Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. I do not own, only playing in her world.
The sound of water slapping against the pier echoed through the boathouse. It would be a serene place, if not for the man who lie dying on the floor. Snape gasped for breath as he lay sprawled out on the floor unable to move. He had promised Dumbledore that he would reveal everything to Harry, once Voldemort showed signs of keeping Nagini close to him. Dumbledore had assured him that this sign would mean Voldemort was at his weakest and Harry must be told that, besides Nagini, the last of the Horcruxes lived in Harry and that Harry would have to die in order for Voldemort to be truly destroyed. Feeling as if he had failed, Snape was shocked to see Potter enter the boat house, followed by his two closest friends.
Snape was surprised at the look of concern on Potter's face as he knelt next to him and placed his hand over the gash in Snape's neck, attempting to stem the flow of blood. The tears he had held in so long began to stream down his face at the sight of Potter's concern. His heart ached when he remembered what he must convey to the young man before him.
Forcing the memory strand out through his tears, Snape begged Harry to take them, which Harry did by collecting them in a vial provided by Granger.
"Look at me," Snape gasped to Harry, the slash in his throat making it harder to talk now. He stared into the eyes that so reminded him of the one person he had loved with his whole being; not to mention the fact that he had also lived with the guilt that he had caused her death. "You have your mother's eyes." He whispered before the darkness enveloped him.
Snape became aware of the feeling of weightlessness as if he were floating in the air. For the first time in his life, he felt truly at peace. The darkness gave way to a bright light that transformed into sunshine. He had to blink several times to adjust his eyes to the brightness and realized in that same moment that he was standing on solid ground. He looked down at the green grass that seemed to sway around him and saw that he was standing on the grounds of Hogwarts, near the tree that he use to sit under and study; the very same tree where James had levitated him upside down and humiliated him. This was his worst memory, because it was also during this humiliation he had called Lily a Mudblood and had broke her heart, turning her against him. Strangely, the anger and heartbreak he used to feel when remembering that day never came. In truth, he felt nothing. He looked down at his clothes and realized he was wearing the same set of teaching robes that he always wore. His hands were his own grown hands, devoid of any dirt or blood that he knew must have been on them when he died. Died…that thought struck him as odd. He had thought life would just cease to exist, and yet here he was, wherever here was, thinking coherent thoughts like one would think about what coat to put on or what to eat for lunch.
He heard a slight rustle behind him and knew before he even turned around; who he would see standing there.
"Lily." Her name escaped his lips in an almost reverent tone.
He turned and gazed upon her loveliness. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She seemed to be the age that he last remembered her to be. In death, it appeared she would always remain 20 years old.
"Thank you, Severus." Lily Whispered. The light breeze was stirring about her robes and teasing her beautiful long hair.
"For what?" He asked, still in awe of how lovely she was.
"For protecting my Harry."
Snape quickly closed the gap between them, stopping within arm's length of her. He reached out with his right hand and placed the back of his hand against her face. He just had to touch her, to assure himself that she was real. Feeling her soft skin under his hand, a small sigh escaped him and he reached out to pull her into an embrace. Lily placed her hands against his chest and offered resistance, not allowing him to embrace her.
"You can't stay here, Severus. It's not your time." Her words floated around him and he fought to grasp her meaning.
"I'm dead" he stammered. "I've done more than anyone could ever ask of me; I want to stay here with you, Lily. I belong with you."
"No Severus," Lily stated sadly, "Even though your misplaced love for me resulted in you saving my son…we were never meant to be together. I chose my path in life, and you chose yours, and will do so again." Snape felt a shiver run down his spine. Not sure if he wanted to hear what she was saying anymore.
"You're being given a second chance, Severus." She stepped towards him and placed both her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look down into her eyes. The lovely eyes that gave him meaning and a reason to fight and live all these years; the same eyes he had seen before he died. He came back to his senses and realized that she was pleading with him; trying urgently to convey something important.
