Song : Hurt – Christina Aguilera
Prompt : their first winter make Yona remember of her regret towards her father and Hak trying to comfort her when the first time she told him
Disclaimer : I do not own the Song or Lyrics, only use the Lyrics as terms and the Song Lyrics belong to Singer
Yun could tell something wrong with her since she was looking gloomy over about something. When Yona took a bath with Zeno watching him, Yun gathered the beast and the other Dragons.
"Yona looks feeling down but knowing her, she only smiled and said everything was alright… so I make her favourite chicken soup for the breakfast".
"thank you, mother" said Hak and the other Dragons in unison.
Yun shouted "don't call me mother?!".
"well, if something upset her…", Jae Ha rolled his eyes to the corner and narrowed his eyes to the Thunder Beast "did you two take a fight?".
"of course not, and what make you think like that?".
"well, since the princess can become so easily upset or gloomy over about something related with you…".
"don't talk as if I'm always make her gloomy, White Snake".
"now, now, then what else? you can't blaming Kija because remember when Yona Dear thought you has had a fiancé? she become so gloomy over about it, same as you when you thought she didn't need you anymore. Both of you presence's stir up both of your heart each other without you know it", after pointing his forefinger to Hak's side, suddenly Jae Ha covered his mouth and his body shook "ah, sorry… if I remember how you confessed your feeling that way…".
When Hak locked Jae Ha's head on his arm, Yun scratched his jaw "hm… fine, if not because of the romance, then what?".
"I think it was something that only Misters could asking about to Miss…".
All of them surprised when Zeno appeared behind them. After Hak asked him where Yona was, Zeno told them that Yona was practicing her bow.
"Zeno can tell, the Miss looks feeling down and when Zeno asked her, the Miss only smiling and told Zeno everything was fine, she only have a nightmare last night".
Everyone turned into silence before Yun broke the silence "…Raijuu, switch the place with me tonight, I'll sleep with this Four Rare Beast and you sleep with Yona".
"eeeh?!".
"obviously, for comfort the princess…", Kija nodded and clenched his claw "but, don't blame us if we rushed to your tent if we heard the princess screaming because you attack her".
Shina tilted his head, not too understand what Kija means "…attack? Like what?".
Irritated on Shina's confusion and Kija's warning, Hak stepped on Jae Ha's back because of the Green Dragon laughing and smacking the ground before Hak yelled back "I won't attack her?!".
Jae Ha wiped his tears and swirling his bangs "but of course, if Hak didn't want to sleep by her side and comfort her, I'll gladly…".
Hak and Kija threw their death glance while prepared their Tsu Quan Dao and Dragon Claw to Jae Ha, said in unison "you can't?!".
"can't about what?".
This time they (except Shina and Zeno who had realized from the first place) surprised when red-haired princess arrived at the campsite. She sat beside Hak after she took her breakfast, a bowl of chicken soup from Yun "wow?! chicken soup?!".
Hak asked her after take his bowl of Yun's hand, whispered "are you alright? Yun and Zeno said you have a nightmare".
Yona stopped her hand in the middle of her track to lifted the spoon to her mouth "then… can you sleep with me tonight, Hak?".
Yona's statement make Kija, Jae Ha and Hak choked the mouthful of chicken soup inside their mouth. After Hak drank fresh water Yun offered, when Zeno and Shina offered fresh water to Jae Ha and Kija, Hak touched her forehead with his palms.
"…you didn't have a fever".
"yes, I am!?".
Not long after that, Shina lifted his face "ah, the snow".
Even if it only for a second, Hak caught a glimpse of loneliness, longing and pain inside Yona's eyes. Hak knew, only one thing that make her expression become like that and he would ask her before sleep.
Inside the tent, before Yona covered her body with her blankets, Hak hugged her from behind before he settled her on his lap.
Yona blushed on Hak's suddenly affection like always "…Hak?".
"so... is it King Il?".
Yona nodded with the teary eyes. The first snow of the first winter outside the castle make her dreamt about her past, when her father make the awful chicken soup that couldn't compared to Yun's delicious chicken soup.
"I'm not have a nightmare, it was such a beautiful dream … so beautiful, that make me wanted to cry because I realized, the pain when I woke up, become more hurt…".
Yona told him, it was occurred to her dream, when she saw her father crying at her 16th birthday party and told her about how happy her father, how her father crying and told her how beautiful her as a woman at her birthday as she'd turned became a woman on marriageable age at her 16th birthday but all she thought back then only her messy hair. She remembered how disobedient her as a child, decided to kept pursuing Soo Won even if her father had forbid her like he always say 'no' to her relationship with Soo Won as a lovers. If only she knew that day…
If only she knew, that day was her father's last day...
She wanted to take her father's pain away as she hold him on her arms but in the end, all she'd felt only her father's lifeless body which got colder and colder. That night when she must left her home where she'd born and grown, left her father behind and lost everything on one night, while hugging her, Hak gave her a reason for stay alive. For the sake of her father's, as 'thank you' for all her father's gave to her since she was born, she must stay alive and she could go everywhere to gave back her father's love.
Since that night, all she did only grieveing over her father's death and Soo Won's betrayal. She'd thought that she won't forgive Soo Won but she surprised because she couldn't raise a sword to him at Awa. She thought once more time, she might haven't forgave Soo Won for what he did to her father, nothing he could do to make her forgave him like nothing she could do for her father anymore. She forgave her father's mistake that might have the major reason of Soo Won's action towards him that night but nothing she could do to her father that make her could heard his voice calling her name again. Sometimes, she wanna called him, she did on her dreams or when she'd felt as if his voice ringing on her head to not touch weapon. But she knew, it was only the part of her daydreaming and he won't be there.
