Donna stared at the empty box in her hands. She conveyed it, looking for any remainder of the confection she had just devoured. The confection that she had devoured all too quickly.
"Liked the chocolates then?" asked The Doctor as he walked around the controls of the TARDIS. Donna looked up.
"Yeah, they were great. Thanks."
"Well, after all it is your birthday and I thought you'd like a present that's a bit more… domestic than, say, whisking you off to the planet of the Giant Pink Butterflies. Although, that option's still open if you didn't think the chocs were enough!"
Donna smiled as she imagined what a planet of Giant Pink Butterflies could possibly look like.
"Mind you," The Doctor began. "You seemed to get rid of them pretty quickly. But of a chocoholic?" She looked sheepishly at him.
"More than a bit, actually." She said. "I love the stuff. I could eat it and eat it and eat it. Mind you, Mum thinks its weird, she even applied for me to go on that You Are What You Eat programme but the interview panel thought my chocolate-love was too extreme even for that Gillian Whatshername." The Doctor smiled at her.
"Tell you what then, as an extra birthday treat I'm gonna take you somewhere you'll love!" Even before he'd finished his sentence The Doctor had started to manically hop around the control panel. He was pressing buttons, pulling levers, twisting dials, kicking hypothermic temporalisers and eventually, when he'd stopped setting the co-ordinates, he stepped back and grinned.
"Go on, where are you taking me?"
"Wait and see!" He winked at her.
As soon as the TARDIS signalled it had landed, The Doctor grabbed his coat and ran to the door.
"Ready?" he asked. Donna walked over, picking up her jacket.
"Doctor, you've taken me to Ice Planets, Disintegrating moons, erupting volcanoes and to the corner shop for a bottle of water. There's not much I'm not ready for."
The Doctor opened the door for her and she stepped out.
She cried out.
They had landed in a world which seemed rather Earth-like. There were trees, grass, rivers and even mini-roads. The only difference being the fact that all the features were brown. This, however, hadn't been the reason Donna had cried out.
As The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS he found himself looking down at Donna, who was knee-deep in a big, brown puddle.
"DOCTOR!" she yelled. "Get me out of here right now!" He immediately offered her a hand to help her up.
"Guess you weren't ready for that then!"
"Some birthday treat. I was expecting the planet of the Giant Pink Butterflies, not planet of the bloomin' mud holes!"
As she pulled her feet out of the puddle she checked to see what damage had been done. Unfortunately, the boots seemed more or less ruined.
"These were Gucci! Do you know how much I paid for them? Well I'll tell you what, sunshine, that's two hundred and eighty quid coming out of your pocket!" The Doctor couldn't help but grin. "What are you so happy about?"
"Your boots," he said. "Try licking them". Donna looked at him, revolted.
"You must be joking! Aint no way I'm licking alien mud off of my boots! But go on, you be my guest." The Doctor shrugged and gestures for her to remove one of her boots. She did so and handed one over to him and without so much as a hesitation, he licked some of the brown liquid clean off.
Donna stared at him, disgusted.
"Yum!"
"Oh. My. God." she said. "I am actually going to be sick."
The Doctor laughed.
"Relax! It's not really mud, it's chocolate!"
"You what?"
"It's chocolate!" he repeated. "Go on try it!" She bent down and scooped some of the liquid from the puddle she had fallen in into her hands.
"I'm warning you, if this is anything BUT chocolate then you're dead." She cautiously drank it and paused, trying to analyse the flavour.
"Oh, that's gorgeous!" she said, moments later. She instantly bent down for more.
"Told you!" said The Doctor. "The planet Crudbary, created completely from creamy chocolate, providing a cascade of calorie-heavy confection for chocolate-craving creatures like you."
She looked up at him, her chin completely covered in chocolate.
"Thank you for bringing me here! I'm in heaven!"
"No worries!" said The Doctor. "And I wouldn't worry too much about those boots either. Chocolate covered Gucci is all the rage in 2020."
The Doctor looked on bemused as Donna went around the nearby area eating the grass, licking the trees and practically draining a small pond.
He bent down to the puddle and had a bit more of the chocolate. To his dismay he spilt some on to his shirt. He tutted and called over to Donna;
"I've got a bit of chocolate on my shirt, I'm going to change it. Meet me back in the TARDIS when you're done". He couldn't resist one more swig of the chocolate before re-entering the TARDIS.
A few hous later...
Donna slowly made her way back to the TARDIS, whose brilliant blue colour stood out against the dull brown of its surroundings.
She felt sluggish,
Very sluggish.
"I hope I never have to see another but of chocolate in my life." she said to herself. She re-entered the TARDIS, still muttering to herself. "Forget You Are What You Eat, I think the local Weight-Watchers is more suited for me."
She looked up and saw The Doctor-new shirt and all-standing at the console holding what appeared to be a birthday cake, complete with candles and icing.
"Happy Birthday! Again! Made it myself, not bad, eh?" She looked at the cake and, to The Doctor's credit, it was pretty big. "I even made it a chocolate one."
She groaned at the prospect of having to eat more chocolate. The Doctor chuckled as he realised how off-chocolate she now seemed to have become.
"You know sometimes over-indulgence can be the best form of therapy" he said.
"Tell me about it".
"You don't have to eat it if you don't want to, but at least blow out the candles. They can be big fire hazards."
There were certainly a lot of candles for her to blow out. Too many for her liking.
"Doctor, exactly how many candles did you actually put on this cake?"
"Oh, well I didn't know your age so I guessed and put 40."
…
"HOW MANY?!"
THE END