she was aware of how much of a hothead she was and that loyalty was so important to her or did she believe it to be because of what they had shared? That was something Clarke was never going to ask.

'Come on,' Clarke relented, turning away.

Clarke carried on, through the artist square and Lexa followed silently. They would pause every so often while Clarke examined some painting or sketch. She longed for her sketch book but she had left it in Arkadia. She knew she could probably get one here but a part of her was afraid of what she'd end up creating. She used to draw her friends, her mother, Finn, even Lexa but now images of the Mountain were seared to her mind. Art might not be an escape for her anymore as it was when she was incarcerated on the Ark. It could just make her feel more trapped by all the things that she had done.

'When Finn...' Clarke's voice broke over the words slightly, '...there was supposed to be a death ritual. Lincoln had told me. He said it started with fire-'

Lexa nodded, unsure of where this was heading.

'If the Ice Nation had captured me, what would Nia have done to take Wanheda's power?'

Lexa's eyes widened at the question but Clarke kept looking at the pictures scattered around but Lexa could tell how important this was to her for how rigid she stood.

'It does not matter now.' Lexa whispered.

Clarke stood straight and turned to face Lexa. It pained her that the Ice Queen had killed Lexa's love and in such a brutal way. Lexa had said that she had wanted her to be safe, but she didn't know if Lexa's concerns were with Clarke Griffin or Wanheda.

Clarke tried to keep her face impassive and snap back out of thoughts which would lead nowhere helpful for all she would end up wondering yet again would be whether she would have left Costia at the Mountain.

'I won't ask for mercy.' Clarke stated, but her voice trembled. 'If you think that I will hesitate, like I did with Quint, I won't. I'm not that person anymore.'

Lexa gave the briefest of nods and Clarke hesitated a moment before speaking.

'Will it help when she dies?'

Lexa titled her head subtly and swiftly, questioning.

'After Costia' Clarke elaborated. 'Will it bring you peace when Nia dies?'

Lexa looked as though she was considering every possible answer.

'The dead are gone, Clarke,' Lexa reminded her softly, 'but Nia has no intention of stopping her quest for power over the coalition. While she lives, your life is in danger.'

'Because of Wanheda?' Clarke asked and once more Lexa looked as though she was choosing her words carefully.

'Yes, and because of our...alliance.'

Clarke didn't forget the first personal thing that Lexa had ever revealed to her. Costia was taken simply because Lexa cared for her. She supposed that should have warned her off in the first place and she was certain that some gossip had likely made its way to Nia. It had been no secret how often the two were in each other's company while planning the attack against the Mountain, and it had not gone unnoticed by many in TonDC that Clarke had remained by Lexa's side and seemed so unscathed when many leaders of the clans had to be dug out of rubble after the missile attack.

'Why did you want Skaikru to join the Coalition?' Clarke asked finally. 'It would only incite her further. Nobody wants us here-'

'I do.' Lexa stated simply.

Clarke could not bring herself to mention Indra's words from earlier in the week. She was too scared to find out any other revelations today, particularly when Lexa continued to stare at her so earnestly. Clarke struggled not to smile as Lexa continued to stare and she had to turn away, shaking her head slightly which only made Lexa chuckle softly, all tension broken if only for a second.

Beyond Lexa, Clarke caught a glimpse of a black women in her early fifties she had not seen since her days on the Ark. Clarke laughed in malevolent disbelief. Lexa turned quickly and looked around frantically at the source of Clarke's sudden change in mood.

'Son of a bitch.' Clarke breathed.

'What is it?' Lexa demanded.

'Oh, I am going to enjoy this. Follow me.' Clarke told her.

They walked quickly over to the woman's stall. Her hair was a lot longer than when Clarke had last come across her on the Ark but she certainly hadn't changed beyond that, given how she was just dismissing some other poor soul who she had no doubt conned.

'Nigel.' Clarke greeted with a sly smile.

'Clarke! It's so good to see you!' Nigel cried. 'The rumours going around about the great Wanheda, you wouldn't believe!'

'Not if they came from your lips.' Clarke bit and Nigel quickly lost her smile. 'Yeah, Raven told me all about what you did to her mother...and how you planned to have my mother floated.'

At this information, Lexa stepped forward rapidly but Clarke placed a placating hand on her arm for a second to signal her control over the situation. Nigel looked panic stricken as she took in Lexa, and the guards behind her.

'Your mother-'

'Was a fool for trusting you. What are you selling now, Nigel? This looks like medical equipment taken from Arkadia.' Clarke said, picking up medicines and wiring that Clarke knew was being used as stitches. 'Stealing from your own people, Nigel? From medical?'

'These items-'

'Belong to me now, unless you wish for Lexa's guards to arrest you which I'm very close to having them do anyway.'

