A/n: It is official. I have become trash for Kylo Ren. This is a product of that but also served as a gift for a friend. Enjoy!
You Are Mine
My eyes opened to the sound of my empty stomach grumbling. I could not see, for the room was cast in darkness. This darkness was all I had known for the last… I didn't even know how long that I had been left in this room where I was it's only content. It could have been a couple of days, but it likely could have been a week or more. Strange, how you lose track of time when you cannot tell how it is passing. The last time I could recall was it being midday, but that was back on Crait with the Resistance. That was also the day I had last ate something and my stomach ached for even just a crumb of food.
I sighed in frustration, recalling how the First Order had captured me. There had been so few of us left and my comrades didn't even notice my absence as they escaped. I fell behind after being snagged by one of the caves stalagmites of salt. By the time I had gotten uncaught, I had lost track of which way the group of surviving Resistance had gone. There were branching paths and I had not thought someone would be there making sure everyone stayed together. "Hello?!" I called out, my voice echoing around the cavern. "Is anyone here?!" There was no response and I knew that I was alone. Defenseless and alone.
There was no telling the consequences of getting lost in these seemingly endless tunnels. One of them I hoped would take the rest of the Resistance to safety. A feeling deep inside me told me that they would make it out, but I was not going to be with them. It would likely not dawn on them that I would not be there. I was a medic in training, but not the only medic in the group. There had been a few others and I had only recently began to learn. The only damage my absence would cause would be one number less to the size of the survivors. Along with the hope of their safety, I prayed they would not lose hope.
It was not too much longer until I decided it wise to hide. The First Order knew we had been in here and would likely search for the last of us. Kylo Ren would not let us go if he had any say in the matter. If I wanted any chance of surviving, it was in my best interest that I hid before they stormed this base. I found a crevice in the wall of one of the nearby tunnels that I managed to squeeze inside of. Salt dusted the air and crumbled from the walls, the mineral stinging my eyes and coating my throat. I remained still and silent despite the discomfort this wretched place caused.
My breath hitched when I heard voices that I knew belonged to the First Order's search party. They were loud, but I could not make out what they were saying over the many echoes their voices brought. My heart beat faster in my chest as the voices got louder, meaning they were venturing further into the cavern. I had shut my eyes tightly as a fresh shower of salt crumbled from above me. My mind was running rampant with my unspoken worries. How long would it be until they left? When would I be able to escape? Would I be able to escape? The sound of my own voice was louder than any engine and I found it difficult to stay calm…
And then the strangest feeling overcame me. That fear intensified as I felt something tickling at my consciousness. It was the oddest sensation and I clutched my head, as the feeling grew stronger. What was this? This feeling probed at my mind and I tried to resist. I succeeded for only a moment until it slipped it's way by and my breathing ceased. "Hello." I couldn't respond to the voice in my head. "Why did they leave you behind?" The feeling in my head shifted and I heard it chuckle. It knew that they had left me behind. I felt like screaming at this intrusion of my thoughts. The need to break this strange connection was fueled by an overwhelming sense of fear. However, I was powerless. Not only was it talking to me, but I knew deep down that the voice was in control of my every action. "How foolish of them. Giving us one of their own and such a weak one."
"Get… out…" I seethed, my teeth clenched. If I could have moved, I would have smashed my head against the wall just to get rid of the voice. It shifted again and I nearly doubled over in pain, my hands bracing myself against the wall opposite of me. The white salt turned red, leaving my handprints behind.
"Resistance is futile." he spoke calmly.The feeling went deeper and I knew that I could no longer fight back. It was as he said, 'futile'. "You will come out of hiding and surrender to the First Order." And I did. I mindlessly, yet so aware of my actions, left my hiding spot and trekked back to the entrance until I came across a group of First Order Troopers. I surrendered, dropping to my knees before them and letting them cart me away.
I did not remember what happened between then and when I awoke in this dark room. Anything and everything could have occurred. I was grateful I did not know where the Resistance would flee. They could not have found that out while I was incapacitated what I did not know. I had the feeling that they had everything else I knew already. My stomach clenched and I gagged, feeling bile burning my throat. I sat there heaving dryly as there was nothing in my stomach to empty. When the feeling of nausea passed, I let myself cry. I sobbed weakly in the corner of the room I had curled up in. It would be better to get this out before someone had the chance to see it.
Ages seemed to pass until I was dragged from my thoughts by a blinding light. It was almost too much for my senses and I felt a wave of nausea roll over me again. Before I could start to heave, I felt a prick against my neck and heard the hiss of a hypo-spray and the nausea dissipated. I could make out the outline of a person in front of me against the bright lighting. Behind them stood at least two Troopers. The person who had just injected me with something beckoned them and I was roughly dragged to my feet. I blinked a couple of times and noticed my vision starting to get a little better. It was less blurry and I could see the hall outside this room a little. It was long and was made of black glossy metal.
