And a good day to you
Napoleon Solo prided himself on being smart, smooth and most of all, the best big brother in the world.
Napoleon Solo could recall in vivid detail the day he met the girl who would become the center of his world, his most favorite and precious person in the entire world. Her name? Gabriella Teller.
"But you may call her Gaby" – Udo, her devoted father, said, and the little eight year old gave Napoleon such a look that the thirteen year old was a little taken aback. Normally, his charming smile was enough to make anyone love in instantly, but it seemed he'd finally found someone immune to his wiles (as his mother Elizabeth called them).
It was not as easy task, to befriend the little girl. Sure, he was a teenager and she was a mere little girl, but he knew in his heart that she was his little sister, and thus it was his duty to care for her, and for that, she had to like him. Love him, if at all possible (and if it were the last thing he did).
Progress came in sluggish paces. Gaby called him 'Han', to which he couldn't help but grimace at, but she never complained when their parents left them alone for a date night or one of Udo's many professional engagements. At first, Gaby would little more than sit beside Solo as they watched television, but as time passed, she took to falling asleep beside him, curling up her tiny frame, head gently on his lap.
He would think later that that was how the little girl wormed her way so thoroughly into his heart. Despite being thirteen and wary of children, Gaby had a way of making him soft and caring like he only ever was towards his mother, though the little girl was certainly less outwardly grateful for it.
The first time Solo realized he had wormed his way into Gaby's heart was about two years after their parents married. By then, he knew Gaby saw him as a big brother (she introduced him as such on many occasions) and knew she had to have some fondness for him, but he was extremely shocked when he learned that his wiles had worked on her after all, even if it took two years for her to show it.
Everything came down to Victoria. Ah, Victoria. Tall, blond, statuesque and oh, so vicious. She was the first girl Solo was ever truly crazy about, but the blond was quite cool about their 'relationship', if one could call it that. She was hot and cold, but he took it all without much thought to the future. He was fifteen, after all, and all girls before her had fallen madly in love with him, so it was a matter of time, right?
Wrong. Victoria broke up with him in a very public and cruel fashion, and Solo experienced heartbreak for the very first time in his life. He did not care for it one bit, but stood his ground as Victoria laughed at him and exposed his most vulnerable moments with her, how he professed his love after only a few weeks, how he didn't mind her ignoring him in public, how he begged her to be with him.
The girl laughed, and so did her friends and classmates. Were Solo anyone else, he would have died to mortification, but alas, he took it in stride, or at least he appeared to. He'd long learned how to maintain his mask, and no one could see through it, he'd made damn sure.
Except, he forgot about his dearest Gaby.
"You bitch!" – the ten year old screeched, sliding into view. What she was even doing there was a mystery to Solo, but he couldn't focus on that when he watched in shock as Gaby body slammed Victoria into the ground and onto a mud puddle.
Everyone, Solo included, gasped and winced at the scene. Victoria loved wearing white, and that day was no exception. So much for a flawless appearance, and all because of one little girl.
Victoria screamed and Gaby raged at her, a tiny ball of fury unleashed on the girl who'd broken her big brother's heart. If Solo hadn't been so shocked, he'd have burst into tears at the words the girl was throwing around (though he would have to have a talk with her about appropriate language for a young girl like her).
The principal came rushing, and with a lot of difficulty, and the help of two teachers, he managed to pry the still shrieking Gaby off of the severely scratched and muddied Victoria. The man was clearly stunned that such a small child could do so much damage, but held her tightly as she quickly calmed down, as if the anger had disappeared just like that.
Their parents were called over, but since Gaby was not in high school, and only ten, Victoria's embarrassed parents said they would not be pressing charges or anything. Udo was almost deadly embarrassed about the whole incident, but Elizabeth winked at the girl and told her that they'd be having a very special dinner that night, despite Udo's weak protests to the contrary.
That night, Gaby came into Solo's room far past her bed time, and wordlessly curled up to him. He kissed her forehead and hummed a lullaby as she quickly fell asleep.
From then on, Elizabeth mused that it was Napoleon and Gaby against the world, and the world better bend to their will, or else. Udo shook his head in the background, clearly amused but unsure of how it all came to be. Solo held Gaby up in his arms, grinning widely, and the girl rewarded him with a cuddle, a common occurrence for years to come.
Solo would sit with Gaby and help her with homework, work with her on self defense (when he learned about this, Udo just asked him not to teach her how to kill a man), teach her to cook (which, though he didn't do it often, his family adored all the same). As he started to pick up languages with a speed that impressed even himself, he would also pass that knowledge along to his brilliant little sister, and she taught him German, which she thought was a great trade, and he could never refuse her a thing, so he went with it (though he was already nearly fluent in it).