"You have to go back. You are still needed. There's not much time…" already Snape started feeling the familiar pang of dread in his heart. It felt as if he had a terrible ache in his chest that expanded outward and was attempting to consume his whole body. A sob escaped him and he realized that tears were falling down his face. He ignored them as he pleaded with this woman he had given his whole life to.
"Please don't make me go back…I have nothing to go back for."
"You must save her, Severus. She is risking everything to save you…you are the only one who can help her now. Only you can save her from a fate worse than death..." Lily released him and started to back away. Snape found that he could not move, his body was rooted to the ground and seemed to become heavier by the second.
"Haven't I done enough? Who is this woman I must save?"
Lily looked away as if she were listening to a voice that he could not hear.
"Yes," she nodded as if she agreed with whatever the voice had said, she looked back at him and said, "She has saved you, Severus. Go now…live your life the way it was intended. Be happy Severus; let the past stay in the past…and be good to her, Sev," She added, "She has lost so much."
Darkness seemed to be closing around him and he was powerless to stop it. He heard her voice once more, as if it was coming from a great distance away, "Tell Harry that I love him and we're all so proud of him. Tell him, Severus, for me…please tell him."
The darkness faded away and Snape could barely make out the image of someone hovering over him. He realized that he could not move and was still in the position he had been in when he died. With his eyes only half open, he could only see what was in his range of vision. Snape felt as if he were paralyzed and helpless. As more of his senses returned, he realized that the person was not hovering, per say, they were actually straddling his lap. He felt a cool breeze on his skin and realized his coat and shirt were open, leaving him sitting there bare-chested. He still could not identify who this person was, however, he was aware that they were now unbuckling his trousers and struggling to pull them down. It was incredulous to think that he was paralyzed and helpless and someone was trying to undress him. He was amazed at how sharp his mind seemed and that he could reason with himself so calmly while this was going on. Next, he felt the cool air breeze through his underwear and wondered why someone was doing this to him. He felt so helpless and at the mercy of this person who was trying to strip the last shred of his dignity, even as they must have known he was dead.
He heard a small gasp and then a curse that sounded like…Granger. Oh No…Please, not Granger. Shock and anger seemed to be welling up inside him. What the hell was she doing removing his clothes? Was this some sick payback for his years of teasing and tormenting her? When he thought of all the cruel things that he had said to her over the years, he realized that he probably deserved what she was doing; whatever it was she was attempting to do. He felt her pull down his underwear freeing his cock. The cool air contrasted with the warmth of her hand as she placed her hand on it and moved it to the side. He was horrified to think that little witch was touching his private area.
A terrible thought crossed his mind; Granger was preparing to sexually assault his comatose body. He heard some rustling and thought she must be removing her pants in order to continue her sexual advance on him. He fluctuated between wondering what it would feel like to have her ride his stiff cock, which was starting to harden and fury for her thinking she had the right to use his body as she saw fit. He'd never kissed a girl let alone had sex with one. Oh God, could he get her pregnant? Several terrible scenarios whirled through his mind at lightning speed when he suddenly he felt a sharp stinging pain near his groin. It took him a second to realize that it was in the exact locations that Nagini had so kindly bitten him. As a matter of fact, all of the bites seemed to be stinging. It suddenly occurred to him that she was not trying to rape him, she was treating his wounds. For a brief second he didn't know whether to be glad or disappointed. From the burning sensations that were now almost too painful to bear, he realized that she must have put something on all of the snake bites as well as the slash across his throat. What had she put on the snake bites that seemed to be burning him alive? There was only one cure for snake bites, phoenix tears and surely Granger did not possess any of that.