"Take the prisoner to the Supreme Leader." A sense of dread washed over me and the Troopers dragged me from what I was certain was a cell. I could see glossy black floor and walls, but any little details were lost to me. We passed other Troopers and members of the First Order. Many glanced my way, some choosing to look away and others shot me smug looks. If I could have broken free of the Troopers dragging me, if I could have even stood on my own, I would have wiped that look of their faces. There was no stopping as I was dragged through this place and the closer we got to where I was being taken, the emptier the halls became until it was only the First Order member and the Troopers that had retrieved me.
A set of immense black doors is where we stopped. The person that had injected me with the hypo-spray knocked and cleared their throat before announcing my arrival. A chill ran down my spine as I heard the voice from the cave answer, both from behind the door and in my mind, "Enter." The Troopers pushed the doors open and threw me inside before leaving immediately. It was just the owner of the voice and myself now. Everything about this situation screamed 'DANGER!' at me. I knew I had no power here and even less knowledge of where 'here' was. There was no escaping and as much as I wanted to believe there was hope, I had none.
I lifted my head and looked around the room. It was void of anything that would tell you someone lived there with the exception of a bed in the corner of the room and a door that led to a bathroom and likely a closet. In the middle of the room, was a chilling black throne-like chair. That is where my captor sat and watched me from. I looked at him in confusion, as I had thought it would be Snoke. Before I could say so aloud, I felt myself lifted of the ground by Kylo Ren himself. I was suspended there as he looked on me with a look of masked anger. "I am the Supreme Leader now. Snoke is dead." He pulled me forward and then dropped me directly in front of him. My knees hit the ground hard and I cried out in pain. He leaned forward, his eyes never leaving mine. "Who are you?"
"Don't you know already?" I snapped.
"So what, if I do?" Kylo replied, his voice eerily calm. "Tell me."
"Make me." I shot back.
"Have it your way." Kylo lifted his hand and I felt him in my mind, knowing it had been him in the cave who did the same. He tore through my thoughts and memories so fast I could not keep up. Everything he probed at in my mind spilled from my lips. I told him of how I had been rescued by the Resistance during a raid on my planet by the First Order. He brought forth my feelings of fear and the realization that many of the people I had known had died. I was forced to tell him of my attempt to jump ship after being rescued only to be kept from doing so by a guard. That led into how I met my teacher on the med-ship and how I began my apprenticeship. The struggles I faced while learning and the feeling of uselessness in a place surrounded by people with so much more knowledge than myself. He brought forth the image of the ship I knew my teacher to be on exploding in the escape to Crait.
He stopped there and I had not even realized the tears that had started to run down my cheeks. Kylo Ren shook his head and sighed. "You rebels never learn." I wished I could have said something in retort, but my mind was still reeling from his intrusion. "You're weak. All of you hold out hope for nothing. This is a cycle that will never end. You are fighting in an attempt to cease an unavoidable conflict. It is pitiful."
"The Resistance will stop you." I managed to say, my voice no more than a hoarse whisper. The new Supreme Leader heard me loud and clear, yet did not say anything more. "Good always wins."
"At what cost?" My mind was filled with the images of every loss the Resistance had faced, even the loss of my family and friends from the raid. Kylo stood and dragged me to my feet with the sweep of his hand. He stood with his face mere inches from mine, his amber eyes burning with power. "Your losses would suggest defeat. One person lost means nothing to them. You are the perfect example. I bet they haven't even noticed your absence."
I moved to strike the face before mine, but was held still. Struggling to break from the grip of Kylo Ren's force, I shouted at him. "It doesn't matter! The Resistance has escaped and it will grow. They will be greater in number before you can do anything to them." I gave up struggling and spat in the young man's face. "Down with the First Order!"
Before I knew what was happening, I was slammed against one of the walls. Hard. I groaned as all the air was knocked out of me. Kylo still had a hold of me and I was pinned against the wall. He stormed over and wrapped his fingers in my hair, pulling it so I was looking up at him. "You will pay for that, rebel. You will pay dearly." He shoved me back against the wall and I fell to the floor, watching as he stormed out of the room. A woman dressed in a dark grey First Order uniform came into the room followed by the two Troopers who had dragged me here. I was certain the woman was the one who gave me whatever made my nausea dissipate. Once again, the Troopers restrained me and escorted me from the room. My strength had come back to me, if only a little, and I could walk rather than be dragged.
"Where are you taking me?" I questioned. "Back to that room?"
"Silence, rebel scum." the Trooper to my left said.