When he turned eighteen, he announced he was going to join the army. Elizabeth shook her head sadly, Udo clasped his shoulder and wished him all the luck, and Gaby raged and cried and demanded he stay with her, and not go 'fight some silly war'. It was the first time she'd been so angry at him she stopped talking to him, and though it lasted only a couple of days, it broke Solo's heart anyway.
The cold war ended with the familiar warmth of Gaby's still small body against his, and he apologized softly, but stood by his decision as she remained quiet and angry. Up until the day he left for training, she tried to persuade him not to go, but she was the one who hugged him the tightest and the longest at the airport, her big brown eyes so sad he almost didn't go, however this was his future, he knew, and so he left without looking back.
While he'd feared that distance would cool his close with Gaby, he soon realized he'd been a fool to even think that. The girl monopolized his calls back home, and the times he managed to Skype in, she'd butt into every conversation he tried to have with Elizabeth and/or Udo, as demanding of Solo's affection and attention as usual. He couldn't deny, though, that he missed her dearly and cherished every moment they spent talking (with her often crying in German that he was an idiot and she would never forgive him if he died while in service).
Many years passed in such a manner.
As Gaby grew in age if not so much height (a fact Solo loved pointing out), and became a lovely girl with such enchanting wide eyes to go along with her deadly smile and sharp mind, Solo started to worry for her. Boys were the worst thing on the planet, he should know, and he would learn to teleport, if needs be, to throw the wolves off of his dear Gaby.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes mockingly at him one day over Skype, telling him that it might be karma coming for him after so many years playing with other boys' little sisters. His face must've twisted in dismay because she softened and told him that he knew his sister, and he'd taught her to defend herself, and she was Gaby. She'd be just fine, and he should focus on keeping his head. He didn't stop worrying, but she knew he wouldn't.
Gaby was seventeen when she first told Solo about a boy. He'd been dreading it for years, and had almost become complacent, thinking she might have no interest in dating and boys, but, alas, she was simply a bit of a late bloomer. The horrid boy's name was forgettable, Solo didn't even try to memorize it, and since Gaby told him it was 'over' a couple of weeks after, it was just as well.
Solo rose the ranks over the years, and became known as a smooth operator, good with the ladies, lethal to enemies, but they learned early on when he was a fresh faced teenager how attached he was to his little sister, and how easily he could switch from friendly to one's worst nightmare if someone were to even mention how pretty she was. He was often teased about his 'sister complex', but he brushed it all off. Many of his buddies were married, some even had children – he had his mom, Udo and Gaby, so what?
By the time Gaby was deep into her mechanical engineering degree, Solo finally returned home to stay. He'd served his country well, and was rewarded with a ticket home and an honorable discharge. Despite everything, though, he was glad to leave and eager to begin his civilian life.
His sister, now all grown up at twenty (though still considerably shorter than him), screamed when she first saw him, and he gladly hugged her and spun her around like when they were younger, and he felt a happiness he hadn't in many years. He was home, his family was safe and sound, and Gaby was good.
"Who's that?" – Solo asked, frowning at a skinny boy standing at the front door looking uncertain. His mind clicked and he growled a little.
"Napoleon, really" – Elizabeth tsked – "This is Andrew, Gaby's friend, remember? She mentioned him many a times"
"Andrew" – Solo started listing every single flaw he could see and deduce, and was ready to search into the kid's life to find out every awful things he likely had done in his life, because he couldn't possibly be good enough to even exist near his baby sister!
"Han" – Gaby said, voice even and controlled and, damn, he'd taught her that voice.
"Sorry, little sister. I'll be good, I promise" – he smiled wide and pretty, the way his superiors told him could get him out of a genocide charge, but his family knew him and didn't look mollified at all.
Andrew stayed for dinner, much to Solo's irritation. The kid dared (dared!) hold Gaby's precious (precious!) hand in front of Elizabeth, Udo and most importantly, Solo. How the kid thought he was worthy of touching Gaby was far beyond anything Solo could possible fathom. Who the hell did he think he was?!
The kid barely survived the night, and good on him for not being so stupid as to think he could get a kiss goodbye out of Gaby when Solo showed him the door with as much politeness as he could muster.
Gaby was not impressed, though.
"I am not a little girl anymore, you know" – she said before whirling around and stomping to her room.
Udo sighed and motioned him over while Elizabeth fixed them drinks.
The man who'd become a father to Solo over the years told him that he understood how he felt, and he shared his feelings that Gaby was still a little girl who liked to play in the rain and danced around the living room in her pajamas, but it was not the case anymore. She was an adult, even if only twenty, and she was Gaby, she wanted to live her life without anyone telling her how, even if that someone was her favorite person in the world.