Nigel looked thunderstruck but Clarke had to bite down a laugh at the fact that for once, Nigel had no retort. She had no comeback. It was quite satisfying really to get one up on somebody who lived off conning everyone else.

Nigel clearly wasn't going to doubt Clarke after the stories that had gone around about her. The title of 'Commander of Death' was enough to scare most people. Clarke didn't want to be pushed though. If Nigel was arrested for stealing medical supplies she could be held responsible for any deaths that should have been prevented had the medical equipment not been stolen. Blood must have blood, but Clarke was sick of the sight of it.

Clarke gathered up the items one by one while Nigel looked on in horror.

'Still think you're better than all of us?' She spat.

'Not one bit.' Clarke replied.

'You'll pay in this life.' Nigel scoffed.

'Clearly you are paying now if this is your life. It's sad to see you in this state, Nigel. I just know how much you loved the Ark. People trapped, just trying to survive on basic rations. There was always someone for you to exploit. Now you've lost your power. You'll never survive here. You fed off bullying and exploiting any person unfortunate enough to run into you. You loved the Ark, Nigel. Everyone has to love something, I suppose.' Clarke sighed.

'Everybody does.' Nigel snorted with an obvious look at Lexa.

Clarke had finished Lexa's sutures and could have thanked any god that existed that she had bumped into Nigel that day and been able to take those supplies. Lexa was still unconscious, but she had no fever and the bleeding had stopped. Clarke didn't know how having black blood would impact her recovery. She'd lost a lot of blood but she wasn't certain if it made any difference having black blood or not. She'd not once experienced any luck on the ground so far though.

Titus had left a while ago and Murphy was sitting quietly on the floor. She'd briefly checked him over. He was in a ghastly state but there was nothing serious. She shuddered to think at the torture he had once again endured. Murphy seemed to hold no personal animosity towards her despite the fact that he had been tortured for information on her. Clarke couldn't blame him for anything he might have said. In his boat, she didn't know what she would do.

She glanced down at Lexa, who almost looked peaceful. Clarke felt a tear roll down her cheek and she tried to take a deep steadying breath.

'She's going to be okay.' Murphy spoke from his corner.

Clarke smiled and nodded. She couldn't manage much more than that.

Titus burst through the door and both Clarke and Murphy jumped to their feet.

'You have to take Lexa.' Titus demanded and Clarke looked to Murphy but his face told her he was just as bewildered. 'Ontari knows about Lexa's state and she has killed the Nightbloods...she cut off Aden's head.'

Clarke's head was swimming. Aden. It couldn't be true, and she did not trust Titus.

'How is she even here? Lexa said she wouldn't be back until after her conclave? Lexa's not dead!'

'Ontari has not been far. The policy of 'blood must not have blood' has caused tension. You saw how one of Trikru tried to kill Lexa today. Ice Nation has been waiting for this. Roan was loyal to Lexa but Ontari is not and she is the remaining Nightblood. She wants the Flame.'

'She's Ice Nation, trained by a monster. Lexa would never want her as Commander even if-' Clarke trailed off.

'Lexa is too weak, she is not safe now and the guards themselves are not loyal. They will help Ontari finish the job.'

Regret washed over her as she remembered how Roan had bought the guards off. Perhaps she should have told Lexa who had given her the knife.

'You are the one who shot her.' Clarke raged.

'And now I am saving her.' Titus whispered and pulled out a box wrapped in fabric before bending to Lexa and turning her head, before slicing into her neck.

Clarke roared in anger and horror but Titus held her back calmly. Black blood trickled down and then an object with spindly legs dropped out of Lexa's neck and Titus quickly placed it in the box.

'What the hell?' Murphy muttered. 'An AI?'

Clarke didn't have a clue what was going on.

'It is the Flame. Lexa warned me of this when she discovered Ontari. She was worried of Ice Nation's tactics and that any conclave would not be respected. It is against tradition but Lexa is the bravest and most wise commander I have served. This ensures that both Lexa and the Flame are safe. You must leave with both.'

The spirit of the Commander chose the successor...the commanders lived on in Lexa...it was an AI. The dreams Lexa had were real.

'Is she really still in there too?'

'Of course she is.'

It was the first time Clarke had ever heard Titus speak so tenderly.

'Can that be put back in Lexa?' Clarke asked.

'I do not know. It takes on the blood. It is supposed to receive a new Commander each time. Anyone without black blood who tries to take it is killed. Nobody with black blood has ever tried to take it twice.'

'Who survived the last conclave? What happened to the last initiate?' Clarke demanded.

'Luna...she fled. She was a coward and betrayed the Flame and her people.' Titus dismissed.

'But she's the only one left who could safely take it. If Ontari has already gotten to the Nightbloods...to Aden...Luna is the only one.'

'Then go to her. Take Lexa and go.' Titus urged.