Two Months After Violet's Attack

Running a hand over her stomach, Violet bit her lips, feeling the scars through her thin fabric shirt. It should have been as simple as not touching her stomach but knowing the scars were there, she couldn't help but touch and once she felt the risen skin, all the images flooded back into her mind from the moment Katie stabbed her with the syringe, to the moment she walked out with Violet's baby as Violet lay surrounded by an enormous pool of blood.

Once upon a time Alan leaving her and marrying a young woman was her biggest dilemma. Eventually it turned into the competition between Pete and Sheldon. Leaning against the desk, Violet's gaze locked to world beyond the window of her office as she wiped the tears away with her thumb. She would give anything to go back in time and deal with those problems. Anything at all just to be able to have one of those problems where she'd be able to lie on the couch in her office like a patient of hers would and in her chair sat Cooper and he'd just sit there and listen to her, in the end giving her the best advice he could offer. At the end of all their conversations, she'd be able to smile and laugh and push her worries aside for a little while.

Though at the time she considered that a stressful life, she looked back now and that was the happiest point of her life. Addison had just come to L.A. and quickly weaved her way into the tight knit group of friends that Violet thought to be her family. Regardless of all the stressful situations she really didn't have a legitimate reason to distrust anyone or hate her life by any means. God how things changed.

She hated her life now. Violet Turner, the once optimistic 'everyone will find their happy ending,' Violet Turner hated her life. How could you blame her though? Helping people was something she was good at. No, not just good, she was amazing. And she thought she was helping Katie get through the miscarriage. She noticed her patient wasn't taking her medicine and she wasn't as concerned as Pete and Sheldon were and that really seemed to bite her in the ass; winding up getting gutted like a pig so Katie could steal her baby, leaving Violet to die.

She knew realistically the reason she and her baby were still alive was Addison. But theoretically she wondered why she survived that incident. When she felt herself coming closer and closer to losing consciousness, the first thing she did was silently pray that her son would be okay. After that, she hoped her friends would be alright and that they would be able to survive the trauma, especially Pete, following her death. And then she prayed to die just so all the pain could no longer agonize her.

But she woke up. She woke up in a hospital bed, paler than she ever thought possible for someone to be and she was in so much pain that no amount of drugs would ever be able to counteract what she felt.

The scare of never seeing her son again diminished as Pete brought her over to her bed and set him by her side. With Pete and Lucas by her side, she looked around and saw that everyone she cared about was surrounding her. They all looked so relieved, yet so agonized as she had felt, but for another reason. She agonized because she woke up. Once she woke up she knew that she had such a long road ahead of her before she could even put the slightest dent into recovery.

Hearing an unexpected knock on the door, Violet jumped where she stood, though not bothering to turn around. Whoever it was would say what they had to whether or not they saw her face. She didn't want anyone to see her crying.

"Violet," Pete's voice called.

She bit her lip without a word. Lately they haven't had a friendly conversation. It's been nothing but fighting about Lucas between the two of them. He wanted her in their son's life. She couldn't do it.

Once he realized she wasn't going to say anything, he continued. "Can you do me a favor and watch Lucas?"

Hearing him ask the one thing he's been trying to get her to do for weeks now, she trembled as tears continued to trail down her cheeks. After so many times of being asked and after so many times of fighting over it she kind of thought he'd get the hint by now.

"Are you crying?" his voice softened. She heard him take a couple steps forward.

"Where is he?"

"He's with Naomi," he told her, stopping just a couple inches behind her. She felt his hand against her back. Jumping at his touch, she closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing, hoping that she could just stop crying. Lately she's done so much crying and she felt like everyone was getting annoyed with her, regardless of what they told her.

"Can he stay with Naomi?" she looked over her shoulder, her swollen eyes staring back into his. "I know you're going to get pissed, but Pete, I'm trying," she could see the look in Pete's eyes and surprisingly enough, he didn't hold that angered look she's gotten so used to. He was really listening to her, running a hand up and down her back soothingly. This is the most he's touched her since the accident. This was the most anyone's touched her since the accident. "I'm trying to do the best I can. I want to be a good mother Pete, I do, and this is me being a good mother."

He moved in a little closer, continuing to move his hand up and down her back. "You think it's best that you stay away?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Right now, yes, I do. I'm a danger to myself at this point, I really am. I shouldn't be around a baby. Not right now."

"You're not a danger to anyone Vi."

Violet shook her head, her eyes to the ground. "I am. I can't feel. I can't tell if I'm ever happy, sad, scared, anything. I can't feel. It's like I'm dead inside Pete. I want to be a good mother, but this is me being a good mother right now," Finally, she looked up, turning her body to face Pete's. "This isn't permanent. I'm going to be a better mom one day. I'm going to have an actual relationship with my son, but not now. I can't right now. I'm sorry Pete."

He reached out for her again, and she jerked away, looking up at him apologetically before walking past him and out toward the main desk.

When she reached it, she looked up to find Dell.

"Hey," he offered his usual, cheerful smile. "Good morning."

When he said 'good morning,' she shook her head.

"No?" raised a brow. "What's wrong?"

"I just left my own office to avoid Pete," she thought out loud, hardly aware of the fact that Dell was just a couple feet away. "Pete asked me to watch my own son and I ran out of my own office. Great. So I'll just hang out in the bathroom or something. He won't follow me there, right? No, probably not."

She went to walk off, but Dell reached out and grabbed her by the arm. She jumped; her reactions to being touched still weren't the greatest. When he saw the surprised look on her face, he ran a hand up her arm and gently pulled her into a hug. "You're not hiding in the bathroom," he told her softly as he held onto her. She didn't hug him back, though she didn't pull away from him, so he continued to hold onto her, knowing that she probably needed someone to comfort her. "If you can't get back into your office, come with me to mine. Does that sound good?"

He looked down to see her shrug her shoulders. Once he realized she wasn't going to actually speak, he faked a smile. "Awesome enthusiasm, let's go," when he saw the smile pull from her lips, he grinned down at her and led her over to his office.

Closing the door behind them, Dell watched as Violet just stood there silently. "You can sit, you know?" he watched as once again, she shrugged her shoulders. He hated to see her like this. He knew everyone was trying to be patient with her, though he felt as though he was more patient than anyone else, being as compassionate of a person as Dell was.

He watched as her swollen eyes began to well up with fresh tears. Quickly, he walked over to her and pulled her into another hug. This time he didn't say a thing. He just stood there with her in his arms to let her know she wasn't alone.