Solo hated it. He knew it was all true, he knew that he was a man made, so why wouldn't Gaby had followed and become a woman? But she was his little sister! Wasn't it his one job in life to take care of her and make sure no one could ever hurt her? Of course it was!
Time to get creative, was what he heard from Udo. Perhaps not what the man meant, Solo would later notice, but all the same, it was the lesson the army man picked up on and decided to go with.
His mission? To protect Gaby Teller from the boys of the world.
That was how Solo decided to live his life. In between getting a job as an art dealer and interpreter, the man looked after Gaby like an annoying shadow (or so his mother and sister called him with exasperated fondness). He followed her around campus whenever possible, sometimes even sat on some of her classes (sometimes showing off his bright mind with only a hint of a smirk), and overall became a fixture. Her friends flirted with him shamelessly, but he dutifully refused them all (some more mournfully than others).
Seeing Gaby in her natural habit, so to speak, made Solo painfully aware of the truth – he'd adored her since the moment they met and thought she was special and wonderful and perfect, but it seemed boys were finally catching on, and it pissed him off so bad. Of course Gaby was perfection! And of course she deserved love! But no boy was good enough! No boy was worthy of her smiles!
Gaby knew, Solo was sure, but she never said anything, so he kept scaring boys left and right every chance he got. He figured that if he scared them, then they weren't right for Gaby (who could be very intimidating), so just as well. His baby sister only gave him looks every now and then, as if measuring him, but she simply smiled at him and thanked him for being such a great brother.
Eventually, Gaby graduated and started at a major racing cars company while also working on a masters degree. Solo wholeheartedly approved, though as he got busier with his artistic and linguistic work, he lacked the time to follow her around and make sure all the boys knew how precious she was, and how even if they got through him, they'd still have Gaby to deal with – and his little sister was tough as nails, no matter her diminutive size.
His favorite girl was twenty five when Solo got the worst scare of his life.
She'd been working in Berlin for a while, and had informed the family that she was coming home – and she was bringing a guy back. A guy! What did she even mean, A GUY? Udo tried to calm him down as Elizabeth sighed deeply and left the room to cool off from her son's high spirits.
Had Gaby found a boy worthy of her time? No, it couldn't be, there was no such boy out there.
"Papa, mama" – she greeted their parents as soon as she came out of the cab – "Han!" – she said, and jumped in Solo's awaiting arms – "I missed you"
"I missed you too– Is that a giant?" – he cut himself, staring at the very tall, blond man stepping out of the cab and grabbing some suitcases from the trunk.
"Don't be mean, that's who I was talking about. Remember?"
Remember? Of course he remembered, but she'd never mentioned she'd found a real life giant and was bringing him home with her! And he was definitely not a little boy. Was he truly Gaby's kind of man? Big and burly? He looked too old for her, how old could he possibly be? No, Solo didn't like it at all.
"Illya, this is my father, Udo, and my mother, Elizabeth" – the giant shook both of their hands, handsome face closed up even as he turned to Solo – "And my dear big brother, Napoleon Solo, but maybe you should call him Solo"
"Solo" – the man said, his accent heavy – "It is very nice to meet you all, I am Illya Kuryakin"
"Illya" – Elizabeth mused with a smile – "Such a lovely name"
"Thank you, ma'am"
"Oh, please, Elizabeth. And Udo, of course" – the man looked ready to argue, but one look from her and he shut it down. Smart man, Solo thought.
"Shall we go inside? It was such a long flight" – Gaby said, and Solo held back a flare of anger when she grabbed the giant's arm.
What in the hell was going on?
Gaby had never travelled with a– With a man before, she had certainly never invited a man to stay with them (if he was reading the situation correctly). Who was this giant? What was he to dear Gaby?
The giant was staying in a hotel after all, mercifully, though Gaby had tried to pout and have him stay over, but Udo and Elizabeth put their feet down, and Solo was glad he had not had to do a thing about it. it was always awkward for his parents when he tried to be the one Gaby turned to for the decision making.
Illya, and Solo did not care for that name at all, was cool as ice, but very polite, so much so that Solo couldn't fault a thing he did or said. He kept his hands to himself too, a point for him, though Gaby was the one to touch his arm and hand gently at times, smiling just so at him. The blond's mouth would then twitch slightly, and Solo felt– Something. He didn't like it, though.
Solo cooked dinner, trying to show the– Man how well Gaby was taken cared of, and, should he prove himself, how she ought to be treated in the future. His mother and father complimented him easily, and his beloved sister smiled with stars in her eyes, chirping how much she'd missed his food. He puffed up in pride, and turned to Illya with a raised eyebrow.
"It is very good, Solo, as Gaby told me it would be" – the blond said simply, and man, it annoyed Solo that his sister had told the guy about his cooking, though he didn't know why it annoyed him so.
