Summary: "There's always adoption." Kurt says after the tenth, and worst, interview that week. - Finding a surrogate is hard. Future fic. Oneshot. Kurt/Finn

Spoilers: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie/book

Disclaimer: Tragically, I own nothing.

A/N: I wrote this back in November when one of my nieces was fixing to be born and I had a bit of baby fever. It came out in my Kinn love but I never got around to posting it until now.

A/N 2: The silly gender bashing is only silly!Kurt&Finn half-joking/half-ranting after a bad week of encounters w/a specific group of women. I do not (nor do silly!Kurt&Finn) feel anything but love for all women everywhere (most of the time :P ). Not meant to offend (Anon, I'm talking to you) and the category *is* humor, so don't take it to heart. XD

SHADOW PUPPETS

"There's always adoption." Kurt says after the tenth, and worst, interview that week.

Finn sighed. Finding a suitable surrogate wasn't about shopping for the right baby. It was about finding a woman that they would be able to stand being around for nine months, who was in good health and didn't have any funky genes to pass down to the kid. They were finding that the first requirement was the hardest to come by.

Finn remembered dating girls in high school and with each new interview a little bit of the crazy came back to him. Like Rachel's clingy obsessive stuff and Quinn's angry mood swings. All in all, he was happy to be settling down with another man. Not that Kurt didn't have his own crazy. Crazy was a way of life for him at Christina Aguilera concerts, fashion week in Bryant Park or whenever he went for a snack and discovered Finn ate the last of the tofu leftovers.

"You're not even a vegetarian!" Became the routinely frustrated rant after every veggie burger Thursday. Finn thought it was weird that nothing died to make it, but that stuff was good.

He set the tray of refreshments down on the kitchen counter and let his eyes wander over Kurt's stressed posture. He was tense and his eyes were closed in that exasperated way he usually reserved for crowded shoe sales. Finn knew the feeling. They were together for six years and Kurt's twenty-eighth birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks. They'd both hoped to have a surrogate arranged by then so they could make the announcement to their friends at his party. At the rate they were going, it didn't seem likely.

"Hey," Finn walked over to the sink where Kurt was running his empty glass under the faucet. The somberness in his movements was disheartening. Finn brought a hand down to the small of his back and cowered his head, trying to catch his eyes. "We're having a baby."

Kurt was still eying the dirty dish hollowly so Finn rubbed comforting circles into his back and leaned down, pressing a kiss into his temple. A small smile lifted one side of Kurt's lips, which excited Finn into beaming happily.

"It's going to happen," Finn assured him, stepping back and grabbing his own glass to wash beside him. "So that lady wasn't right for us, so what? We probably don't want someone who collects mazes to mother our child anyway."

Kurt shook the excess water off of the glass before setting it down on the dish rack and correcting drearily. "Maces. She collected maces."

Finn furrowed his brow in confusion.

Kurt wiped his hands and tossed the small towel back down on the counter, gesturing with his hands to indicate a round object. "Medieval weapon. You know, the ball with the spikes on it." He mimed triangles, drawing little pointed ends on the round image he'd drawn in Finn's mind.

Realization dawned on the tall ex-jock. He was thinking it wouldn't be smart to hang around someone with a bunch of mazes. Babies probably got lost in those pretty easily, but they could always board up the entrance. He couldn't think of any way to baby proof a bunch of sharp deadly weapons. His raised eyebrows quickly drooped, eyes sliding to the side. "That's…kind of worse."

Kurt's jaw set in agreement, pessimism beginning to settle around him even more after the creepy woman chewed the cookies they offered her like a goat and spent ten minutes talking about her vast collection of weapons. You could get more than discounted designer shoes from eBay, it seems. Kurt groaned. The bewilderment Finn tried to disguise during her speech made more sense now that it became obvious he didn't even know what she was talking about buying.

Finn shook his head at the plate of cookies as he walked them over to the refrigerator. "I thought she meant she bought mirror mazes from carnivals or maybe that bushy one where Voldemort killed that Harry Potter kid."

Kurt's eyes narrowed, but he dismissed it the next second because there came a point where that was just easier. "Well, the real tragedy here is that it is becoming horribly obvious how much easier lesbians have it than us. They can go to a sperm bank, shop around in portfolios to find the most healthy, intelligent and handsome donor and then presto, insert it into their own healthy ovum, bake for nine months and out pops a perfectly crafted little newborn. Gay men? It's either adoption or make the treacherous search for a sane woman to carry the baby for us. I don't think they realize how lucky they are. They may be crazy, but they're crazy people who can have their own babies."

Finn never experienced 'womb envy'. In fact, the movie Junior scared him so badly he hadn't been able to watch an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie since, which was really sad because he loved Terminator. But now any time he saw it on he imagined a robot baby inside John Connor's sworn protector (or enemy, depending on which installment it was), and he had to change the channel before he freaked out.

