Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies, and make no money from writing this story. Harry Potter and all of its characters belong to and are the property of author J. K. Rowling, Scholastic Inc. and Arthur A. Levine Books, Bloomsbury Books, and Warner Brothers, Inc. No copyright infringement is intended.
Title: Life Again
Author: Dangerous Crimes
Pairings: Severus/Harry/Draco
Published: 2-5-2010
Life Again
I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
It was the final hour and he was not ready. Nothing could prepare a person, much less him, for what was to come. No amount of training, mock battles, petty arguments or anything really. It felt like it was coming too soon. All the time flying by him without a single moment to ponder or recognize it. It was time wasted hunting for all the dark artifacts, horcruxes, and evading death eaters at every turn.
He was exhausted. It wasn't the type of exhaustion that made you want to take a short nap to gain a semblance of control. No, this exhaustion was the type the made a man feel need to just give in, give up, despite all of what went unaccomplished, all the good in life. He so desperately wanted to give in and let others take care of the upcoming problem, but the need to see justice for all of the wrongful, needless killings held him back.
The faces of the ones he cared for flashed through his mind as he gazed at the rising sun from the Astronomy Tower. Hermione's serious face, the one she wore when giving Ron a lecture, her eyes flashing in annoyance and a rare fondness reserved for 'her boys'. The sound of her laugh when Ron would muck the simplest things up. Ron, his best mate, with his trigger happy anger and hard to come by pride in what he believes in. They way he flustered when the twins would tease him mercilessly.
They all flashed before him. Neville, Luna, Dean, Sean, Remus, Tonks, Ginny, Fred, George. Everyone. He would fight this battle for them, for his diseased parents and Sirius. Green eyes flashed with the conviction set in stone in his soul. Harry Potter wasn't sure if he would make out of this battle or not. He figured he would most likely not live to see the next sunrise. Thinking this he continued to watch the array of colors that splashed across the sky.
Suddenly the realization of what was to come hit him hard, struck his soul like hot metal to skin. He was only sixteen, too young to die. Distantly he realized that mentally he was far to old, but that didn't matter. He had spent the better part of his life fighting to stay alive. And now he may never get the chance as his last moments might very well involve fighting.
Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me
Yeah
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
Harry grabbed the material of his robe above his heart with a choked sob. Desperately he grabbed onto the stone wall, in hopes of keeping up right. I don't want to die. I know I might have to but I never go to LIVE. Yes I survived but never lived.
The tears tears that he had tried to hold back, fell down his cheeks with no signs of stopping. He closed his eyes tightly, fighting with his emotions. It was all useless though as the rising panic, desperation and depression threatened to drown him.
So lost in his turmoil, was he, that he never heard the quiet squeaking of the tower door opening, nor the footsteps coming up behind him. Eyes watched the Wizarding Her break down before their very eyes. How they wanted to take the small body in their arms, shield him from the worlds cruelty, the expectations and most of all from himself. So they did the only thing they could do.
Harry jumped when he felt the arms wrap around his small waist. He would have fought had he not been so desperate for human touch, comfort. The tears came faster down his face as hands ran through his shoulder length black hair. He didn't pay attention to the whispered nonsense poured into his ears, he only focused on the comfort and small gestures coming from those who held him. Harry felt that he should recognize the two voices but he couldn't find himself to care. So he did the only thing that he felt was needed at the moment. He let himself go.
Lock the doors
Cause I'd like to capture this voice
That came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war
We live like this
Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
It was close to being sunset and once again the sky was an array of colors. Harry had felt the world melt away when he finally let himself sob himself into exhaustion. Not once did the arms release their holds, instead they had only tightened as if telling him that they would stand tall for him should he fall. Eventually when Harry had been reduces to hiccups, they had fallen to the ground where they stood. Never once did they talk. He didn't even turn to see who his pillars were. Even if he had, it would not change his opinion of the men that held him. Yes men, Harry had realized that his hero's were men when he had felt the lack of lumps against his sides, that and their voices had a deeper quality than a woman's.
The moment was ruined however, when he got a painful jolt in his scar. His hand flung up as if the press the pain away. The two holders came to this realization as well. They slowly unwound their arms from him, lingering, silently telling him that what they really wanted was to be with him. A kiss was pressed to each of his cheeks and they silently left him.
One stray tear fell from his eye as they left him. He understood why they left before him and he understood. If he had seen there faces then he would only be distracted in the battle. Harry stood up and glanced up at the darkening sky.
Harry just wanted to break down, scream and destroy at the injustice of it all. Finally when he had found something that he desperately wanted he couldn't pursue it. The war was getting in the way of everything, taking everything. When he had spent the day in those arms he had found what he wanted from the start. Belonging, warmth, acceptance, a balance. Love. Within that short time he fell in love with those arms and the ones attached, even if he had not seen their faces. Ir wasn't fair.
Tower over me
Tower over me
...and I'll take the truth at any cost.
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
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