Granger held a small vial between her teeth and pulled his underwear back over his bulging penis. Had she not realized his cock had hardened due to her touch? Did she think that was supposed to happen in death? He felt her struggling to pull up his trousers and refasten them. Once that was done, she murmured a spell that mended his coat back together so he was completely clothed again. She was whispering something, while pointing her wand at his throat and he could feel the wound mending itself. He could just barely make out her face while, still straddling his lap, as she seemed to be concentrating on the vial, as if trying to decide what to do. Having made her decision, she tipped the remaining liquid, from the vial, in his open mouth onto his tongue. At first there seemed to be no immediate reaction and then he could taste the sweetness on his tongue.
Granger started to get up and then settled back down in mid-thought. She seemed lost in thought, muttering the words, "kiss of an innocent," over and over as if trying to decipher what that meant. Snape could have told her it meant the kiss of a virgin, but why was she muttering that over and over? She closed her eyes as if concentrating and then opened them suddenly as the meaning had become clear to her. She stared at his mouth, while struggling with her decision. Yet another small curse and she was scooting closer to him spreading her legs wider to accommodate his wide hips, all while moving closer to his face. He wanted to yell at her to stop this, whatever, it was she was attempting to do. He still could not move or even open his eyes wider. Forced to watch her through his half open eyes, she blurred in his vision as she placed her lips on his and started to kiss him, gently sucking on his lips as she did so. He felt her hot, wet tongue slide into his mouth and sweep across his tongue. Instantly, he felt a burning in his groin and thought for sure Granger had felt his stiff cock pressing against the spot between her legs, where she was still straddling his waist. She placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself; and he knew she was aware of his stiffness because she began grinding her hips against him, kissing him with abandon and she issued a small groan into his mouth. Somewhere inside him, he felt himself groan, angry at himself and her for eliciting these feelings in him. Never having been with a woman, he briefly wondered what it would be like to have her ride his cock and moan in pleasure. He was sure she was thinking the same thing as she slid up a little further into his lap and pressed herself harder against the hardness in his pants. Merlin help him, she was grinding harder on the bulge in his pants and he ached with the desire to feel the release that only ejaculation can bring... just a little longer…he was so close to exploding in his pants.
With a startled cry, she seemed to come to her senses and realize what she was doing. She pulled away from him with a look of horror and immediately rolled off him and jumped to her feet. She was out of his line of vision, so he could only lie there helplessly as she seemed to gather up her things and he could hear her footsteps retreating from the boathouse in haste. He thought he heard Weasley's voice, but then nothing. She had fled from the boathouse and left him all alone. He wished he could have cried out to her, to anyone, not to leave him here alone. He didn't like lying here helpless and unable to defend himself, his cock still aching for release. He thought about what had just transpired and became angrier as time progressed. It appeared that Granger had used something to bring him back from the dead, to save him. She must be the woman that Lily was talking about. Lily…his heart still hurt thinking of her lovely face. He'd still be there with Lily in that wonderful calming place if that Damn Granger hadn't interfered. Anger and what seemed akin to hatred seeped through him as he thought of what Granger had just robbed him of…the chance to live in peace with his Lily.
What was it Lily had told him? She's risking everything to save you."
Of all the people in the world, he had to be saved by Miss Know-it-all Hermione Granger. He slowly slipped into unconsciousness as Lily's words floated through his mind, "You must save her, Severus. She is risking everything to save you…you are the only one who can help her now."
He silently cursed the darkness and Hermione Granger as the vision of Lily's lovely face flashed before him again. The darkness of unconsciousness claimed him.
Snape became aware of noises around him. It was the hushed sounds of a hospital, he was sure of it. He lay there with his eyes closed, listening to all the sounds around him. Someone was pushing a cart past his room; he could hear the wheels squeak in a pattern. He could also make out the sounds of people whispering. He was sure they were somewhere outside his room, in the hallway perhaps. He couldn't remember why he was here. It wasn't that often that he was sick and he couldn't recall the last time he was in a hospital. He was going back through the last thing he could remember when it hit him like a ton of bricks. He was sure he felt his body convulse, however, no one came running into the room so they must not have noticed. He had seen Lily. He had been with her, almost held her in his arms. He was remembering how lovely she was and how pleasant her voice was when the words she was speaking came back to him.
