PROLOGE

Most of us go through many trials. Some of us cry, some try to laugh It off, others try their best to act like everything's normal. Nevertheless, even though we do these things, trying to cope with the pain we are in, it never really helps. We cope with many things… but does crying, laughing, all those things we do really get rid of our problem? Really, I don't think it does. So what exactly is it that we should do? I ask myself that question everyday. Does anyone really know the answer to that? I don't think it's possible. People say they do, but do they really? I can't answer these questions. However, I CAN tell you that we all need to listen. Maybe you can help someone else, you never know. This story is about a girl whose life never really had anything to cope with until her parents decided to get a divorce. This story is about me.

CHAPTER ONE

I opened my eyes and looked out the window that was on my right. I could see down ten stories. I watched as the cars zoomed by. Many were going excessively fast. I loved watching the traffic. Especially when it was rush hour. Right now, it was seven and everyone was trying to get to work as quickly as possible. To me this was calming. Compared to my life, because my parents just got divorced, it seemed peaceful.

"Elizabeth! Its time for you to wake up..." mom called from the kitchen.

"I'm gettin' up!" I said back. Slowly I pulled the covers off my body. I was wearing my pajama pants and a tank top. I stood up and stretched, touching my toes, reaching for the sky, and did a couple jumping jacks to get my heart pumping. I went to look in my closet to see what to wear. I was feeling like green today. So I put on my Kelly green tee and my knee length kaki skirt. I looked in the mirror, immediately seeing the black rings around my eyes. The last few weeks have been hard on me. My parents have been going to court for the last half a year trying to figure out who gets what. These last few weeks were over who got custody of me. Lucky for me my mom won that battle. Even though I still had to visit my dad for Christmas break. The WHOLE vacation to! My dad and I… we used to be close, but he really messed up. I don't think that he really loved my brother and me at all! My brother Mark is ten. And he is staying with my mom. I've taken him with me, whenever mom and dad would have a fight, and go get him ice cream or go see a movie or something. We've gotten close spending time with each other. I turned my radio on and started to remember…

'I woke up one day hearing my mom and dad fighting. This had been happening a lot recently. I remember Mark coming in and getting in bed with me. So I really didn't have time to listen to what was going on. Really, I was just trying to distract Mark. I remember that I asked him how long they had been fighting and how long he had been up. He told me they had been fighting since three that morning. And that he had heard most of it. Well that was when I decided that my brother shouldn't have to know what was going on. It wasn't his problem. So I got up and got dressed. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"You mean where are WE going? We are going to get you a new game boy!" I told him with fake enthusiasm.

"With what money?" he practically shrieked.

"It's no biggy, I'll get some from somewhere." I told him. I was planning to steal some from dad's wallet. I'd replace it… someday. "Stay here real quick, okay?" I told him sternly. Then I turned my radio on so he couldn't hear what they where saying.'

I was jarred from my memory as Mark came in my room and sat on my bed. "What do you need Mark?" I asked a little moody from my memories.

"Just going to tell you good morning, I guess." He said deflated a little.

"Sorry Mark. I'm just not feeling good today, you know girl problems." I lied. I didn't want him to know that I was hurting. He already thought that it was his fault that they separated. "Hey it's your song on, you want to sing it?"

"No, I'm not in the mood to sing. I think I'm going to help mom make breakfast."

"Okay, I'm sure she'll be glad to have the help." I gave him a small smile. I felt bad that my ten-year-old brother had to deal with this. He was carry to much on his shoulders. I wished that I could help him. Well I had to go to work. I was saving for a car. I was seventeen and needed one desperately! I looked in the mirror again. Ehh it was better. I still looked stressed but whatever, there weren't any black circles anymore! Thank you God for make-up!

In the summer, I have a job at the local café down the street. Normally I take Mark with me and he plays game boy, but today was Saturday and mom was home. If he wanted to come down he would have mom drive him. On my walk there I saw many people I knew from school. I tried my best to avoid many of them but some wouldn't be deterred.

"Hey why don't you talk to me anymore? You never return my calls anymore!" it was my best friend Emma. I couldn't tell her what was going on!

"I'm sorry I just have a lot going on right now." I said lamely.

"Don't give me that Lizzy! I understand that what you're going through is tough, but you can't just dump your friends! If anything you need them more right now." She pushed. I knew what she was saying was right but..

"I got to get to work or I'll be late." I said as I ducked through the door and jogged to the backroom. 'Pheew I'm safe! She never gives up! Well I should know that she's MY best friend. Or at least she is to me, but what am I being to her? She probably thinks I'm a jerk!' I was thinking all this while I punched my time card in its slot. I whipped my apron on and got my order book, put a bottle of aspirin in my pocket, for those occasional costumers with a headache. I figured out if I listened and helped my customer I got a bigger tip! That was my goal! "Hi my names Lizzy I'll be your server today. Can I get you something to drink?"

My day went by fast until I saw Michael walk in and I lost my breath. Why did he have to come here all the time? We dated for about a year when he broke my heart, and now he brings all his new girlfriends here to get on my nerves! 'What a jerk!' I thought. 'And of course he has to sit at one of MY tables' "Hi my names Lizzy I'll be your server today. Can I get you something to drink?" I said to her.