"You will find out soon enough." the woman behind us responded, but did not answer my question. As much as I wanted to know I was not going back to that dark room, I knew no one would tell me. I would not have any of my questions answered while I was a prisoner. Here, I would answer to the First Order and the First Order alone.
Where they had taken me was far worse than that room. I arrived in what I immediately knew was where they kept other prisoners. Cells lined the halls and if not for the hypo-spray I had been given, I would have been dry heaving again. The smell of this place was wretched and I was surprised it was contained to this place alone. As I was marched down the hall, prisoners of many different races came to the front of their cells see who the newest addition to the First Order's clutches was. Some didn't seem to care whilst others were amused. We continued down the hall to the very last cell and I was thrown inside. "Do not try anything, rebel." the woman said as the Troopers walked back the way they entered. "Orders are to kill any prisoner that causes trouble." The doors hissed closed and I was left alone.
I sat on the hard bench that served as a bed. It was the only piece of furniture, if you could even call it that, in the cell besides the toilet in the corner of the room. The dim yellow light that was cast over the room was my only comfort. Anything was better than that dark room I had been confined to. It shocked me that they hadn't taken me back there. Sleep had been difficult with the fear I had felt there in the dark room. I was certain that hypo-spray would not last forever and it would be a good idea to get some sleep before then. Stretching out on the bench, I shut my eyes and let myself go.
…
"Where am I?" I asked to the darkness. This was a different darkness than that room. This would clear. I knew it would eventually. My eyes tried to focus on what was behind the shadows, but I was unable to see what was beyond. My arms were stuck at my side. In fact, I could not move anything except for my eyes. It was just like…
"How are you here?" The darkness swept to the side to reveal who had just spoken, but I had known who it was as soon as he spoke. Kylo Ren stood across the way from me, his arms at his sides. The expression on his face did not give how he felt away. It was just like before I had angered him back in his quarters. He stepped forward and I drew a sharp breath as I felt the invisible restraints of the Force tighten. "You didn't answer me."
"I don't know." I replied. Another step and it tightened again. "Honestly! Last I remember was falling asleep."
"The only reason you could be here is…" I watched helplessly as he took another step. Did he know that him moving closer was doing this? I felt like there was a heavy weight on me. It caused my body to ache, but I knew if he moved forward any further I would be in pain. "That is impossible. How are you hiding it from me?"
"What?" I asked, feeling very confused. I cried out as he took another couple steps forward. My body was burning from the inside. It was impossible to writhe in pain and it made the sensation more intense. Before I knew it, his image flickered out of sight and the hold on me was no more. I breathed a sigh of relief, but it was all for naught. In an instant, Kylo Ren was standing toe to toe with me. The pain overcame me and I couldn't hear his words aloud, but heard them in my head as in the caverns.
"You are different." his calm, emotionless voice echoed around my head. In the background, I heard someone faintly screaming. It was like they were far away. It wasn't hard to guess that it was my own screams that I was hearing. "This is good news. I will be seeing you again very soon." He disappeared, this time for good, and I slumped to the floor. My throat burned and I couldn't feel anything but that. What had just happened? What had he meant by 'different'? What was this place? Last I remembered, I had been falling asleep. Was this all a dream? It was more of a nightmare than a dream. The darkness had closed back in and I knew that even if I could run, it would find me. This darkness would snuff out any light it found. So I stayed there, laying weak, frightened, and utterly alone in that hell.
…
The odd sensation of moving woke me. My eyes shot open and I fought to sit up, but quickly realized I was strapped down. I lifted my head and noted the same woman from before leading the way. She glanced back at me briefly before turning back to the way we were going. Behind the transport cart, walked a handful of Troopers with their blasters drawn. What was with them restraining me constantly? I couldn't escape them. Even if I did, it wouldn't take them long at all to catch me or kill me. The latter was more likely.
Why was I being moved like this? Something was odd about the entourage of Storm Troopers. I was not dangerous in the slightest. There was also no explanation for the extra restraints. My ankles, legs, torso, arms, and wrists were held down with thick straps. In fact, if they thought me a threat, it would have been in their interests for them to leave me locked up in that cell. There had to be something else going on. Kylo Ren's words from my dream, if it was one, echoed in my head. Was it because he thought I was hiding something from him? If there was something I was hiding from him, I wouldn't be able to stop him from finding what it was. He would take it from me, one way or another. But how could he have known if that had all happened in my dream?
After taking an elevator to a higher level of this ship, we arrived at some sort of medical bay. The staff of the med bay wore light grey uniforms. A few of them were on me the moment we passed through the doors, taking my vitals and using scanning my life signature into their database. I hissed in pain as something pierced my wrist. Upon looking, it was a cuff that I did not know the purpose of. Once the medics had finished, they left and I was taken into a room that had guards posted outside of it already. Inside, the room was white and brightly lit. It smelled of disinfectant. A man in the light grey medic uniform was inside as well; however, he wore a badge that I had not seen on any of the other uniforms. He grinned at me as if I was a piece of meat. A shiver ran down my spine and I was sure it was from the vibe this guy gave me than how cold the room was.
