Chapter 1: The Road Trip
Jay stared out the window at the miles and miles of open fields. The air conditioner was blasting against the crazy Chicago heat outside. The two were on their way home from a brothers weekend. Will knew that the past few months had been hard on Jay, and wanted to get him away, and give him a break. He could see that his mind was starting to wonder once again, and he feared he would once again lose Jay to his time in the war.
"You remember that time mom took us to that petting zoo out here?" Will asked with a smile.
"Yea. I remember you freaking out because the goat bit your hand." Jay said, cracking a smile for what seemed like the first time in forever.
"And then baby Jay walked right up and fed it no problem. Dad didn't let me live that down for years!" Will said, rolling his eyes, but still laughing.
"So I heard what happened with you and Natalie. Are you guys a thing now?" Jay asked, changing the subject before it could be switched to him, even though he knew it was inevitable.
"It's...complicated. I don't really know yet. How'd you find out?" Will asked after a pause, when it hit him that he hasn't told anyone, so how come his brother knew?
"I heard the nurses gossiping at Molly's the other night. Trust me, I get complicated. But if you can learn anything from me, it should be not to wait or put it off for to long, or it might be gone." He answered.
"I know. I just don't want to rush things. I have to make sure she's ready for this." Will said slowly.
"From what I heard, she is. Is it true she took her sabbatical so she could figure out her feelings for you?" Jay asked, glad it was his turn to prod, as it had been the other way around for most of the trip.
"Yea. I think it was good for both of us to figure stuff out. Now we decide where we go from here." Will said.
"What? What's that look about?" He asked when he saw Jay's smirk.
"Nothing, it's just that it's about damn time!" He replied, his smile growing. Will matched it with his own, and they started laughing together.
Later…
Will glanced towards the passenger's seat, and turned the radio down when he saw that Jay had finally actually fallen asleep. It came as a surprise, as he knew that his ptsd had come back in the last few days, and he hadn't been functioning very well. That was the whole point of the trip, to get him away from everything. He knew he had to be tired, as had spent a decent portion of the night listening to Jay toss and turn, waking up multiple times. He recalled having to quickly pretend he was asleep each time Jay would jump awake so he wouldn't feel bad. By now he wondered how long it would last. As if on cue, Jay began to shake his his head violently. He saw sweat beads start to form on his forehead as incoherent mumbles filled the car. As they pulled up to a stop sign, Will gently reached over and put a hand on Jay's shoulder, even though he knew this was probably a bad idea.
"Jay! Hey, wake up! It's me!" He said, watching as Jay slowly woke up. He took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
"Where were you this time?" Will asked.
"What do you mean?" Jay questioned, trying to seem confused, but obviously deflecting.
"Jay, you know exactly what I mean. You need to talk to someone about what you're going through, and since you're currently stuck in this car, that someone is gonna be me." he answered.
"Afghanistan. There, you happy?" Was all Jay answered, staring blankly ahead."Jay, come on. Please talk to me! That's why I wanted to get you away!" Will pleaded.
"Oh, so you could shrink me? Yea you tried that already. It didn't work." Jay said. His gaze dropped to his left hand, and he began to stare at a jagged scar that stretched from the bottom of his index finger to the bottom of his palm on the opposite side.
"That scar have anything to do with it?" Will asked when he noticed Jay tracing it with his finger, a far away look creeping into his eyes.
"Yea. Let's just say this is what happens when you try to stop a fight between two hungry, sleep deprived, pissed off soldiers unprepared." Jay said with a sigh.
"So you broke up a fight and got a gash that big on your hand? How'd it happen?" Will asked again.
"It's a long story." Jay brushed it off.
"Yea, well we've got time." Will answered. Jay realized that he wasn't going to give up any time soon, so he decided to give in.
"Fine. It was about four months into my second tour. My unit was somewhere deep in the desert in the middle of the hottest part of the year. Our mission was to take out the local human and weapon trafficking scumbag, Abdul Rasheem."
"I could've had him Reece!" Jack stormed over to the other officer as they filed out of the banged up truck they were using to fit in and hide their identity. Jay sighed as he hopped out and shot Logan a look. It had been a long, hot day hunkered down in the hills waiting for their target to walk out into the open, and when he finally did, it was all for nothing.
"What, and kill a kid in the process?! Commander made it very clear that there are to be no civilian casualties! The government doesn't know we're here, and it needs to stay that was unless you want to start World War three! We are way too close to having Rasheem's head to jeopardize the mission." Jesse shook his head, and turned to walk away.
"One shot, and I could've had that for you! You kept me from getting justice for Joe! He was my best friend!" Jack said.
"Yea well he was my brother!" Jesse yelled.