"We were never meant to be together." Those words stung his heart like a knife. There was no malice in her words. She spoke them with something akin to pity. Like he had been too stupid to realize, what was it she had said? "I chose my path in life, and you chose yours."
He lay in his hospital bed and wept bitter tears for what seemed like hours. He had given his whole life to loving Lily and what he thought they had, or should have had. He realized now that he had hung onto her memory as if that would be enough to bring her back. Even in death, she was out of his reach.
His tears subsided and bitterness seemed to fill his heart. It had all been for nothing. What a fool he had been to think that he would be allowed to find peace in death. No, he had been denied his precious Lily even in death. Hermione Granger had seen to that.
Someone entered the room and started adjusting the blankets around him. He wished silently that they would just go away and leave him to his own misery. They seemed to notice his tears and gasped. Whoever it was ran from the room and everything was quiet for a moment. Then, he heard several voices getting closer as it seemed they were racing to his room. A familiar voice asked him how he was feeling, as they pressed their hand upon his forehead. He had hoped that if he ignored them, they would go away. He realized that it was no use. They were all still gathered around his bed, in a silent hush.
Slowly he opened his eyes and allowed them to get accustomed to the room. The light in the room was very dim; however, it still took a moment for his eyes to adjust. Ginny, yes he saw it was Ginny Weasley dressed in a nurse's uniform was smoothing his black hair off his forehead, trying to feel his temperature with the back of her hand. She somehow looked a little older than he remembered. He looked around the room at the sparse furnishings and his eyes rested on Arthur Weasley, who just happened to be looking at him with great concern while wringing his hands. Someone on the other side of the bed reached out and clasped his limp hand. He turned his head and looked into the face of Harry Potter.
"Welcome back, Professor." Harry said in a sickeningly, cheery voice.
"You've been out for a while, Severus. How do you feel?" Mr. Weasley was asking.
Severus just stared straight ahead. He was not in the mood for small talk. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? Why couldn't he have stayed? If Lily really cared for him, she would have found a way for him to stay. That thought made his breath catch in his throat and he began to cough. Ginny pressed a glass of water to his lips and ordered him to drink. Severus realized he was parched and drank the whole cup.
"Thank you." He said begrudgingly, his voice sound hoarse.
"Wonderful!" Mr. Weasley shouted, causing everyone to flinch.
"You can speak. That's wonderful. Now, tell me dear boy, can you move your legs?"
"That may be too much for one day, Mr. Weasley." Potter commented. "He's awake and he's speaking. That's a miracle in itself. I'm going to run tell the Minister." Harry squeezed Snape's arm, eliciting a sneer, which Harry believed to be a good sign and raced out of the room.
"I'm going to alert the Headmaster, she'll want to know immediately."
Snape heard Ginny depart and closed his eyes wishing he were still unconscious. Suddenly, something occurred to Snape and he felt a moment of panic. Arthur and Potter had spoken like they feared he would be paralyzed. Slowly he moved one leg at a time and was pleased that they obeyed his command. Then he lifted and lowered each arm, just to make sure he could." Mr. Weasley clapped his hands in joy and proclaimed, "This is wonderful! We must tell everyone, immediately!" Snape sighed with relief. To think, they feared he would be paralyzed. If that witch Granger had of saved him only for him to spend the rest of his life immobilized….his breath caught in his throat again. If Granger hadn't saved him, he would still be there with Lily right now, holding her in his arms. Anger seeped into his very soul until he was sure it was seeping out of his pores.
Reaching out, he grabbed Arthur by the collar and pulled him to within inches of his face. Snape saw a look of fear run across Arthur's face then the look quickly turned to confusion when Snape said, "Where is that little Bitch…Hermione Granger?"