"Welcome, rebel." he said, his voice even creepier than the smile he had just given me. "Thank you, officer. The subject is secured so your presence is no longer needed."
"The Supreme Leader has ordered me to remain nearby." the officer, as I now knew, replied. "He will be making an appearance, doctor. If the prisoner proves difficult—"
"I can handle it." the doctor snapped. "Now get out of my examination room." He did not say anything more and the officer left the room. The man looked back to me and I glared back at him. He shook his head and walked over to stand above me. "No need for such a sour look. I am not going to pull a blaster on you like Officer Kess seems to wants me to do to every prisoner she brings me. It'd be merciful to do so and I frankly can't allow that." The doctor dragged a metal tray out from a wall and lifted an object from it.
"Why am I here?" I asked, watching nervously as he adjusted whatever he had just picked up.
"You think you're clever, don't you?" The doctor lifted what he had picked up from the tray and I felt my heart skipped a beat. A needle glinted in the bright light of the room. He picked up a vial and pressed a button on the syringe that drew it's contents. "The Supreme Leader has sensed the Force in you. You hid it very well until last night."
"That still doesn't explain why I am here." I commented, tensing as he brought the needle closer to me. He pulled it away and I let out a breath of relief.
"They never tell any of you what is going on." The doctor set the needle down and turned back to me. "It was Snoke's wish to find a Force-carrying subject that could give him an army of Force gifted children. It is desired by the Supreme Leader to carry out this task. Both had believed that the girl from Jakku was the last Jedi. Yet here you are and with an ability to hide it from someone trained in the ways of the Force. How funny it is that the Supreme Leader found you when he had given up hope of carrying this plan out." I felt like vomiting, yet nausea did not overwhelm me. It must have been something the cuff on my wrist had injected me with. If I had gathered the doctor's words correctly, I would carry Kylo Ren's children. They would be gifted with the Force and he would raise them to be a part of the First Order. He picked the syringe back up and tested it before bringing it quickly to the crook of the elbow closest to him. "It is a pity that you will be taken by him. You are so very beautiful."
"I don't have the Force!" I fought to move from the needle, but was held in place by the restraints. "He must be mistaken! I can't move things with a wave of my hand! Please, don't do this!" The needle pierced through my skin and into the vein there. He pressed another button and it released whatever it had been that he had drawn from the vial. "Please." I whimpered, as I felt a warmth begin to spread up my arm.
The door to the examination room hissed open and in walked the Supreme Leader. The doctor saluted him and motioned him over. My chest was warm now and the heat from the drug the doctor had administered to me continued to spread. "Your lordship, I present your surrogate." he said. "She may not be able to use her gift, but our tests have already shown much promise. The only way to tell is to begin the second phase. Shall I retrieve the samples?" I shivered under the gaze of the man I now knew would force me to go against all that I believed. The doctor's mention of 'samples' also had me worried. If phase one had been to secure a subject, phase two had to be the injection of…
"No." I nearly cried out of relief upon hearing this from Kylo Ren. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought to keep them back. Perhaps he would spare me. He knew I wasn't lying when I said that I didn't have the force. "Doctor, please leave us alone."
"But sir, we have to start the process within the first 24 hours after administering—" The doctor suddenly began choking and he clutched at his neck. Kylo pushed his hand towards the man and he was pushed backwards. The door hissed open and Kylo Ren must have released him because the man fell to the floor gasping for air. "Wait!" he cried hoarsely as the doors shut and a resounding click throughout the room told me that it was locked. My heart was beating wildly now and the heat in my veins had spread to most of my body, the panic serving to speed its movement.
"I told you I would make you pay." Kylo said, removing his gloves and shoving off his heavy cloak. The heat was growing stronger and I felt my body start to buzz from inside. It was the strangest feeling and I disgustingly found it to not be so unpleasant. Kylo Ren leaned over me, his hands on either side of my head, his breath tickling my nose. His dark brown eyes burned down at me with such intensity I thought I would melt under his gaze. "You belong to me from here on out, rebel, and what better a way to mark you as mine…" I heard the distinct sound of fabric ripping, but was unaware of whose or what article of it had been torn. "… than giving you the highest honor possible?" I was now burning all over. The heat rolled over me in waves and I cried out as my hips were grasped by rough hands. My eyes couldn't focus any longer and I shut them tightly, praying everything would be over. Warm air tickled my ear and my hearing started to fail me as well. Over the din of blood pulsing against my ear drums, I heard a whisper just below my ear that would echo in my memory until my last breath: "You are mine."