"You sure don't act like it!" jack snapped. Jay and Logan took a step closer, seeing the rage that flooded into Jesse's eyes. The rest of the men had ignored the conversation and went to set up their beds for the night, or hadn't even heard it at all.
"Wait, why would this Jack guy want to kill him for Jesse? What happened to his brother?" Will asked.
"About a week before this, another Ranger Unit was ambushed by Rasheem and his men. Joe Reece was one of the fatalities. By the time my unit leader, Derek, got word, we already one under in the organization, and a location on him. Higher ups wouldn't let us drop it." Jay explained.
"But isn't that a conflict of interest?" Will asked.
"That's what we all thought, Jesse was always a pretty level headed guy. He hid his emotions. Besides, he told Derek that the only way he was leaving the country without Rasheem being dead was if he was in casket." Jay answered.
"Hard to argue with that. Makes sense, so what was the other guys problem?"
"Jack and Jesse were opposites. Jack was a hot head. He thought he had a shot, but it wasn't a clear one. We all knew it, but he didn't want to admit it. He just wanted the glory for taking out the top trafficker at the time, nothing else."
"He sounds like a piece of work." Will said with a scoff.
"He was. But all in all, he was a damn good soldier. Saved my life a few times in boot camp." Jay said with a sigh.
"So what happened next?" Will asked, trying to keep him talking.
"You son of a..!" Jesse yelled, catching Jack directly on the jaw. Before the others realized what was happening, the two soldiers were in a fight of brute strength. Jay and Logan knew they had to break it up. Then things began to spiral out of control when Jack picked up an empty beer bottle and launched it at Jesse. He ducked just in time, and they watched it shatter on the ground.
"Alright! That's enough!" Logan yelled, and he and Jay rushed in and each grabbed one of them men. Jay grabbed Jack's arms and pinned them behind his back. He struggled against the grip, but Jay had a good three inches in height and muscle on him, so it was in vain. He forcefully turned Jack away from his adversary, trying to walk him away. Just as he turned, Jesse freed himself from Logan's grasp, and landed a punch that was meant for Jack just below his temple. Jay felt his feet go out from under him, and put his hands out to break his fall. Unfortunately, he fell into the pile of glass. He felt a sting in his palm, but jumped back up when he saw that Jack and rushed back to where Logan had finally gotten a tighter grip on Jesse. He put his other hand on Jack's chest.
"Walk away! NOW!" Jay said. Jack narrowed his eyes, trying to catch his breath, and pushed Jays shoulders. Jay stumbled slightly, then steadied himself. He shoved him back, but harder.
"Don't start with me man!" Jay said. They all turned as their commander stormed towards them.
"You two! In my tent right now! I'll be in in a minute, and if anything is out of place, I will have you both out on the next chopper, and I will replace you with guys who know how to act right! We don't have time for this!" the two men said nothing and made their way towards the tent. Then Commander Lantz turned to the peacemakers.
"Another fight about Joe?" He asked.
"Yea. Third one since we left the sight." Logan answered.
"Lou said he almost shot a kid today? What's the deal with that?" he asked.
"Rasheem came out of the meeting and I had a clear shot, but something spooked him. He picked up a kid for insurance, and I lost him in the crowd. Jesse had to force him to stand down." Jay explained, wiping his hand on his pant leg. Lantz was about to ask another question, but stopped when he noticed the bright red saint that was now streaked across Jays pants.
"You alright Halstead?" he asked, coming over for a closer look.
"Yea I'm fine. It's just a scratch." Jay shrugged it off.
"Did one of them stab you?" Lantz asked, looking closer at the leg for a rip.
"No, nothing like that. Jesse decided he wanted one more swing, and I was trying to get Jack away from him, so my arms were occupied. I took one to the eye, and fell on that bottle he threw." Jay explained, briefly showing his hand.
"That's pretty deep. I'll have Tyrell take you to the base tomorrow to have it looked at." Lantz said, looking at the cut.
"No that's not necessary." Jay answered, starting to walk away.
"What do you mean? Halstead, your our best sniper! We can't afford to lose you just because of some stupid argument!" Commander yelled.
"That's exactly why I can't go! Jesse didn't tell you yet, but we have credible intel on Rasheem's location. We're going to move on it tomorrow. I'll stitch it myself, I've done it before." Jay said, and walked away despite the prot…..
"Old habits die hard I guess." Will said, raising an eyebrow at his brother.
"You wanna hear the rest of the story?"
"Yea." Will replied with a smirk.
"Then shut up." Will raised a hand off the steering wheel in surrender.
"Your crazy, you know that?" Jay looked up from the table as he heard Logan enter the room. The tall, slender built man shook his head as he ran a hand through his shaggy red hair. They'd been stuck in this valley for about a month now, which meant the short cropped haircut had given way to longer locks.
