Femme Fortress 2: Meet the Heavy

The setting takes place inside what looks like an old wooden warehouse. The rafters are dark with dry rot and the walls are dusty from ages of neglect. The only new things in the room are the various wooden crates of all sizes and assorted labels.

Towards one large crate labelled, "ammo" walks a huge Pacific Islander woman in a red vest carrying an equally huge gattling style gun. Though it's nearly as big as she is, she takes her mammoth weapon and gently puts it down without a sound.

Sitting down on the ammo crate, the large beefy woman adjusts her short black hair with a thick finger and addresses the documentary crew. "I'm the Heavy weapons expert in this shithole of an outfit. I can bench press a full grown elephant seal and I'm here for the money."

The Heavy pats her gun and starts to describe it. "This is the MK-11 Raiden class minigun. This bastard fires eleven thousand rounds per minute with the highest accuracy of any weapon in its class."

Heavy holds up one of the giant bullets that go into the gun, "This is a fucking hungry man; you can take this fucker to the other side of the Milky Way and take out both the aliens and the predators."

She goes on, "My job involves—

RING-RING!

"Fuck!" Heavy curses as her cellphone rings. "Who the fuck is that?"

Pulling out her phone, Heavy checks the caller ID but doesn't recognize it. Still, she answers the cell phone. "Yeah?" She asks, annoyed.

"Yeah, hello," asks the female voice on the other end of the line, "Is Mike there?"

"Who?" Heavy demands.

"Mike, Mike Untstinks" the caller explains, "Have you seen him?"

Heavy rolls her dark eyes but humours the caller. "Hang on," she grumbles. She turns around and calls past the frame of the camera. "Anybody seen Mike? Mike? Mike Untstinks? Hey everybody, Mike Untstinks! Is he there?"

From off camera, a female voice calls out, "Maybe it's a yeast infection. Or maybe you should just try soap!" Then a dozen or so voices join in laughter at the heavy.

Instantly, Heavy's eyes bulge with anger as she realizes that she's been prank called. She turns to speak to the mysterious lady on the phone. "Why you crack sniffing, ass licking, cock sucking slob; when I find you I'm going to dig the Christmas lights out of my attic and use them to light your cunt on fire! You hear me, bitch!? I'm going to make you pick which members of your family I kill first!"

On the phone the prank caller wittily retorts, "Fuck you, fatso; you couldn't fight anything that isn't deep fried."

At that, Heavy freaks out, screaming and throwing her phone across the room and actually taking a big bite out of the ammo crate she's sitting on.

When she finally calms down, Heavy spits out a mouthful of nails and wood before glaring at the camera. "This interview is over; you edit all that shit out, you hear me?"

The Heavy then picks up her gun, "If you'll excuse me, Ms. Redwina Mann is paying me to kill people and it's been almost half an hour since I murdered anyone."

Cut to a sterile concrete room with a timer counting down. Over the loudspeakers, a baritone Tony Jay style voice informs the female mercenaries. "Battle Commences in thirty seconds. Try not to die too quickly, ladies; we need to get as much value from you as we can."

As the gender-bent administrator counts down, the Heavy lifts her gun and starts spinning the barrels to get it ready for firing. When the gate lifts, she's the first to charge into battle; screaming as loud as she can and unleashing hell.

Femme Fortress 2

After the battle at 2Fort, a blood splattered heavy is approached by a young, white Detroit girl with pigtails. "Hey Heavy, that prank caller get you again?"

Heavy sighs, "Yeah, Scout, that whore got me again. I swear, next time I'll get that bitch. And when I do, if you're there; I hope to god that you just start walking the other way because it's not going to be pretty."

Scout nods her head and smiles sympathetically, "Ah you'll get her; just be patient."

As Scout starts to walk away from heavy, she grins from ear to ear and congratulates herself on disguising her Detroit accent over the phone.

Well that's the first one :) Next up is scout. I really had fun doing this, short as it is. And I hope you enjoyed it too. Read, review and constructively criticise.

Enjoy :)

Ta

Master of the Boot