After dinner, Udo gave Solo a look as he nodded and went to the kitchen to make dinner, or so he said, leaving his son and Illya alone for the first time. The men stared at one another and the former army man twitched in anticipation.
Despite being an architect, Illya was built like a linebacker, and Solo wasn't too sure he could take him, hand to hand, if it came down to it. He'd never had to be physical with any of Gaby's boys, no, if needs be, she took care of that just fine, but this guy. As good as Gaby was, Illya was tall, solid and Solo could sense he had a volcano under all that cool. He was dangerous, and Solo didn't like dangerous things around his baby sister.
"So. You're planning on staying in the US, huh?"
"Yes. I got a job in New York"
"To be close to Gaby?" – the brunet asked, and the blond shrugged.
"It worked out like that, at least"
"What are your intentions towards her, anyway?"
"My intentions?" – his lips twitched slightly.
"Yes. I need to know if you only want to fool around with her, or if you're interested in... More with her"
"I should say that... It is none of your business, Cowboy" – the giant said with a smirk.
"Excuse me? It very much is my business"
"No, it's Gaby's business, it's my business. Not yours"
"I'm Gaby's brother. I will make it my business if I want to" – Solo growled.
"You may try"
"Careful, Red Peril, I don't take well to people like you trying to toy with my baby sister" – the blonde leaned forward and stared back at Solo.
"I do not toy with the people I care about" – he paused – "I care for Gaby, she is very special to me"
"She IS special, she's the most special person in the entire world"
"I agree"
"Wait, you–?"
"You are her brother, she said you were very protective, but you need not attempt to intimidate me. I am not going anywhere"
"You know I don't like you, right? I don't trust you to even be in my house, let alone be anywhere near my sister"
"I know it will take time for you to understand that Gaby has made her choice, and I will not move from her side for as long as she wants me there"
Solo narrowed his eyes, trying to sense any bullshit or deceit in the other man's face, but try as he might, all he could see was a deep fierceness and devotion to Gaby – and hell, wasn't that all Solo ever wanted her to find (that and a guy who would be easy for him to bend and control and boss around)? Peril wasn't a man he ever imagined for Gaby, but it seemed his opinion wasn't needed (or wanted) for once in all their years as siblings.
"So, Peril, you follow sports at all?" – Solo shifted the conversation completely, and the Russian merely raised an eyebrow.
"I do not, I prefer history and art"
"You don't say"
By the time Gaby, Udo and Elizabeth came into the living room carrying coffee and pieces of cake Solo had baked, the two men were engaged in a deep battle over a chess game. Neither noticed any changes in the room, far too focused on their opponents' attacks to even stop and smell the coffee.
"This... May have been a mistake" – Gaby said under her breath as she set the coffee tray down and neither her brother or boyfriend acknowledged her, in itself a bizarre occurrence.
"Oh, my dear" – Elizabeth soothed gently – "They are getting along, what more could you possibly want?"
Once the game was over, the coffee drank and the cake eaten, Solo challenged Illya for a little one on one match out back. Udo tried to protest, knowing how vicious his son could be, and Elizabeth winced at the damage that was bound to befall her backyard, and Gaby stomped her foot, not wishing for either of her men to hurt one another.
None of them were heard, and soon enough, the two men were screaming insults (in all languages they knew, which were a lot) and hurling punches and kicks – when they weren't too busy tackling each other and rolling on the grass. The Teller–Solo family watched on from the porch with almost identical looks of exasperation, amusement and resignation.
"This WAS a mistake" – Gaby stated, rolling her eyes as Udo shook his head and Elizabeth sighed.
They followed at Solo gave out a particularly loud shout and moved with graceless agility to tackle a readied Illya.
Despite their loud arguments, they were made to share a room that night and the next, with Gaby looking at them very pointedly and demanding they get along OR ELSE. She even had to return the first night when they bickering got particularly loud for the rest of the family, and her glare and hands on her hips made them shut up very quickly.
"Take care of her, Peril" – Solo said when the couple was about to grab a cab to the airport.
"So I shall, Cowboy"
"Oh boy" – Gaby mumbled and after a quick hug to her brother, she started shoving her boyfriend into the cab.
"How does it feel, baby?" – Elizabeth asked, putting her chin on Solo's shoulder as his eyes followed the cab.
"What?"
"Your baby sister is all grown up now" – he watched the cab until it disappeared into a corner and sighed.
"I don't like it"
"Don't worry, son" – Udo said him with a mischievous grin at his wife – "There are some jobs that never end, and a big brother's definitely doesn't"
"That is not very reassuring at all, dear"
"Sure it is"
As their playful bickering washed over him, Solo smiled as he realized the truth in his father's words.
It didn't matter whether Illya remained in Gaby's life from now on – Solo would always be her favorite big brother.