Naruto's 5th Return! Revenge of the Fat Boys!
By: DMEX
Nadda is fricken mine!
-Hallway-
Kakashi just happens to be reading Make Out Paradise in the corner when Beth Phoenix spots him. She tugs on his arm to get his attention
Kakashi: Can I help you?
Beth: Doing anything later on?
Kakashi: Not really anything special, besides feeding the dogs; killing the emus that Naruto failed to exterminate; and putting Beastly on DVR…
Beth: Wanna go out to dinner?
Kakashi: Just as long as I don't have to take Naruto with us…
Beth: Just you and me…
Kakashi (thinking): This is gonna be a long night…
-Food Court-
(Choji is ordering food at the KFC stand)
Choji: -a 4 extra crispy with cole slaw, a 9 with macaroni and cheese, a 12 piece chicken strip meal with macaroni and cheese and a large Mountain Dew.
(Dolph Ziggler just happens to be passing by and overheard Choji's order)
Dolph: You're going to eat all that? Seriously?
Choji: So what? I'm hungry!
Dolph: It's called overeating, ever heard of it, fat boy?
Choji (angry, as Cartman): EY! DON'T CALL ME FAT! I'M BIG BONED!
*: Here's your order.
(Choji pays for it and walks away, and flips off Ziggler; though it censored)
-RAW Zone-
(Cole and King are laughing)
Cole: I can't believe he actually flipped Dolph Ziggler off.
King: He probably eats as much as Big Show as Goku combined.
Cole: Anyway, we are LIVE in Louisville, Kentucky and the WWE Universe is jam packed tonight on Monday Night RAW. Jerry "The King" Lawler, Michael Cole and joining us is Shikamaru and Ino.
Shikamaru: (God knows why) Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler are to face off against Choji & Kharma. It may not even happen. Remember Kharma has been told not to even bother coming back for a year. Completely pointless.
You can look, but you can't touch
(crowd has a mixed reaction to the Bella Twins coming out. They are dressed like Naruto, but have the green goggles.)
Shikamaru & Cole: Don't tell me The Bella Twins are one of Naruto's fans?
Ino: Who would want to be a Narutard?
King: Apparently The Bella Twins… And I'm a Narutard, too!
Shikamaru: No wonder you dress like him.
Brie: You know what I'm thinking Nikki?
Nikki: What's that Brie?
Brie: Who would want to get in bed with that Kharma. It has to be that fatty Choji Akamichi.
(crowd boos at this)
Nikki: (mock gasps) It makes total sense now! He's fat enough, he's probably into that Kharma (a little too much if you ask me) and have one thing in common.
Brie: They both smell like food!
(crowd boos very loudly)
Ino (angry): THE NERVE OF THOSE DAMNED BITCHES! I'LL KILL THEM!
Shikamaru: I actually agree with them Ino. I wouldn't put it past Choji.
(Pig Hunting banjo music blares as Choji comes out. The crowd cheers for him)
Cole: Is that the banjo he's coming out to?
Shikamaru: Don't ask…
Choji: First off, I'm not the one who got in bed with her!
(crowd cheers)
Choji: And second: I'M NOT FAT-
Crowd: I'M BIG BONED!
Choji (angry): DAMN RIGHT!
Nikki: You? Not fat? Every time someone sees you, you're munching on something. In fact, your eating a sausage.
(chewing sounds)
Choji: So? I can stop… But I just don't want to…
Shikamaru (sarcastically): Nice one, Choji…
(E-Mail Blips, crowd boos)
Cole: Can I have your attention, please-?
Choji (angry): JUST READ THE DAMNED E-MAIL!
Cole: And I quote: "Will the owner of a 1999 white Sedan, license plate 'AIQ 9199' please go to the parking lot-"
(Cole reads it quietly, a little concerned though)
Cole: I'll be right back, my car lights are on…
(Cole leaves to shut his car lights)
Cole (thinking): That's strange, I thought I had that problem fixed?
-Parking Lot-
Cole gets to his car, and finds out what the problem is
Naruto Toy: Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!
Cole (angry): IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE, NARUTO?
(rips it off, car chirps)
Cole: Damn that Naruto and Edge!
(rumbling sound)
Cole: what the-
400 steel chairs fall on Cole. The crowd cheers loudly.
Naruto: That's for the comment you made about me on Facebook you bastard!
(Cole manages to slips out, but barely)
Naruto slams Cole's face on a vacant steel chair
(A/N: You know what's next fans!)
Edge hits Cole with his infamous Con-Chairto. Cole is out cold, and Naruto kicks him and Edge stomps on him
Edge: Stay down you worthless son of a bitch!
Naruto: That was fun, so where's Vickie and Ziggler?
Edge: Already taken care of….
(Naruto and Edge have that infamous smirk on their face)
-Main Event, RAW ZONE-
(Opening Bell)
Justin Roberts: This contest scheduled for one fall-!
I am Perfection! Perfection!
I am Perfection! So take your best shot-
(Crowd boos loudly for Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler)
Justin Roberts: On the way to the ring, Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler.
Ino: And here comes the biggest bitch in the world and that stupid pansy of hers.
Shikamaru: Don't get too comfortable, this match isn't gonna happen…
King: Don't be a spoilsport…
(Pig Hunting banjo music blares in the arena as the crowd cheers for the ultimate underdog big boned ninja)
Justin Roberts: And their opponents, first from The Village Hidden in the Leaves, standing at 5'7" weighing in an excess of 385 lbs, please welcome "The Big Boned Ninja" Choji Akimichi.
Naruto (joining commentary): Hey, guys. Miss anything?
Ino (angry): WHAT DO YOU THINK?
(The lights went out)
King: What just happened?
The lights go back on and Vickie and Dolph are laying out flat. 4 masked Ninja dressed in Anbu Assassination Squad attire; they unmask and it's none other than Sheamus, Triple H, Randy Orton and Kharma
Naruto: HOW'S IT FEEL TA GET YOUR ASS KICKED; VICKIE!
(Naruto goes in, with a office thumb tack, the crowd cheers)
Ino: What is Naruto doing?
King: I have the feeling it's gonna be big…!
(Sheamus picks Vickie up)
Sheamus: DO IT, NAYRUTO!
Shikamaru: What's he doing with that office thumbtack…?
Naruto: LEAF SECRET FINGER JUSTU: THE BUTT POKE OF DEATH!
Jabs Vickie in the butt; and Vickie shrieks in pain as she shoots up 20 feet in the sky and out of the ring. The crowd roars into laughter, even John Morrison, Teddy Long, Big Show and Kane think it's funny
Ino (angry): DAMN NAAAARRUUUTTOOOOOO!
Shikamaru (face palms himself): I don't believe this…
(King can't stop laughing)
-The next day; Kakashi's house 8:30 a.m.-
Kakashi hears knocks at the door. Kakashi's dogs bark very loudly. He slips on his mask and his pants (he was in his boxers) answers the door and it's Beth Phoenix
Kakashi (sarcastically, dryly): You had wake me up, didn't you…
Kakashi (sweat drops, thinking): This is what I get for listening to Stephanie McMahon…
END?