"I'm pretty glad we get a free pass on the whole…labor thing." He mumbled.

Kurt half-shrugged, eyes fluttering closed. "I could do it."

Flashbacks of Junior were starting to pop up in Finn's head so, eyes bulging, he rounded the island and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere. Only he couldn't think of anything. Babies were on the forefront of both of their minds, and maneuvering around things that would remind him of frighteningly pregnant men would be tricky for a while. Starting a family with Kurt would be worth a few nightmares, but his blue eyed partner seemed to sense his discomfort and dropped it.

"Maybe it's all for the best. We're not ready for this." He said matter-of-factly and walked out of the kitchen.

Finn lingered by the fridge, thinking for a moment that he meant the world wasn't ready for pregnant men-he hoped that day never came-but then it hit him he was talking about their attempt to be parents. He squinted at the floor and followed after him.

Catching Kurt by the elbow in the hallway, he shook his head slightly. "What are you talking about? It's a minor setback, that's all. We're going to find a surrogate and we're going to have a baby, and we are ready. We are." Nervousness crept up on him suddenly at the thought that Kurt might be backing out and changing his mind. His voice dropped, quiet but fervent. "I want this."

Guilt plagued Kurt at the anxiety on Finn's face, and he moved his arm out of Finn's grasp, grabbing both of his hands in his. "Of course you do. And so do I. This process is just making me crazy. I might get a chainsaw for the next woman who gives me a Hand That Rocks the Cradle vibe." One too many women had given Kurt the impression they would like to insert themselves in his and Finn's relationship in some kind of kinky three-way parenting deal. That is not the dynamic he wanted for his family. He would not be edged out by some seductress off her meds.

"I don't know what that means." Finn said, and it certainly wasn't the first time Kurt heard that from him but there was a touching sincerity in his next words. "But I do know that you are going to make a great father, Kurt Hudson. Hopefully me too." His eyes lit with an idea. "Hey, you know we should ask Rachel if she has any tips. She grew up with the whole two dads thing, and she's awesome."

Kurt smiled wanly. If you could call neurotic and narcissistic awesome…but Finn was being sweet and he didn't want to ruin it. "Sure." He said instead but realized that they would probably praise and spoil their child so much that they would turn into a little Rachel. And he would love her with all of his heart. He figured if thinking about being a dad made him discover a situation where he could love someone like Rachel, the whole 'unconditional' thing wasn't such a crock after all.

A few minutes later, they found themselves sitting on the floor in the unfinished nursery. Two of the walls were painted yellow, a nice gender-neutral color, but Kurt was rethinking it so the other two walls were still white. They already had a crib. It was really premature, but the moment Burt Hummel found out they were trying to have a baby he went out and got it. It was beautiful, and Kurt knew he had baby fever when he thought a piece of furniture that came out of a department store was beautiful. It was more about the symbolism.

It meant he and Finn were in this for the long haul, the really long haul. The forever haul. That might be intimidating for some people, but with his head leaning back on the white wall as he watched Finn point to the other side to indicate where he wanted to build shelves for baby books, Kurt couldn't feel anything but happy. The anxiety over finding the right surrogate rolled away at the enthusiasm coming from the man next to him.

"What are those things called?" Finn made circles with his pointer finger. "They spin around over the baby."

"Mobiles." Kurt filled in.

Finn nodded slowly. "They're supposed to comfort babies or lull them to sleep or something."

He lifted his hands and the sun came through the window in just the right way to cast a shadow across the yellow walls. He arranged his fingers to make the shape of a rabbit and moved his hands so the shadows would rock back and forth.

"We should get a really good one." Finn decided, watching the shadows for inspiration. "One with bunnies. Or something cool like airplanes or mazes."

Kurt had to suppress a smile, raising a hand to grab Finn's and intertwining their fingers. The shadow it created brought a calmness to Kurt's mood. He lowered their hands and rested them between them on the new carpet. Life wasn't about interviews and obnoxious incompatibilities with nutty women looking for an easy check. It was about moments like this, sitting on the floor of their future baby's room and thinking of ways to fill it up and make it perfect. It was about possibilities and shadow puppets.

Kurt leaned sideways into Finn and laid his head on his shoulder. Life was about the little things, and he was lucky enough to have hundreds of them every day and share it all with Finn. The next woman on the potential surrogates list would probably be another disaster to add to their growing pile of disappointment, but it was a step in the right direction. He erased the memory of the nutty, goat chewing, weapons enthusiast from his memory with an ease that he wouldn't have had without Finn beside him.

The odds were against them, but he couldn't bring himself to feel the logical dread. Instead he sunk closer against Finn and found himself looking forward to the next interview with a weary smile.