There's once time when she training in the midnight, Hak approached her from behind to hugged her till her sobbings subsided because of remembering of her father's forbidden rule. How could she blaming her father for everything she couldn't do since back then, because her father forbade her to learn or touch weapon at the castle, like how she became weak and couldn't use weapon to protect Hak even herself when Hak nearly fell to the cliff? She calmed herself as she felt his hug, his warmth. With heard his heartbeat, her tears subsided at that time after she sobered to reality, her bodyguard, the man she loved now still there, he hadn't left her behind like her father.
What she said to Lily about what she thinking after her father's death, about what she only could grieving wasn't a lie. There's a time when she felt break inside because of remembering of her father's death like that night when Hak hugged her and she regretted of her father's several last day moreover if she remembered, what she'd done only pick a fight with her father or walked away as her father wanted to bringing up about marriage and forbade her relationship with Soo Won. She hid her sorrow in front of everyone, but only a look, even if only a second, Hak would realize it. Sometimes she just wanted to hide it from Hak too, because the one she missed was his father but her bodyguard always know how to handle her. She grateful to him because if he knew the reason was her father that she missed her father and she cried sometimes because of it, Hak didn't say anything, he only stay by her side and gave his support on silence, he let her know that she didn't left behind alone. Still, it was hard to say goodbye to her father.
When it comes to her father, she didn't talk that much to others and she barely ever talking about her father since her father's death in front of the others so openly except in front of Lily and Hak. Her heart felt like slashed and crushed when insults or bad things came out of her people about how her father did as a King. Her people's word cut straight on her heart like when she came to the poor village on the Fire Tribe territory. At that time, she grateful because at least, she knew Hak still put his loyalty to her father even if her father had failed to protect his Kingdoms. And one more time, she felt like hit by that word, that word came out of Yun and Soo Won that she didn't know anything.
It occurred to her several time since then. If she wasn't so ignorant and selfish. If she cared about her kingdom and her people from the first place. If she helped her father protect their Kingdom with Soo Won and Hak by her side.
Would her father let her help him?
Would her father tell her that she was wrong and help her to understand?
Would her father or Soo Won looking down or underestimate her like Kan Soo Jin's insults that she only a little girl?
Would she still lost everything at that night?
Everything except Hak.
Just 'if' back then, but…
Maybe there's nothing she could do as a little girl, a naïve sheltered princess who know nothing about outside world, she knew maybe that thing will occurred to others. Just like she wouldn't do anything with her father to looking her father back to her side, because she knew nothing could she did with her father's death and got her father back to life, except protecting what her father had failed to protect, at least better than regretted everything and doing nothing.
She wonder, would her father proud of her for everything she'd done for her Kingdom?
"Hak …", after her daydream ended, Yona lifted her face and told him for the first time about her conversation with Soo Won that night, Hak's expression hardened after she told him and she bent her crying face down, didn't dare to looking at his gaze "…I don't believe, my father did that to uncle, because …what for he did that? and if it was true, then I should apologize to…".
Yona stopped her words as she pulled into Hak's embrace, gasped as Hak leaned down to kissed her wet eyelids before he patted her back of head.
"even if it's true, that couldn't be the reason for him to hurt you?!", Hak hugged her more tightly and furrowed his eyebrow "and after what he did to you, how could you think that you should apologize to him? he didn't deserve your mercy at all, princess… you're too kind…".
Before Yona answered him, Hak loosened his embrace and swept her tears with reassured smile on his face "like I said before, I won't serve a coward King and I believe your father isn't a bad guy… you should believe him as his daughter, princess… beside, if it wasn't you as his children who believe him, then who else?".
Yona digged her fingernails on his back before leaned her face to his shoulder and wept "forgive me, father… I won't stop my journey even if I must walk above endless bloodshed path… even if you forbid me, I will raise my weapon in order to protect your country and the people I loved".
One thing Yona learned, if she hurt someone, it means she hurt herself too. And it was hurt. It hurts because she knew it needed sometimes so she could stay alive.
After her crying subsided, Yona leaned her head to his chest, sniffed as her lips curved to warm smile "…I could imagine it clearly, if it was you I chose from the first place, maybe my father will approve and give his big 'yes'…".
Hak blushed before chuckled and pinched her cheek "what about that sudden attempt, huh?".
Yona stealed one kiss of his lips quickly, before giggled when she saw how the blush on his face deepened "about our relationship, of course".
Both of them laughing after that. Before they went to sleep, Hak asking Yona to sleep first and went outside.
Outside the tent, Hak crossed his arm, standing tall before the beast that peeking them "…what I said about I won't attack her? so since when did you guys eavesdropping?".
Yun sniffed, waved his arm "sorry, we were worried".
Kija swept his tears with the handkerchief that brought by Jae Ha. Shina kept silent even if it was clear that he was worried about Yona and Zeno only smiling brightly like always.
"now, now, since we worried that Yona Dear would weep or attacked by a 'bear', we only stand here and listening properly…".
"who did you call as a bear, huh?", Hak landed his foot on the Green Dragon's face, Hak sighed, he couldn't believe that he'd loosened his self-guard as he was around Yona to comforted his princess.
Shina patted Hak's shoulder before bowed his head "we didn't know... she felt sad of her father... sorry...".
"needn't to sorry, Shina...", Hak waved his hand, convinced them that they must go to sleep too since Yona wanted to get her beauty sleep "and one more time, I won't attack her".
"Hak~ just come inside, please~ let's sleep" whined Yona inside.
Hak grinned, he knew there's a time when his princess wanted to spoiled by his affection and it was one of that so he got inside the tent "coming, princess~".
Yun sighed before pushed the beast back to their tent this night "let's hope we won't heard some strange sound, then".