"So I've been told." He answered. He looked back to his work, and closed his eyes as he stuck the needle into his skin.
"How doesn't that hurt?!" Logan asked, turning away.
"It does. We've been over this before." Jay said, blowing out a breath of pain as he tied off the last stitch.
"Yeah, but that time it was a lot smaller and only took like two minutes! Did you clean it out? Did you sterilize the needle and everything? Did you…"
"Yes mom, I did. Just bandage it for me while I clean up please." Jay said sarcastically, then smiled at his friend.
"So how many stitches was it?" Will asked.
"What?" Jay asked, not realizing right away that Will had cut in again.
"Stitches? How many did it take, and without numbing it? And you had done it before?" Will probed.
"I don't remember exactly, it was a long time ago. I think it was like eight. I have a tiny scar on my ankle from a getting stuck trying to get through a barbed wire fence. Turns out tear gas is hard on you even if your running away from it." Jay said.
"Tear gas? In Afghanistan?" Will asked, confused.
"That's a story for a different time. Now I was just about to answer your next question, so please stop interrupting me!" Nay said with an annoyed sigh.
"Ok, sorry! Continue." Will answered.
"Thank you."
Jay tucked everything back into the medical kit, and looked back to where Logan finished the wrapping, then added a layer of medical tape to keep everything in place.
"We got any Advil left?" he asked, trying to shake the stinging out of his hand.
"I got some." Jesse said after he and Jack entered the tent. He caught the bottle that was tossed at him with the opposite hand, and unscrewed it one handed. He popped two in and swallowed, ignoring the sour taste of the coating.
"Look, I'm sorry about….all that. I was hot and tired, and I shouldn't have said any of what I did. It was stupid, and now I might've just taken out the best sniper we have." Jack apologized.
"I should be the one feeling guilty about that one. Your good, right?" Jesse asked.
"This isn't my first rodeo, I'll be fine. I know we'll all feel better when one of us puts a slug in Rasheem, doesn't matter who. How bout' we just focus on that?" Jay said, pulling off his uniform and the tank top underneath before flopping onto his cot.
"Hooah!" Logan yelled from the bed next to him. Jay smiled, and answered the chant with the rest of them.
"So there you have it. That's how I got this massive scar." Jay finished.
"Wow. Sounds like you miss it." Will said quietly. He thought he had lost him again when there was a pause, and silence fell over the car.
"Sometimes. Then I remember all the guys I had to watch die, and suddenly I don't anymore." Jay said, staring out the window once again.
"Is that why you were crying just before I woke you up?" Will pressed.
"Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I pulled Logan and Jesse out of our humvee. It was three days after the fight. We had gotten Rasheem and were on are way to base for ex-fil when we drove over an IED. It was smaller than they usually are, but still big enough to k….." Jay trailed off. Will felt as if he had been punched in the gut. He could see the sorrow in his brothers eyes, and it killed him that he had to carry this.
"Jack didn't make it?" Will asked, though he already knew the answer.
"No. I went back for him. I had him. I was just about to pull him out when my hand slipped, and before I knew it the fire had reached the gas tank. I had him." Jay said, drifting off again, remembering the ringing in his ears, feeling like someone was sitting in his chest. Feeling Logan grab the shoulder strap of his vest and drag him away from the wreckage. The rest of the team pulled the second humvee up beside them minutes later, then blacking out into darkness.
"According to Logan, this wasn't your fault. He told me the second half of that story soon after I met him. Said you save his and Jesse's life. That's something to be proud of." Will said, trying to comfort Jay.
"Yea, maybe." He replied.
Later…
Will looked over to the passengers seat, surprised to see Jay engulfed in a book. The brothers had spent the night at their relatives house in the nearby town, and toured the town their mom had grown up had found the thick book he was now holding on the dusty bookcase of the family house. They had eaten breakfast in the corner cover shop, then gotten back on the road.
"You really should be wearing your seatbelt, you know." Will said.
"Why, it's all back roads?" Jay questioned. They were both snapped to attention was a loud bang sounded in front of them. They were following a pickup truck that was hauling construction materials. A steps had come loose, and because of the speed they were going, the tailgate flew open, releasing the contents of the truck all over the road. Before Will could react, his tire went over a spilled pile of screws, popping it. He swerved to try to avoid a stray toolbox, but lost control of the car. Jay tried to brace himself, but it was to late. As they spun out of control, the tire that was now ripped open rolled into a pothole. The speed of the car sent it rolling into a dangerous crash. It was stopped by a nearby tree stump. The jolting stop in momentum paired with Jays unbuckled belt sent him crashing through the already damaged windshield and into the ditch alongside the road. The moment his head crashed through the glass, his world went black.