Think of an ocean. The most exemplary of oceans that you think could never possibly be real it was so flawless. No pollution, no darkness, nothing that doesn't belong there, nothing that could ever fault the perfection. And as you get closer at the bottom of the ocean you see diamonds. Shining and enticing and idiosyncratic diamonds, and even though they're not yours you feel rich just for looking at them.
This was Alexander Gideon Lightwood's eyes and Magnus could tell you a million stories about those eyes. The diamond ocean, the Alaskan sky, the ice that makes you shivers and leaves you longing for more. But no pattern of words could ever give the true justice of Alec's eyes.
Magnus had been drowning in those eyes since day one. They caught his attention more than any other colour ever had. He gave him the nick name 'blue eyes' because of it, he would try to match Alec's clothes with the colour of his eyes –to no avail-, and on the happiest day of his terribly long life he lost himself in the younger boys ageless eyes as he said 'I do'.
His husband's eyes were beautiful until the moment they closed.
Shadowhunter's had never had the most stable life. Death was no stranger to them, it practically stalked them through their whole life's waiting for them to make the smallest of mistakes and give them the largest downfall.
Magnus was walking, he didn't know where, he didn't know how he'd got there or where he was going, but his husband held his hand too perfectly that he didn't dare enquire it. There was no one around but them. Their footsteps did not leave even the tiniest of noise; it was a deafening silence all around.
The demon came from nowhere. Magnus couldn't believe that he never heard it coming, never got to prepare. Alec reached behind him, as if his bows where there and let out a noise between a gasp and a groan when all he could grab was air. His spectacular eyes held panic and fear as he realised he was weaponless.
The demon struck, a deadly blow for Magnus, he prepared himself for his long due death but felt not the tiniest of scratches.
As quickly as the demon appeared, it disappeared in a black cloud leaving nothing behind but the smoky sweet scent of devastation.
"Magnus" Alec whispered his voice so small, so frail. Magnus turned round and his eyes took in the most demoralizing sight he had seen in all his years.
"My love" Magnus cried and rushed to catch the boy as he crumpled to the floor. Black curtains were hiding the diamond ocean as it was drained out. Magnus hugged his husband close to him, feeling the warm silky texture of the blood around Alec's stomach.
Magnus didn't know how, but he knew Alexander couldn't be saved. The demon he couldn't name had been powerful and the wound it left was simply a nozzle for blood.
He was losing his everything.
"I'm sorry" Alec said, blood slipping out of his mouth and running down his lip to his chin, the bright red hauntingly contrasted with his pale skin and it was an image Magnus would remember for the rest of his life, however long or short that may be.
"Hush, my love. You're okay" Magnus whispered, stroking Alec's cheeks. Usually he would feel warmth and the boy would blush, red would spread all around his cheeks. But now Magnus's hand was colder than it had been before and the boy was getting paler than Magnus thought ever possible.
"I love you" Alec told him and placed a soft kiss on his hand. Even his lips were cold.
"And I love you" Magnus cried, watching as the brilliant glimmer in the boys eyes died out, leaving behind the most beautiful corpse.
He screamed. It sounded unhuman, more of a howl. He had heard stories of when a wolf's mate dies they often lose the will to continue living without them. Alexander was his one true mate. If there was no Alec in this world then there was nothing.
For so long the only thing keeping him in this world was a tiny thread of his humanity, with Alec gone the thread was as non-existent as he wanted to be.
"Alec, my Alec. My Alec" He repeated, his tears falling onto the boy's face, drowning him. "No no no!" He screamed burying his face in the boys black hair, the scent of sandalwood long gone replaced with the scent of sweet sorrow. "My love, my love, my-"
"Magnus? Magnus!" An angel's voice yelled, alarmed and panicked.
Slowly, Magnus opened his eyes, blinking a few times to define his view. The room dark and dull but Magnus knew what was in front of him. The rate of breathing, the unmistakable eyes, the scent. He knew.
He lay right where he belonged, bare chested, messy hair and two pools of glass, uncracked, undamaged and perfectly pure.
"What's wrong?" Alec asked and laid a hand on Magnus's cheek. Moving his thumb up and down, warmth all around.
"Nothing" Magnus chocked out, not wanting to repeat any of the horrifying details of his nightmare, though he knew he would never be able to forget the vision, the crimson blood on his love's silky white skin, the feeling of what it was like to lose everything and as a result want nothing.
"You're upset Magnus" Alec sighed and shuffled closer. "Tell me about it" He asked, eyes staring up at him so sweetly.
"I just lost hold of you, my love" Magnus told his husband and pulled him closer, resting his head on Alec's chest so he could listen to his heartbeat.
He decided that he wanted to sleep like this every night, listening to the never ending song of his love's heart. The beat so precise and vibrant. Magnus was a wolf. One day he knew that his mate would be lost forever, but when that day comes Magnus would go with him. Lost in his eyes, forever and always.