"Oh! Umm I'll have a sweet tea with lemon." Good choice.

"What about you sir? I asked him as polite as I would anyone else. He saw the greeting smile on my face and answered sourly..

"Mountain Dew." Well poop on you, you jerk!

"I'll be right back with that." I said sweetly to his girlfriend. Did I just hear her say that she liked me? 'Amazing, maybe one day we could be friends!' I thought. I went and got her a cool glass of iced tea. Condensation started to form on it. And then I got his Mountain Dew, and also considered spitting a loogey in it, but decided not to. I brought it back to them and said, "Did you decide on your order or do you need more time?" I smiled.

"We'll be just one more moment, I think." She said. "Oh by the way my name's Jessica." I smiled warmly at her and went to greet a group of teenage boys, who didn't look like they belong in New York, and seat them.

"Right this way." I said to the one standing in the front. I lead them to a booth towards the back, so they wouldn't disturb the older customers. " Hi I'll be your sever this afternoon. My names Lizzy. Can I get drinks for you? I asked politely. They all picked mostly the same thing. Trying to make it easier for me. I carried the seven boys their drinks and gave them all a smile and asked, "Have you figured out what you're going to order or do you need a few minutes?"

"No we're only getting drinks. Its pretty hot outside." The closest one smiled at me. He had black hair done in a faux hawk. With sunglasses on his head. He had a nice tan and his eyes were blue. But they weren't just blue they were like ice blue. He was actually pretty attractive, but of course I couldn't think of that! All I could think about was how much of a jerk Michael was! And how bad my life sucked. I didn't even care what this person was going through.

"Yea it gets pretty hot here in the summer." I said lamely. All the other boys were blonde and had nice tans also but none were as cute as he was. 'I wish that I had a tan' I thought…

I got home around five-thirty and changed to faded jeans. Ran back down all ten stories of stairs. Mark had a little league game and I was already late! He would be so disappointed if I couldn't see him bat! He was actually really good to! By the time I got to the tacky little lobby with black and white checkered linoleum, it was already six o' clock. 'Crap' I thought. The person working the desk was wearing a tacky red outfit and needed to brush his teeth badly! "Did my mom leave any messages for me?" I asked trying not to breath in his bad breath.

" Yes, she said… that she will see you at Memorial Park baseball field and she has something to tell you." He said with his heavy Jersey accent.

" Thanks! Here's some gum uhh… Rick." I smiled my toothpaste ad smile at him. Maybe I got something across to him. I ran out the spiny door and rushed to the tiny little bus stop. I reached in my jean pocket, searching for the forty-five cents I needed to get on the bus. I felt a piece of paper and took it out. ' Uhh.' I thought. 'The letter from dad. I don't think I ever read it….' I slowly opened the paper up and started to read..

Dear Lizzy,

Hi… it's your father… I know that you have gone through a lot this year. I know that we've put you kids through a lot…. I feel bad. I want you to know that its not that I don't love your mother anymore… it's just.. Hard to explain. I know that you don't understand and I hope you never do. I want you to know that what happened with your mom and I am not yours OR Marks fault. I love you both so much. I want hope you know that what happed was for the best…. I love you….

Dad,

XOXOXO

I looked up and there was the bus. Waiting for me to climb on. I dug my change out of my pocket and climbed on with tears in my eyes. Maybe dad did love me just…. No he abandoned mom and me for three whole weeks! He could have been cheating for all we know! I sat towards the back, seeing those boys from the café again. They drove by the bus in one of their cars. I couldn't see who was driving though. I wiped my eyes and suddenly remembered what I was going to do. I looked at my watch. Good it hadn't started yet. It would be by the time I got there though. I laid my head back and closed my eyes and thought…

' "Dad can I have an ice cream please? Please, please, PLEASE!" I was five and up on my dad's shoulders walking around New York City exploring.

"Okay, Okay." He caved to my greenish brown puppy dog eyes. My chestnut hair was in pigtails and was falling into my eyes. "What flavor? Let me guess… hhmmm I'm thinking orange twist.. Did I guess right?" he laughed. His laugh used to be so warm and just made you feel like everything was okay and would be forever. That changed though, a couple more years and his laugh would start to get strained and nervous and then a few more years he would stop laughing all together.

"Yes that's my FAAVVORRIITTEE!" I giggled.' I felt my heart start to ache at the memory. A single tear slid down my cheek and stopped at my chin. ' "Daddy, I love you!" I said so whole hearted you could tell I spoke the truth.' Another tear and another slid down my face.

' "I love you too pumpkin." He said. That was his nickname for me. I used to tell him, like right now,

"I'm not orange OR fat dad! DUH!" I giggled.

"Well your ganna be if you keep eating orange twists everyday!" he teased." 'Oh god.' I broke down and started to cry. ' Wait what is crying going to help? Nothing! So stop it you retard! Stop! But I can't help it.. Maybe I need to cry. NO you don't need to cry crazy! You're in public, suck it up!' I internally argued with myself.