Dislaimer: None of the characters contained herein belong to me. But I do own 4 out of the 6 seasons on DVD. And that's about all I own. Please don't sue me.

A/N: Originally posted for the Last Fanfic Author Standing Challenge. This is officially unbetaed, but I did apply the concrit provided by the participants in the challenge.

WARNING-CHARACTER DEATH

I hate the smell of this place. I always have. Rubbing alcohol, bleach and a piney disinfectant, all trying to overpower the smells of life, death and all the hurts and happiness in between.

Life is messy and smelly and wonderful. Even the hard things aren't so hard when you remember the wonderful things and know you're loved.

I know this is one of those hard things for you, bringing me to this sterile place to die. It's okay. Really. It's my time. I know you love me. I love you, too—with all my heart.

I've had a good life. It's really important that you understand that. Please know that I know it, too. I don't have any regrets, other than I have to leave you and the rest of my family now. But it's been a really good life.

I'm sad it's coming to an end, especially with the kids being so young. My dying is going to break their hearts. I want them to remember me with love and affection, but they're also going to remember my death as their first real hurt. I'm a little upset about that, but I also think it's important they understand death is a part of life.

Those two little girls, Gil--you need to make sure they know how much I loved them. I've watched over them since they were babies. They're my pack, same as you. I'd die to protect them. I just wish I could protect them from this hurt. I wish I could protect you and Sara from it, too.

I don't remember any of my life before you. I know there was one; I know I came from somewhere but you're my first memory. And then Sara. I don't think Sara was there at first, but I'm getting old and sometimes things get fuzzy. I think it was just us, then she came and it was the three of us. I'm almost sure she went away for awhile and sometimes I get that confused with whether she was there in the beginning or not. I was pretty young when all of that happened but now I'm not and, like I said, things get fuzzy.

Then it was the three of us again and I remember every minute of that. Because you were sad but when she came back you were so happy and she was happy and that made me happy. I loved all the time the three of us spent together watching movies on the bed, working in your office, going for walks in the park.

Then the girls came and they were noisy and messy; they made all three of us very tired and even happier. Their little hands pulled on my ears and their tiny fingers dug into my fur. I was their pillow sometimes and their protector others. I've loved every minute of it. The five of us are a family. I am a lucky boy, I know that.

They're coming with the shot now. It's time to say goodbye.

I hope you know what's in my heart. I wish I had a way to be sure that you feel all the love and the gratitude I feel, all the happiness you've given me. I wish there was a way you could be me just for a minute, so you could know how much I love you.

I'll miss you. All of you. I wish I could stay with you forever. But it's time. I'm tired of being in pain. I can't stand up any more and I can't eat. I really do understand how difficult this is for you to bring me to this place. Even though I wish I could die in my own bed, I appreciate you doing this one last thing for me and letting me go.

Thank you for everything. You've been the best friend.